The Eternal Paradox
by InMyWildestDreams
Summary: "The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die. They must bear the burden of the eternal paradox." When the world is consumed by Chaos and the knight of Etro is thrown into a long forgotten past, will she be able to set things right, or will she allow herself to be swept away by the raging tides of Chaos lurking within all of us?
1. Introduction

**THE ETERNAL PARADOX**

 **INTRODUCTION**

 _The one with the power to change the timeline must choose_

 _Between those who live and those who die._

 _They must bear the burden of the eternal paradox._

* * *

When the world is consumed by Chaos and the knight of Etro is thrown into a long forgotten past, will she be able to set things right, or will she allow herself to be swept away by the raging tides of Chaos lurking within all of us?

* * *

 **This story is for those who choose to read it.**

 **This story is for you.**

* * *

Here we go with my new story.

This story is Lightning x Caius and it is `slightly´ AU *wink*

There will be a maximum of 15 chapters - update intervals will be about once to twice a month. Depending on freetime and inspiration.

This story has lots of quotes inside. Please note that although I altered many of them in order to fit my story and I do not always indicate their origin right where I put them, none of them is originally mine.

Most of them are written italic, but some are not, as I incorporated them into my text and I didn´t want cursive letters to disturb the layout. I will point them out at the end of every chapter though.

I also put in song titles at the beginning of most chaps, because I just love to listen to music while writing. Feel free to listen to them to create additional athmosphere, or don´t, if this kind of stuff just annoys you.

In the first 2 chapters you will encounter a lot of quotes and content you already know from the game - some of it twisted and bent again to accomodate the story. I´m really sorry if this bores the crap out of you guys, but I really needed it to get the story started.

My appologies.

And, oh yes, of course Square Enix owns Final Fantasy.


	2. Chapter I: The Eternal Paradox

(Greatness awaits theme song/Caius theme FFXIII-2 OST)

 **CHAPTER I: THE ETERNAL PARADOX**

 _Time is our great obsession._

 _Who has not dreamed of returning to the past, of changing the future?_

 _Imagine the power,_

 _To see how our choices affect our lives, and then return to undo them..._

 _Endless possibilities._

 _Imagine the freedom to cross time and journey throught the ages,_

 _The freedom to change the past, and bend history to your will._

 _What would you do if you had that power?_

 _Would you capture it, or just let it slip?_

* * *

 **Academia, 500 AF**

„You fight bravely to protect your friends, like a true guardian!" Caius Ballad´s distinctive voice carried over the noise of the airship´s engines.

Those words that would have made Noel feel proud to hear from his former mentor, back 200 years in the future, now sounded derisive and taunting.

Was Caius teasing him?

Noel had barely managed to block the guardian´s last attack that had been aimed to kill the pink haired girl hurrying to get on her feet behind him and now their swords were clashing once again.

He had promised Lightning to protect her.

He had sworn to protect her.

And he wouldn´t let him hurt her.

He wouldn´t fail.

Not this time.

Not while he was still breathing.

„What about you Caius? You swore the same oath to protect Yeul!" the brunette hunter retorted fiercly. His voice was determined, accusing, the words he had chosen tasted bitter on his tongue. They were meant to hurt.

But they failed to induce the desired effect.

Instead of startling the guardian as he had anticipated, they served only to annoy him, made him fight back even harder.

The muscles of his right arm twitching dangerously, Noel was having a hard time keeping his defense up.

His strenght was leaving him.

He knew he couldn´t possibly keep this up much longer.

With Caius having the power of Chaos on his side, his opponent was just too strong.

He couldn´t understand what Caius was playing at anyway.

The ancient purple haired man in front of him had been his mentor, had sometimes even been like a father to him.

That man he thought he knew, he had changed.

Behind his calm and calculated exterior, unbeknowest to his successor, something horrible, something terrible, had been growing.

Growing like a cancer.

Rendering the man Noel had once known somebody different, somebody altered beyond recognition.

Noel was about to break, when suddenly the purple haired warrior backed down, if even only slightly so, it was enough for the young hunter to be able to push him away.

Surprised by the sudden turn of events, looking up at the shadow of a man infront of him, the young man could see pain, regret, grief in those ancient features.

That same man standing there in front of him, he only shook his head.

„Everything I do is for Yeul." Caius said calmy, bitterly.

His voice was steady, determined.

Ancient.

Only his eyes betrayed the vortex of emotions raging inside the darkened abyss that he used to call his soul.

Noel didn´t understand.

What did he mean?

Caius wanted to destroy the world!

Surely Yeul would never approve of anything like this.

That much was for sure.

Maybe there wasn´t anything to understand at all.

These clearly were the words of a mad man.

Of a psychopath.

Words bereft of meaning.

That probably was what Caius´ twisted mind had spun up to justify his world destruction plans.

Or at least that was what the hunter would have thought, if it weren´t for the guardian´s eyes.

Those dark amethyst eyes...

They weren´t the eyes of a madman.

They were clear.

Focused.

Confident.

Determined.

„Her spirit is bound by a curse. I will save her." the black clad man revealed, starting to close the distance Noel had managed to create between them and intimidatingly brandishing his insanely huge sword.

Readying his two-bladed sword himself, adjusting his footage, prepared for his mentor´s next attack, the hunter waited. Waited for his opponent to charge. Waited for that rediculously huge sword to descend upon him once again.

Praying for an opportunity to strike, the young man felt his forehead brake in a sweat, felt his breath come in unregular shaky bouts, felt his heart beat violently against his ribacage as if wanting to break through, felt every single cell of his body tremble with fear, with dread.

But still, he stood his ground.

He needed to end this.

End this fast.

But those last words.

Those last words that had left Caius Ballad´s lips.

They made him waver.

The man in front of him might be deluded, he might be mislead.

Caius Ballad was many things, but he was no fool.

Everything he said, it all sounded like he was feeding them some cock and bull story, spun by some insane mind, but there was something in his voice, something in his eyes that claimed otherwise. Something that screamed that these weren´t lies told to deceive them, that this was in fact the truth.

And there was something else.

Yeul.

Noel had sworn to protect Yeul too.

„What curse?!" Noel inquired, unable to keep the confusion out of his voice, the tip of his sword lowering a tiny bit, as his resolve wavered.

Was it possible that he had missed something?

Something important?

Unsure of what to do he looked over at Serah Farron, the plucky pink haired girl who had positioned herself next to him, her bow ready, arrow aiming straight at the purple haired man´s cruel heart.

She just threw him a worried glance.

Noel wished she´d keep out of this.

This was none of her business.

This was between him and Caius.

And nobody else.

If all of this had something to do with Yeul, if his mentor thought whatever he was planning was going to help Yeul, how implausible it might sound, then he´d at least hear him out.

And it was when the man in question opened his mouth to speak again, that the atmosphere around them seemed to darken, that Noel´s heart plummeted and the grip on his weapon slackened.

„How many Yeuls have you met on this journey?"

The guardian´s voice was haunting, penetrating, his eyes were knowing and it were his words that made Noel´s resolution fade, fade until it vanished completely.

He didn´t need to answer this question.

They both knew there were just too many.

Way to many.

And that this was no coincidence.

„The jewel of the farseers is reincarnated without end, in every age." the black clad man revealed, narrowing his eyes dangerously at his former disciple.

Noel was starting to feel insecure.

Nervously shifting his weight, he struggled to understand.

What did that mean?

What did it mean for Yeul?

What did it mean for them?

„Think what that means. Her only purpose is to die over and over. Even though she can see the future she is not allowed to escape her fate. She is born, knowing that she will die before she has ever truly lived. Countless deaths without a life to give them meaning..."

The guardian´s words were bitter, laced with a pain darker and older than any of them could ever come to understand.

„I will break the cycle of despair. No matter how great the sacrifice." he vowed.

So Caius did all of this to save Yeul...

Noel had a hard time processing this information.

He should have guessed.

He should have guessed all along.

Caius wouldn´t do something foolish like planning to destroy the world on a whim.

No.

He was doing it for Yeul.

If that really was the case...

If whatever Caius had planned was to save Yeul...

Was Noel doing the right thing then?

Standing up against his mentor?

Was he even fighting on the right side?

Or should he be standing next to Caius and fight for those he loved?

For the one he had sworn to protect.

For Yeul.

Lowering his sword completely, he let his dark eyes dart back and foreward.

Back and foreward between Caius Ballad, the man he had known for all his life and Serah.

Serah Farron.

What about Serah?

He had sworn to protect her too.

Yes.

And this time he would keep his promise.

This time he wouldn´t fail.

He had already lost Yeul.

He had finally accepted it, the fact that he couldn´t save her.

That actually saving her had been beyond his power all the time.

He was over it.

But Serah...

He could still save her, right?

And it was with newfound resolve that the hunter charged forward, lunged out at his former mentor to attack, to end this once and forever.

But the guardian was fast and it seemed without effort that he blocked the young man´s blow.

„I shall destroy time and fate itself..." Caius disclosed, summoning his strenght and readying himself to push the hunter away.

„Then finally Yeul´s spirit shall be free!"

And with those words the warrior released his powers, realeased his pent up frustration, his anger, his rage, sending the boy he had once raised to succeed him, flying into the air to land at the other end of the airship deck.

Standing there, watching his opponent in a heap on the ground, weapon knocked out of his hand, Caius Ballad smirked.

Those two were no match for him.

Hearing the pink haired girl scream her companion´s name, as horrified she hurried over to his side, the purple haired guardian charged foreward relentlessly in another attack.

He didn´t know whether ending the lifes of thousands was worth the salvation of a single girl, but to him, it definitely felt right.

* * *

 _As Serah and Noel fought bravely to save mankind, another war was taking place on the distant shores of Valhalla._

 _In a world where life and death were indistinguishable,_

 _The warrior godess and the seeress´ guardian lead their armies against each other in eternal battle._

 _After fighting til´ the end of all eternity,_

 _who would emerge the victor?_

* * *

 **Timeless realms of Valhalla**

„That´s right Serah, keep it up! You´re nearly there." Lightning was standing on one of the balconies at the topmost level of the temple of the godess.

The godess was gone.

Etro´s empty throne room lying there behind her, quiet, abandoned, the silver armoured warrior faced the deserted streets of the timeless realms she had been cursed to reside in until the end of time.

Leaning against the balustrade, she gazed up into the cloudy sky, where she watched the events of the current timeline pass by before her very eyes.

She could do nothing but watch, a silent observer, as Serah and Noel fought valiantly, kept fighting for the future of all mankind.

And she was there, was mentally with them.

Leading them on.

Praying for them.

They were so close. So close to succeeding. And although the battle was hard and the way had been tough, in the end they´d make it.

She already knew this of course.

She had seen it.

She had seen the future, had seen it long ago.

The future that Noel and Serah would manage to save. A future where they´d all be together. Where they´d all be happy.

Yes...

She already knew what was going to happen...

Here from Valhalla, she could see everything.

The knowledge that all her hopes and dreams in the end would become reality had been the reason she had sent Noel to go after her sister in the first place. She would have never dragged Serah into this otherwise.

She would never endanger Serah.

But having seen the future, already knowing that the both of them´d succeed, she knew that albeit the journey would be a hard one, in the end Serah would make it.

In the end Serah would safe the world.

In the end Serah would emerge unharmed and whole.

And all would be well.

Having nothing else to do, Lightning continued to watch the future, the future she had fought to protect, continued until she reached those precious moments where the timeline would unwind and bliss and happiness would await.

When finally Caius Ballad would be defeated and the world would be cleansed of the Chaos he had brought upon it forever.

* * *

 **Shores of Valhalla after the Final Battle**

„Serah are you feeling alright?" Noel´s words were troubled, full of concern.

Serah looked alright, but so had Yeul, only seconds before she had died there in his arms.

„When the timeline changed, did you see anything? I mean did you feel any pain?"

He shuddered to think about that time, the only time, Yeul had died on him after having received a vision herself. He remembered how weak and helpless he had felt, unable to interfere, unable to do anything really, unable to protect the girl he had sworn to keep save.

He couldn´t fathom how Caius must have felt. Forced to witnesses Yeul´s cruel fate over and over again and again, a countless times. Maybe it was enough to drive any decent guy crazy.

Caius... Now finally he was gone.

Gone forever.

Nothing more than a memory.

Just like Yeul.

„No I feel great." Serah´s usually cheerful voice carried over to him and he felt relief wash over him.

„Good."

He wasn´t sure what he had anticipated, but the bad feeling he had been carrying around in his guts for weeks, it finally seemed to dissipate.

Serah was safe.

The future was safe.

They had succeeded.

They had saved the timeline.

Somehow it was hard to believe.

„Why don´t we go and find Lightning?" Noel suggested, upon spotting the pink haired girl´s lost expression.

„I don´t think she´s here, kupo." The moogle that had been hiding somewhere out of sight the entire battle piped up, it´s comment making Serah look up in concern.

„Oh no, wait. You don´t think that Caius really..?" she startet, her face suddenly anxious.

„No... that was just a lie." Noel quickly assured her. Everything was going to be alright. He just knew it.

„Now that the timeline is fixed, she´s back in her own world."

„Hey, I bet she is waiting for you, along with everyone else." the young man added, giving her a warm smile upon catching her unconvinced look.

„The paradoxes are resolved. The gates will disappear soon. We better hurry on back." Noel encouraged.

They´d better leave this place while they still could. They wouldn´t want to risk getting trapped in Valhalla for good.

„Right." Serah replied somewhat halfheartedly. Looking at the portal ahead, the one that would take them back to 500 AF, she wasn´t sure what would await them there.

500 years in her future, where they´d be able to look up into the sky and see the new Cocoon above them. She guessed that would be where they´d be living then.

It was the start of a brand new era.

Maybe Lightning would be there. She really hoped she would. She just had to.

Maybe Vanille and Fang would be there too. Surely they would.

And Hope would be there as well.

And Snow. Snow would be waiting there.

Of course.

Snow would always be there, waiting for her.

Feeling her heartbeat speed up in exitement, she started towards the portal.

„Alright, let´s go!"

And getting into a light run,she swiftly closed the distance. Extending her hand to reach out towards it, the moments her fingers came in contact with the blurry distortion, she felt her body sucked inside.

There was the suffocating feeling of travelling throught the Historia Crux, of travelling through space and time and then suddenly her stomach plummeted, as she felt the power of gravity reestablished, as she felt her body fall, fall from high above.

The vastness of Gran Pulse below her, racing towards her at incredible speed, the sky and the new Cocoon above her, her heart skipped a beat and a cry of panic lodged inside her throat as her body sped towards the ground.

Then suddenly there was Sazh´s airship, coming out of nowhere and there was Noel, catching her wrist and pulling her towards him.

„Gotcha!"

Back to the airship deck, relieved to have solid ground under her feet again, the young Farron took a few moments to catch her breath. Feeling shaky on her feet, it took some time for her to calm down, to recover from the initial shock, unexpectedly falling out of the sky had caused her.

„Are you feeling alright?!" her companion asked.

His voice was concerned, but there was a smile on his lips nonetheless. And he had every right to smile, hadn´t he?

They had made it, they had succeeded!

She couldn´t believe they had really done it!

It took her some minutes to realize what it meant exactly.

It meant they were save.

It meant everybody was going to be fine.

And it meant that maybe, just maybe, she was finally going to see her family again. To see her friends again.

„It´ll be good to see everyone again. I can´t wait to meet them!" Serah said, her eyes twinkling with joy.

„Yeah. Sure." Noel replied somewhat reserved.

It wasn´t exactly as if there would be anybody waiting for him.

„Noel?" Serah started, reaching out to comfortingly touch his shoulder, when all of a sudden the door to the airship deck was thrown open, Snow and Lightning hurrying outside, closely followed by Fang, Vanille and Hope (Sazh was flying the airship!), cheerful smiles plastered on all of their faces.

It was only moments later that she found herself crushed in a tight embrace.

„Serah! I missed you so much!" It was the voice of Snow, of the love of her life, of her fiancé. Looking up into his loving features, she couldn´t help but start to cry.

They had made it. They had really made it.

Her vision blurry with tears, she looked over to where Noel stood next to her older sister.

„Noel... Thank you." she heard Lightning say.

She was really there, was finally where she belonged, right here with them.

Just as it should have been from the beginning.

„You kept my sister save."

„You managed to save the future."

* * *

 **Valhalla, Temple of the Godess**

The knight of Etro watched the pictures passing by in the clouds for her to see with longing.

How they were reunited on deck of the airship.

How they would return to their new homes on the new Cocoon (Bhunivelze) Hope had created for them.

How they would live at a beach not unsimilar to the one they had lived at in Bodhum.

How Serah and Snow were getting married at last.

How they were all going to be happy.

Although she had seen them a thousand of times before, those images, they were still comforting. They gave her hope, gave her confidence. Both of which she would need, would need dearly, for her last battle, she knew, was yet to come.

And it was as if on cue that she was ripped out of her thoughts by the chime of that giant clock, the one that perched atop Valhalla´s highest turrets, announced the arrival of her deadly enemy.

Caius Ballad, the man she had fought so many times before, it was time for his soul to finally leave this world forever.

Summoning an army of Meonektons from the raging waves of the sea, the seeress´guardian came for her.

She was ready to send out her own.

She knew his games, knew every single trick of his, every strategy. She kew how the quirk of his eyebrow betrayed that he was about to unleash something nasty upon her, knew so well that smirk he´d sport whenever he thought he had the upper hand.

„Warrior godess!" she heard his voice echoe from the walls of Valhalla´s empty streets.

„Now we cross swords!"

And she was ready to draw Blaze Edge when he hauled himself up into the air to charge at her.

She didn´t remember when they had started fighting.

She didn´t know.

And she certianly didn´t know when it would end, if ever.

She had defeated Caius Ballad countless times and he had kept coming back again, countless times.

For all she knew, their fight would last until the end of eterniy.

But this time something was different.

She could feel it.

She knew it.

This time she´d get rid of him for good.

Ready to welcome her archenemy, she lunged at him, her blazefire sabre ready to chop off his stupid head.

The guardian deflected her blow effortlessly.

Summoning his Eidolon, he gave her one of his derisive smirks before jumping onto Bahamut´s back, he was off again.

Lightning sent a handfull of Eidolons after him herself, Etro´s servants who´d faithfully stand by her side. He fought them off with ease as usual.

She already knew they wouldn´t last long against him.

They never did.

She didn´t lose any more time watching, but calling Odin, she went straight after him, her enemy, who was soaring skywads, to encounter in that battle she had fought a countless times already.

Caius Ballad leaped off his Eidolon´s back and landed on top of one of the highest cliffs towering over the otherwordly dimension, the unsean realm, that was Valhalla.

Turning to look down at his approaching opponent, he couldn´t help but smirk.

Directing his gaze skywards, he focused his powers to summon one of his most powerful attacks.

Soon it would all be over.

Spotting the guardian looking at her from high above, Lightning knew whatever he had in store for her, it couldn´t be anything good.

Of course he needed to show off his superhuman abilities again.

This time he seemed to mean business though, summoning that meteor attack of his right at the beginning of the battle. It was usually something he´d keep for later, something she was very thankful for, as in all honesty she barely managed to survive whenever he used that one.

There was no use in whining though, she´d have to keep going.

Holding on to the back of Odin´s gestalt form for dear life, the pink haired warrior let her servant haul them up into the air. Barely escaping the dropping debris, soaring past them, aimed to crush them, they managed to ascend to the top of the cliff, where the guardian was standing, waiting for them already.

His trademark smirk plastered onto his face, a low chuckle escaped his throat the moment his eyes fell upon the pink haired woman.

There she was.

Ready to stand in his way once more.

Her endurance was impressive, inspiring.

But this time there would be no mercy.

This time he´d end this.

Once and for all.

The ancient man watched in amusement as the warrior godess approached on her steed, her face contorted in a mask of rage. Her gunblade ready, she launched herself at him.

„Caius Ballad!" her voice lashed out at him, followed by the fiercest battle cry she could muster. It was a greeting he knew all too well. A greeting as well as a threat.

He wasn´t scared in the slightest.

He admired her fierceness, her unwavering determination. It was a quality that couldn´t be found in a lot of people, let alone in a woman.

Killing her was a shame reallly.

But still, it needed to get done.

Using the powers the Godess Etro had bestowed on her, the heroine in silver armour managed to break the seeress´ guardian´s summon.

It wasn´t a feat that could have been accomplished by just anybody. It was quite an achievement, even for somebody with her skills. She usually had a much harder time fending off this one.

Landing near the edge of the cliff a few feet behind her enemy, the pink haired warrior took a second to catch her breath.

Caius Ballad granted her the moment.

He knew he owed her that much.

„Impressive." he growled.

She was tough, always had been. He had to give her credit for that.

„Save it." Lightning snapped. Her `cheerful´self as usual, the Godess´s warrior didn´t waste any time with courtesies.

Sensing the unrelenting female getting up and into fighting stance behind him, the purple haired warrior readied himself as well, braced himself for her next attack, which he deflected to counter at once.

The guardian brandishing his massive blade with ease, Lightning managed to bring up Blaze Edge just in time to block his upcoming assault. The sound of their clashing swords echoing endlessly in the abandoned emptyness that reigned the timeless realms, Lightning was starting to become anxious.

She needed to find a way to beat him.

There had to be one.

Everybody had a weakness.

This future she had seen, it was almost seizable.

She had seen herself there with Serah and the others.

She would succeed.

And it was with newfound resolve that the knight of Etro looked up into her enemy´s features, just in time to catch that twitch of his eyebrow that betrayed he was about to do something nasty and when he directed his gathered powers to the earth beneath their feet and made it crumble in a burst of Chaos, she was ready.

The ground under them suddenly breaking away, it sent them falling, leaving them to pursue their battle on a lower level of the rocky cliffs.

Caius Ballad elegantly landed on his feet infront of her with a well practised thud, but the divertion he had intended to create to his advantage failed to bring the desired effect, as the moment the two hit the ground the silver armoured knight was up and ready on her feet again.

Her readiness to strike again taking him by surprise, Lightning seized her chance and aiming directly at his cold dark heart, gathering all her remaining strenght, she thrust her sword foreward.

He blocked her with his bare hands. Effortlessly. Amused by her feeble attempts to take his life, that display of her inferior abilities, it was making him laugh.

„Damn you!" She snarled, her eyes ablaze with anger, her hands gripping her gunblade´s hilt so hard her fingers went numb inside their snug fitting black leather gloves.

She hated him.

She hated him so much.

Why did he have to be so incredibly strong?

Why did he have to fight her in the first place?

Why do all of this?

Feeling her insides seeth with rage, the heroine´s eyes were scanning her opponent´s armour, looking for a weak spot, where she could strike next.

It only made him laugh harder.

She was so predictable.

So simple.

So weak.

„Enough. Lets end this!" the black clad guardian growled and transforming into Jet Bahamut, he took to Valhalla´s desolate skies to then abrubtly turn and speed straight towards her.

 _Shit..._

The skyking´s raw power nothing she could possibly stand up to, eventhough gifted with the power of the Godess, there was nothing she could do to defend herself as the giant dragon crashed into her to send her flying over the edge of the cliff and to the shores below.

Just like that.

* * *

The body of the pink haired warrior slammed into the ground hard.

A blinding pain coursing through her entire body, she felt some of her rips crack upon the impact. She couldn´t stifle the tortured groan escaping her lips.

Dragging shaky, laboured breaths, every single one of them hurting like a knife stabbing at her ribcage, she willed her aching limbs to move.

She needed to get herself together.

Her legs responding only reluctantly, Lightning somehow managed to lift herself up onto her knees.

At least non of her legs seemed broken and her sword hand was still intact.

Feelig dizzy, large dark dots clouding her vision, the warrior felt around in the debris for her gunblade that had landed somewhere next to her, relief washing over her the second her fingers found it´s hilt and ignoring the warning signs her body gave her, she got up, ready to face her destiny.

She needed to stop him.

If she failed, there´d be nobody left to stand in his way.

The moment she was on her feet however, her strenght left her once again, making her legs give in and her body collapse to her knees again.

Her free hand shooting to her ribs at once, waiting a few moments for the lightheadedness to pass and for her vision to clear again, she sucked in tiny, shallow breaths, desperate to move her chest as little as possible.

This wasn´t good.

Not good at all.

Barely able to breathe, that throbbing pain in her chest restricing her every movement, it was the sight of that annoying man, back to his human form, swiftly landing right in front of her, his eyes twinkling down at her with malicious joy, his ancient features contorted into that derisive smirk of his, that made her force herself up onto her feet again.

She wouldn´t give in that easily.

No.

If he wanted her out of the way, he needed to kill her.

Raising her sword at her enemy for what felt like the billionth time since she had arrived in this godforsaken place, Etro´s warrior took a wobbly step forwards.

„Lets not waste any more time." The purple haired guardian said, dangerously narrowing his eyes at her. And off they were, clashing swords again.

* * *

Although severly injured and approaching the end of her limits, the warrior of the Godess fought as fierce and determined as ever, if not even more so.

She was prepared to give everything, everything she had, fighting this man.

Fighting Caius Ballad.

But in the end it wasn´t enough.

In the end the wounds she had received from her fall, and those he had managed to inflict on her in the ensuing fight, were taking a toll on her.

„You fight heroically. I have not expected anything less." The guardian commented in mock admiration.

She acknowledged the compliment with a sneer.

He would never shut up, would he?

It was the brute force behind his next attack that forced her to her knees again. And it was then that she realised that he had been holding back before, all the while, that it dawned on her, that all the time, he had merely been playing with her. That their battle had been nothing more than a pasttime for him, because if he had wanted, if he had really wanted to, he could have ended this millenia ago, back when they had engaged in their eternal fight for the very first time.

Scrambling away from him as fast as she could, her knees digging into the wet sand, her mind was working fast to come up with a new strategy, but failing to produce any viable plan. The pain in her ribacage making it impossible for her to think properly, from her position on the ground she was barely able to block his next blow.

It was only a half hearted one, she knew, with her body sprawled at his feet he could have crushed her easily.

But still...

„Go to hell." she managed to hiss between gritted teeth.

Maybe they were already there.

He just laughed at her.

„The godess made a wise choice. Even on your knees you seek to defy me." the words that left his lips were spoken in a toneless voice, completely devoid of emotion, and accopanied by that usual derisive smirk of his.

That smirk she hated so much.

„I can´t let you go through with this Caius... I can´t let you destroy the world!" she snarled.

Although she knew kneeling at his feet she was in no position to be cheeky, she felt brave, fearless.

It didn´t matter anyway.

A man like Caius Ballad wouldn´t show his enemy any mercy.

And neither would she.

It was true.

She couldn´t let him carry out his crazy plans.

She couldn´t.

And she wouldn´t.

No.

She had seen the future. Had seen how everything would turn out.

She knew that whatever happened, whatever he did to her, whatever she had to endure, in the end she would succeed and everything would be set right.

All of this would be forgotten.

As long as she could only see Serah smile one more time, if what she had seen in the skies of Valhalla would turn to reality, she didn´t care what happened to her.

In the end all her pain and her injuries would be worth it.

She just needed to hang on for a little longer.

Just a little longer.

„Oblivion is the fate of all things." The guardian said, taking a step in her direction. His voice full of spite, words accompanied by a low chuckle.

And it was then that he raised his sword again, readying it for the next blow, readying it for the kill.

* * *

 _Was this battle a dream or was it reality?_

 _Would a victory here even help you?_

 _I didn´t know what would happen._

 _And when the end finally came,_

 _I had none of the answers I needed._

 _But I had no choice._

 _All I could do was fight._

 _Only one thing was certain._

 _This was the war that would decide the future._

* * *

She was back on her feet in no time.

No.

It wouldn´t end like this.

She had seen it.

They had been together.

Serah and her and all the others, they would be reunited and they would be happy.

Caius wouldn´t win.

This battle was hers. And so was the future.

Caius Ballad would fail.

She needed to keep going.

She couldn´t allow herself to give up now.

She couldn´t allow herself to give up hope.

If she happened to loose hope, then everything else would follow suite.

Adrenaline coursing trough her body, her heart hammering away in her ribcage fast, the pain in her chest temporarily forgotten, she charged at the man infront of her once more. The man she had come to hate more than anything else. Her enemy.

Her sudden unexpected surge of power taking the guardian by surprise, she managed to dodge his fatal attack now delayed and seizing the opportunity, she brought up her gunblade to move in for the final blow.

And lunging forward with all her remaining strenght, she neatly pierced his heart.

Her hands on Blaze Edge´s hilt trembling with exitement and exhaustion alike, her strenght left her as the effects of the adrenaline ebbed away.

She couldn´t believe her luck.

She had made it.

SHE HAD MADE IT.

But something was off.

Something was wrong, terribly wrong.

Looking up into those ancient features only inches from her now, instead of contorted in shock and agony as she had anticipated, there was that annoying smirk again, tugging at his lips.

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, there was a short moment of silence before suddenly his free hand closed over her´s holding her sword, and grabbing it tightly he pushed the blade further into his chest, twisting it as he went, pulling her towards him, their faces were so close that he could feel her gasp of terror on his face, as he watched the pupils of her eyes dilate in horror.

Gasping in surprise, struggling to get away from the demon there in front of her, the warrior of the Godess managed to pull Blaze Edge free again, and stumbling back a few feet, she looked up at the purple haired male in terror, just to see that trademark smirk intensify.

Her brain refusing to accept what was happening right before her eyes, staggering past the debries scattered across the beach, she made to retreat further.

The man she had been fighting for aeons, she had stabbed his heart and there he was, instead of succombing to his injuries, instead of dying, he was still there making fun of her.

„You cannot kill me..." he stated matter of factly, the despair in her eyes generated by that realisation of hers was amusing him to no end.

What had she been thinking?

That she could just kill him? Simply as that?

If only it where that easy...

Fighting to stay on her legs, the protector of Etro squared her shoulders.

If she couldn´t kill him this way, then so be it.

She´d keep fighting.

She´d just keep fighting, until one day she´d find a way to get rid of him for good.

And putting Blaze Edge into gunmode, she raised her weapon at him again.

Aiming straight at his stupid smirk she pulled the trigger.

The guardian didn´t even bother to bring up his sword to deflect the bullets, but instead simply vanished in a swirl of black smoke.

What was going on?!

She couldn´t fathom what had just happened, as she stood there, her eyes fixed on the spot where her nemesis had disappeared only seconds ago.

Was he gone again...?

Was it over... ?

It was that low, charismatic voice of his, coming from behind her, that made the blood in her veins freeze, as she spun around to face him once again.

„Here in Valhalla time does not flow as it should." he revealed, the smirk displayed on his lips turning into a sinister smile.

„Then I will just go on! Keep you from executing that plan of yours for eternity if I must! I don´t care." she cried, her voice full of spite.

Turning swiftly she lunged at the seeress´guardian once more, just to see him vanish in a swirl of Chaos, the second her blade came into range of his body.

„Pointless. The time measured by Etro will cease to exist." the guardian´s merciless voice rang off the walls of the nearby buildings, as suddenly she spied him on the other side of the beach.

„All potential possibilities will collapse. Time will end, and the future will fade."

She charged at him again at full speed, just to see him fade into black mist once more, the second she reached him.

And suddenly there was silence.

Suddenly he was gone.

Her heart hammering against her ribcage, andrenaline flooding her body once more as every cell of her body was on high alert, her eyes darted around the area in the futile attempt to locate her target again.

„No matter what you do, you cannot prevent the inevitable from happening." hearing his voice ring out from behind her, she turned around to fire away at him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

„Why do you keep trying?" There, his voice again.

Sounding as if close to her.

As if near her.

As if inside her very head...

„Things that shall happen in your future have already been decided, in my own past."

„I know how it begins and how it ends."

Spinning around, her eyes panickingly scanning the surroundings for the purple haired man, willing to tear the world apart for the sake of a single little girl. Her hands shaking terribly, she fought to keep a steady grip on Blaz Edge´s hilt as oblivious to the guardian´s presence right behind her, she continued to search the abandoned beach for the man in question.

„Here in Valhalla, the Chaos is my ally." Hearing his voice behind her, in close proximity, sent icy shivers down her spine, made her limbs turn numb, as slowly turing around she faced him again.

„Now let us decide the true history."

His words were followed by a brutal attack, more violent than any she remembered him using against her ever before.

It hit her out of the blue, his raw power more than she could ever dream to take, knocking Blaze Edge right out of her hand and hitting her square in her already injured chest.

Clutching her blazing ribs with both of her now free hands, Etro´s knight staggered backwards. Her oponent´s next blow aimed at her midsection, it went trough her armour easily and she could only watch in horror as the blade slashed her skin and cut her insides.

Feeling the sword thrust deeper, Lightning´s eyes shot up to see the guardian´s satisfied smirk sprinkled with her own blood, watched his lips twist upwards as he saw her eyes widen, as he heard her cry in agony.

Forcing the blade further into her abdomen the man she had been fighting for centuries pushed upwards, to have her strangled cry turn into a bloodcurdling scream.

The intensity of the pain blinding her, paralysing her, the pink haired warrior didn´t even feel her knees hit the sandy shore, as swiftly pulling back his sword, the purple haired man released her body to tumble to the ground.

A well aimed punch in her face and she kissed the course dark sand of the cursed shores of Valhalla, the blood gushing out of her body seeping into it, turning it even darker, the thirsty ground soaked it up greedily.

And she knew it was over.

There was no way she could possibly survive this.

There was no way she could possibly beat him like this.

Forcing shallow, ragged breaths into her aching lungs, her limbs shaking uncontrollably, Lightning forced her body to move, to get to her feet again, but no matter how hard she tried her legs wouldn´t obey, wouldn´t move anymore.

There was so much blood.

Her blood.

She couldn´t believe it.

She couldn´t believe this was happening.

This was all wrong.

It wasn´t supposed to happen like this.

She had seen it!

Everything was supposed to turn out alright!

But this...

This wasn´t...

Her hopeless musing were cut short though, as she sensed the shadow of her enemy approach her once again. And she was on her belly, trying to drag herself away with her arms, desperate to get away from him, her fingers clawing at the wet, sagging sand.

The man who had been her enemy for such a long time, he reached her with only a few wide strides.

Towering above her, he brutally kicked her flat to the ground again, making her groan in agony, crushing her injured body with one of his fur trimmed boots, the skin of her cheek cut open on the rough surface of the timeless realm´s rocky beaches.

And it was when she started praying for it to end, for him to have pity and just put her out of her misery, that the guardian crouched down right next to her and grabbing a fistful of her silky pinkinsh hair, he yanked her head backwards, brutally forcing her to look up into Valhalla´s desolated skies, where seemingly hours ago (or was it only moments? She couldn´t tell. Time had no meaning in this place.) she had seen herself win.

Where she had seen herself succeed.

Where now suddenly before her very eyes, the pictures displayed in the clouds, the pictures she knew so well, were blurring, fading.

And it was her nemesis´ voice, his cruel, merciless voice, that made her whole body turn cold, that made her whole body turn numb in shock, in horror, as she watched the future she had been misled to believe in, change before her very eyes, making all the hopes, the resolve, the determination she had held on to, dissipate into thin air.

„Now watch, warrior godess..." the guardian whispered into her ear, making her shiver as she felt his breath against her skin.

„With those last breaths of yours... I want you to watch unfold the real future."

* * *

 **Shores of Valhalla, Final battle.**

„Lightning is dead, I killed her with my own hands." Caius Ballad said, looking up into his dark, ancient features, Noel knew it was true.

He had killed her.

There was no doubt to it.

„Will you allow me to go unpunished?"

„You´re the only one who can end this eternal torment."

The guardian´s voice was steady, serious.

What was Caius playing at?

What should he do?

Noel didn´t know.

Should he kill Caius?

Kill him and end all of this? Or...

What Caius had done might warrant his death.

Still.

Noel didn´t want to be the one to do it.

He didn´t know whether he had it in him to kill Caius, his former mentor, the man who had raised him, whome he had trusted for all his life.

„He´s lying!" he heard Serah´s voice pipe up from somewhere behind him.

Was he?

Lightning had sent them to finish Caius. Because she couldn´t do it herself. Right?

Why couldn´t she do it?

Was it because she was already dead?

Had Caius really killed her?

„In Valhalla time does not flow as it should." the guardian explained, as if reading the hunter´s mind.

„Long before we began our battle here, I had already faced her. Now she sleeps, never to wake."

No it couldn´t be. Serah´s heart plummeted.

Lightning couldn´t be dead.

Those were just lies... Lies Caius told to provoke her companion.

They had to be!

„I am not going to kill you." Noel said, his voice was thick, but his eyes were determined.

Noel´s denial of his own fate only made the guardian snort.

Of course Noel would defy his destiny.

How courageous...

How noble...

And how utterly naive.

Yes, naive. That was what Noel was.

Nobody could escape their fate.

Noone.

Their future was already set in stone.

Had been for aeons.

Had been since the the very beginning of time itself.

„Thats right. You hate to kill anyone, don´t you?" the older man teased.

„Noel Kreiss, born at the end of days. You understand the true value of life."

The starry-eyed hunter only stared at him, unable to come up with something to say, as his mind was working hard to contemplate on what to do.

If he hadn´t come to kill Caius, what was he going to do to stop him, exactly?

„But know this... you will kill me Noel." The purple haired warrior infront of him revealed, and with a malicious glint in his eyes, he raised his massive sword once more, turning his attention to the frail looking girl, cowering next to his former student.

„Caius, NO!"

It took only a moment for the young man to realise what the guardian was about to do, and only the blink of an eye to realise what Caius was intending. He was making him choose between his former mentor and the girl he had promised Lightning to protect.

Having no time to think, the hunter hurled himself in between the two, two people he loved, and deflecting Caius´ attack with his double-bladed sword, he protectively positioned himself infront of the younger Farron.

If Caius wanted to kill her, he needed to kill him first.

„Give it up. I wont do it." Noel spat at him, his chest heaving, as he looked up into his former mentor´s eyes defiantly.

„Impressive." Caius huffed in irritation.

It didn´t matter.

This way or the other.

It would happen anyway.

And the black clad guardian didn´t even flinch, as without warning he grabbed Noel´s sword hand and forced the blade straight into his heart.

* * *

With her limbs shaking uncontrollably, every cell of her body screaming in excrutiating pain, her muscles unwilling to respond to her anymore, Lightning could do nothing but watch helplessly, as the timeline projected in the desolate skies of Valhalla changed before her very eyes and the future she had fought for all her life was slipping through her fingers, just like the sand underneath her body.

Seeing the events evolve infront of her, she instantly knew they were true.

She wouldn´t make it.

There was no way she could make it out of this alive.

But without her to stop Caius...

She felt her conscious fade, felt her life slipping away from her. Her breathing ragged, her vision clouding, it was the guardian´s vicelike grip on her hair that kept her gaze trained skywards, that made her witness every second of it, the future that was now to come.

Every. Single. Second. Of. It.

And every single one of them became a torture of it´s own, as finally the scene changed back to Serah and Noel who had just managed to land safely on the deck of Sazh´s airship, back there in Academia in 500 AF.

And her face contorted into a tortured mask, her lips were trembling with the desperate silent scream that started to built up in her throat upon seeing the events of the new history unfold.

The sight of her sister, looking up at a darkening sky.

The way her eyes lit up with the spark of realisation, like a match, then turning empty, cold and dead, as her body collapsed into Noel´s waiting arms.

Limp.

Unmoving.

Dead.

She felt the remainder of her blood run cold as she stared up at Etro´s gate, opening, releasing the Chaos from Valhalla and into the world of the living, devouring every little piece of it.

The destruction of time and space, the result of what she had done, the result of those cascading failures one after the other, that chain of events, that had lead up to this inevitable end to all things.

Where had it happened?

Where had she taken to wrong turn?

The one decision, the mistake that had made the difference between survival and death, between her future and this?

How could this have happened?

Why did Serah die?

And it was there balancing on the margins of survival, where the line between life and death blurred, where one melted into the other, that Lightning should receive her answer to her very last unvoiced question.

„The future changed." Caius Ballad said, leaning down to whisper into her ear.

„You didn´t manage to defeat me. And so it changed."

„If you change the future, you change the past."

„The effects ripple outwards, up and down the timeline."

„Choking it. Corroding it. Converting it into someting else entirely."

„The seeress is forced to see it all." he concluded, his voice thick with emotion Lightning couldn´t place.

And it was in those few short, tiny moments before her life would finally end, that Lightning suddenly understood what Caius must have felt like all this time, watching Yeul die, watching her die over and over and over again.

Watching a beloved one die, but unable to do anything, unable to interfere.

There, right at the brink of time, the sky above her darkening even further, she could only watch the Chaos unleashed from Valhalla, watched it warp the timeline and destroy the past, watched everything she had ever believed in, everything she had ever known, crumble, gather and condense into a single chaotic dark mass, until finally, mercifully, Caius Ballad cut her throat.

* * *

 _The last thought left to me was a question._

 _Would my endless prayer ever reach you?_

 _Serah..._

 _Can I ever make things right?_

* * *

So finally, first chap! I know it´s a bit long - I just wanted to get this over with in one chapter, as seriously I hated to write this. It´s so depressing and cruel.

However don´t worry: next chap is waiting for you already.

Tell me what you think about this! Like it, hate it, suggestions?

* * *

Quotes taken from FFXIII-2 and LR + there´s also a small line from the beginning of Eminem´s Loose Yourself AND as I´m sure everyone realised that tiny but famous Sephiroth quote taken from Advent Children.

* * *

 **THANK YOU FOR READING, AND PLEASE ENJOY!**


	3. Chapter II: The Void Beyond

(Noel´s Theme Lala version - FFXIII-2 OST )

 **CHAPTER II: THE VOID BEYOND**

 _That time was lost, yet time continued onward._

 _Life and death lost all meaning under the rolling waves of chaos._

 _Caught up in the void beyond,_

 _An eternal realm,_

 _Awash with sadness._

 _There I was,_

 _Floating,_

 _Lost in time and lost in space - and meaning._

* * *

She couldn´t remember the pain.

Although she knew exactly what had happened there at the timeless shores of Valhalla, although she remembered everything she had seen, had every single detail of what had happened to the future, to Serah, to the world, carved into her heart, although she had every tiny piece of information she had received memorized inside her head, every picture etched into the retina of her inner eye, although she knew exactly that Caius Ballad had defeated her, had killed her, she didn´t remember how it had felt to have her throat cut, how it felt to die.

No.

All the memories of any pain she had ever felt were suddenly insignificant and small, completely overshadowed and rendered utterly meaningless in light of the cruel truth that had been revealed before her very eyes, in those last moments, before she took her final breath.

The injuries she had received in that fight, her final battle, were suddenly inane, laughable, compared to the anguish, the excrutiating torment she would have to endure from that very moment she had died until the end of all eternity.

She had failed.

Caius had won.

And the world...

The future...

Serah...

She had lost Serah.

 _Oh Serah..._

How could all of this have happened?!

„I´m sorry... I´M SO SORRY!"

She wanted to trash out.

To shout.

To scream.

But no matter how hard she tried, no sound would leave her throat.

There was only silence.

Complete absence of sound.

And she started to cry.

Started to cry badly.

But no amount of tears could ever make up for what had happened, no amount of tears could ever reverse the timeline, could rewind the fatal turn of events that had taken their course.

Barely able to make out her surroundings, blinded by the pain, by the agony, inside the core of her very being, deaf from the screams of thousands of souls whose future she had failed to protect, crying for salvation, pressing unto her eardrums, she floated, ventured further into the darkness, allowed herself to give in to the nothingness that surrounded her like a thick veil.

And then.

Out of the emptiness.

Out of the nothingness.

There came those flashes.

Blurs.

Voices.

Distant and strangely distorted.

Murmurs.

Words.

Words she couldn´t make out at first.

Couldn´t understand.

Until finally there was one voice.

One familiar voice.

Standing out among the others.

„Don´t be sorry." it said.

And suddenly she was there, floating right in front of her.

Her sister.

Her little sister.

Serah.

Whole and alive and safe.

And smiling.

Smiling at her.

Happy.

As if nothing had ever happened.

„And forget your tears... You don´t need them." she said, her eyes twinkling down at the woman that had become the knight bestowed with the honour of protecting the Goddess Etro.

Serah looked so real...

So alive...

And yet she couldn´t be.

Lightning had seen her die, hadn´t she?

 _Was this real?_

 _Was this a dream?_

„No matter what future is waiting for us, I´ll have no regrets. No matter what end we see coming, I won´t change my mind." the young girl assured.

Her words were kind and warm.

Her eyes full of love.

Love and compassion and understanding.

Etro´s fallen champion, she could hardly bear to look at her.

„You knew... You knew what would happen. Didn´t you, sis?" the pink haired warrior tried tentatively, her trembling lips barely able to form the words, as she looked up at the girl in front of her.

But her little sister, she didn´t even seem to hear.

„You taught me how to live my life... That no matter what, we shouldn´t give up hope." the girl with the pony tail said, instead of responding to her older sister´s words.

Her eyes twinkling mysteriously, she gave an encouraging nod.

Then suddenly before Lightning´s very eyes, Serah Farron started to fade.

Black flames of Chaos licking at her small form, the edges of her image started to blurr.

The colours of her clothes, her hair, her skin slowly dimming, the contours of her tiny frame slowly melted away.

Melted into Chaos.

„SERAH!"

Reaching out with both her hands, the woman in the shiny armour desperately tried to grasp the fading girl, tried to get a hold of her. But her leather-gloved hands, they just went right through her. Grabbing nothing but thin air.

The vanishing girl with the heart shaped face and the kind blue eyes, she just gave her one of her knowing smiles.

„No Serah, don´t leave me!" The warrior cried, her voice defeated, desperate, as with her hands uselessly hanging at her sides, she just stared up at the ghostly image of her beloved sister, the Chaos eating away at it.

„I believe in you. You´ll keep the future of this world safe. So it´s okay. I don´t mind if I´m gone." The younger girl assured her.

She didn´t stop smiling.

A sincere smile that reached her eyes and lit up her face.

It was that smile that drove a kife into the warrior´s heart.

It were those words that kept twisting it.

„No Serah! I didn´t! I´m sorry! I couldn´t! I´m so sorry..."

„I couldn´t save it..."

„I couldn´t save the future."

„I couldn´t save you..." the Goddess blessed soldier cried, helplessly watching the Chaos take her sister away.

Engulf her.

Consume her.

Devour her.

Until finally there was nothing left of her but thin white mist.

„I have no regrets. None at all. I chose to start my journey because I wanted to see you again, but there was a reason I decided to keep going. It was a promise I had made to myself." the young girl´s voice echoed in the emptiness.

"It´s okay Lightning."

No it was not okay.

Nothing was ever going to be okay ever again.

„Just... Don´t forget me."

"When Cocoon fell and you seemed to just dissapear, everyone was so sure. They said you were gone, that you were dead. But not me. I just knew, I knew that you were alive somewhere and I would find you eventually." Serah told her.

„I never gave up hope and now here we are."

No...

Not Serah...

„Just keep me in your thoughts. Remember me, and we´ll see each other again."

 _The Chaos_.

She couldn´t let it take Serah.

She had to save her...

There had to be a way!

 _SERAH!_

„No matter what happens to me, even if I vanish from this world... Promise me Lightning..." the younger girl pleaded, pleaded with everything she had.

„Promise you´ll remember me."

Then suddenly she was gone.

The one person that meant the world to her, that she had sworn to protect, but could not...

The girl whose memory had kept her alive, had kept her going for so long...

She was gone.

Was lost forever.

„I promise... I PROMISE!" The fallen warrior screamed.

Screamed at the top of her lungs.

Screamed until her throat was sore.

Screamed until her voice would fail her.

 _Serah..._

„SERAH!"

But her sister´s soul was gone.

Lost.

Never to return.

Leaving her in darkness.

In complete emptiness.

In complete lonelyness.

And then.

When she already thought she couldn´t bear it any longer.

The pain.

The guilt.

The regret.

Suddenly from within a whirl of Chaos, the blurry image of another person materialized in front of her.

The delicate form of a petite, young girl, with long dark blue hair, and big green eyes appeared.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul.

The seeress.

The Chaos took her form.

And it was talking to her.

Teasing her.

Taunting her.

Torturing her.

„Give her back to me!" The pink haired warrior roared.

It was an order.

 _Serah!_

She needed to get her back!

She needed to get her sister back!

„Let my sister go!" she yelled at the illusion of the seeress right in front of her.

The tiny blue haired spectre, it only smiled at her.

„By what right do you demand her release?" the girl in the pleated skirt asked, her voice calm.

Ancient.

Wise beyond her years.

„Serah´s death is your doing."

 _What?_

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t understand.

„At your bidding she began her journey and thus her life was lost." Yeul explained, her green eyes dull and emotionless.

„It was you. You are to blame for this doom."

„No... please..." the pink haired woman started.

It couldn´t, It just couldn´t be.

Or could it?

Yes.

It was true...

She could see it now.

Could see it too.

See it as plain as day.

Yes.

She was the one to blame.

For Serah´s death.

For the unleashing of the Chaos.

For the end of the world.

For everything.

It was her fault.

She had failed.

She had failed and it was her who had dragged Serah into it.

Into this whole mess.

It was her fault.

Her´s alone.

That Serah had died.

That the future had changed.

 _She had failed..._

„Give her back. I won´t let you have her!" The former champion cried, lunging forward at the girl, the seeress.

To grab her.

To seize her.

To shake her.

To rip her to pieces.

But it was no use.

Just like with Serah, her hands went right through Yeul´s form, right through the Chaos, coming up empty.

„Your sister... she is the same as us." the girl revealed.

„And so she is with us. Always with us."

„No... Please..." The once proud warrior´s legs giving way under the weight of her body, she let herself fall to her knees, where she begged, begged the Chaos to return her little sister.

„Please give her back to me..."

„Until time is destroyed she will sleep with us. When the world ends, she will end with us." Yeul´s voice echoed in the endless realms of emptiness.

„Let her go!"

It didn´t sound like an order, like a threat anymore, but more like a desperate plea.

„Please let her go..." Etro´s knight implored, hanging her head defeatedly, her arms uselessly dangling at her sides.

„She will melt into darkness. As we all will." the seeres said, taking a step towards Lightning´s crouching form.

Looking down at herself, the Goddess´ warrior saw the black flames of Chaos, beginning to take her as well.

It didn´t hurt.

In fact she couldn´t even feel it.

Couldn´t feel at all.

Shaking her head in disbelieve, the pink haired warrior slowly made to look up at the seeress again.

„Yes, you will share her fate." the young girl confirmed her thoughts.

Yeul was right.

She would.

Would indeed.

Then suddenly the seeress started to laugh.

An eerie, sinister laugh, turning into an evil, maniacal cackle.

A bloodcurdling sound.

It followed the warrior.

Haunted her.

Tortured her.

Until finally, she found herself swallowed by the Chaos as well.

Leaving nothing behind but darkness.

* * *

She rememberd her vision spinning.

Then blurring.

Then fading.

Dissolving into nothingness.

And that was all there´d ever be for her.

Nothing.

The world around her closing in on her, the weight of the entire timeline collapsing onto her, burrying her.

Smothering her.

Crushing her.

Leaving her caught in a limbo for what would feel like forever.

There was no time to measure the duration of her stay.

The concept of time loosing all meaning in this place of eternal suffering.

And in that antithesis of space and time, of where and when, far away from all rational thoughts and concepts, in a place underlying laws far beyond the comprehension of a human being, in that personal hell of her´s, it was that finally, Etro´s fallen warrior had to atone for her sins.

It had been her.

Her all the time.

She had killed Serah.

She had failed to save the world.

She had thought that in the end everything would be set alright, but she had been deluded.

Of course the future she had seen, she had thought was going to come true, had only been one of millions of possible futures.

And it had been a future in which she had succeded, in which she had managed to defeat Caius Ballad.

But in the end she hadn´t.

She had been week.

In the end she couldn´t save anybody.

She hadn´t been strong enought to stop Caius.

And she had sent Serah on this journey.

She had sent her to her death.

There in Valhalla, about to take her final breaths, the real timeline had been unveiled right before her very eyes.

She had gazed throught the eyes of Etro and had witnessed the events of those next ages.

It had been a waking nightmare.

Lives beyond counting, swalloed by the Chaos and vanishing into the void.

Pictures she couldn´t forget.

Couldn´t ignore.

They kept popping up in her head.

No matter how hard she tried to forget.

The sorrows of the dead, they were her´s to bear.

There would be no atonement.

What she had done...

Her deeds.

Her sins.

They were beyond atonement.

And the comprehension of that fact was breaking her.

Ripping her heart and crushing it into a thousand pieces.

Over and over and over again.

A terribly agonizing cycle of neverending torture, lasting for all eternity.

From her place in the void the fallen knight could see thousands of timelines.

Thousands upon thousands of them.

Billions of worlds giving birth to infinite possibilities.

Among some of those she could still see that future.

That happy future she had seen from Valhalla.

The one she had pursued.

The one in which she had succeeded.

The one where everything was set alright.

But that was all it had ever been...

A possibility.

Nothing more.

Perhaps, in some strange kind of alternate universe, that future she had seen there at the Goddess´balcony would still come true.

Maybe in some foreign parallel universe, she and Serah and all the others were sitting together right now at the sandy shores of New Bodhum, happily reminiscing about a hazy past, all their worries long forgotten.

But this was a universe beyond her reach.

It was a universe she wasn´t in, wasn´t part of.

And would never be.

The warrior of Etro, she was chained down by pasts sins, unable to move forward into the future.

For her there was nothing.

There was no hope.

No atonement.

And certainly no absolution.

* * *

 _The gods´ tales are woven into crystal._

 _The tale of Bhunivelze, the slumbering god bearing witness to an eternal dream._

 _The tale of Etro, the godess drowning in a sea of Chaos._

 _Etro bestowed upon humans a gift._

 _Though unseen, that gift, it lies within all of us._

 _It is a constant turmoil of light and darkness, strenght and frailty, beauty and unsightliness._

 _That gift is our spirit._

 _It gives us the strenght we need to perservere in hardships._

 _But at times it is nothing but a curse, straying beyond our control,_

 _Causing us pain and sorrow._

 _Even so,_

 _it is something far too precious to loose._

 _It is what allows us to hold hope for the future._

* * *

In a world consumed by Chaos, in a world where spirits were fading, Etro´s fallen warrior asked herself: Had she the strenght to embrace her gift?

For now she slept, her dreams everlasting.

And it was there, in that place beyond space and time, beyond sense and meaning, that patiently she waited.

Waited for the end of all eternity.

And the day she´d awaken once again.

* * *

She would never forget.

She had promised Serah that much.

Serah had told her never to give up.

To keep going and to not loose hope.

 _Serah._

Her little sister.

It was the thought of her that gave Etro´s fallen champion the strenght to preserve the minuscule spark of hope that she had left inside of her.

Only for Serah´s sake, Lightning held on to it.

Until then.

After enduring infinite torments.

From the pressing darkness of enternity.

There came a light.

A blinding white light.

And pain.

So much pain.

And then, after seemingly endless amounts of time spent in the total deprivations of oblivion, the warrior Goddess finally woke up.

Woke up to a breath of wonderful fresh air.

Her first breath in centuries, aeons, it burned her lungs, it stung in her throat.

It tastet like flowers and herbs and earth.

Like a freshly cut lawn.

Feeling the hard ground and soft moist grass underneath her body, hearing the sounds of chirping birds and crickets, a soft breeze rustling through the leaves of some nearby trees, and finding the warm rays of the summer sun gently soothing her skin, the warrior´s eyes opened to a bright sunny sky.

After spending so much time of her existence in darkness, in oblivion, the flood of feelings, of impressions, was overwhelming, nearly impossible to cope with, her brain momentarily unable to process the information overflow so mercilessly attacking her senses.

She couldn´t believe it.

Where was she?

Was this heaven?

Was she finally granted permission to die, to find peace and salvation?

Had she finally atoned for her sins?

Did the gods show mercy on her?

She didn´t know.

Staying exactly where she was, completely motionless, not daring to move at all, with her eyes closed she focused on the sensation of breathing, the wonderful feeling of having something above her, something beneath her, something surrounding her, something else than darkness, than pressing emptiness, as she waited for her body and mind to adjust to her new surroundings.

But her joy, her relief, it didn´t last long as after only seconds spent in bliss, in paradise, she felt something seize her.

Something tear at her.

Something sharp pierce her skin and rip her flesh.

Something brutally dragging her straight back to where she had come from.

Back to where surely she belonged to.

Straight back to hell.

Her eyes shooting open in shock, the pink haired warrior looked up right in time to realise that she wasn´t captured by some evil force intending to lock her back into that personal prison of hers, but that she was in fact attacked by a pack of feral beasts, their claws and teeth hungrily tearing at her flesh, pulling at her arms and legs, as if trying to rip her apart.

Having no strength to throw them off, to defend herself, or move at all really, she just lay there, her eyes shut tightly, embracing her fate.

Wishing for it to finally end.

To end quickly.

And to be over.

Be over after all.

The pain of chunks of flesh being ripped from her limbs, she didn´t even feel it.

Didn´t register it.

It wasn´t important.

Not anymore.

Feeling the weight of one of the beasts on her chest, it´s talons piercing the bruised skin of her torso as it made to crawl on top of her, she heard it growl, heard it draw deep excited breaths, sensed it bare it´s fangs at her, ready to sink them into her throat, ready to end this.

And she was thankful.

So infinitely thankful.

That maybe, finally, this would all be over.

Yes.

She had accepted her death long ago.

Had been waiting for it to come.

To release her from her torment for a long time now.

And now that it finally came, she welcomed it.

Welcomed it with open arms.

And it was then.

Lying there.

Feeling the beast´s saliva dripping onto her neck.

Feeling it´s hot breath puff against her skin.

That finally, after all this time spent in anguish and torment, she felt calm.

Felt balanced and at peace.

Felt ready to leave this world and become one with the infinite dephts of the unknown world that lay beyond every form of existence.

But the anticipated attack, it never came.

Instead, the beast on top of her merely gave some strange gurgling sound.

It´s breathing hitched, then stopped completely, before finally she felt the creature´s weight drop onto her chest.

Liveless.

The biting and scratching and tearing at her legs and arms and sides suddenly stopped and a few seconds later she felt the weight of the animal shifted from her body.

Blinking through her lashes, her eyes unadjusted to the brightness of the sunlight, barely able to make out her suroundings, her vision swimming in and out of focus, the fallen warrior sensed another presence over her.

A dark shadow ridding her of the animal´s carcass, there was the wooden shaft of a hunting spear protuding from the back of the dead monster´s head.

The remainder of the pack appearantly taken flight upon witnessing their comrade´s cruel fate, it seemed hat the warrior´s life had been spared once more.

The figure approaching and crouching down next to her, Etro´s fallen champion felt the soothing touch of a set of warm fingers cupping her cheek, then travelling down to her neck to check her pulse, then gently nudging her arm.

And there was a voice.

A voice talking to her as if from far away...

„Hey you... Can you hear me?"

That voice...

It was sounding strangely familiar.

Although she knew she had somewhere heard it before, had heard it plenty of times in fact, she just couldn´t place it.

And eventhough she wanted, wanted to so badly, she couldn´t find the strenght to respond.

To do anything at all really.

Then suddenly the talking stopped.

And she already feared the person had left her again.

Only to, a few moments later, suddenly and without warning, feel a pair of strong arms sneak under her back and legs.

To find her body lifted from the ground.

To feel the muscles of a lean male chest press against her side.

And it was right there on the verge of fainting, that the light of the sun was dimmed by a passing cloud, allowing the features of her saviour to come into focus for the very first time.

Those features...

She knew them all too well.

Her brain trying hard to process the information received through her eyes, as slowly she managed to put together the pieces, her heart skipped a beat, when finally realisation hit her.

From all the people she had prayed to see...

In her time spent in the void beyond she had prayed for company.

Anybody.

Just anybody.

No matter who.

So she wouldn´t feel so empty anymore.

So she wouldn´t feel so lonely anymore.

And then.

Out of nowhere.

Her wish had been granted.

And it came back to her like a boomerang, hitting her straight in the face.

From all the people in the world, the one who was sent to accompany her had to be him.

Why him of all people?

On the verge of passing out again, the fallen warrior´s lips were moving on their own.

Trembling.

Weak.

Barely able to form the syllabies.

They came out forced, soft and faint.

In the end she wasn´t even sure whether any sound came out at all.

„Caius..."

Oh, the gods must really hate her.

* * *

 _And in this world of shattered moments, I begin my life anew._

* * *

Again lots of stuff taken from FFXIII-2 and LR (obviously) and some of it rearranged and altered to fit my needs.

Extra credits for those who find the hidden Rocky-Horror Show quote. (although only minuscule - it´s there ;) )

I really hope you enjoyed this one, I put a lot of effort into those first two chapters to give you a taste of what this story is going to be like.

(Please note I´m not native english - but always open for language tips)

* * *

 **Thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter III: A Past Forgotten

(Yeul´s theme Lala Version - FFXIII-2 OST)

 **CHAPTER III: A PAST FORGOTTEN**

 _No tree,_

 _it is said,_

 _can grow to heaven_

 _unless it´s roots_

 _reach down to hell._

\- C.G. Jung

* * *

 **Archylte Steppe, Year Unknown**

Caius Ballad was sitting on a tree stump outside one of the smaller huts not far from the village´s main building, pensively gazing at the yellowed pattern on the back of the battered playing cards, fanned out in the well trained hand of the elderly man seated opposite him on a half rotten wooden box.

The old man´s hoary beard reaching down to touch his chest, his elbows resting on the cold surface of the medium sized boulder that made their table, Caius watched one of his hands come up to absentmindedly trace his partially concealed chin, as he pondered on what to .

Looking up to study his opponent´s features, the younger man just sat there, waiting patiently for his senior to make his next move.

It was a sweltering summer afternoon, the air humid from the rainy night and not a single cloud was to be seen in the clear blue skies above. With the temperatures high this time of the year, the purple haired man was glad to have finished his duties early, so he could spend the less bearable hours of the day off to relax, glad to be able to spend the afternoon in the cool shades of the nearby trees instead out on the plains, hunting for game that wasn´t likely to show up in the opressive heat of the summer sun anyway.

He watched the old man play a pair of jacks with a chuckle, then continued selecting two of his own cards and placing them in the middle of their make-shift table, his choice earning a satisfied hum from the balding individual in front of him.

„I knew you´d do that..." the other said, acknowledging Caius´ move with a nod.

„Let´s see how well you take these..." the bearded male then added challengingly, putting down another pair of his after drawing a card from the stack waiting to his right.

Not sure of what to make of his opponent´s move, the younger man contemplated his options. His eyes scanning his hand for possible combinations, trying to come up with a new strategy, Caius Ballad had a hard time concentrating on the task at hand.

While his eyes stayed fixed on the cards in front of him, his thoughts kept drifting back to the strange woman with the pinkish hair he had found while scouring the woods for supplies a few days ago.

That same woman, whome after finding and only narrowly saving from impending doom, he had carried all the way back to the village to leave under his sister´s care.

That woman...

He couldn´t stop thinking about her.

No matter where he went, no matter what he did, her image kept popping up in his thoughts, making it impossible for him to probably focus on his work, or even as it seemed, a game of cards.

That woman...

She had been terribly injured.

She had in fact barely escaped death.

Or maybe she hadn´t.

It was hard to tell.

She hadn´t woken up yet.

Maybe she wouldn´t even make it.

That woman...

He couldn´t fathom where she had come from.

There weren´t any settlements around for miles and her clothes, her hair, her skin...

She certainly didn´t look like she had come from any tribe he´d ever heard of.

And that wasn´t even the strangest part.

No.

When he had found her out there in the woods adjoining the Steppe - and that was probably what was weirdest about the whole thing - he hadn´t encountered her for the first time.

They had met before, hadn´t they?

But no.

It couldn´t be.

Surely he would remember.

Forgetting about meeting somebody who looked so exotic, so frankly out of place in this part of the world as she did was simply an impossible feat.

But still...

Even tough she looked so foreign, so different, something about her seemed strangely familiar, as if he had known her for a very long time. And although he knew it sounded crazy - because it did, even to him - Caius Ballad couldn´t shake off the feeling that he had met her before.

„So..." the man across the table prompted impatiently, making his vis-à-vis snap out of his musings.

„Ready to admit defeat yet?" the elderly man teased, a triumphant smile making it´s way onto his aged features, wrinkling the papery skin of his cheeks and beneath his eyes, his chest moving with the low rumble that was his laughter.

The younger man was about to conter with a snide retort, when suddenly there was the sound of shattering pottery, closely followed by a series of thuds and a faint yelp of pain, coming from one of the huts set up a little further down the path, a little secluded from the others.

The old man´s eyebrows riding up his wrinkled forhead in surprise, Caius Ballad was on his feet in no time.

That voice, he knew it well.

It was his sister´s voice.

It was coming from the little shack she lived in, that cabin where he knew she also kept her current patient.

And it could only mean one thing.

Tossing the cards on the table in front of him, revealing three of a kind, the purple haired man strode off towards his sister´s hut to investigate the cause of the commotion.

What the hell was going on in there?

A stifled cry of pain reaching his ears mid-way down the path, Caius Ballad broke into a run. His heart beating a little faster than usual, rather from anticipation than his short distance sprint, it was the second he came rushing through the door, that he found his assumptions proved correctly.

The stranger had awoken.

And she had apparently gone completely berserk.

Spotting both of the women down on the floor in a tangle of limbs, engaged in what turned out to be a ferocious fistfight, the scene revealed in front of his very eyes startling him, for a few long moments the purple haired man just stood there, frozen in the doorway, watching the two of them lashing out at each other aggressively.

It definitely was a sight to behold.

It wasn´t until the foreigner managed to roll on top of his sister, hands finding her opponent´s throat and ready to choke the life out of her enemy, that the silent spectator figured it was time for him to intervene.

Crossing the room in only a few swift paces, Caius Ballad had the troublemaker seized and pinned back to the cot she had previously occupied in no time.

Her body hitting the bunk hard, the sudden interference taking her completely off guard, it took a few seconds for the mysterious woman to realise what was going on.

Holding her down by both her arms, rendering her utterly defenseless for a moment, Caius Ballad found the pink haired female meet his gaze, heard her gasp in shock, watched her eyes go huge.

Those eyes.

Beautiful, large pale blue eyes.

Filled with fear.

And hate.

And anger.

To him they were tantalizing.

Mesmerizing.

Staring into them for just a little bit too long, the purple haired man found himself rewarded with the stranger´s knee unexpectedly coming up to land a well aimed kick at his abdomen, the impact making him grunt in pain and loosen his grip for just a second.

It was more than she had hoped for.

Seizing the opportunity to wriggle free again, the pink haired stranger started thrashing around violently, attempting to hit her opponent wherever she could.

And she almost made it.

Trying hard not to get in range of her legs again, Caius Ballad had a hard time holding on to her.

One of her hands coming free at last, the pink haired warrior promptly used it to attack the shocked man´s face, making him draw back in response. Unable to reach his eyes anymore, she chose to claw at his arms again, arms that tried to get a hold of her once more.

Desperate to get away from him, she went for every tiny spot of exposed skin she could find.

Her nails digging deep into the soft skin of the insides of his forarms, finally drawing blood, it was just a second before the pink haired stranger managed to free herself from his grasp completely, that suddenly her breathing hitched and her body went limp again.

Her fearful blue eyes closing once again, Caius Ballad sensed his older sister rising next to him, a syringe clutched tightly in her right hand, now empty.

Holding on to the stranger´s arms for a second longer, just to make sure that she was out for good, Caius risked a glance at the woman standing right beside him, looking at the foreigner in front of them with disgust.

His sister´s hands were shaking, her lips trembling, her usually kept up hair was coming loose and standing up in all directions and her face...

There were deep cuts there on her left cheek, where the pink haired woman had clawed at her skin with her bare fingers.

Looking at her dangerously narrowed eyes, the purple haired man could easily tell she was furious, was in fact seething with rage.

„What happened!?" the still startled man inquired carefully, his eyes darting around the room to take in the chaos their conflict had created.

„Nothing. I realised she was coming around and went over to check her pulse, when suddenly the bitch woke up and went fucking insane." the woman next to him retorted aggressively, checking the wound on her cheek with the fingers of her right hand.

„No reason to put her out again." the man reasoned, presenting his sister with an angry glare.

„Caius... She wasn´t ready!" the woman threw in defensifely.

Her eyes trailing to the cuts on her brother´s forearm, she reached over to take a closer look at them, but he pulled away instantly.

Of course he wouldn´t let her.

He could be so pigheaded sometimes.

„She just completely panicked and her injuries aren´t even healed yet. She would have only gotten herself hurt even worse. And us..." she added, throwing the purple haired man a pleading look, the worst of her anger ebbing away the second she sensed her brother´s disappointment.

Caius Ballad just shook his head in irritation.

Of course his sister was right.

But...

Turning his attention back to the mysterious woman now lying on the cot in front of him unconscious, he leaned down to put the buffalo hide that had slipped to the ground back up to cover her sleeping form. Making sure her pulse was there and steady and that she was breathing alright, he moved over to look at her face again.

Extending a hand to brush a few strands of stray pink hair out of her face, his fingers lingered at her rosy cheek.

„What happened to you?"

Tracing her jawline with his index finger, he couldn´t help but wonder.

There it was again.

That feeling that he had met her before.

Yes.

He definitely had.

He was sure of it.

And suddenly he knew exactly where.

It had been in one of his dreams.

One of those recurring dreams that had been haunting him for months, that would wake him with his clothes drenched in sweat in the middle of the night.

One of those dreams where he would be engaged in fierce battle with that woman, that very woman now lying here in front of him.

One of those dreams that felt so terribly real, that were so vivid, that they could easily be mistaken for reality.

And now suddenly she was here. Right here with him...

He knew it sounded crazy.

He knew it was ridiculous.

But still, it was the truth.

There was no doubt to it.

And there was more.

The strange woman with the pinkish hair, she knew him too.

He had seen the recognition in her eyes, had seen the way her pupils had dilated in shock the second she had laid eyes on him...

Seeing him obviously hadn´t been a pleasant surprise.

That much was for sure.

But how was something like that even possible?

His nightmares...

He knew those weren´t ordinary dreams.

Could it be that his dreams were somehow showing him the future?

They had shown him this woman after all.

What were they then?

Visions?

Preposterous.

Even the thought of it made him shake his head.

Caius Ballad didn´t believe in superstition, let alone visions, still, no other word came to his mind that could possibly describe what he had experienced.

Those visions, had she seen them too?

Was that why she had looked so scared, downright afraid of him?

If what he had witnessed in his dreams was actually going to come true, that would make them mortal enemies. Wouldn´t it?

Letting his gaze trail over the stranger´s features, Caius Ballad realised that although she looked so out of place, her pink hair and fair skin making her stand out in stark contrast to all the people he had ever encountered around all over Gran Pulse, he couldn´t deny that she was beautiful.

Beautiful in her own way.

He couldn´t pin it, but something about this woman was different, was special.

Something reaching far beyond her looks.

It was a shame his sister had to put her out again. He had been dying to talk to her, to find out more about her, to find out who she was and where she came from, hoping to bring a bit of light to the shadows of his confusing thoughts.

And even more than that, he wanted to get to know her, wanted to get to know the mysterious woman that had stepped right out of his dreams and into his life without any warning whatsoever.

What would she be like?

What would she have to say?

There were so many questions he wanted to get answered, and now that she had finally woken up, his sister had to put her out again. It really was rather irksome, to say the least.

Holding a compress to her bleeding cheek, the other woman watched her brother study the newcomer from the corner of her eyes. Her rage slowly dissipating at seeing the way her younger sibling was looking at her newest patient, with interest, with care, she couldn´t help but wonder who that mysterious stranger was either.

When Caius had suddenly arrived with her a few days ago, her clothes soaked with her blood and terribly injured, his older sister hadn´t dared to do much asking. Figuring her questions were less than secondary, she had started to tend to the poor girl´s wounds at once. But now that it seemed the latter was on the road to recovery, the nurse figured she could allow herself to voice at least some of her questions.

„Where did you say you met her?" the woman asked, trying to sound casual, the piece of white cloth still pressed to her cheek. It was slowly turning red.

„She didn´t exactly look happy to see you..."

Caius couldn´t help but agree.

No.

She hadn´t looked happy at all.

„Well... I guess we weren´t exactly friends then..." Caius said, his voice distanced, deeply lost in thought.

It wasn´t a lie.

In his dreams they had been fighting, ferociously so.

But why had they been fighting in the first place?

He couldn´t remember.

Tearing his eyes away from her sleeping form, the purple haired man turned his attention to the small wooden box, perched up ontop his sister´s kitchen table, holding all the things the pink haired warrior had been carrying with her.

„That´s everything she had on her... I checked all her pockets." The woman said, finally removing the compress to reveal a couple of deep scratches, that would one day make for ugly scars.

Looking over the foreign woman´s few personal belongings, rummaging through the box, the purple haired man came across a strange looking metal object sitting at the very bottom, an object he had never encountered before.

It was rather heavy for a thing it´s size he thought.

That object fitting his hand perfectly, Caius Ballad let the fingers of his left hand trace the polished barrel of a loaded six-shooter, smooth and cool under his touch.

The pink haired woman must have carried it as a weapon.

But this certainly was no weapon he had ever heard of.

Unsure of what it did, he put the unfamiliar thing aside. If it really was some kind of weapon he wouldn´t want to accidentally set it off in there.

His sister didn´t seem to care.

Watching her reflectiong in the nearby mirror, taking in the damage her face had taken from the fight, it took her all she had to keep up her composure, to refrain from just walking over to that damn cot and strangle that unthankful bitch she had been nursing for days now, for attacking her like that, for fighting her like that, for decorating her cheek with that awful souvenir, to give her what would surely turn into a nasty scar, a reminder of their encounter she would most likely carry for the rest of her life.

It wasn´t the first scar she had received, no way, but it was the first to blemish her face and the thought of it bothered her, bothered her a lot.

Yes.

She´d simply love to choke the last breath out of the pitiful girl, just like the foreigner had intended to do on her, but she resisted the urge to end that worthless life of her´s none the less.

Having seen the way her brother looked at her, she could easily tell that for some strange reason he cared for the mysterious woman with the pinkish hair.

Caius Ballad caring for a woman, it wasn´t something that happened everyday.

It really wasn´t.

But still.

For some reason this girl was special to him and even if little else, she at least did respect her brother´s feelings.

* * *

 _Life is a reddish sparkle in the darkness and silent ocean of eternity._

 _It is the only moment that belongs to us._

\- Ivan Turgenev

* * *

It took another two days for the mysterious stranger to wake up again.

And this time Caius Ballad was ready.

He had spent most of the past day´s free time in hearing range of his sister´s hut, so he would be there when the time arrived and finally his patience had been rewarded. His older sibling had fetched him the second her newest patient had begun to stirr, afraid for the recent events to repeat themselves, and so the purple haired man had spent the upcoming half an hour next to the uncomfortable looking cot, waiting for the pink haired woman to come around.

And it was there right under Caius Ballad´s watchful gaze, in a foreign place, in a foreign time, far away from everything she had ever called home, that Etro´s knight awoke once more.

Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the daylight flooding the room through the scarcely curtained windows, it took some time for the Goddess´ fallen warrior to adapt to her new surroundings.

After spending such a long time in oblivion, this place, whatever it was, all the sensations, all the perceptions, they overwhelmed her senses all over again. Fighting to get herself together, the older of the Farron sisters just lay there, her eyes closed, concentrating on her breathing, as her brain frantically filtered through all the information it received, trying to asses what was important and what wasn´t, trying to make sense of the masses of input so unexpectedly thrown at it.

Those unfamiliar scents, a mixture of desinfectant and herbs and rotten wood...

The pleasant feeling of something soft under her body...

It almost felt like a bed...

Where was she?

How had she gotten here?

Her eyes fluttering open and disorientatedly scanning the surroundings for clues that´d hopefully answer those questions, it was the second they fell upon the curiously watching man crouching next to her, that her breathing hitched and her eyes widened in shock again.

It was him.

 _The guardian._

It took only a short time for panic to overwhelm her again, but this time Caius Ballad was ready.

Sensing the fight or flight reaction his presence triggered inside of her, acting fast, he had the stranger pinned down by her wrists again before she could even start to move.

He couldn´t risk her hurting herself. Her condition was bad enough as it was. There was no reason to have her make it worse.

She instantly thrashed and writhed against his hold, determined to struggle free with all her strenght, trying to kick him away with her legs again - securing her definitely took some effort.

„Don´t worry, you´re safe!"

His voice.

Etro´s warrior registered it somewhere at the back of her mind, but she didn´t bother to listen to his words.

There was no time for that.

She needed to get out of this.

Needed to get away from him.

And fast, before it would be too late.

Desperate to free herself, bucking up her body and trying to throw her enemy off with all her might, it was the sudden unexpected surge of pain cursing through her body, a paralyzing, stabbing pain spreading from somewhere on her left side, that made her gasp for air, made her stop dead in her movements.

Her whole body ablaze with agony, blinded by the toxic cocktail of pain and fear, the pink haired warrior faught even harder, threw herself against the guardian´s hold with everything she had, but he wouldn´t even budge and panic took her over completely the moment she realized the powers the Goddess Etro had lent her gone, leaving her just injured and weak, plainly human.

Oh, she was so done for.

With neither the powers of the Goddess nor a L´Cie, there was no chance she could take on Caius Ballad alone.

She was dead.

She was so dead.

Without her able to defend herself, he´d have her killed in a matter of seconds.

„It´s okay. Calm down. Everything´s alright. You´re safe!" It was the guardian´s voice that finally got her attention. Not the words, but the way he said them.

Gentle.

Soothing.

Taking her completely off guard.

What the -?

Stopping dead in her struggling, Lightning stared up at the man´s face in bewilderment.

„Relax... Nothing is going to happen to you."

There it was again.

Nice, calming words, spoken in a soft voice, completely devoid of the hatred, the spite, she was used to hear from him.

Did he really just say that?

What was going on?!

What was he playing at?!

Feeling her heart race away under her ribcage, every part of her body screaming at her, protesting in pain, the guardian´s unrelenting grip bruising the soft skin of her arms as he had her pinned down to her cot, it didn´t help anything to calm her down.

Looking up at the man infront of her, the man who had been trying to kill her for such a long time, Lightning waited for that derisive smirk to form, searched those dark amethyst eyes for that malicious glint she knew so well.

But she couldn´t find it there.

There was no anger, no rage or aggression in them.

Only curiosity and concern. A kind expression on his face, it looked strangely out of place on him.

What the hell was going on?!

Was this some kind of a trick. A joke?

Was he toying with her again?

Was this one of his sick games?

Having no other option anyway, realising she was just too weak and with the pain in her side killing her, Etro´s champion stopped fighting and chose to just lay still instead. Her thoughts racing to come up with a plan, contemplating on how she could possibly attack him, how she could escape him, her beautiful blue eyes darted around the room panickingly, desperately scanning the vicinity for items she could use as a means to defend hersef.

She needed a weapon.

Or at least some way of distraction, so she could buy herself some time to get out of there.

There was a hunter´s knife tugged in his belt.

Maybe she could reach it.

If she timed it right...

If she managed to surprise him...

„I wont fight you, if you don´t..." he suddenly said. Feeling his grip around her wrists loosening, the pink haired warrior stayed completely motionless, not daring to move at all, as she waited for an opportunity to attack.

She´d only get one chance at this.

„Can I release you... or will you go berserk again?" It were his words that made the pink haired woman snap out of her scheming.

She didn´t answer.

In fact she couldn´t.

Completely startled by what he had just said, she just stared at him, her mouth gaping stupidly.

Would he really do that?

Release her just like that?

She couldn´t believe it, couldn´t believe her luck.

What´s gotten into him?

The strangers cold, calculating blue eyes dangerously piercing his, sceptically looking for any hint of betrayal, the intensity of the eyecontact was making the purple haired man feel uneasy. Watching the warrior´s breathing calm, he waited for her muscles to relax somewhat, before carefully releasing her.

His eyes imploring her not to do anything stupid, Caius Ballad took a few steps backwards to give her some space, retreating as far as possible while still staying close enough to be able to intervene in case she´d choose to act foolishly again.

Forcing herself to stay on her cot, fighting hard not to lunge at the man in front of her the second he was reckless enough to release her, Etro´s warrior sighed in relief.

Feeling his hands on her skin had been terribly unnerving.

Watching every tiny detail of his movements like a hawk, from the steady rising and falling of his chest, to his slightly quickened pulse visible at his neck, all her senses on high alert, the pink haired warrior had all her muscles flexed, ready to strike should the need arise.

Carefully making to sit up on her bunk, every tiny movement hurting like hell, a soft groan escaped her slightly chapped lips and her right hand instantly shot to her side, to the spot where the pain was most intense.

What was this?

Was this some kind of dream?

Was this some alternate timeline?

Was she caught inside a paradox?

Or was this life after death?

Caius had killed her, right?

The purple haired man watched the stranger sitting on the cot in front of him with interest. Studying her pretty features, as she looked up at him warily, he knew she was waiting for him to attack her, to hurt her.

She expected him to fight her.

But he had no reason to, had he?

He didn´t even remember why they´d fight in the first place.

„Are you okay?" He asked tentatively, his eyes never leaving her pale blue ones.

She just gave him a tiny nod, then looked away, letting her eyes wander around the room, as she took in her surroundings.

„Don´t worry you´re safe..." He tried to assure her once again.

The way she was looking around desorientated, the way her eyes darted back to him every now and then to check whether he was up to something, he could tell she was scared.

Scared because of her current condition.

Scared of her new surroundings.

Scared of him.

He had felt the pulse at her wrists race under the tips of his fingers, had practically seen the adrenaline surge through her body, the moment realisation had hit her.

He could only fathom what it must feel like...

She most likely had no idea where she was, what had happened, had found herself vulnurable and injured under the grip of the man she knew her enemy.

Because yes, she knew him.

There was no doubt to it.

He had suspected it from the beginning and he had seen the prove the second she had opened her eyes.

She knew exactly who he was.

And she knew exactly what would happen between them.

That much was for sure.

And he couldn´t help but feel pity.

Pity for this woman he didn´t know, for this woman who had suddenly stumbled into his world from inside a crazy dream.

The pink haired stranger sitting on her cot, every cell of her body on defense, the man who was supposed to be her nemesis curiously facing her from a few feet away, it was the unexpected appearence of another person suddenly entering through the doorway, that made both of them jump.

„Ah... Finally... You came around?!" the woman who had just arrived acknowledged nonchalantly. Her voice was friendly, kind.

The pink haired warrior´s eyes sceptically scanning the newcomer for possible threats from head to tow, Lightning instantly spotted the resemblance.

Long, wavy purple hair adorned with feathers and tribal beads falling down to her waist, those same sharp amethyst eyes, those same handsome features, slightly more feminine. It was without doubt that those two were related.

„That´s my sister Cara..." the man she had called her enemy for aeons, now mysteriously transformed to go easy on her, introduced.

„She had been taking care of you ever since you got here."

Yes.

Looking up into those nice, friendly features she remembered.

She had come around for a short term before.

Her pale blue eyes lingering on the wounds she had inflincted on the woman´s cheek during their last encounter, Lightning felt a pang of guilt.

Although she didn´t know her, Cara had intended to help her, had meant well for her.

And that was how she had thanked her.

„I´m Caius by the way..." the purple haired man suddenly said. The stranger´s confused expression telling him she already knew that, he continued to study her features until she gave a tiny nod.

„Lightning." she offered warily when the both of them kept looking at her expectantly.

He didn´t even know her name?

What was that supposed to mean?

„Okay Lightning..." the guardian said, looking at her with kind eyes.

The good-natured expression displayed on his face was creeping her out to no end.

„I´ll leave you to Cara then... Don´t worry she´s an excellent nurse." he added, suddenly looking eager to leave.

He paused in the doorway however, to bid her good-bye.

„If you need anything... Just send for me..." he said, then he was off.

Lightning watched the door where he had just dissappeared, her nemesis, her arch-enemy, waiting for him to come back and charge at her any second.

But he didn´t.

Surely this must be some kind of a bad joke.

She had been lying there, unconcsious, helpless, injured, defenseless.

Why hadn´t he attacked, just killed her when he had had the chance?!

That so wasn´t him.

That wasn´t the Caius Ballad she once knew, the Caius Ballad she had met in Valhalla.

But...

Who was he then?!

„So mysterious woman from the woods... How are you feeling?" the woman she had forgotten was there with her in the same room asked, making her snap out of her musings.

Etro´s champion just watched in wonder as her enemy´s sister approached. Putting away the buffalo hide that had been draped over the pink haired warrior´s body like a blanket, the older woman reached foreward and without warning pushed up the white nightgoan Lightning couldn´t even remember putting on and made to take off the neatly applied bandage that covered her torso, to reveal a long but meticulously stitched gash in her left side. The surrounding skin bruised purple and green, the injured woman couldn´t help but gasp at the sight of it.

„Yes it´s an ugly wound you received there..." Cara commented.

„Caius said those Gorgonopsids where about to rip you apart. Well, seeing the wounds you received, I can assure you he wasn´t exaggerating. You were really lucky he found you in time."

Yes.

Sure.

She hadn´t forgotten.

The memory of her waking up in the woods flooding back to her, Lightning couldn´t help but recognize how the purple haired guardian had saved her from those murderous beasts.

But that couldn´t be.

Why would Caius do something like that?

Caius Ballad was her enemy, her nemesis.

He was supposed to fight her.

To kill her.

Not save her from a bunch of monsters.

What was this place?

Was she still caught in the void beyond?

Was her tortured mind playing tricks on her?

Was she going insane?

She felt the other woman pushing around at her wound, the pressure applied to the injured flesh making her groan in pain, she did the best she could not to slap the nurse´s hand away.

„Nothing I won´t manage, don´t worry." The purple haired woman assured coolly, her eyes kind and caring, before she turned away to rummage through one of the cupboards lining the walls on the opposite side of the small, cozy room.

She returned a few seconds later, bending down to apply a thick layer of cool, greenish paste all over the wound and was about to cover it with a new bandage, when Lightning´s eyes fell onto the half-healed cuts under Cara´s left eye again.

„I´m sorry by the way..." Etro´s champion said, her gaze lingering at the unpleasant trace their fight had left on the woman´s cheek.

„It´s nothing." Cara lied, unable to look into the stranger´s eyes.

„The important thing is that you´re feeling better." she said, looking up at the pink haired woman in front of her again, her voice smooth, her eyes sincere.

„I wasn´t sure you´d ever wake up."

Lightning didn´t return the gaze, but had her eyes trained on the wall instead.

„Cara..." she started, then trailed off and gave a tiny sigh.

What´s the harm?

„Thank you."

* * *

 _Apparently when we enter the earth existence,_

 _the third dimensional reality,_

 _We exist with a facade as actors_

 _playing various roles._

 _For some it is the adventure of the experience,_

 _the journey._

 _For others it is entrapment in an illusion_

 _that takes on all the qualites of reality._

\- Dolores Cannon

* * *

Caius Ballad was restless.

He was pacing the wooden porch outside the village´s main building, his eyes staring off into the distance, unseeing, as he was deeply immersed in thought.

The pink haired woman, she had been on his mind a lot since he had found her and now that she was finally awake he couldn´t think about much else.

Where had she come from?

What did she want here?

There were so many questions he was burning to ask, but he hadn´t had the opportunity to talk to her about any of this yet.

They actually hadn´t done much talking at all since she had come around.

To be honest he didn´t even dare to stay in the same room with her, afraid he´d upset her again.

He knew his presence made her nervous, he could practically taste her anxiety whenever she sensed him somewhere nearby.

No.

Tackling her with questions right now, it would only make her feel uneasy. It´d only make her wary of him even more.

And he didn´t want that.

She needed to rest, needed some peace, some privacy, some time to relax in order for her wounds to heal, for her to get accostumed to her new surroundings.

There would be plenty of time for talking once she felt better, wasn´t there?

Leaning against the wooden railing, letting his gaze roam the vastness of the land he had called his home ever since he could remember, Caius Ballad gave a frustrated sigh.

He usually didn´t care much about women, not beyond what was considered normal among common casual contacts.

But her...

There was something about the mysterious stranger that had piqued his interest.

The way she had reacted to his presence, the way she had looked at him full of spite and terror, it was unnerving.

She knew.

She undoubtedly knew about their fight, knew about him, knew more than him at least.

And although he didn´t know anything about her, where she had come from, who she was, he had instantly picked up on her resentment for him.

Yes.

She hated him.

A lot.

She really did.

He had seen it in her eyes.

Those beautiful pale blue eyes.

They were haunting him.

Whatever he did, he couldn´t get them out of his head.

What could he possibly do in the future, to make her hate him so much?

He didn´t know.

He couldnt even fathom.

Thinking about it, he wasn´t even sure he wanted to find out in the first place.

Whatever it was, it surely had to be something terrible.

But why had she come here then, landing straight at his feet?

If she knew what was going to happen, why did she choose to show up in those woods with nothing but the village he lived in around for miles?

Could that really be a coincidence?

It was almost as if she had been searching for him.

As if she had been waiting for him to find her there.

Bringing up his hands to look at his forearms, Caius Ballad let the tip of his index finger trace the dark marks of the half-healed wounds the pink haired stranger had inflicted there when trying to free herself the first time she had come around.

They were only superficial. Scrapes.

They´d be healed in no time.

It didn´t matter.

What did matter was that she was here.

And that she was alright.

He had no idea what that meant, or what her presence here would entail.

But neither did she.

It was true.

He didn´t know anything about her.

But having stared into those frightened pale blue eyes, he knew she felt just as lost as he was.

* * *

 _What to do?_

 _Have you lost your way?_

 _When that happens we each have to take a good long look at ourselves._

 _There is always something in the deepest reaches of our hearts,_

 _Something buried_

 _Or something forgotten._

 _Remember it,_

 _Because whatever that is_

 _Must certainly be what you are looking for._

\- Bugenhagen (FFVII)

* * *

Lightning was recovering fast. Under the attentive care of Cara, the woman who had nursed her back from the dead ever since she had arrived there in this strange place, she felt better and better with every passing day.

The wound on her side was healing alright and most of the less severe cuts and bruises that had adorned her skin were fading. The additional bite wounds on her legs and arms were getting better as well and she was already able to walk freely on both her legs. One of them was still affected admittedly, causing a limp to restrict her in her movements, preventing her from going anywhere really. But still, it was a progress none the less.

She´d be strolling around in no time and as soon as she was able to do so, she´d leave this strange place and find a way back home. Or so she hoped, for she wasn´t planning on staying there a second longer than necessary.

She had business to attend to, after all.

She needed to find a way to save Serah, to reverse history and save the future and most importantly, get rid of Caius Ballad as soon as possible.

She couldn´t keep sitting around and rely on things to turn out alright on their own.

To the older woman´s insistence Etro´s fallen champion had spent the past few days inside the cozy hut, doing nothing but resting and healing. She had in fact slept through most of the time, had gotten up only to take her meals or had wasted her time watching the unfamiliar world outside through the small, dirty windows.

And there wasn´t exactly much to see either.

There were trees, and fields and dry, rocky paths, the vegetation withering under the burning heat of the sun.

Yes.

The climate was hot, sweltering so.

The air was dry, as if it hadn´t rained in days.

She had no idea where she was, nor when. Because surely she was either in a complete alternate universe or somewhere in the past.

The small hut´s furniture was scarce and simple, obviously crafted from hand, the floor just tamped earth. There were no gadgets whatsoever. The only source of light where torches and candles and fires.

Yes, fires.

She had seen them burning through her bedside window at night sometimes, whenever sleep would evade her.

Wherever she was, it was a place where all the things she´d once been used to, electricity, TV´s and cars, didn´t exist.

There was no noise outside, no traffic, no machines, just the peaceful chirps of birds and crickets or the soft humming of the bees, busily collecting nectar from the yellow blooming flowers sitting on the windowsill, and the breeze, a pleasant summer breeze, rustling the leaves of the few nearby trees.

The medical supplies the woman she had learnt was Caius Ballad´s sister used, wouldn´t be found in a modern nurse´s cabinet either. They were mainly herbal tinctures and ointments. Lightning saw her make them from ground leaves and herbs and roots she had brought somewhere from outside.

That woman called Cara, she didn´t talk much. She´d be busy working on her mixtures, getting up occassionaly only to look at some wound or the other the resident people came in to get checked, leaving the pink haired warrior to herself most of the time.

Lightning didn´t care.

After spending so much time in the void alone, the purple haired female´s company was balm to the fallen warrior´s tortured soul, even if the nurse didn´t pay her much attention throughout most of the day. The woman was nice and caring and besides looking after her wounds, also brought her food and water, provided her with a roof over her head and a bed to sleep in.

It was so much more than Etro´s former champion ever dared to ask for, could have ever hoped for, not from her nemesis´sister at least, that much was for sure.

Thinking about her enemy, the man she had been fighting, who had been trying to kill her for the past few aeons she had spent in Valhalla, that endless realm outside time and space, she couldn´t help but wonder.

She would see him stop by every other day. Sometimes to bring skinned animals Cara would cook for dinner, sometimes plants and other supplies for the nurse to make her drugs. He´d produce them from inside a small leather pouch supposedly made of some kind of animal skin, that he carried around on his back.

He´d usually spend some time in the front room of the hut, talking to his sister and sneaking furtive glances into the direction of the backroom doorway here and there, whenever he thought the pink haired stranger wouldn´t notice.

She wasn´t stupid.

She knew he came to check on her, would do so every other day.

But for some strange reason he wouldn´t bother her.

No interrogations, no hard words, no intention to pick a fight, no signs of any kind of hard feelings towards her whatsoever coming from his part...

The uncharacteristic behaviour Caius Ballad was exhibiting these days gave her enough to worry about.

This unexpected shift of personality made her feel uneasy and restless, anxious even.

What was he up to?

What was he plotting?

She hated it whenever he showed up at Cara´s hut. Unsure of what to expect from him, she´d stay on high alert and monitor his every movement whenever her eyes fell onto him.

She despised him, despised every second she had to endure in his vicinity.

She hadn´t forgotten about what he had done to her, couldn´t forget what he had done to the world even if she wanted.

Their final battle in Valhalla still fresh on her memory, it was the prospect of the purple haired man taking out that hunting knife dangling from his belt and crossing the room to unceremoniously cut her throat, just like he had done not so long ago, it was the thought that he could just attack her and end this any second, that terrified her, kept her on edge.

But even more then that, it was the fact that he didn´t seem to mean her any harm that made her nervous.

It was unsettling her, even worse than when he had been trying to kill her. Because back then at least she had known where she stood with him, had known what to expect from him, but this...

The whole situation...

It was confusing.

Confusing and tiresome.

She wasn´t sure how long she´d be able to keep up that game of cat-and-mouse.

She didn´t know what to expect, how to act, how all of this was even possible.

If she really was in the past then she had to be a long way back.

Like a really, really long way back.

Of course Caius Ballad wouldn´t recognize her, wouldn´t know her.

She understood that much.

If she was in the past, then their fight hadn´t even happened yet.

Hell, she probably hadn´t even been born yet.

Of course there was no reason for him to fight her.

It was obvious, wasn´t it?

But still she felt wary, felt insecure around him.

It was strange.

Facing the man who had fought to kill her, who had fought to kill everybody really, she couldn´t simply forget about what she had seen. She couldn´t simple acccept the fact that this Caius, so much younger, possibly hundred of years younger, probably wouldn´t even start scheming any of his ill-motivated deeds for centuries to come.

It was unnerving and confusing and she didn´t understand what was going on in the first place.

But she couldn´t change any of it, at least not yet, and so instead of getting worked up over her current situation, Etro´s fallen champion decided to focus on getting better instead.

Eventhought the circumstances weren´t exactly what she would have wished for, were not even close, she still was thankful. Thankful for being allowed to live again. Thankful for being saved from the nothingness, the crushing emptyness reigning in the void beyond.

It felt good to be surrounded by people again.

Eventhough she didn´t know them.

Eventhough they might have been her enemies.

Even though she knew she was far away from home, thrown into a long forgotten past.

In contrast to the eternity of the timeless void, her existence here was bliss.

To feel and see and breathe, not having to rely on the voices in her head as her sole company, it was more than she had ever hoped for.

Certainly more than she deserved.

* * *

It was a few days later that the knight of Etro was on her legs again, roaming the village she had awoken at for the very first time.

Exiting the cozy wooden cabin through it´s battered front door, she took down the well-trodden path leading her past more of those tiny shacks, scattered all around the place in no particular order whatsoever and towards a three storey building looming over the little huts´ rooftops, that apparently made the heart of the village.

Getting closer she could make out a set of stairs leading up to a huge platform on the building´s first level, where people where busy milling around or sitting together in groups, talking about the goddess knows what.

Looking around some more, the fallen warrior recognized the village from the pictures she had seen, displayed up high in the desolate skies of Valhalla.

Yes.

She remembered.

She had seen Serah and Noel visit this place on their journey through history, hadn´t she?

Yes. She definitely had.

But it had looked different then, hadn´t it?

Contrary to what she had seen the both of them encounter, the village she was exploring now didn´t look bleak nor dreary. The place she had seen on the verge of extinction, back when Serah had been here, was now full of life. The village that had been small and sparcely populated, was bigger, there were lots of additional huts she couldn´t remember from watching from her place on the Goddess´ balcony and there were numerous pens filled with sheep and chocobos, peacefully grazing in the summer sun.

The smaller roads once abandoned, where now filled with people going about their daily business and there were children playing around in the higher grass.

The buildings once damaged and half-rotten from neglect looked younger, the vegetation around was fuller and there were huge broad-leafed trees immersing the buildings below in their pleasantly cool shadows.

It was the small hunter´s village, located somewhere in the northeastern part of the Archylte Steppe, the one Serah and Noel had travelled to in order to take down the Faeryl, the one inhabited by the tribe that posessed the device that allowed them to change the weather as they pleased.

Judging from the unbearable heat of the summer sun, they didn´t seem to have built it yet.

How far back was she exactly?

Probably longer than she had initially thought.

Strolling over to one of corrals to take a closer look at the fluffy looking sheep safely caged behind the wooden fence, the warrior looked up in time to see the familiar face of a certain purple haired man, emerging from a group of hunters and heading straight towards her.

Carrying a pair of hares, he had slayed on his previous hunting trip he had just returned from, Caius Ballad carefully approached the pink haired woman eying him warily.

„Hey, you´re up!" the tall, slender man greeted her with a small smile. Coming to a halt a few meters away from her, intent on keeping his distance in order not to upset her any further, he made sure to put his hands in front of his body for her to see that he wasn´t armed, that he wasn´t going to attack her, that he had no intention to harm her whatsoever.

Giving him a quick once over, the pink haired warrior looked up at her adversery with mixed feelings.

Interacting with him like normal people would under normal circumstances just felt strange.

It would definitely take some time getting used to encounter him in normal situations, for the information to get into her head that he would not just suddenly pull out that greatsword of his and pounce at her, ready to take her out.

No.

This wasn´t the Caius she once knew.

That much was for sure.

He seemed nice enough and more important, he didn´t seem to know anything, anyting at all.

And she hadn´t seen Yeul anywhere around.

What did that mean?

Hadn´t he become the seeress guardian yet?

It was possible, wasn´t it?

This version of Caius Ballad seemed younger, unburdened, his features lacking the grief and sorrow of centuries...

Standing there a few feet away from her, with a kind expression on his face, dressed in normal hunter´s clothing instead of the black and purple armour he had worn back in Valhalla and without that impossibly huge sword he used to carry on his back, her purple haired nemesis suddenly didn´t look that intimidating anymore at all.

With the sleeves of his loose dark shirt rolled up to reveal his forearms and his legs in a pair of worn, frayed khaki trousers, his purple mane lacking some of it´s tribal beads, it was hard to believe that this man would one day fight to destroy the world, would actually fight to kill her.

Her eyes travelling to the collapsible spear he was carrying at his back and down to the deadly looking hunting knife tugged under his belt, Lightning carefully reminded herself that no matter how harmless he might look, it was still her mortal enemy she was dealing with. An unscrupulous man without morals, Caius Ballad would stop at nothing to achieve his ends.

Having those weapons innocently sitting there, without him using them against her, it felt strange, unnerving.

No.

If he had any intention on killing her, he would have done so the second he had had the chance. He had had more then a couple of opportunities those past few weeks.

There was no reason to worry about this now.

Besides, with her powers from Valhalla gone, there wasn´t much she could do if he decided otherwise anyway.

Waiting for his opposite to form some kind of reply, the purple haired man patiently watched the mysterious stranger standing next to the fence a few feet away, trying to mask her hard feelings from him, trying but failing terribly.

„Yes... I guess I needed to get out sometime..." the pink haired warrior finally said, eying the annoying male in front of her suspiciously.

Her answer rewarded with a warm smile, it gave her goosebumps to see the way it touched his eyes. So different from the smirks he had given her back in her own time, that sincere smile, it lit up his features, making him look handsome even.

„So... How are you feeling?" the guardian asked, his dark, kind eyes glued to her frosty blue ones.

„A lot better I guess." The stranger answered, looking for an opportunity to escape this uncomfortable conversation as fast as possible.

Her plans were thwarted though the second he spoke again.

„Want me to show you around?" It wasn´t exactly a question.

„Uhm..." the pink haired warrior was planning to decline, but the annoying male in front of her was already on his way ahead, motioning for her to follow. Not wanting to appear rude and definitely not eager to incur Caius´ wrath upon her, she decided to accompany him.

Well, walking around a bit, getting accustomed to her new surroundings couldn´t hurt, could it?

Settling to walk beside him as he led her down the main road, Lightning couldn´t help but feel weird.

After spending so much time fighting in Valhalla, walking next to Caius Ballad in this long forgotten past felt unreal, almost felt like a dream.

Rounding the village´s main building and entering a more crowded part of the street, Lightning found herself in what appeared to be a small market place, where people were busy offering their goods, ready to trade them for something else.

In the battered earth coloured clothes Cara had lent her, the gun she had found in the box next to her bunk tugged safely under her belt her only means of defense, Etro´s fallen champion didn´t stand out as much as she had thought. If it weren´t for her pink hair and her fair skin, she wouldn´t look out of place at all.

Feeling self-conscious, she only watched from the distance as the guardian took off towards one of the market stands, handing over one of the animals he had been carrying all the way in exchange for some of the goods displayed.

Etro´s former champion feeling slightly lost and left behind, the man who had accompanied her returned a short while afterwards, a basket of strange looking bright coloured fruit tugged under one of his arms. Meeting Lightning in the middle of the street, right where he had left her, the guardian offered for her to take one.

Eying every one of them suspiciously, the pink haired warrior selected a juicy blue one and hesitantly took a bite. The sweet, fruity taste exploding on her tastebuds surprising her, she couldn´t help but wonder what other miracles this exotic place had to offer.

The two of them making their way further down the road, it was Ligtning who brought up conversation again.

„Caius... I need to ask." She started tentatively, her eyes studying the purple haired man looking back at her carefully, he gave her a small nod, encouraging her to continue.

„When you found me there in the woods... Did I happen to have some kind of a sword on me..." she asked somewhat hopefully.

„No, you didn´t..." came Caius´ prompt reply. Watching the stranger walking there beside him with curiousity, he couldn´t help but furrow his brow at the woman´s deep-drawn sigh that followed his answer.

„Only that thing." he added, pointing at the gun tugged away under her belt.

Yeah that gun.

Blaze Edge was gone, but she had a gun.

Great.

This was crazy.

That gun, she couldn´t fathom how it had gotten into her posession. She had never seen it before, yet owned one in the first place, if one didn´t count her gunblade.

It only had three bullets loaded, she had checked, and she most certainly wouldn´t aquire any new ones for the next few hundred years to come.

She would have to use them wisely, save them for when she´d really need them.

She couldn´t rely on them for selfdefense. Once she left the protective walls of the village, three bullets wouldn´t get her far.

No.

She needed to get her hands on a sword, and soon.

„Is there any chance out here for me to acquire a sword?" Etro´s fallen champion asked. She didn´t like asking Caius Ballad for help, for advice, not at all, but this was important, this had priority. If she wanted to survive out there, if she wanted to leave this place and find a way back home she needed to get her hands on a sword or at least something similiar.

„You need a sword?" the guardian to be asked incredulously, stopping in his pace and turning to look at her in disbelieve.

„You can hardly walk" he reasoned, sounding slightly concerned.

The pink haired woman, she just averted her gaze, suddenly seeming sad, desperate even.

„Uhm... Sure!" the man in the dark shirt added quickly, as he took in his company´s sinking mood.

„You can always borrow one from our community as long as you´re going to stay...?"

To Lightning it almost sounded like a question.

Choosing to ignore it, she just resumed walking.

„But why don´t you wait a bit. I don´t know... Wait until you feel better and for your wounds to heal properly before you venture out to get yourself killed by some monster again?" Caius Ballad suggested a few steps behind her.

What was he talking about?

Was he concerned about her well being?

Did he want her to stay?

No this was preposterous.

This was crazy.

Abruptly turning around to face him again, she shot him a venomous glare.

Killed by some monster again?!

She knew how to defend herself perfectly fine, thank you very much.

But well, Caius Ballad had a point.

She doubted she´d be any good right now, in her state, with her injuries and everything...

„Lets talk about this once you feel better... Okay?" The guardian offered, trying to appease her upon taking in her slightly angered expression, his last remark had obviously offended her.

The pink haired woman felt the snide retort on the tip of her tongue, but decided against it.

„Sure." Was the only answer he received instead.

Lightning realised it´d do no good to argue.

She´d loose this one anyway.

She hated to admit it, but he was right of course.

With her wounds killing her and the powers she had lent from the Goddess gone, she wasn´t exactly hard prey for the monsters roaming the wilderness that were undoubtedly lurking outside the village´s wooden walls.

Making their way up to the top of the main building in silence, it didn´t take long for them to reach the place where an unknown period of time in the future the weather changing device would sit, waiting to be used by Serah and Noel, in order for them to encounter the murderous dragon-like creature she knew people out here called „Faeryl".

Leaning against the wooden railing, happy to give her injured leg some rest, Etro´s champion enjoyed the summer breeze gently playing with her pinkish strands, pleasantly cooling her skin, hot from walking under the opressive heat of the summer sun.

Her eyes roaming the vastness of the land stretching out before her, from her spot on the topmost platform of the hunter´s village main building, Lightning had a brilliant view of the northeastern parts of the Archylte Steppe.

With it´s high grass and occassionally growing tall broad-leafed trees, it looked strangely unfamiliar.

Of course.

They hadn´t been in this part of the Steppe, back in her time when she had been venturing across Gran Pulse with the other L´Cie.

But if they had, what would they have found?

Would there be anything left of this little hunter´s village?

Or would they only have encountered ruins. The remainders of an ancient civilisation, swallowed by the waves of time, just like in Oerba.

She couldn´t help but wonder.

„So where is it you come from exactly?" the guardian suddenly inquired from somewhere next to her, making the pink haired warrior snap out of her musing.

Not sure how to answer, she just kept quiet, staring off into the distance.

„Or should I rather ask when?" The attentive male added pensively when he didn´t receive any answer whatsoever.

At this she turned to stare at him, wide eyed, that comment of his had taken her completely off guard.

Wha -

Catching herself a moment later, Etro´s knight tried to play it off, but to no avail.

„What are you talking about..." she tried, fighting hard to sound nonchalant, but it was too late. Her reaction had already given her away.

„You´re form the furture right?"

That idea, Caius had been mulling over it for days now. It would certainly explain a lot. Why she knew him, why she was afraid of him...

Their fight. For her it must have already happened.

„I don´t know what you-" the pink haired warrior started, ready to deny whatever he´d throw at her, but he cut her off mid-sentence.

„Don´t take me for a fool, Lightning!" he warned, his voice suddenly low, dangerous, his facial expression suddely intimidating, his demeanor making her shy away from him instantly.

Realising how his behaviour was scaring her, the purple haired man instantly backed away. Coming to stand a few meters away, giving a frustrated sigh, he tore his eyes away from her, directing his gaze to the mountaintops visible in the distance instead.

„You already knew me..." he tried again after some minutes of silence, careful to keep his temper in check this time.

„When we met in the clearing I wasn´t a stranger to you."

„Oh... So you automatically asumed I was from the future...?!" Lightning scoffed, raising her eyebrows challengingly.

The purple haird man just choose to look away.

„The weapon you carry... I´ve never heard of anything like it before." he began again.

„So?! This world´s a big one..." Etro´s fallen champion retorted acidly.

The dark clad guardian gave an impatient snort and Lightning realised there was more.

There had to be more.

He somehow knew.

He didn´t want to tell her, but somehow he just knew.

But how was this possible?

Wha-

„ I saw you..." he disclosed, that revelation of his taking her completely by surprise.

„Huh?"

What did he mean?!

„I saw you in a dream... a vision... I don´t know what it was... but I saw you. I saw both of us..." the purple haired man stammered, looking up into her calculating blue eyes he suddenly felt foolish, stupid for mentioning it.

He couldn´t fathom what had made him say it, but now he had, he instantly regretted it.

This had to sound crazy, insane.

She had to think he was completely bonkers.

But it was her eyes that told him otherwise, those fanscinating pretty eyes, going huge, telling him he had hit target.

„I saw us fighting... We were enemies... Mortal enemies."

The pink haired warrior, she just gasped in shock.

So she was in the past indeed.

„So it is true then..?" he asked, dark, amethyst eyes imploring her to answer him, begging her to fill him in.

Lightning looked away.

His revelations made her feel uneasy, anxious.

Just like everything about him, they scared her.

Had he known of their battle?

Known all along?

Somehow she doubted it.

Altough she clearly was the same person she had been before, had been in Valhalla, the man infront of her obviously wasn´t the same Caius Ballad, not the Caius she had met back in the unseen realm.

Or was he?

How much did he know?

And more importantly, what else did he know?

She needed to treat carefully, very carefully.

Everything she said now, every tiny bit information she´d let slip to him, could give him an adventage in the future.

Everything she did here could change things.

Every spoken word, every tiny action, had the potential to corrupt the timeline and endanger the entire history, the whole future as she knew it.

One wrong step here would lead to a cascade of events that could easily destroy the world, create a paradox, or prevent herself from ever getting born.

The consequences of such a mistake would be disastrous.

What was she doing here?!

Her mere presence here had to cripple the timeline beyond recognition, wouldn´t it?

It had to.

There was no way her being here and meeting her future nemesis could not affect the future, the entire history.

What was she to do?

Was she here to kill Caius Ballad?

To prevent all the horrible things from even happening?

But no.

Surely that would alter the timeline completely, resulting into what exactly?

The effects of such a hasty deed could have tremendous outcomes. Outcomes she could never possible calculate.

It was reckless just to consider it.

But why had she been sent here then?

Was she here to do something else?

To find something? A way to beat him maybe? Some kind of weakness she didn´t know about?

Was she sent here to find a way to beat Caius Ballad?

Would she be able to return with her knowledge, to face him once again and set things right?

Would she receive a second chance at this? At saving the future?

She really had no clue. No clue at all.

* * *

 _It is not in the stars to hold our fortune,_

 _but in ourselves._

 _You are the master of your fate_

 _and the captain of your destiny._

\- W. Shakespeare; N. Mandela (both altered)

* * *

Soooooo... Another chapter of my story. First impressions of Caius and Lightning... Tell me what you think about this so far! Like it? Hate it? Suggestions?

Looking foreward to your feed back and

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 **HOPE YOU ENJOYED!**


	5. Chapter IV: Hunters of the ArchylteStepp

Hey guys, I just wanted to take a moment to thank those of you who added this story to favourites after only a few chapters (I really do feel honoured and I pray my story won´t disappoint you at any point), as well as my lonely story follower (Hi there;)) and of course those people who rewarded me with reviews!

It´s you guys that keep me going! You seriously are awesome!

So... enough with this and on to the next chap!

* * *

 **I HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

* * *

Yeul´s Theme - Lala version. (Yes I know. Again. Sorry. It will pop up again and again. I know boring. But that song really helped me create the athmosphere I needed for writing those few chapters. Feel free to ignore it if it bothers you.)

 **CHAPTER IV: HUNTERS OF THE ARCHYLTE STEPPE**

 _All journeys,_

 _they say,_

 _have secret destinations,_

 _of which the traveller is unaware._

\- Martin Buber

* * *

Time passed by in a blur. Hours grew into days, days turned into weeks and before she even knew it, Lightning´s wounds had healed. She might still feel the occasional twinge in her side or a certain throbbing sensation in her bad leg that would remind her of her injury whenever she dared to put weight on it the wrong way, but for the most part she felt better.

A lot.

And not only had she gotten better, but Etro´s fallen champion had also started to feel comfortable there at the small hunter´s village. Comfortable with it´s peaceful scenery, with it´s small cozy huts, with it´s kind, friendly people, with their way of life...

It seemed that somewhere during her stay in that most secluded part of the Archylte Steppe, Lightning had fallen in love with the land, it´s warm, hummid climate, it´s pleasant summer breezes and it´s cool, refreshing nights.

She didn´t miss the smog of the cities, the hustle and bustle on the streets, the noise of the cars, nor the sea of neon signs or the hundreds of dispensible devices, people kept carrying around with them wherever they went or had stacked in their cramped two room appartments.

Here in the small hunter´s village, far away from modern city lights, lost in a long forgotten past, finally, after an eternity of battle and strain, the Goddess´champion was allowed to find some rest, was granted a break from all the torment she had been forced to endure.

A small piece of heaven in the raging fires of hell, that was what this place was to her.

But still.

As much as she enjoyed her timeout, Lightning knew that she needed to leave eventually.

She had spent too much time sitting on the bench already, she needed to get herself back into the game.

She needed to find a way to return back home, a way to save the future, because surely that was why she had been sent back to the world of the living in the first place, wasn´t it?

To save the future.

To save Serah.

To make that vision of their reunion on Sazh´s airship deck come true.

Yes.

That future, where they´d live together peacefully at those sandy shores, it was still out there, somewhere, waiting for her. And it was her duty to turn it into reality.

She wasn´t going to let that blissful future slip away from her this time.

No.

Now that she would get a second shot at it, there was no way she was going to let the opportunity go to waste.

But where to start?

This world, this time, she had landed in - she didn´t know anything about it, right?

Where would she go once she left the safe haven of the hunter´s village?

She didn´t know.

But one thing was for sure, she wasn´t going to find out staying here, doing nothing.

Yes, she would have to leave.

To do so soon.

But although she felt set and ready to go, there were still some things that needed to be taken care of before she would be able to hit the road.

She would have to prepare for her departure, needed to get herself supplies, needed to get her hands on a weapon and maybe a Chocobo - if the God´s allowed - it would make the journey so much easier.

But even more than all those things, she felt she needed to find a way to thank Cara, to thank that woman who had not only tended to her wounds, but had also so kindly taken her in - her, a complete stranger - had provided her with clothes and food and a place to sleep at and everything she could possibly wish for.

It wasn´t something to be taken for granted.

And she knew that.

But how could she ever repay her?

She had no idea.

Exiting the small cabin through it´s battered front door, the pink haired woman slowly rounded the building´s corner and took down the small path she knew led down to the river that provided the village with fresh water as well as several different species of fish, reaching from small, cute ones to huge, grey ones that would easily make dinner for a family of four.

Following the burbling sound of flowing water, it didn´t take long for the warrior to reach her destination and emerging from the nearby bushes, she found the purple haired woman she had been looking for down by the riverbank, standing there in the shallower areas of the brook that merrily wound it´s way through this part of the land, the dark, clear water reaching up to her thighs, as she was busy doing laundry.

For a few minutes Lightning just stood there and watched the nurse as she rubbed the clothes against the surface of a large smooth rock sitting right in front of her, ridding them of all the crusted dirt and blood that had accumulated there over the time it had been worn and rinse them in the dark clear waters of the chilly stream, before she continued to grab them in her right hand and slam them against the hard surface to dislodge any remaining grime still clinging to the fabric, to spread the garments out to rinse again.

Lightning couldn´t help but think about how easy things like this would be in the future, where doing the laundry wouldn´t mean much more work than putting the clothes into the washing mashine, add some detergent and press a few buttons.

What would people like Cara think if they could see what comfort future inventions would bring with them?

Would they like them or would they reject them?

She could only guess.

Without saying a word, Lightning approached and bent down to pick up some of the freshly washed clothes the older woman had piled into a handmade wicker basket that rested on the pebbly shore behind her.

They were wet and cool, soothing against the warrior´s slightly sunburnt skin.

Born and raised on Cocoon, the pink haired timetraveller´s pale skin wasn´t used to the intensity of Gran Pulse´s blazing summer sun.

Tossing the garments over her left arm, Etro´s fallen warrior carried them over to the shadows of a bunch of trees, where a tightly woven cotton twine sat stretched between the strong, thick trunks, waiting to be hanged with clothes to dry on.

„What are you doing, Lightning?" The other woman adressed her from somewhere behind. Turning around to look at her, the pink haired warrior caught her enemy´s sister wrinkling her beautiful forehead.

„I just thought I´d lend you a hand." the knight of Etro said, picking up a dirt coloured shirt of Cara´s and putting it on the string to dry in the gently blowing summer breeze.

Turning back to the purple haired woman, now getting out of the waters, Lightning saw her slowly shake her head, heard her give a tiny snort.

Making her way over to the clothesline, coming to stand next to her, Cara took the pile of laundry out of Lightning´s hands and made to hang them up herself.

„But..." the pink haired woman protested at once.

„How am I to make up for everything you´ve done for me if you won´t let me do anything?!"

„We don´t need another washerwoman." the nurse said somewhat sternly, looking the pink haired warrior straight in the eye.

„We need hunters."

„Although summer´s always great, still, winter will approach soon enough." she explained, staring at the girl infront of her expectantly.

„You must be tough if you survived a battle with a Caius." she added, her expression softening, obviously amused at the younger woman´s stunned expression.

So Cara knew?

Lightning couldn´t help but wonder.

Caius must have told her.

What else had he told her?

„You´ll need an occupation anyway if you want to settle in with us." The purple haired woman continued nonchalantly, resuming her task of hanging up the clothes.

Settle in?

Lightning couldn´t help but frown.

She wasn´t exactly planning on settling, right?

„You´ll stay with us won´t you?" Cara asked, suddenly turning back to look at the other woman who instead of answering, chose to remain silent.

The older woman´s dark amethyst eyes, so similar to her brother´s, they watched the fallen champion curiously, studied her features carefully.

The pink haired warrior looked away instantly, unable to meet that gaze.

„I´m not sure..." she finally replied. Her voice was soft, fragile. Biting her lower lip she kept her eyes fixed on a lonely buzzard somewhere in the distance, hovering a few meters above the ground searching for prey.

This was a beautiful place to stay, she knew that.

But as much as she appreciated Cara´s hospitality, she knew she needed to leave sometime.

„You can stay at my place as long as you want to, you know that right?" the purple haired woman reminded her, her voice friendly and kind.

Lightning hated to brake it to her, but there was no use in delaying her departure any longer.

She knew Cara wanted her to stay.

She had offered her to stay at her hut as long as she wanted before and as much as Lightning yearned to do so, to just enjoy this tiny bit of peace, of calm, she had so unexpectedly found here, for a little longer, she somehow felt she couldn´t put this off anymore.

Now that she felt better, she couldn´t just sit around on her lazy butt and wait for fate to take it´s course.

No.

She needed to do something.

Serah was counting on her.

She had promised her never to give up.

She had to find a way to go back home and reverse the timeline.

There was no way around.

„I know... It´s just..." Lightning stammered, fishing around for words, words that wouldn´t come.

How could she possibly explain this?

„You really want to leave, hm?" The nurse said upon noticing the pink haired woman´s lost expression, a disappointed undertone finding it´s way into her voice.

The warrior just nodded.

She didn´t know what to say.

„Where will you go once you leave this place?" Cara inquired, pensively studying the younger woman´s features, she could easily sense the stranger´s insecurties, her apprehension. They were written all over her face.

„I... I´m not sure yet..." the pink haired warrior answered, hesitantly so.

It was the truth, wasn´t it?

„Then why hurry?" the purple haired woman wondered.

„You could just stay here with us a little longer while you think about it..."

„We´d all be glad if you decided to stay with us, I´m sure." she added, when Lightning didn´t reply at all.

Looking up into the nurse´s kind, dark eyes, taking in that warm, inviting smile of her´s, the knight of Etro couldn´t help but feel her resolve waver.

The thought of simply staying here, it was tempting.

Very tempting.

But she couldn´t do it, right?

She just couldn´t.

Giving a frustrated sigh, the fallen warrior just shook her head, ready to turn away and leave.

„You know... Caius cares for you." the purple haired woman suddenly said, lifting one of her arms to touch the champion´s shoulder, stopping her before she could even take her first step.

Yes.

Caius.

Caius Ballad, the man whome she had been fighting to defeat for aeons, the man who had managed to kill her and destroy the future...

That same man who had saved her from the claws of a pack of Gorgonopsids, who instead of taking the chance to get rid of her, had shown mercy on her, had brought her here, to this peaceful village, in the first place.

This unexpected change of personality...

His uncharacteristic behaviour towards her...

Yes.

Caius Ballad was a complete mystery to her.

Although she had done everything in her power to evade the purple haired guardian´s company as good as possible ever since she had arrived here at the hunter´s village, it still seemed an impossible feat to escape him completely.

It was as if fate intended for their ways to cross, over and over and over again.

Eventhough she kept to herself most of the time, sometimes he´d just catch her sitting outside Cara´s hut or taking a stroll on the main street, making it impossible for her to just slip away without appearing rude and forcing her to engage in conversation with that man, she knew her enemy.

She hated it.

Because eventhough she knew very well by now that he wouldn´t do her any harm, although he had treated her with nothing but with kindness, with respect, ever since she had arrived here, she couldn´t find it in herself to trust him.

No.

Not even a tiny bit.

Constantly expecting the guardian to change his mind, she waited, waited for him to finally drop his masquerade and begin what he had ended back in Valhalla. To just turn on her and try and kill her.

The fact that it hadn´t happened yet, it was disconcerting to say the least.

Eventhough for him, it hadn´t happened yet, wouldn´t happen until hundreds of years, Caius Ballad knew about their fight, he knew she was his mortal enemy, right?

Then what was he waiting for?

She didn´t get it.

Watching the pink haired woman closely, Cara couldn´t help but follow her empty stare, couldn´t help but notice the lost expression forming on her face.

She really was planning to leave, wasn´t she?

The idea of the mysterious stranger leaving again, it didn´t sit well with the purple haired woman.

She hadn´t nursed her back to health for nothing after all.

No.

Cara Ballad loved her brother and she could easily see how much he enjoyed the newcomer´s company, that this strange woman, wherever she had come from, was special to him.

Yes.

For some reason she was important to him, Cara had know that, had felt that the instant he had shown up at her door, carrying the girl back all the way from the woods.

She knew he liked the pink haired woman, he had made that obvious on plenty occassions.

And she was fed up seeing Caius alone all the time.

It wasn´t healthy.

Maybe some company would do him good. Someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, someone to care for...

Her brother had never shown any interest in the women from the tribe, but this one... it was different with this one.

The way he looked at her, it told her everything she needed to know.

Cara couldn´t fathom where her brother had met this woman, but she knew Lightning was wary of him. She knew they had history and that whatever had happened, their first encounter hadn´t been a pleasant one, but screw it.

By saving her from those beasts and bringing her here to stay with them, her brother had made it more than obvious that he was ready to take a fresh start.

And with just a little bit more time... Who knew what could happen?!

Also, that girl hadn´t exactly anywhere else to go, had she?

Maybe if she realised her brother cared for her, maybe that´d give her a reason to stay.

„He´d never admit it, but he can get pretty lonely sometimes... Maybe you could... I don´t know... Keep him some company...?" the purple haired woman started carefully, her suggestion earning nothing but an incredulous stare from the completely stunned warrior in front of her.

„He doesn´t care for me." Lightning reasoned, once she managed to process the words the other woman had just thrown at her.

She couldn´t believe Cara had just said that.

How could somebody be so misguided, so misled.

Where did she get the impression that Caius had actually taken a liking to her?

Alone the idea of it was crazy, was insane.

They were mortal enemies.

Were destined to fight each other to death.

How could she possibly not see that?!

The pink haired warrior couldn´t help but giva a sarcastic snort.

Caius Ballad care about her...

The thought of it was absurd.

Preposterous.

„There is only one person he cares about... Yeul." the warrior said, a bitter undertone leaking into her voice at the thought of what horrible fate the guardian´s bond with the blue haired girl would bring upon the world.

„Yeul?" Cara repeated pensively, looking slightly baffled at the mention of the name.

„Never heard him talk about her..."

What?

Caius never talking about Yeul?

Etro´s champion couldn´t believe her ears.

But that...

Of course.

Caius hadn´t become Yeul´s guardian yet.

Him becoming immortal and receiving the heart of Chaos, it had yet to happen, right?

She had already guessed that much, hadn´t she?

„He never talked of anything else back when I met him." Lightning said as some way of explanation, when Cara kept looking at her expectantly.

The older woman looking somewhat disappointed, she didn´t understand why Lightning always needed to act so defensively whenever the subject turned to Caius.

Her brother wasn´t that bad. He actually was a pretty decent guy. Cara knew he had his heart in the right place. And he wasn´t even a bad looking bloke either.

And their fight?

Well, screw it.

Why did she have to be so damn resentful.

Their fight, it was in the past, was history.

Nobody had died or had been severely injured by the looks of it.

Why couldn´t she forgive him?

Whatever had happened, hadn´t he already made up for it by saving her, by helping her out?

Hadn´t he made it clear already that he had no intentions to harm her whatsoever?

Still the mysterious stranger had been trying to evade him ever since she got here. Had refused to lower her defenses around him, had watched him closely - always guarded - had been monitoring his every movements when around him, alert, as if she was expecting him to pounce at her any second. She hadn´t even given him a chance...

It didn´t seem fair to her.

He had saved her and brought her here in the first place, why should he hurt her or mean her any harm?

Sensing the other woman´s resentment, Cara didn´t let it dissuade her from her plans.

She at least needed to try.

„I don´t say marry him... Just be his companion, at least for a little while... Please?" the purple haired woman said somewhat imploringly.

„That´s all I´ll ever ask from you for repaying me."

Her gaze trained at her feet, the pink haired warrior gave another frustrated sigh, the second in about five minutes - this surely had to qualify for some kind of new record.

Looking up at the woman in front of her, she determinedly shook her head.

No.

She couldn´t do that.

Not even if she wanted.

She just couldn´t.

Her gaze travelling to the purple haired nurse´s cheek, lingering at the traces of their first encounter, two thinning lines, white in contrast to the surrounding skin, Lightning instantly felt a pang of guilt.

Of all the things Cara could possibly have wanted, why did she have to ask for this?!

„You ask to much of me." The warrior spoke, her voice suddenly cold and hostile, before she turned away and made her way back towards the pebbly path that would lead her to the village.

The purple haired woman, she watched the stranger´s retreating back in disappointment.

She didn´t get it.

What could her brother possibly have done to that mysterious girl for her to act like that?

Why did she hate Caius so much?

* * *

Angry and bad-tempered, Lightning roamed the streets of the hunter´s village for Caius.

He had offered her to borrow a sword from the community and as much as she hated to seek him out and ask for help - him of all people - she needed to get back on his offer.

She needed to aquire a weapon.

She needed to be able to defend herself.

Oh, how much she hated to face the purple haired guardian.

The prospect of having to talk to him again, it was enough to put her in a bad mood already.

Also, her conscience wouldn´t stop nagging her.

She couldn´t possibly comply with what Cara had asked of her. She couldn´t just fraternize with the man who´d kill her and attempt and succeed in destroying the world, as if nothing had happened.

No way.

She couldn´t.

And she wouldn´t.

But help contribute and stock up on supplies for winter, she figured she could do that much, couldn´t she?

She would stay just a little bit longer, kill a few monster, collect a few berries, help people out a bit...

And then with a clear conscience, she would leave.

It was as easy as that.

She could do that, right?

No big deal.

Strolling down the main road, it didn´t take long for the pink haired warrior to track down her target.

Reaching the main building, she found Caius Ballad right outside on it´s first level´s huge platform, talking to another guy with short black hair, she had seen around him on several occasions already. Carrying the carcass of a small doe tossed over his left shoulder, she could easily tell the guardian to be had just come back from a successful hunt.

Approaching them slowly, the knight of Etro stopped somewhere out of hearing range, where leaning against the wooden railing for support, she settled to enjoy the pleasantly cooling summer breeze, curiously studying the purple haired guardian´s profile while she waited for him to finish his conversation.

Caius Ballad.

Her nemesis.

Standing just a few meters away from her, merrily conversing with some fellow chap.

Why didn´t she just take out her gun and end this again?

Oh, sure.

She had to protect the timeline.

Killing Caius Ballad now - that was something guaranteed to change the future, right?

Besides, getting rid of him right now...

She wasn´t sure what it would mean for her exactly.

Their fates were somehow connected, linked. That much she was sure of.

What would happen if she just took Caius out of the equation?

Would she just cease to exist?

Would she be stranded here, forced to live with whatever consequences killing a member of the tribe´s community would have these days?

What would they do to her, to punish such a crime?

Somehow she wasn´t eager to find out.

Those hunters, they didn´t exactly look like they were taking any prisoners, were they?

The subject of her musings sensing her presence, the purple haired guardian suddenly turned his head to meet her gaze.

Their eyes locking for a tiny moment, Caius Ballad took the time to greet the pink haired warrior with a small, kind smile, before slowly lowering the dead deer´s carcass from his shoulder to let it rest at his feet, he turned his attention back to the hunter next to him.

Etro´s fallen champion, she couldn´t help but feel a shiver running down her spine.

To see her nemesis smile at her like that, friendly, invitingly, it was unnerving to say the least.

Although she had somehow gotten used to him walking around without any intentions to destroy the world as she knew it, it still was weird to watch the Caius of these times.

So untroubled and carefree, so light-hearted, it was hard to believe that this guy would live to one day destroy the world, to tear down time and space only for a little girl.

The way he always looked at her, as if she was just another person, not his mortal enemy, it gave her goosebumps.

Etro´s warrior had to constantly remind herself that of course he couldn´t fathom, that his knowledge of their future was only very limited, that for him it wouldn´t happen until probably a thousand years.

Her pale blue eyes studying the purple haired man´s familiar features, as he so casually interacted with his colleague, his eyes twinkling with kindness and his lips curved upwards in a friendly smile, she couldn´t help but realise how different he was from the guy she thought she knew.

No.

This wasn´t the Caius she had met in Valhalla yet, wouldn´t be for ages.

That much was for sure.

Prying her eyes off the enigma in front of her, she opted to stare into the distance instead. Watching a lonely fluffy white cloud wandering the sunny, blue skies above, the pink haired warrior waited patiently for the two hunters to part.

„Hey..." the purple haired guardian greeted her, once he had bid his friend goodbye. He had appearently left the doe´s carcass behind in his colleague´s care and was now making his way over to meet the mysterious pink haired woman, casually leaning against the banister of the main building´s biggest platform.

Always careful to keep his distance, the hunter stopped about two meters away from her, making sure to not accidentally invade the stranger´s private space or anything.

He knew exactly how much it could upset her when he stood too close.

The fallen warrior, she appreciated the way he was always respectful enough to keep her some space.

It spared her some serious awkwardness.

She didn´t exactly like him near her.

It made her uneasy, nervous.

Given the chance, she´d rather stay out of his immidate range of attack.

Feeling unarmed and weak, without the powers the Goddess Etro had bestowed upon her, the pink haired warrior doubted there was much she could do if the guardian chose to do something to her.

But that was what she had come here to change, wasn´t it?

She was here to acquire a weapon.

„How are you?" the purple haired guardian asked amicably, when Etro´s champion showed no intentions to say anything at all.

Yeah sure...

Like he cared.

Not wasting any time with courtesy, the pink haired warrior ignored his question and instead of answering, got straight to the point:

„When I asked your sister how to repay for what you guys did for me, she said something about the village needing hunters..." she said, staring the guardian straight in the eye.

„You told me to talk to you about borrowing a weapon once I felt better..."

She knew he wasn´t eager to entrust her with a weapon. He had been reluctant to do so before.

They had already talked about this, right?

The purple haired guardian arching one of his eyebrows at the stranger´s rude behaviour, Lightning only watched him, as he looked her over contemplatively.

„Well?" She prompted impatiently when the other didn´t reply at once.

„Alright." the guardian agreed, trying to appease the woman in front of him with a tiny nod.

„Let´s see what we´ve got for you."

Smiling inwardly Etro´s champion followed her nemesis up the stairs to the second floor of the main building to enter through it´s wooden doors for the very first time. The air inside was mouldy and stale and the narrow corridor that was revealed infront of her was dark, lit only by the few rays of sunlight that somehow managed to filter through the tiny gaps between the wooden boards that made the walls.

Barely able to make out her own feet, the pink haired woman followed the guardian further into the building, until turning left and passing through another set of wooden doors, they found themselves in a little chamber, the dwarfish window on the opposite side illuminating walls lined with shelves full of swords and knifes, spears and axes, patiently sitting there and waiting to be used, as well as a wide range of accessory to choose from.

Caius Ballad watched the stranger´s beautiful blue eyes widen at sight of the vast assortment of weapons his tribe had managed to gather over the years. An armoury like this - the guardian knew, it wasn´t something people usually expected such a small community as their´s to call their own.

Standing there, feeling slightly lost, facing all those shelves cramped with arms, the pink haired warrior looked up to the man now leaning against the doorway questioningly.

„They´re all your´s." he said, motioning over to the shelves and giving her an encouraging smile she didn´t return.

Watching curiously, Caius Ballad decided to stick to the background, while the pink haired woman´s eyes roamed the shelves. Giving particular attention to the sword section, she examined every single one of them, her eyes narrowing in concentration, as she let the tips of her fingers run over their deadly blades.

His dark amethyst eyes trained on the woman infront of him, the purple haired guardian studied her expression, her every movement.

She was always so serious, always so cold and unsmiling.

Always businesslike.

Did she ever allow herself to have some fun?

Caius couldn´t help but wonder.

If she did, he certainly hadn´t been there to witness it.

Well... not yet.

The pink haired warrior, enjoying the feeling of the cold solid steel against her skin, she suddenly stopped to pick up a short hunter´s sword, not unlike the one she would see Noel whield centuries in the future.

Eager to take a look at her choice, Caius Ballad took a few steps closer to get a glimpse of the sword she was now weighing in her hands. He couldn´t help but think it was a nice choice for a woman. Short and light, it certainly wasn´t something she would have trouble with carrying around.

He watched her shake her head though, as she returned it to it´s place with a huff.

„What´s wrong with it?" the purple haired guardian asked curiously.

„Nothing... I just usually carry something heavier..." the pink haired warrior started tentatively.

„Something more like..." Unsure of what to say, she let her words trail off at the last part.

„A gunblade?" the guardian prompted, raising one of his eyebrows at her challengingly.

He wasn´t exactly sure where he had gotten the word from. He had seen her wield it before though, that signature weapon of her´s, he must have picked up the term from inside one of his strange dreams.

The knight of Etro, startled for a moment, she found herself shocked again and again, had to remind herself, again and again, that of course Caius Ballad had seen them fight in one of his dreams or visions or whatever he called it.

„Yes exactly." she said, her voice suddenly small, barely a whisper.

Looking up into those dark amethyst eyes, she knew had been studying her intently ever since she had set foot in here, Lightning, not for the first time, asked herself how much the purple haired man infront of her knew exactly.

He didn´t let on much, did he?

If he was aware of what was going to happen in the future indeed, he hid it exceptionally well.

But well, this didn´t necessarily mean anything, did it?

This was Caius Ballad we were talking about.

„Well they won´t be invented around here for quite some time, I´m afraid." Caius mused. He didn´t miss the way the mysterious stranger stared at him, warily, full of distrust.

He figured she wouldn´t have to wait long though.

Judging from their looks in his visions, it didn´t seem as if much time was going to pass before they would encounter in battle, right?

No.

Thinking about it, she hadn´t looked a day younger than today, had she?

And him?

Well, he hadn´t looked much older either.

A few years at tops.

Yes.

He bet it wouldn´t take long until she´d get her hands on that beloved weapon of her´s.

Anyway, until then she´d have to do with one of these.

„Try this one." the guardian to be suggested, taking one of the slightly bigger swords, he used to whield back in his teens, from it´s place on the shelf, he settled into fighting stance immediately, about to show off some of his moves.

It was just a second too late that he realised his faux pas.

The pink haired stranger giving an audible gasp and instantly backing away to the opposite wall, that sudden movement of his with a sword clutched in his hand, it was enough to set her off again.

„I´m sorry..." the guardian appologized, instantly lowering the weapon and handing it over to the pink haired female with it´s hilt pointing towards her.

„I didn´t..." he tried, intending to explain himself, but stopping immediately upon taking in the look she gave him. The way she stared at him with her beautiful pale blue eyes wide open, he couldn´t help but realise that he had scared her once again.

 _Stupid._

He´d have to learn to behave carefully around her, to keep calm around her - no fast movements, at least not when armed - to keep his hands where she could see them, so she could assure herself they were empty...

He had been trying to stick to those rules he had established for himself whenever interacting with her, because he knew all those things, they would upset her.

He knew pretty well that she was afraid of him, knew she was wary of him.

He knew that although he couldn´t think of a reason to hurt her, besides maybe self defense, she didn´t trust him.

Not one bit.

He assumed it had something to do with their fight.

It had to.

There had to be something his visions didn´t show him.

Thinking about it, he hadn´t exactly seen much anyway, had he?

Only oddly mixed up bits and pieces.

Flashes.

Nothing concrete.

And certainly no context.

Maybe he´d hurt her.

He didn´t know.

But yes, there had to be something.

And whatever it was, she knew.

She just knew...

The thing was, she didn´t trust him.

Probably never would.

And here he was, making things worse.

 _Stupid._

Eyeing the man infront of her warily, the pink haired warrior hesitantly reached forewards to accept the sword he was holding out for her to take.

Carefully inspecting it´s blade, she tried the weapon in her hand.

This one was a bit bigger, a bit heavier at least.

It was nothing compared to Blaze Edge of course, but it fit her hand perfectly and at least was nice and flexible.

Well, it would have to do.

Nodding to the purple haired guardian to be, standing only a few feet away from her, she took one of the leather straps she had seen some of the hunters use to carry their swords on their backs from one of the nearby shelves and after managing to put it on correctly all by herself (the guardian didn´t dare touch her/help her out - something she was rather thankful for), she stowed the sword away - the weight of the weapon sitting there at her back, after all this time she had to go without, it felt nice, reassuring.

„Here you should take one of these as well." Caius said, carefully handing her a vicious looking hunter´s knife.

„If you want to hunt..."

Well, he was probably right, she thought, accepting it from him and putting it into a holster she continued to strap around her right leg.

„Thank you, Caius." she said. Forcing herself to look up into his dark, charismatic eyes, it definitely cost her some effort to say the words. Hearing them directed at her arch enemy, they somehow sounded fake and wrong.

„You are welcome." He replied politely. She couldn´t detect an ounze of malevolence in his features.

Only that kind, warm smile, that seemed to be clued to his face these days.

It annoyed her to no end.

This was insane.

She wasn´t sure who got more on her nerves. The old Caius who had been eager to rip her to pieces or this ... `benign´ version of his, driving her crazy with his courtesy.

It seemed Caius Ballad was a pain in the arse no matter the circumstances.

„I´ll take you out into the steppe tomorrow before sunrise, if you´d like to come." the guardian offered as they made their way back outside into the blinding sunlight.

Well, he doubted she would be much help as a hunter. Judging from her built she didn´t seem able to overpower anything bigger than an opposum, not to mention how she looked too weak to carry home much prey, but he knew better than this, didn´t he?

He had had a hard time fighting her back in his dreams, right?

Well, this way or the other, at least he´d show her around the plains, it´d get her out of Cara´s hut for once.

„Sure." the pink haired woman said, somewhat absendmindedly, relieved to be outside again, relieved to be able to finally bring some space between herself and the annoying male next to her.

„Caine!" the guardian to be suddenly called out, to no one in particular it seemed.

Following Caius down to to the first level´s platform again, Lightning´s eyes darted over to the fireplace, where she found yet another purple haired man seated on one of the tree trunks arranged around the glowing remains of the previous fire, busy sharpening his knife with the aid of a small, flat stone.

„Hey Caine!" the guardian tried again, as with long fast paces he approached the man, Lightning hot on his heels.

It wasn´t until the latter looked up from his work, that Etro´s fallen champion realised she had just met yet another one of Caius´ relatives. Slightly startled at the realisation, she found herself studying the features of the man that could only be Caius´ older brother.

Great... Another Ballad.

This one looked several years older than her nemesis. His purple hair sligtly darker than Caius´s, it was shorter and gathered into a small ponytail at the back of his head.

His face was more angalar, his eyes narrower, his features harder...

His facial features didn´t look anything like Caius´s, she thought, but still, with his purple hair and lavender eyes the relatedness was undeniable.

„Caine... This is Lightning..." Caius introduced, earning only an indifferent grunt from the individual sitting at his feet. The guardian didn´t seem to care though, as he continued nonetheless.

„I´m going to show her around a bit... Take her along for hunting tomorrow..."

The older man giving no indication of acknowledgement whatsoeever, he turned his attention over to the pink haired woman standing right in front of him. Giving her a long detailed once over, he couldn´t hide a sneer from forming on his face.

That frail looking girl, he couldn´t imagine that she´d be any good. Out there in the steppe she would only be a nuisance... at best. Maybe a danger, even.

„You... A hunter?" he scoffed.

Judging form her stature, Caine doubted the girl could even draw that sword she carried strapped to her back.

„Wouldn´t even like to see you try..." he muttered grumpily, returning to sharpening the edge of his long slightly curved blade.

„Caine..." Caius warned, making the older guy look up again.

„Alright! I couldn´t care less..." the man named Caine replied somewhat reluctantly.

„But she´s your responsibility..."

„Just keep her out of my way, understood? Don´t need her chasing away the game." He added nastily, presenting both of them with a derisive smirk, before mercifully, he went back to ignoring them.

That smirk of his, it reminded Lightning a lot of the one´s Caius had used to give her back in Valhalla, it made her involuntarily retreat a step, made her shy away from this man she had only just met a few minutes ago.

Figuring that was as much as an approval as he would get, Caius bade the older man good-bye with a nod and without further ado, turned around to walk down the stairs and back to the main street, the pink haired warrior following only a few steps behind.

„Was that your brother?" she asked sounding slightly confused.

The older Ballad didn´t seem very fond of her...

She wasn´t exactly sure what to make of it.

Also, she could practically taste the tension between Caius and this other man - Caine - who obviously was the one in charge of the hunters here.

The purple haired guardian just nodded, then giving a frustrated sigh, he stopped walking altogether to look up at her.

„Don´t mind him..." Caius advised.

„Caine can be quite... challenging to deal with sometimes..." he finished, trying to find a way to put it without insulting his least favourite member of the family.

„Well, actually most of the time." he corrected on a second thought.

Lightning couldn´t help but lift her eyebrows.

She hadn´t ever pictured Caius Ballad having sibling problems.

Well, she hadn´t exactly pictured him doing anything remotely normal like... ever.

Having nothing else to do, slighty intrigued by the unexpected display of interfamilial tensions in the Ballad clan, the pink haired warrior followed the guardian down the main road. It was without her even realising that they passed the borders of the village and made their way out onto the steppe - those vast plains of unforested grassland that lay beyond the safety of the high wodden walls surrounding the city, keeping the villagers safe from unbidden guests and the dangerous beasts roaming the lands at night - for the very first time since she had arrived.

Without a weapon, without any means to defend herself beside that blasted gun, Etro´s champion hadn´t dared to leave the safety of the cozy hunter´s village. And now that she finally got to go outside, she couldn´t help but marvel at the beauty of the nature surrounding her.

The view of the land around her stretching out endlessly, with nothing standing between her and the horizon, with the sun slowly sinking and painting the sky in pretty pinks and oranges, with the gentle summer breeze blowing in the blades of grass that easily reached up to her waist and the scent of the flowers interwoven with the culms spreading their lovely fragrance, Lightning couldn´t help but admire the beauty of the steppe.

Yes, it was beautiful.

Beautiful in it´s own way.

Those huge vast plains, a playground for Pulse´s deadly monsters, Lightning couldn´t help but wonder how the people of Caius´ tribe managed to share the land with it´s original inhabitants, those beasts that roamed that grand terrain.

That clan of hunters, thay had somehow built themselves a comfortable life. Having lived off the land out here for centuries, cut off from the rest of civilisation not to mention from what was goin on on Cocoon, they had set up their nomad village here in the northeastern parts of the Archylte Steppe all on their own.

So different from the people on Cocoon, they had accomplished all of this through nothing but hard work, completely without the help of the Fal´Cie. For the pink haired time traveller, who had been pampered in opulence for most of her life, it was hard to believe.

Life here was so different.

People hunted for food, they ate, they slept, they enjoyed the peacefulness of untouched nature...

They had no jobs, no responsibilities, no worries...

To Lightning, their lives seemed uncomplicated, simple.

„How far did you travel back exactly?" Caius suddenly asked out of the blue. Standing only a few feet away from her, Etro´s fallen champion realized he had been staring at her, had been studying her features carefully, for what had to be the past few minutes.

His dark eyes unrelentingly boring into her´s, she knew he had a thousand questions swirling around inside his head.

Questions he was dying to ask, but didn´t dare to pose - she could tell.

And she couldn´t blame him.

It had to be pretty unusual for a stranger to arrive here at this place, let alone for somebody coming from the future.

Had she been in his position, she would probabaly have tried to squeeze the answers out of herself already.

But of course Caius Ballad had patience. He had waited for that terrible plan of his to be put into action for centuries, hadn´t he?

Still.

The pink haired warrior couldn´t give him the answers that he wanted.

She couldn´t tell him anything important.

She couldn´t risk altering the timeline.

She shuddered to think about the terrible consequences her presence in this long forgotten past alone had to have upon history.

Only a single mistake here, only a tiny piece of information she´d let slip into the wrong hands, would undoubtedly send the whole world spiralling into catastrophy, would surely have desastrous outcomes in the future she once knew.

„I can´t tell for sure..." the pink haired warrior replied, intent on evading the question.

It wasn´t exactly a lie.

The purple haired guardian noticed though.

Of course.

She didn´t want to talk about it.

He had sensed this earlier, but still he was curious.

Very curious.

She couldn´t have left long after their fight though.

He had figured this much before.

She looked exactly the same as she had in his vision after all, just minus the strange armour and everything.

„Just two summers ago there was a terrible war going on between the Farseers and the Haerii..." the guardian began, looking up at the mysterious stranger in front of him expectantly.

„There was a huge battle raging on for weeks, colouring the ground of the steppe crimson with their blood..." he continued, contemplatively.

If anything she must have heard about that war.

There wasn´t a soul on Gran Pulse who didn´t know about it.

Surely this would help her reconstruct how many years she had travelled back exactly.

But instead of answering, as he had expected, giving a frustrated sigh, the woman in front of him just lifted her head to look skywards, to penisvely stare up into the the endlessness of space above.

Not for the first time since she had arrived here, Etro´s fallen warrior didn´t know what to say.

Looking up at Cocoon, she figured she had to be a far way into the past.

It had to be before the War of Transgression even.

As far as she could tell, the small planetoid´s outer shell seemed still to be intact, meaning she was at least 600 years from her own time... Or maybe more like over a thousand years, if she took into account that Caius hadn´t even become Yeul´s guardian yet.

How long had Caius Ballad been at the seeress´ service exactly?

Lightning didn´t know.

She felt those terrible waves of despair again, those waves that kept raging inside of her just under the surface of her carefully guarded calm exteriour ever since she had arrived here in this long forgotten past, felt them threatening to break.

Biting back the tears that were stinging the back of her eyes whenever she dared to think about what a mess she had gotten herself into, the pink haired warrior closed her eyelids and swallowed to take a few deep calming breaths.

She would make it.

She would find a way back home.

She knew it.

„I´m afraid that won´t help." she said once she trusted herself to speak again.

„What do you mean?" the guardian asked confusedly. He hadn´t exactly expected to receive an answer anymore.

Feeling slightly flusterd, the pink haired woman turned to look at him again.

The sudden tinge of sadness clouding those beautiful pale blue eyes, it didn´t go unnoticed by the purple haired guardian.

„I don´t know any of Pulse´s history."

She didn´t know what made her say it.

But it was true of course.

Besides the War of Transgression and the Fall of Paddra the knight of Etro didn´t know anything about what had been going on on Gran Pulse all those centuries and she hadn´t botherd to catch up when she had had access to watching the entire timeline back in Valhalla.

The purple haired man in front of her, he could only stare at her in bewilderment.

He didn´t understand.

Of course.

How could he...

„That´s because I lived on Cocoon for almost all of my life." the pink haired warrior explained, the corners of her mouth twitching dangerously, her voice about to break, those dreadful feelings of despair of hopelessness, threatening to overwhelm her any second, she choose to look away again.

Was it a mistake to tell him?

Maybe.

She didn´t know.

It didn´t matter.

She was screwed anyway.

„Cocoon?" the purple haired guardian repeated disbelievingly, his eyes huge, unable to hide his astonishment as he took to look up at the planetoid in question.

But that couldn´t be, or could it?

* * *

 _Our deepest fear_

 _is not that we are inadequate._

 _Our deepest fear_

 _is that we are powerful beyond measure._

 _It is our light_

 _not our darkness that most frightens us._

 _We ask ourselves:_

 _Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?_

 _Well actually,_

 _Who are you not to be?_

 _You are a child of god._

 _Your playing small doesn´t serve the world._

\- Marianne Williamson

* * *

It was early the next day, about two hours before sunrise, that time of the day when the smaller creatures roaming the steppe were most active, that time when hiding from the bigger ones proved easiest as most of them couldn´t see well at night, that Etro´s fallen champion got up to meet the guardian to be at the hunter´s village´s still closed entrance doors.

It was still dark outside and the birds hadn´t even started chirping their songs yet, most of the villagers still fast asleep, when the both of them slipped through the heavy wooden gates and outside into the waist high meadows. With those endless plains providing unobstructed view clear to the horizon and allowing bigger beasts to instantly spot intruders to their terretory, venturing in there in plain daylight would have been a reckless deed, stupid, like walking into hell itself.

No.

It wouldn´t have been wise to take the unexperienced stranger out for her first stroll at that time of the day.

And it was then therefore, protected by the shadows of one of Pulse´s starry nights, that Caius Ballad led Etro´s fallen champion out into the wilderness, away from all traces of civilisation and right to the heart of the land he had called his home for all of his life.

The land he had been born into.

That land he knew like the back of his hand.

The Archylte Steppe.

Those vast plains connecting the Vallis Media with the Faultwarrens and the city of the Haerii, as well as the Mah´habara Subterra, which Lightning had seen with her own eyes when she had first visited Gran Pulse back in her own time - from her place on the tops of a grassy hill, with the Yaschas Massif towering behind her, they seemed to stretch out endlessly at her feet.

The pink haired warrior, she liked the way the steppe was dangerous and beautiful at once.

A borderless land full of murderous beasts and magnificent vegetation, that was what it was to her.

Although she knew Caius had taken her with her on this first hunt, less to really slay anything, but more for the sake of showing her his world, although she hadn´t been looking forward to spending her precious time out with him alone and endless walking wasn´t exactly her favourite way of wasting her freetime, Lightning found that it had been worth the effort.

Standing there on the edge of a cliff overlooking the Archylte Steppe, the sea of bioluminescence from the exotic plants below, mirrored in the limitless nightskies above, illuminated by a million brilliant tiny stars shining down on her - this easily qualified as the most beautiful view the pink haired warrior had ever enjoyed in her entire life.

Those many twinkling dots looking down at her, turning even the darkest of nights into a beautiful spectactle of colour and light, the pink haired timetraveller, she couldn´t help but marvel at the sight.

How come she hadn´t noticed them before?

Of course she hadn´t had a chance to see them back when she had lived on Cocoon, a massive hollow sphere with people living at the inside of it´s outer shell, there was no sky, no clouds, the lights of the cities around, the only stars one could have glimpsed.

That so-called paradise, crafted by Fal´Cie, it sat floating there above them like a low hanging moon, immersing the land below in a pale whitish sheen.

No.

Etro´s fallen champion, she hadn´t been able to see the stars from Cocoon and she hadn´t bothered to watch them when she first came to Gran Pulse.

Preoccupied with her focus and their mission, she hadn´t even realised they had been there.

But of course they had, they had been there all along.

Looking up at the familiar planetoid above, whole now, with it´s outer shell still intact, Lightning couldn´t help but remember what it had been like to live up there.

Yes.

Life on Pulse was different.

So very different from living on Cocoon.

While on Cocoon people were permanently at the Fal´Cie´s mercy, down here on Pulse there was a place for people to live in sync with nature.

From up there Pulse had looked like a deadly thicket of dangerous beasts, where one would not be able to survive for a day. But from standing down here, things looked different alltogether.

People here were happy. They had their established place in the world, in the food chain, living off the land around them, the planet provided them with everything they needed.

No... She hadn´t seen this side of Pulse before.

When she had been here back with the L´Cie, it had been a living nightmare. They had been attacked by something every other second and had barely made it across those plains alive.

Oblivious on how to act correctly, they had headed straight into the lion´s den, venturing out into the steppe in plain daylight without any means of cover whatsoever, they had been easy prey from the beginning.

But being here with Caius, things were different.

The hunters inhabiting these lands, they had adapted themselves to the environment. They knew how to behave, how to walk, how to react.

They had their own hard-earned place, their own rank, in the merciless hierarchy of the steppe and the beasts, they knew them too.

Smaller ones, like those annoying Rangdas thad had been constantly attacking the group of L´Cie back in Lightning´s time, they didn´t even glance at the guardian and his new companion. They just scrambled out of their way as fast as they could whenever they sensed their presence. Those beasts knew the hunters weren´t prey and they weren´t stupid enough to take them on, knowing pretty well that they wouldn´t stand a chance.

Yes.

The hunters were part of it.

Part of nature.

Part of the steppe.

„The beasts inhabiting those plains are merciless predators..." the purple haired guardian said pensively. Lost in her own thoughts, Lightning had almost forgotten he was there.

„Victors of the unending struggle for survival, that´s what they are." His voice was low and even, pleasant to listen to.

Looking down at a pack of Behemoths trying to take on a lonely Long Gui on the plains below, Lightning couldn´t help but agree.

The steppe was unforgiving.

Merciless.

One step in the wrong direction, one moment of abstraction and it could easily be your last.

Out here in the wilderness, there was nothing that could save you when a pack of Behemoths came charging at you, even if your were as giant a beast as this Long Gui.

The thought of that fact sending tiny shivers down her spine, Lightning knew they´d do good to keep in mind that they weren´t the only ones out hunting those nights.

Tearing her eyes away from the brutal display of nature taking it´s course, the pink haired warrior looked up at her companion´s face instead, contemplating on whether that statement of his included him and his people as well.

It probably did.

Under the silver shimmers of Cocoon, she could already see the first traces of the relentless warrior, the guardian, she had fought back in Valhalla become apparent in those gentle features.

Lightning knew they probably wouldn´t manifest for hundreds of years.

The mysterious male in front of her, he met her gaze with with confidence, with curiosity.

Looking back at him, Etro´s fallen warrior couldn´t help but wonder what would have to happen in order to turn this man into the ruthless monster she knew one day he would become.

Somehow she wasn´t sure she wanted to find out at all.

* * *

It was a few hours later and the morning of the next day was already beginning to dawn, that Etro´s fallen champion and the purple haired guardian were roaming the lands for prey, their path carrying them further and further away from the steppe and closer to the adjoining woods, a part of the land, Lightning had never heard of before, well, not until she had so unexpectedly landed there in one of it´s sunny clearings, at least.

The pink haired warrior following her guide through the thicket of trees and bushes, her feet starting to get sore and her stomach starting to growl, without the endurance of a L´Cie, she found that wandering these lands was much more exhausting than she could remember.

Helping herself to a delicious breakfast to distract her mind from the constant throbbing in her legs, the timetraveller picked a plump, juicy fruit, that sat dangling from some kind of broad-leafed tree growing near their path, flashing it´s bright red colours at her invitingly.

It was a second before she managed to take her first bite though, that the tiny piece of joy was snatched away from her.

„Don´t!" the guardian warned, knocking the treat right out of her hand.

„Not this one! Never this one!" he chided.

„Understood?!"

Looking at the pink haired woman now staring at him wide eyed, stunned, completely oblivious to what she had been about to do, Caius Ballad could only shake his head.

That fruit, it would have killed her before it even reached her stomach.

Every child knew that.

Her ignorance as well as the unbearable noises she made with her feet moving through the outskirts of the forest...

Caius Ballad couldn´t help but wonder.

„Have you actually ever been on a hunt before?!" the purple haired guardian asked, sounding slightly irritated, when he heard yet another branch snap under the weight of the annoying stranger´s boots.

They were heading throught the undergrowth, the perfect place to sneak up on prey wandering around this time of the day, but with the pink haired warrior clumping around like a grown Shaolong Gui it was no use. With the unprofessional way she moved through the thicket, clumsily, carelessly, it was more likely for them to attract the attention of a blood thirsty predator, than find any prey stupid enough not to bolt from the racket she created.

„No..." the timetraveller admitted.

Refusing to believe his ears, the guardian to be stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to look at her, his features indicating a complete lack of understanding as he rewarded her answer with an incredulous stare.

„Wait... You let me drag you out here into the wilderness, with nothing around but murderous beasts and - " the guardian started, his voice gradually increasing in volume, Lightning could easily tell he was getting worked up.

„I... I was a warrior... A soldier for most of my life." she said softly, carefully averting her eyes, hoping her answer´d somewhat appease him.

„Never a hunter..."

A soldier? But no hunter? To the purple haired man standing next to her, this sounded more than strange.

„Is there so much war up on Cocoon that it warrants for people to pursue the sole occupation of being a soldier?" he asked in astonishment.

„Huh?"

The pink haired warrior in front of him, she didn´t get what he was playing at, making a questioning sound at the back of her throat before she realised that this, of course, had to seem more than curious to him.

„No... I mean... Not usually, no... Thought there was... In the end..." she let herself trail off.

„But no. There simply are no hunters on Cocoon." Etro´s champion clarifyed, when her companion continued to stare at her in incomprehension.

„No hunters..." the guardian mused, pausing for a moment to think about what this implied.

„So you must have enough reosurces to breed them. That must be great... Makes things a lot easier I guess." he finally said, looking up at the woman next to him admiringly. It took a few seconds for the pink haired warrior to realise what he was actually talking about.

„Uhm no... That´s not exactly what it´s like..." she admitted, suddenly feeling foolish in face of the fact that people in her place didn´t actually have to do anything to acquire their food.

Caius Ballad could only furrow his brows at her.

„Than how... Where do they come from exactly?!" he asked somewhat confusedly, gesturing at a bunch of game visible grazing in a clearing in the distance.

„I´m not sure... I... I don´t know." The pink haired warrior replied, her voice soft, barely a whisper.

„You don´t know?!"

The purple haired guardian couldn´t believe his ears.

How could somebody not know where the food on their plate had come from?!

To him, alone the thought of it was absurd, ridiculous.

„Uhm no..." Lightning said tentatively.

„The Fal´Cie provided us with food..."

„The Fal´Cie?!" the hunter repeated sceptically, his eyes never leaving his company´s blue ones.

„Yes... They provided us with everything we needed." the mysterious woman explained.

„Hmm... That´s weird." Caius commented pensively.

„Pulse Fal´Cie don´t seem to care about people whatsoever."

„Well... I guess that´s a good thing." The warrior said, remembering all those horrible things that had happened in her past because the Fal´Cie had meddled with people´s lifes, had been doing so for centuries.

„You should be grateful."

Thinking about all those long winters, where people from his tribe hadn´t had enough to eat, Caius Ballad couldn´t quite agree. Being supplied with food by the Fal´Cie all over the year, to him it seemed a very comforting thought.

„You are independent... You are free..." the pink haired woman added, without giving it a second thought.

Thinking about children starving and people dying, the puple haired guardian couldn´t help but think that that freedom came at a terrible price.

Looking up at the planetoid hovering above, he wondered what living on Cocoon would be like.

The people there, they seemed so different, so dependent, so helpless, relying on the Fal´Cie to do everything for them, they sounded naive and stupid to him.

But his eyes wandering back to the pink haired woman standing next to him, he wasn´t sure that applied to all of them.

Yes, people were definitely different there.

Different, but yet so similiar.

* * *

It took them the better part of the next hour to find a herd of game that was occupied enough feeding from the lush green leaves of nearby bushes for them to get close enough to move in for a kill. With Lightning´s abysmal stalking skills, it was a miracle they had found anything at all.

From her hiding place a fair distance away, the pink haired warrior only watched as the purple haired guardian approached his unsuspecting prey.

Vanishing into the covers of the nearby bushes, Caius Ballad was a shadow.

His ability to make his way through the undergrowth, swiftly, without making any sound at all, it was a gift.

A gift Lightning could never dream of posessing.

That young small stag, merrily grazing on a tuft of herbs a little bit away from the others, it didn´t even have the time to realise what was happening, and even if, it wouldn´t have had a chance.

No, it was dead the second Caius Ballad had chosen to take it down.

That man could kill his prey with his bare hands should the need arise, there was no doubt to that. Well, thinking about it, he had probably already done this.

That predator posture, every muscle of his body flexed, ready to strike, ready to kill, Lightning couldn´t help but feel for the deer about to get slayed, couldn´t help but be reminded of all those years she had been fighting him in Valhalla.

Etro´s fallen champion, she knew so well how it felt to be on the receiving end of that man´s prey drive, had seen him ready himself to charge at her exactly like that a million times already.

It took only a few swift movements for the experienced hunter to kill his target.

The Goddess´ fallen warrior, she couldn´t help but envy the talented hunter´s skills.

His agility.

His speed.

His ability to melt into the shadows, to perfectly blend in with his sourroundings.

To become one with the steppe, with the surrounding woods.

She knew, no matter how hard she´d try, no matter how long she´d practise, she´d never be anywhere near as good a hunter as he was.

Impossible.

The sudden loss of one of their peers, causing the rest of the animals to scatter in panic, the pink haired warrior approached, watching in silence as the guardian pulled his weapon back out of the young buck´s thorax, where the iron spearhead had neatly pierced it´s heart.

„That´s a nice one..." the pink haired woman said, as she let her eyes trail over the animal´s silky hide and up to it´s small antlers, not yet as imposing as a fully grown stag´s would be.

„Thank you." the guardian replied, ridding his weapon of the animal´s juices and returning it to it´s place on his back.

„Now it´s your turn." he added, raising one of his eyebrows challengingly at the woman next to him.

Having seen enough of her hunting skills already, Caius knew she couldn´t do it.

„You think you have what it takes to be a hunter... Prove it." he added, motioning towards another clearing in the distance where the frightened deer had settled to dine again.

Contemplating her options, the pink haired warrior looked up to meet his gaze.

She knew the purple haired man expected her to fail, to back out even.

He propably thought she wasn´t up for it.

Well, she couldn´t leave it at that, could she?

„Okay." She said, a smug smile playing at her rosy lips, causing the guardian to wrinkle his forehead in surprise. But instead of drawing that hunter´s sword as he must have anticipated, she went to pull up her shirt and take out the single action revolver she had been carrying, loaded and tugged under the belt of her trousers, ever since she came here.

Checking the vicinity for prey, instead of going for the deer, she choose to aim at one of two hares, she had spied drinking from a tiny spring that miraculously forced it´s way out of the earthy forest ground not too far away.

Her hands steady on the weapon´s grip, the purple haired guardian only watched in amazement as Etro´s champion pulled back the hammer with her thumb until there was an audible second click and simply skipping the sneaking up part, she pulled the trigger.

The gun going off with a tremendous thunder, it caused the guardian to back away, the game in the distance to dash off into every direction and the birds that had been watching from the nearby branches to soar up into the skies in a flutter of wings.

Two bullets left, the warrior thought, as she saw her prey get hit, as she saw it collapse to a heap on the ground, motionless, lifeless.

Satisfied with her work, she slowly lowered the weapon and savely put it back to it´s place under her belt, before she risked a glance at the guardian again.

His dark amethyst eyes wide with shock, it took Caius Ballad a few moments to recover before tearing his eyes away from the mysterious stranger in front of him and leaving the buck he had slayed just a few minutes ago behind in the forest´s bushes, he hurried over to the spot where he had seen the bullet´s victim fall.

Kneeling down right next to it, he made to examine the animal´s head, where a small trail of blood helped him find the spot where the bullet had entered the poor thing´s skull.

Carefully inspecting the wound, the purple haired guardian couldn´t help but gape in awe.

That weapon from the future, it had felled the animal from 15 maybe 20 meters, had neatly killed it from that distance, had hit it straight in it´s head.

Never had he heard of any weapon that could accomplish such a task.

How was that even possible?

„How does it work?" the man inquired, looking up at the pink haired warrior in amazement.

Giving a tiny sigh, Lightning made to crouch down next to him. Reaching under her belt again, she pulled out the gun once more to let him have a look at it.

„Well, here you have the cylinder." the pink haired warrior started. Holding the revolver in her right hand she used her left hand to flip open the loading gate, then shifting it´s weight to her left hand, she used her thumb to bring the hammer to half cock and released the cylinder.

„This is where you put your rounds." she explained, leaning towards him to give him a better look, she spinned the cylinder and let the two remainnig bullets drop down into his waiting palm.

„These are the bullets." she said.

„Well, I used to have three, now there´s only two of them left."

Only two more shots.

That wasn´t a very comforting thought.

„The other one´s now in that thing´s head." she explained, pointing at the hare now lying at her feet. „That´s what killed it in the first place."

The purple haired guardian, he could only watch in bewilderment as Etro´s fallen champion snatched the bullets away from him to load her weapon once again, before closing the loading gate, she brought the hammer to full cock.

„Each chamber holds a round of ammunition... Well, in our case only two... Cocking the hammer rotates the cylinder to lock it in place with the chamber aligned with the barrel." she continued, indicating the revolver´s polished barrel with her index finger.

„Pulling the trigger releases the hammer, the firing pin on the hammer extends through the body of the gun to hit the primer, the primer explodes igniting a propellant which burns realeasing a large volume of gas, which´s pressure drives the bullet down the barrel and right into your target."

„Well and that´s it. Not that complicated at all."

Looking up at the guardian, staring back at her in complete lack of understanding, she couldn´t help but crack a smile. Her explanation had obviously left him completely mystified.

„Okay, look. The cartridge´s are already in there. So it´s just grasp that thing tightly, cock the hammer all the way back, take aim, pull the trigger and kill." she said and it seemed that without thinking, she placed the loaded gun into her companion´s empty hands.

„Come on, try it." she encouraged, regretting her actions immediately as suddenly she remembered who he was, that man kneeling next to her.

It was stupid, so stupid of her to hand him a weapon like that. Him of all people!

Then on the other hand, he could easily have killed her with that hunting spear of his, couldn´t he?

Thinking of it, it wasn´t exactly as if he needed a weapon to kill her at all, was it?

Well, if she were to choose, she´d prefer the bullet any day.

The guardian examining the gun with shaky hands, he only shook his head, returning it back to her immediately.

He didn´t even feel the urge to try.

* * *

It was already morning when they reached the spot in the clearing where Caius Ballad had found her.

The grassy ground warmed by the light of the summer sun slowly climbing the firmament, the purple haired hunter, carrying the weight of the young stag he had slayed earlier over his shoulder exactly like his fathers had done before him for centuries, he found it easily. That place, where he had first met her, where he had saved the pink haired warrior from that pack of Gorgonopsids, that piece of meadow, it still lay there, completely untouched, as if no time had passed at all since that terrible incident had taken place.

The purple haired guardian, he perfectly recalled everything about that day, the way the sun had been shining throught he lush green leaves, the way the air had been humid from the previous night´s rain, the way the breeze had carried the scent of herbs and earth and blood... He still knew all those tiny details, as if all of it had happened only yesterday.

How could he forget?

He had been roaming the woods, searching for supplies his sister needed for one of her remedies, when he had stumbled across her, attacked by that pack of feral beasts, he hadn´t wasted even a second taking out the one that had been climbing on top of her, threatening to rip her throat, chasing the other´s away in fear.

He still remembered the way his heart had skipped a beat when he had recognized the fearless warrior from his dreams, clad in a torn white uniform with a strange crimson cape, drenched in her own blood and badly injured, she had suddenly looked helpless and volnurable.

She had been on the verge of passing out when he had reached her.

Briefly wondering whether she could actually remember at all, Caius watched the pink haired warrior take a look at the vicinity.

He hadn´t understood at that point where she had come from.

Well, he wasn´t exactly sure he did so now.

But already then he had assumed that his dreams had somehow shown him the truth, had to be some kind of vision. And he had been right by it, hadn´t he?

Althought of course this sounded crazy, it wasn´t a concept he hadn´t heard of before. There was a whole city of people who called themselves the Farseers after all.

This way or the other.

Even back then he had somehow known he had met her before.

And as he had picked her up to carry her back to his village, in this tiny moment before she had finally passed out, that tiny moment she had looked at him, Caius Ballad could have sworn he had heard the mysterious stranger whisper his name.

But he couldn´t be sure, could he?

It was hard to tell.

It could have been anything really, with how frail her voice had been back then.

The pink haired woman now crouching on the ground, she pensively inspected the spot where she had been born into this world, into this long forgotten past. She found the earth still loose, after all those weeks, she could still find traces where the Gorgonopsid´s claws had been digging into the ground.

She didn´t know what she had expected, but somehow she had been hoping, hoping that somehow she´d find a clue of how she´d come here, of how she might be able to return, and also something else...

Something that belonged to her, something she missed, missed dearly but she couldn´t find...

Getting up to take a peek inside the nearby bushes, coming up empty handed, she couldn´t help but feel her heart sink once again.

„What is it you are searching for exactly?" the purple haired guardian asked curiously. Taking in the warrior´s forlorn expression, he couldn´t help but wonder.

„Nothing... It´s just..." she said, letting her voice trail off to give what sounded very much like a defeated sigh.

„I hoped to find Blaze Edge." She explained, turning to look at him.

He could see the disappointment in her pretty pale blue eyes, the sadness, the longing, as she raised them towards the sunny sky, pensively staring up at the small planet looming overhead, the place that used to be her home for such a long time.

Watching her expression sadden, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but feel pity for her, compassion even.

If only there were a way to make her feel better...

If only he could see her happy...

If he could make her smile for once...

If at least he knew what he had done to her, back in her past. What he´d do in his future...

If only there were a way for him to make it undone...

If he could somehow just prevent it from happening alltogether...

That last thought, it kept popping up in his head, kept haunting him.

Averting his eyes from the mysterious woman in front of him, the purple haired guardian chose to stare off into the distance instead.

He couldn´t bear to look at her any longer.

The truth was that he liked her.

A lot.

Had liked her form the beginning.

And somehow he just hated to see her suffer.

He couldn´t even begin to understand what would make him fight the pink haired warrior in the first place.

Would there be a war?

A war between Gran Pulse and Cocoon?

She had been talking about a war before, hadn´t she?

Well, it would definitely explain a lot.

A war approaching in those next few years... It wasn´t very unlikely either.

But it wasn´t exactly a comforting thought.

The picture painted by his visions, it hadn´t been a very pleasant one, right?

Swallowing hard the purple haired guardian remembered how they had fought under a darkened sky, how the the city around them had lain in ruins, without any sign of life, how the land he had glimpsed in the distance had looked infertile and barren...

If his dreams where going to come true indeed, then they were doomed anyway.

* * *

 _Sometimes,_

 _it seems,_

 _you need to get lost_ _to find your way._

 _Just beyond the horizon of the so called impossible,_

 _there lies infinite possibility._

\- unknown origin / Bryant McGill

* * *

So, another chapter spent in a long forgotten past. I hope you liked this one.

Please feel free to drop a review if you enjoy this story, it really means a lot to me. (It doesn´t matter if you have an account or not - you can always review as a guest)

Like it? Hate it?

Let me know guys!

* * *

 **THANKS FOR READING.**


	6. Chapter V: The Eyes of Etro

Caribbean Crystal Beaches - Wavelenght 128nm

 **CHAPTER V: THE EYES OF ETRO**

 _To see a world in a grain of sand_

 _and heaven in a wild flower,_

 _hold infinity in the palm of your hand,_

 _and eternity in an hour._

 _-_ William Blake

* * *

It was in the early afternoon of yet another brilliant late summer day, the sun was burning down on the Archylte Steppe as intensely as ever and the breeze rustling the drying leaves already carried a foretaste of approaching autumn.

They were sitting in front of the main building, taking refuge in the shadows of one of the huge oak trees that sat scattered all around the place, Caius Ballad, busy gutting the magnificient stag they had managed to hunt down that morning, while Etro´s fallen champion was preparing some of the left over meat from the day before for preservation.

Although she had been giving her best to make herself useful at the small hunter´s village, Lightning was still no good as a hunter.

Although she had been working hard on her deerstalking skills - had practised endlessly - the pink haired timetraveller knew she´d pobably never be able to move through the high grass as stealthily as Caius did.

Well, that man had had a several years of experience headstart.

But just because she wasn´t any good at hunting, didn´t mean the knight of Etro had been spending her time in the past sitting around on her lazy butt.

No.

Over the past few weeks, the adaptable warrior had gotten acquainted with the procedure of disemboweling the cadavers, had learned how to traditionally extend the meat´s storage life and had picked up a thing or two about Pulse´s many plants, which of them would kill you and which not – well - or at least she had a general idea.

Carefully trimming off all the visible adhering fatty tissues from the lean game´s meat, making sure to remove all pieces of skin and fat that would inevitably limit it´s edibility by going rancid over time, from the corner of her eyes, Lightning watched the purple haired guardian work on the deer that now lay propped on it´s back, held in place by two large rocks, only a few feet away.

The experienced hunter, he drew a thin shallow slit in the animal´s skin to peel back it´s hide, before starting at it´s pelvic area, he made to cut through the firm layer of muscle, all the way up to it´s jawbone, with his sharp sturdy knife, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he used the fingers of his free hand on either side of the blade tip to pull the muscle layer up and away from the organs, to ensure that the stomach and intestines weren´t punctured.

Although she had tried it herself several times already, the inexperienced stranger still wasn´t able to do it without creating a whole bloody mess and even then, it´d take her ages to complete the job.

Watching Caius Ballad do it, it looked like a simple task.

Easy.

Unchallenging.

That man guiding his blade through the cartilage at the stag´s breastbone effortlessly to allow spread the ribs for easier cleaning, he expertly cut the windpipe and esophagus in two as far up the neck as possible, to then, putting the knife aside, pull down hard, making the entrails come free down to the midsection.

Removing the stones from under the deers body and rolling the carcass onto it´s side, bringing up his knife again to swiftly slice through the diaphragm holding the innards to the ribs on both of it´s sides, the guardian to be had the entrails come out of it´s belly in no time.

The sight of the animal´s guts spilling onto the rocky ground still making her stomach turn, the pink haired warrior averted her gaze to focus on her task again.

Making sure she had the meat cleaned of most of the unpreferred tissues, she continued to slice the pieces of raw lean muscle into neat flat rectangular strips of not more than half a centimeter thickness, making sure they were all about the same size, before she got up to spread them on the nearby rocks to dry in the sweltering heat of the summer sun.

The specific uniform shape permitting the gradual and equal drying inside and out, the warrior left it to the climate of the Archylte Steppe to dehydrate them completely, making the pieces become smaller, thinner, wrinkled and slightly darker in colour, making the meat´s texture change from soft to crisp, chewy.

Sure, those methods might seem crude, but with meat being their main source of protein, preserving food by sun drying portions of the kill over the rocks was the hunters´ only way of survival, their only way to tide their tribe over in times of scarcity.

It allowed them to stay alive from season to season.

To somehow make it through winter.

Her task completed, Etro´s fallen champion turned back to the purple haired guardian, who by then was already done cleaning out the rest of the poor deer´s carcass, she now spotted hanging from a nearby tree, suspended by it´s antlers, to allow the remaining blood to drain out of the body cavity.

The diligent male using the waiting time to start on skinning, Lightning watched as he made a cut down the insides of each of the stags legs to the middle of it´s body, to then cut the skin all the way around the neck as close to the head as possible.

„Caius..." the fallen warrior softly called out to the purple haired man now busy grabbing the animal´s skin in both of his hands at the back of it´s head, about to pull downwards.

„Hm?", pausing in his actions, the guardian to be questioningly looked up at the woman next to him, encouraging her to go on with a small smile.

„I need to talk to Yeul..." The warrior said, slowly making her way towards the man who had resumed his task of skillfully peeling off the animals skin.

She had been thinking about it for quite some time now and she had come to the conclusion that it was about time.

She had spent enough of it laying low already.

She needed to do something and talking to the seeress, well, it seemed the next logical step on her mission to find a way back home.

If there was somebody out there who could possible point her into the right direction, then it definitely was Yeul.

It was her who could see the future after all.

Surely she already knew what was going to happen.

Surely she´d be able to help her out.

„Yeul?" The purple haired guardian repeated pensively, wrinkling his forehead in confusion.

Watching his small smile fade, Lightning could practically see the wheels inside his head turning, could see him racking his brain to understand what she was actually talking about.

„You mean Paddra Nsu-Yeul?!" he asked after a few moments of contemplation.

The pink haired warrior only gave a tiny nod.

„Yes... The seeres."

The Guardian´s expression thoughtful, he could ony stare back at her in wonder.

„You don´t know her?!" Lightning realised with some strange sort of curious bewilderment.

This was interesting.

Very interesting.

„Well... I´ve heard of her of course." Caius said.

„She is the leader of Paddra... They call her the jewel of the Farseers..."

„I´ve never been there though."

„Never been there?!" Lightning blurted out, kind of taken aback.

When would Caius enter the seeress´s services exactly?

And under which circumstances?

The pink haired timetraveller didn´t know.

She had already assumed that Caius hadn´t become Yeul´s guardian yet, but that he hadn´t even met her, that was something she hadn´t been prepared for.

„No... Never." the purple haired man confirmed, slightly wrinkling his forhead at the timetraveller´s obvious astonishment.

„It´s a three days´ march to Paddra." he disclosed, when the woman in front of him chose to remain silent.

„Two if you travel via Chocobo."

The experienced hunter spreading the stag´s skin for the sun to dry, he couldn´t fathom what it was the pink haired warrior could possibly want from the well-known seeress.

Considering the stranger´s mysterious background, it was probably something concerning the future.

That would make sense, right?

Well, it wasn´t exactly any of his business.

Still, the fact that the pink haired warrior was planning to leave...

He didn´t like it.

Not at all.

Although he had always guessed, had known somehow, that she wasn´t going to stay forever, still, there was that part of him that was rather reluctant to let her go.

With the both of them out in the steppe hunting for food together more often than not, busy providing the less capable residents of the small hunter´s village with food and gathering supplies for the winter, the purple haired guardian had somehow gotten used to the moody warrior´s company, had gotten used to her wary glances and her snide remarks.

It was nice to have some company besides Caine and the follow hunters for once.

And although she wasn´t treating him very friendly, although he knew they had their issues, although she really could be a piece of work sometimes, none of those circumstances did anything to diminish his interest in her.

No, if anything the cool demeanor the warrior put on whenever she sensed him around only served to make her even more intriguing.

He wanted to get to know her.

He wanted to spend time with her.

He knew he was going to miss her.

And he couldn´t just let her go, could he?

„I can accompany you... If you want me to." the guardian to be offered, casually, leaning down to pick up his knife to clean it´s blade from the animal´s juices.

„No. I can go on my own." was the promt retort.

The pink haired warrior´s gaze sternly piercing the guardian´s skull, she didn´t even give a thought to that ridiculous proposal of his.

She didn´t need him to guide her anywhere, did she?

She wasn´t a child anymore.

He´d only be in her way.

No way was she going to take him along.

No way!

The dark haired male in front of her, he only gave an incredulous snort.

„You probably wouldn´t survive a day out there on your own." he reasoned.

Glaring daggars at the annoying individual in front of her, Lightning couldn´t help but find her resolve waver.

Although she wasn´t eager to admit it, well, he was probably right.

Stripped of the Goddess´s powers, there wasn´t exactly much she could do to defend herself should she be unfortunate enough to run into anything bigger than a Gorgonopsid. She wasn´t a L´Cie anymore and even back then, she wouldn´t possibly have made it across the Archylte Steppe all on her own.

No.

They had been travelling in a group of six and still they had had a hard time traversing those lands, hadn´t they?

Walking those plains stuffed with bloodthirsty monsters, the pink haired warrior knew it was dangerous.

Very dangerous.

For a man like Caius Ballad though, it wouldn´t be much of a problem.

He knew the entire steppe inside out, didn´t he?

He knew how to avoid battle with those murderous beasts, knew how to sneak past them, knew how to act, how to react.

For him it´d be easy.

Childsplay.

With him by her side, crossing the steppe and reaching Paddra would be a walk in the park.

She´d stay out of trouble.

She´d be safe.

She´d make it to Paddra in no time.

She´d be able to find her way back home.

All of this without problems.

Without difficulty.

But could she really do that?

Could she really risk using her enemy´s helpfulness to her advantage?

Wouldn´t that kind of intervene with the timeline she once knew?

Wouldn´t that inevitably alter the chain of events that would one day make up history?

Sure, it had to.

Her mere presence here was bound to have tremendous impact on the future, wasn´t it?

Would it really make much of a difference anymore if she chose to accept his offer?

Well...

It was worth consideration at least.

* * *

 _And there I was,_

 _stranded in a land so big,_

 _so foreign,_

 _so different from everything I had ever known._

 _Lost._

 _Struggling to find a way,_

 _A way back to you._

* * *

The nights in the Yaschas Massif were calm, warm, breezeless. The area´s geography was as diverse as Etro´s knight remembered, consisting of scenic highplains, sheer escarpments and deep fault valleys with tall mammoth trees scattered along it´s many twists and turns.

The vegetation stood abundant and proud, even more so than she could recall from her visit back in the future.

With it´s bioluminescent plants, illuminating the terrain´s many pathways and the magnificient multicoloured blossoms, spreading their delicious scent, the mountainous pathways suddenly seemed so much more inviting, so much less intimidating, than they had back in the pink-haired warrior´s past.

With their Chocobos´ halters tied to one of the sturdy tree trunks, the Yaschas Massif´s mountaintops towering high above them, the two wanderers were resting around the remains of the small fire the purple haired guardian had built of some dry withered branches for the two to warm their meals.

It had burned down some time ago now, the soft glow of the remaining embers the only indication that somebody had set up camp, the land around them silent, except for the soft chirrs of some nearby crickets and the sound of flowing water, gently purling in a nearby stream, echoing off the high blank ciffs, relaxing, soothing.

With her back leaning against one of the warm smooth rocks, Etro´s fallen champion appreciated the peacefulness, the harmony, the calm, the idyll of that summer´s starry night.

She didn´t know when it had happened exactly, but sometime over the course of her stay, Lightning had fallen in love with the calmness of Gran Pulse, it´s simpleness, it´s primitivity.

The fallen warrior, she hadn´t had a chance to get acquainted with that planet´s beauty back when she had visited with the L´Cie.

Back then Pulse had been nothing but a dangerous hell, stuffed with armies of deadly enemies.

A place she had wished to leave as soon as she had arrived.

A place she had been glad to escape from, had cerntainly not been planning to return to.

How could she have fathomed that one day it´d be a place of peace, of relaxation to her?

Thinking about it, she realized she didn´t miss her life back at Cocoon, not even the comforts provided by the Fal´Cie.

No.

Not at all.

Or maybe she just couldn´t remember anymore?

Sensing the guardian to be on the other side of the fireplace changing into a more comfortable position, the pink haired warrior rememinded herself that she needed to stay alert, that she needed to watch out for him, to be careful around him, that she needn´t let the peaceful scenery lull her into a false sense of security.

No.

That man resting there just a few feet from her, he was still her enemy.

No matter the circumstances.

No matter how much he´d help her out, or how often he´d protect her from some kind of murderous beast.

Caius Ballad...

If he knew that he was helping out the one person whome he was going to fight until the end of eternity...

That person who would keep standing between him and his goals.

What would he do to her if he found out?

Well, she´d be dead in a matter of seconds of course.

There was no doubt to that.

However, she was safe for now it seemed.

Risking a glance at her former nemesis now comfortably lounging in the grass somewhere to here left, Lightning knew he had no clue.

That man once so eager to kill her, now treating her with nothing but respect and kindness, the pink haired timetraveller still wasn´t sure what to make of him.

In the end she had taken him up on his offer to accompany her on her way to Paddra, that cursed city she knew lay somewhere at the end of the twisted paths of one of those tracherous valleys, buried deep into the Yaschas Massif´s southernmost tip.

They had left for their hike two days ago, their journey leading them to the other end of the Archylte Steppe and over to the Vallis Media, the mountainous pathway that had led them away from the vast grasslands and into the darkest valleys of the Yaschas Massif, formed by shifts in the planet´s curst and centuries of erosion, past impressive rock formations and intimidating canyon´s, over to sunny clearings and even past the place the L´Cie had set up their first camp after their escape from Cocoon and emergency landing on Gran Pulse back a thousand years into the future.

That place she remembered so well.

Of course there was no trace of a crash landed airship yet.

Airships were probably not about to be built for ages.

To the pink haired warrior it felt weird, strange to visit these places again.

A hundred familiar sights, full of meaning, full of memories.

The scenery altered from the effects of time rewound, those places, they looked slightly different, different but somehow still the same.

All the tiny reminders, all those painful memories...

Etro´s fallen Champion wasn´t sure how to handle it.

Exhausted from their travel, Lightning and her purple haired companion had settled to take a rest in one of the smaller clearings, not far from where Hope had once faced his Eidolon Alexander and now that she sat there, confronted with the memories of her past, no matter how hard she tried, Lightning couldn´t keep the mental images from passing by in front of her inner eye.

How they had found the silver haired boy next to the small creek, lying there on the ground unconscious.

How once he had come around, they had decided to head for Oerba and how Hope had encouraged them to leave without him.

How he had insisted on staying behind, telling them they´d be better off without him, afraid he would slow them down and how his anguish had somehow summoned Alexander...

She had tried to comfort him, to somehow console him, but she had never been any good at that kind of stuff, had she?

No. She wasn´t even capable of consoling herself.

The thought of it making her heart churn, the pink haired warrior shoved the memory away, back deep into the darker recesses of her heart where it sat with the others, locked away, waiting, threatening to resurface whenever she came across something that would remind her of those hopeless days.

Well, she wasn´t any better off this time around, or was she?

Forcing her body to relax against the smooth surface of the rock she used as a backrest, looking up into those endless skies above, Etro´s fallen champion could easily make out the contours of Cocoon, silhuetted against the starry night.

That small planetoid above...

To her it suddenly looked empty and hollow.

Deserted.

Not as if there were actually people living up there.

„What was it like?" Caius Ballad asked softly upon following her gaze.

„Huh?"

„Life on Cocoon." he prompted.

„It was... different." the pink haired warrior replied somewhat hesitantly.

It probably was the understatement of the century.

Still, she didn´t know what else to say, how to explain, where to begin.

The guardian to be looking up at her expectantly, patiently waiting for more, he couldn´t help but wonder.

That planet up there, he had been living in it´s shadow for all of his life, yet he had never met anybody from up there, nor had anyone he knew ever been up there to tell the story.

Although it had been sitting there in the sky ever since he could remember, the purple haired guardian knew nothing about it.

A whole world so close, yet so far away.

Caius Ballad was curious.

Maybe she´d tell him something, if he was lucky.

„Instead of living in harmony with nature, people up there live in big cities..." the pink haired warrior began.

„Where here there are trees and meadows and fields, there´s only asphalt, concrete and steel. Instead of earthy tracks there are streets and instead of huts there are skyscrapers."

The mysterious female´s voice taking on a kind of dreamy quality, the dark clad hunter watched her small pink lips move slowly, forming the words carefully, as if they were coming out only reluctantly.

„The world up there, it is a futuristic paradise filled with highly advanced technology to protect it against... well against you guys." the stranger said, tearing her eyes from the planetoid above and turning her head to meet the guardian´s gaze for the first time since the beginning of their conversation, dark amethyst eyes meeting pale blue ones.

The guardian to be, he could only arch his eyebrows in astonishment.

Protect it against them?

Who?

People from Pulse?!

Surely she didn´t really mean what she had said there.

No.

This wasn´t possible.

Where in Pulse´s name would people up there get the impression that his folks´d be able to actually pose a threat to them?

How were they supposed to even reach them?!

Last time he checked he hadn´t sprouted any wings to get him up there!

„There isn´t any wildlife or something like this, well at least not where I lived." The pink haired woman continued, choosing to ignore her companion´s baffled stare.

The way the guardian had opened his mouth about to say something hadn´t escaped the pink haired warrior´s notice.

It seemed he had decided to keep his thoughts to himself however, as choosing to remain silent, he settled for listening instead.

He had every right to object, of course.

Even the thought of people down from Pulse attacking Cocoon´s beautiful utopia was ridiculous.

The high level of militarisation within Cocoon for defensive reasons was of course only a pretence, an excuse for the Fal´Cie seeking to keep the human population under tight control to supress any posibility of people warring among each other.

By exaggerating the threat of the so called lowerworld, the Fal´Cie had only crafted a lie to explain the military presence to the public population.

Cocoon´s true purpose as the Fal´Cie´s farm for human souls was of course not apparent to it´s many residents.

No.

Most of them had never thought of questioning their master´s benevolence.

Althought people were under totalitarian rule, their government had made sure to fill their world with numerous frivolous pasttimes for the humans to engage in, diverting their attention from seeking the undercurrent truth behind the floating paradise´s existence: That actually Cocoon was nothing but a sacrificial vessel of millions of human lives, maintained by the Fal´Cie to use as their means of summoning their maker back to the world.

But no.

That wasn´t something Etro´s champion wanted to talk about.

Least of all with the guardian.

She was actually glad he didn´t push the subject.

He would find out soon enough anyway.

„There are of course beasts, but small ones, nothing compared to the ones roaming the lands down here and with the help of the Fal´Cie... Well... Lets just say that there were no beasts anywhere near any of the human settlements." she continued discribing her world instead, that world she had been born and raised in, had lived in for most of her life.

„You would have to be really unfortunate to stumble across one if you behaved and stayed out of the restricted zones."

„Restricted zones?"

„Yes... Zones... Areas people weren´t allowed to venture off to... You know, like the more secluded places outside the cities or most importantly of course Gran Pulse." Etro´s fallen champion explained, answering her companion´s question with a bitter undertone.

Well, of course there was only very little reason to impose such prohibitions. Given the deep seated cultural fears of the lands below, the Fal´Cie had successfully planted into Cocoon´s citizen´s heads, nobody would even dream to venture beyond the paradise they had been presented with in the first place.

Why would they?

No...

The Fal´Cie´s betrayal, it had left a deep rift in the warrior´s heart, a wound that hadn´t even started to heal yet.

Even thinking about it made her insides churn with rage.

And it had carried a message, had taught her a lesson: Don´t believe everything you see. They muddy the water, to make it seem deep.

„So there is no vegetation whatsoever?"

For the purple haired guardian who had been brought up inmidst the uncharted wilderness of the Archylte Steppe, this was hard to imagine.

„Well there is... Somewhere... Just not in the bigger cities where most of the people dwell." Etro´s fallen champion explained, reaching out to touch an orange glowing blossom of some nearby bioluminescent bush with the tip of her index finger.

„But there is the sea... And it is beautiful." she added pensively and Caius Ballad could have sworn he saw a small smile ghost across the pretty woman´s usually guarded features.

It was gone in a matter of seconds however and, studying his companion´s face intently, the guardian to be, not for the first time, wondered what had led a young woman like her to become so reserved, so bitter.

How come he hardly ever saw her smile?

„Living on the inside of it´s outer shell, you can´t see the stars outside, the sun, the sky." she continued, drifting off into her thoughts.

„But still it is not dark inside. There is Phoenix, a whole artificial sun in the center of the sphere, providing light and warmth just like the one down here and you can see distant landmasses in the sky, visible beyond the covers of the clouds and Cocoon´s nocturnal skies are dotted with the lights of the far off cities."

„The whole planet is run by the Fal´Cie. They do everything from controlling the weather to cultivating the land and providing food and water, to keeping the world floating within Gran Pulse´s athmosphere. And then there is Eden, a floating city from where the rest of Cocoon is governed."

„Governed?" The purple haired guardian wondered.

That word it didn´t make any sense to him.

„Well, there´s the Sanctum, Cocoon´s central government. You know... Fal´Cie. They are like the leaders. They make the laws, maintain directive authority over the military and everything." The warrior explained.

„So they decide what people have to do, huh?" Caius said.

The pink haired warrior could only confirm his assumption with a verifying nod.

„Hm... Weird. Here there´s only Caine... And he isn´t even really a leader... He just takes charge most of the time." the hunter mused, shaking his head at the thought of some Fal´Cie telling him what to do, where to go, at the absurdity of such a concept.

The pink haired time traveller, she couldn´t stifle a laugh at the completely baffled look displayed on the guardian´s face.

Measuring Caine with Barthandelus...

There simply was no way to compare those two.

The purple haired guardian, looking up in surprise, he didn´t get why the pink haired warrior would actually laugh at him.

It wasn´t really a hearty laugh, more like an amused giggle.

Still, he found he enjoyed the sound of it.

He hadn´t had a chance to hear her laugh before.

Meeting her gaze with a tiny smile, he didn´t care whether it was at his expense or not.

If she was having fun, then, however stupid his statement might have sounded to her, he found a little humiliation was definitely worth the price.

„Everybody has a job, an occupation, a task you fulfill and you get paid with money so you can buy things... Things you don´t actually need... It´s crazy really." Lightning said after a little while of silence.

Now that she thought about it, she couldn´t help but shake her head at the idiocy.

The way they had been pampered in luxury, the lifes they had led...

How come they hadn´t realised something was off about all of this?

How come they had taken all of it for granted?

To receive food, and shelter, and medical care, everything they could ever have wished for and beyond, she herself had taken all of it for given.

Well, they hadn´t known any better back then, hadn´t they?

The Fal´Cie had made sure of that...

„Everybody has their own appartment, with their own bedroom and living room and kitchen. There isn´t a community like here. Of course you have friends and family, but you don´t live close with them like here... You wouldn´t even know your neighbour. You might never even have talked to the person living next to you. It´s hard to explain. Everybody leads pretty much their own lifes." the timetraveller continued, thinking about how much the Cocoon lifestyle differed from the one down here at the small hunter´s village.

„That kind of life sounds pretty lonely to me..." Caius threw in, wrinkling his forehead at the pink haired warrior on the other side of the fireplace.

„Well... It is..." Lightning couldn´t help but admit.

She had been lonely back then, hadn´t she?

Of course she had had Serah, but thinking about it, she realized she had rarely seen her. She had spend most of her waking hours out with the Guardian Corps, working to eliminate all manner of criminal activity, protect the citizens and secure their safety during times of strife.

There hadn´t exactly been much space for friends or family in her life.

„Were you happy?" The guardian to be suddenly asked out of the blue, throwing her one of those curious glances she knew so well by now.

„Huh?" The unexpected question catching her off guard, Lightning wasn´t sure what to make of it.

„When you lived up there... On Cocoon... Were you happy?" the dark clad man repeated patiently.

That wasn´t exactly an easy question to answer, was it?

And a very personal one too.

Had she ever been happy?

Now, in hindsight she knew she was supposed to have been happy. Back then, before her world had been turned upside down, before she had become a L´Cie and left her homeland to conclude her focus...

Of course she missed the comfort of those carefree days, missed Serah and the time before her parents had died, back when everything had still been alright. But had she ever really been happy back then?

She wasn´t sure.

Life wasn´t about her back then.

It wasn´t back then and it wasn´t now.

It was about her family and keeping Serah safe and making money so they both could live in fancy appartments and have all kinds of gadgets and stuff nobody actually needed.

There hadn´t been much space for happyness.

And there certainly wasn´t now.

She needed to ensure the safety of the timeline, of thousands of lifes...

But Serah had been happy back then, hadn´t she?

Lightning´s efforts had allowed for her sister to have everything she could ever have possibly dreamed of and seeing Serah happy, had made her happy too, hadn´t it?

The young woman pausing to look up at the utopia above again, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but notice how her expression sadened, how she closed her eyes and swallowed uncomfortably, before morphing her features into a perfectly guarded mask again, she turned to look at him once more.

„Yes. I guess I was."

It didn´t sound very convincing.

The guardian didn´t buy it, not even for a second.

And it didn´t surprise him in the least.

He wondered how anyone could be happy in a world like that, that sounded like a prison, like a cage to him.

A golden cage where one had no responisbilities, no worries... But no freedom.

He probably wouldn´t be able to live like that even if he was forced to.

Well, he certainly didn´t feel the wish to find out.

Why would anybody choose to live like that anyway?

Caius Ballad didn´t understand.

Why was she longing to go back anyway?

He had seen the hesitation, the uncertainty in the pink haired warriors eyes...

If she hadn´t been happy up there, then why bother to find a way to return?

Etro´s fallen guardian, sitting there on the Behemoth´s hide that made her bed for the night to come, staring into the glowing embers of the fading fire, she couldn´t help but feel her old memories threaten to resurface again.

The last few years of her mortal life back on Cocoon had been a living nightmare for her. Struggling to cope with the loss of her parent´s early deaths, working hard to get into the military, sacrificing her adolescence for becoming `Lightning´, the relentless warrior, to be able to support her sister, or maybe just to keep her mind from thinking, to give herself something to do, a purpose, to keep herself from facing her problems, her feelings, her emotions.

Bottling up her pain and hiding it away somewhere deep inside of her, it was what she had felt she had to do.

Taking on a completely new personality, it was her way to keep herself from crumbling, to keep her heart from breaking into a thousand tiny pieces.

Yes.

Although she wouldn´t let it show to anybody, her life had been far from perfect even before Serah had been turned into a L´Cie and had decided to run off with her oaf of a fiancé.

All those things that had happened there on Coccon, that had happened because of the Fal´Cie...

Although life up there was so much more comfortable, so much easier, Lightning couldn´t help but wonder whether people down here weren´t actually happier.

* * *

 _Maybe the journey isn´t so much about becoming anything._

 _Maybe it´s about un-becoming everything that isn´t really you,_

 _so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place._

\- Origin Unknown

* * *

Waking up early the next day, the first sunrays reflected off the towering mountains, tinging their tops into beautiful colours - reds, and oranges and pinks - twinkling throught the branches of the nearby trees and warming the slightly dampened grass, after a good night´s rest, the two travellers saddled their Chocobos and set off to follow the path that wound it´s way through those dark valleys and deeper into the Yaschas Massif.

With Caius Ballad resting only a few meters away from her, Etro´s fallen champion was surprised she had managed to sleep at all.

There was still that tiny voice inside her head that kept telling her how lucky she was that he hadn´t actually stabbed her with that hunting spear of his while she had been out.

Would she ever get used to this friendly version of the man who had killed her, would kill her centuries into the future?

Probably not.

With everything that had happened between them, it wasn´t exactly very surprising, was it?

It took the better part of the following day for the two of them to make it through the mountains, even with Caius taking the lead, and it was already afternoon, the sun had already started it´s long decent, when finally they reached the city of Paddra, the city of the Farseers.

Rounding just another bend of the familiar valley´s well-trodden path, it suddenly came into view, sitting there in exactly the same place as Lightning could remember.

Straight, high buildings built of chalkwhite stone, roofs thatched with dried golden straw, towering over dark paved streets, the sight of it making the completely startled woman stop her Chocobo and decend her mount to walk to the edge of the cliff on foot and stare down at what surely had to be Pulse´s largest and most prosperous city in awe.

That place that had been nothing more than a Cie´th infested archaeopolis when she had visited back in her time, with it´s impressive pillared buildings still intact, and those streets full of people and carts and booths, where merchants were busy offering their goods, it suddenly seemed to be the flourishing center of advanced culture.

Paddra.

That proud city...

She had only ever seen it in ruins.

To suddenly find it full with people, full with life...

The pink haired warrior, she couldn´t believe her eyes.

For a few moments the timetraveller just stood there, staring at the miracle in front of her in amazement, unable to keep a tiny gasp from escaping her throat.

„What´s wrong?" the guardian asked, curious what had gotten his companion so utterly amazed.

„It´s just... So full of life..." Etro´s fallen champion murmured, her voice soft, trailing off at the end.

She wasn´t sure what she had expected, she hadn´t really given it a thought, but it certainly hadn´t been anything like this.

„Well, of course it is. It´s Pulse´s largest city." Caius replied, not even caring to stifle that amused chuckle that built in his throat the second he took in the warrior´s completely dumbfounded expression.

What had she expected?

A few rotting shacks, sitting around some kind of waterhole, nestled into the dephts of some far away valley?

Of course it was a huge city with lots of people in it.

Why would she think...

Taking in the woman´s pensive stare, it didn´t take long for the guardian to catch on.

„It isn´t in your time?!" he realized, his expression changing from amused to perplexed in a matter of seconds.

The way the pink haired warrior chose to look away, to then look up again and apologetically shake her head, it didn´t need a genius to understand that whatever time would hold, it didn´t bode well for the Farseers´ metropolis.

„What... What happened?" The dark clad hunter almost didn´t dare to ask.

The pink haired female, standing next to him, she didn´t know what to say, didn´t know whether it was even safe to tell him.

„I don´t know what really happened... Only stories... Legends..." Lightning started.

Well, now that he knew that it was going to happen, she figured a little bit of explanation wouldn´t hurt, would it?

„The story has it, that at the height of Paddra´s civilisation, Paddra Nsu-Yeul, the seeress and leader of the Farseers, prophesized its destruction. But when Paddra was attacked by an Ugallu, a powerful creature meant to destroy the city, Yeul refused to accept that fate for her hometown and her people and so, breaking the law of the Farseer´s by interfering with their destiny, she sealed the monster away into the void beyond."

„The void beyond?" the purple haired guardian asked, giving her one of his questioning glances. Lightning knew that, of course, he wouldn´t know what she was talking about.

„A place beyond time and space... Beyond life and death... A space of shadows, of emptiness." Etro´s fallen champion explained, her features darkening involuntarily.

A place she knew all to well.

A place she wasn´t planning on returning to ever again.

Not if she could help it.

„However, fate couldn´t be changed, and the seeress still foresaw the fall of her nation." the pink haired warrior continued, ignoring the unpleasant feeling creeping into her bones at the memory of being trapped in that dreadful place for such a long time.

„After civil war destroyed the nation, Yeul renounced her position as both Paddra´s seeress and priestess and left to wander Gran Pulse with... with her guardian." Lightning mentally facepalmed herself.

She had nearly said `with you´.

„With their spiritual leader gone, the nation began it´s long decline until finally it vanished completely. By the time I came to see Paddra, there was nothing left of it but ruins." the pink haired warrior concluded.

Ignoring the guardians shocked expression, Etro´s fallen champion turned to move again, made to take down the path that she knew would lead them to the city´s busy streets.

She was here to talk to Yeul after all, not to hold history lessons for her companion.

There wasn´t exactly much else she could have told him anyway.

Wrapping her Chocobo´s reins around a suitable wooden post, that seemed to sit at the city´s entrance for that purpose exactly, the guardian following her example, never leaving her side, finally, a thousand years before she would come here with the L´Cie, the pink haired warrior entered Paddra´s main road for the second time in her life.

The streets that had been littered with debris and packed with dangerous beasts, waiting to rip her head off back when she had first walked them, were now a colourful mixture of people and animals, of booths and shops, of art and architecture.

Women carrying baskets on their heads filled with fruit and vegetables, customers milling all around the place, looking at the latest offers, children tugging at their long multicoloured goans and dresses and oxen pulling carriages of beautifully crafted pottery past stands of clothes and carpets, of knifes and swords and axes and bows, of bacon and cheese and bread and herbs and spices, past small cozy cafés and taverns with small round tables and chairs out on the streets and fancy patterned parasols providing shade for the customers and bouquets of flowers decorating every inch of the high building´s windowsills.

With the busy streets drowning in a sea of colour and sound and scents and impressions, making her slightly dizzy, after spending so much time in the imperturbable monotony of the Archylte Steppe, Etro´s fallen champion suddenly felt overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle around her, not quite unlike that time when she had woken up from the sensory deprivation of the void beyond.

Marveling at the city´s imaculate state, Lightning couldn´t help but wonder why Yeul hadn´t been able to avert her nation´s cruel fate in the end. If she had the power to see the future, why didn´t she intervene with the course of events just like she had done when sealing away the Ugallu?

What use was there in seeing the future, if one wasn´t allowed to interfer anyway?

Etro´s fallen champion, she had seen the future being changed before, hadn´t she?

Yes, she had on multiple ocassions.

She knew it was possible.

Even the timeline portraied in the darkened skies of Valhalla wasn´t set in stone.

Caius Ballad had changed it there, right before her eyes.

Why didn´t Yeul do something to save her people, to protect her home?

Following the main street into the heart of the city, the guardian trailing a few meters behind, curiously looking around and checking out the goods displayed at the many market stands, it didn´t take them long to find the temple of the seeress.

Reaching a small plaza with a lovely alabaster fountain, merrily bubbling in the center, they found themselves in the shadows of yet another magnificient pillared building rising up infront of them.

Stairs leading up to a beautifully ornamented doorway, covered only by a light silky veil, the Eye of Etro skilfully embroidered onto it in shiny golden threads, it was guarded by two heavy built men, at least one of whome, Lightning figured, had to be the seeress´s current guardian.

„What do you want?" The one standing to the entrance´s right asked with a rude undertone, once he sensed the two of them approach.

„Did the seeress grant you an audience?!" the one standing to the left cut in, greeting the visitors with a distrustful once over.

The grip of the burly guard´s hand resting on the hilt of his sword tightening threateningly, Etro´s fallen champion felt the purple haired hunter tense behind her, sensed him getting uncomfortable, ready to reach for his weapon as well.

Now, this wasn´t the moment for hasty action, Lightning thought.

Shooting a warning glance into Caius direction, the pink haired warrior turned back to the men infront of her, thinking hard to try and come up with something witty to say.

Of course she hadn´t been granted an audience or anything like that.

She had never even been here before.

Well not in this time at least.

„Uhm no... But..." the timetraveller started tentatively, unsure of what to say exactly, praying they´d let her talk to the seeress anyway. She had the feeling her chances were only meager at best.

But she needed to talk to her.

That was what she had taken the journey for after all, wasn´t it?

„Then leave at once!" the burly man cut her off immediately, looking ready to kick the unannounced visitors down the stairs himself, if they weren´t on their way back to the main street in a matter of seconds.

Now this didn´t go too well, the warrior thought.

Inside her chest, Lightning felt her heartrate speed up.

She was getting nervous.

What if they wouldn´t let her see her?

„No please... I really need to talk to her..." she tried again. There was just no way she´d leave this place without seeing Yeul, there was just no way she had come here in vain.

„You don´t understand! It is important!"

„I asked you two to leave!" The guard standing on the left side barked, taking out his heavy sword with only a swift motion of his giant hand and menancingly pointing it´s tip into the intruder´s general direction.

The purple haired Guardian´s hand darting to his hunting spear in the blink of an eye, it was the ethereal voice of the seeress, suddenly carrying outside through the light silky veil, causing her watchdog to lower his weapon and the hunter to stop in surprise, that averted disaster.

„Let them enter." she said, in that soft calming tone, Lightning remembered so well.

The guards exchanging curious glances and stepping aside without a word, suddenly ready to let them pass, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t believe her luck, if one could call it luck at all.

Considering whome it was she was dealing with, she´d better call it fate or destiny.

Risking a sidewards glance at the purple haired guardian standing slightly behind her, Lightning took a few moments to contemplate whether she should take him inside with her.

Maybe she´d better leave him to wait outside...

But then again Yeul had said `them´!

Signalling her companion to follow, the pink haired warrior ascended the rest of the stairs and pushing aside the veil, she entered the temple of the seeress for the very first time.

The guardian to be following hesitantly, unsure of what awaited them, the dimly lit room he had entered lying before him in complete darkness, with the small amount of light that made it past the veiled door and curtained windows, it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to his new surroundings, before his gaze fell onto the lean, petite frame of the small blue haired girl, standing with her back to the entry, busy picking at a bouquet of flowers perched atop a small pedestral rising up infront of her.

Dressed in a white halter top and a short wrap around pleated white and pastel purple skirt with a fur pelt in the back and her feet in a pair of yellow moccasins, her long bluish hair reaching down to touch her waist, there she stood.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul.

Leader of the Farseers, gifted with the eyes of Etro, burdened with the power of prophecy.

Cursed to witness the future.

Doomed to die at a young age again and again.

Only to be born once more.

Again and again.

Judging from her height she couldn´t be much older than twelve

Only a girl.

She didn´t turn around.

„Caius Ballad." the young seeress greeted her future guardian, her voice sounding as if she were somewhere far away, completely detatched from her current surroundings, as she continued to tend to the bright blue flowers sitting in a vase in front of her.

The purple haired man, he couldn´t keep a gasp from involuntary escaping his throat.

How did she know his name?

How did she even know he was here.

She hadn´t even turned to look at him.

This girl...

„I´ve been anticipating your arrival." Yeul disclosed. Finally turning around to face her visitors, she presented the completely startled male with a pretty, coy smile.

The guardian´s eyes clued to the seeress´s green ones, the intensity of her stare, the way she looked at him, as if she knew him, knew everything about him, had in fact known him for ages, it made tiny shivers run up and down his spine.

Those cold haunted eyes.

They weren´t the eyes of child.

No.

From death, over war and to the end of the world.

Those eyes had seen everything.

Their gazes locked and it seemed for an eternity that the young girl allowed herself to drawn in the guardian´s dark amethyst eyes, the eyes of that man destined to stay by her side, to protect her and love her until one day, centuries in the future, he would tear down time and space for her, only for her, to try and safe her, to free her from her burden.

Caius Ballad.

Of course she had foreseen their encounter, had known that one day their paths would cross.

She had known this ever since she could remember.

And she had been looking forward to it. Had been waiting to finally meet him, this final guardian of her´s, the one nothing would take away from her, ever. She´d been craving his company, had been yearning to be united with him for such a long time now.

And now finally he was here.

Was back here, with her.

A tiny movement registered in the seeress peripheral vision, alerting her attention to the presence of yet another person, the seeres remebered that of course he hadn´t come alone.

That woman, who had come to find a way back home...

Yeul only reluctantly made to tear her eyes away from the purple haired man in front of her.

„And you... Claire Farron..." the small girl said, acknowledging the warrior´s presence for the very first time since her visitors had entered.

„Or should I call you Lightning?"

Etro´s fallen champion just stood there, staring at the girl in front of her in awe. The seeress´ face still unveiled, with the fall of her nation still centuries away, she hadn´t cast off the crown that made her ruler of Paddra yet.

Yeul...

The warrior´s eyes caught in the mysterious sparkle of the small crystal the girl carried on a necklace resting just above her chest, she watched her take a step towards her, watched her approach.

"As of what you came to ask me, young Farron, I´m afraid I cannot help you." Yeul said.

Overwhelmed by the seeress´s otherwordly demeanor, by the way that small girl stood there in front of her, emanating nothing but raw power, pure authority, the pink haired timetraveller tentatively opened her mouth to speak, just to instantly be interrupted by the young female in front of her.

„About your fate, I cannot tell you."

„At least not yet... I´m sorry."

No!

That couldn´t be.

The Goddess´fallen Champion, she refused to believe her ears.

„But I need your help Yeul! " the knight of Etro reasoned, fighting to keep her voice steady, strong, as she felt her heart beat fast inside her chest.

„How can I possibly do this without you?!"

The timetraveller´s eyes huge, pleading, the seeress knew just how much Lightning thought she depended on her help, her guidance.

But there was nothing she could tell her now. Nothing she could reveal right now.

She knew her very words, they had the power to change history, to change the future.

There was no way she was going to risk the integrity of the timeline she had sworn to protect.

At least not yet.

„This is not the time." Yeul just stated matter-of-factly. Her features impassive, stoic, they weren´t giving any hint of her emotions, if there were any, that was.

„Telling you now could be fatal. Each change of the timeline creates new victims, spawns new tragedies." the girl insisted, speaking with a wisdom far beyond her age.

„I´m sure you of all people´ll understand."

The warrior´s rosy lips parting again to object, the seeress just silenced her with only a gesture of one of her tiny pale hands.

„I´m sorry... One day this will all make sense to you. But this day isn´t today." the seeress told her.

No.

This had to be some kind of bad dream.

This couldn´t be happening.

Yeul was supposed to help her, to support her.

„But..." Lightning started again.

„You may leave now, Lightning, oldest of the Farron sisters." the seeress said sternly, with an autority one wouldn´t expect from a girl her built even if several years older, her eyes only briefly meeting the timetraveller´s devastated blue ones, before she let them trail back to the purple haired guardian to be, intently following their conversation from his place only a few feet away.

The pink haired warrior watching the both of them stare at each other once again, barely able to resist the urge to just grab the girl and shake her, to just force the information out of her, that information she so desperately needed, Lightning couldn´t bear it to stay inside any longer.

Not caring to say goodbye, she just turned on her heels to rush outside, back to a bout of fresh air and into the blinding light of that afternoon´s summer sun.

Brushing past the guards and hurrying down the stairs, she didn´t waste a second looking at the booths as she made down the main street, back into the direction they had come from.

What had just happened in there?

Why had Yeul sent her away?

Wasn´t she supposed to help her?

What did she mean `it wasn´t the right time´?

Of course it wasn´t the right time!

She shouldn´t be here in the past in the first place!

She should be there with Serah and all of her friends, ready to move to the new Cocoon, back a thousand years into the future!

Not here in this long forgotten past, stranded without a clue of what to do...

This was just wrong...

So very wrong...

What was she to do now?

She had nowhere to go.

No indication of where to begin.

There was nobody out there to help her with this.

Nobody to guide her through this whole mess.

And there was just no way she was going to find a way back home all by herself, was there?

What if it wasn´t even possible?

What if she had to stay here until the day she died.

What if there wasn´t anything she could do at all to save the world?

To save Serah?

* * *

Excusing himself with a curteous gesture of his head, Caius Ballad followed outside at once.

Searching the busy streets for his obviously upset companion, he spotted that familiar shock of pink hair among the crowd in no time.

Matching the warrior´s fast pace the best he could, the purple haired guardian didn´t manage to catch up with her until she reached the place where they had left their Chocobos, back when they had arrived less than an hour ago.

The pink haired woman yanking the reins free agressively, the dark clad hunter could easily tell she was furious, seething with rage.

Turning her face away from him, she pretended to be busy tending to the animal the second she sensed him approach.

She was disappointed, angry.

Caius understood.

She had come all the way here to talk to the seeress, and had been sent away without anything at all.

It had to be quite frustrating, to say the least.

„Lightning..." the guardian tried, his voice low, soothing. Meaning to comfort her, he extended a hand to gently touch her shoulder.

It got slapped away instantly.

The pink haired warrior turning to stare daggers at him, her expression daring him to touch any part of her body ever again, Caius Ballad wisely chose to take a step away from her and let her mount her Chocobo.

„Listen... Let´s just return back home, okay?" He suggested, carefully looking up at her from his position on the ground.

Caius didn´t know what kind of thoughts were cursing through her head right now, but judging from the mood she was in, the thought of her running off and ditching him right here in the farthest dephts of the Yaschas Massif, in her current state it didn´t seem very farfetched.

He didn´t like the idea of it.

Not at all.

Feeling her heart twist painfully inside her chest, the pink haired timetraveller had a hard time biting back her tears.

Home...

Yes.

She wanted to go home.

More than anything.

Wanted to go back to her time, to her place, to her life...

That was why she had come here in the first place, wasn´t it?

To ask Yeul for advice.

But now that it seemed she had come here in vain, Ligthning just didn´t know what to.

She had counted on the seeress to at least point her into the right direction, to at least provide her with some kind of information that would eventually lead her to the next clue or something, but this...

She hadn´t been prepared for this.

Where was she supposed to go?

What was she supposed to do?

What if she did something wrong?

What if she unintentionally destroyed the timeline, causing the world to end up with a fate even worse than the one it was to face right now.

What if she accidentally created a timeline where she wouldn´t even be born, or Serah, or anybody...

Spuring her Chocobo to take off fast, Etro´s fallen champion steered it back onto the path they had come from, back into the cool shadows of the Yaschas Massif´s valleys and to the way that would lead them back to the Archylte Steppe.

Back to the small hunter´s village.

Back to that place her companion had so affectionately called `home´.

Well, she had nowhere else to go anyway, had she?

* * *

"So Claire, huh?" the guardian said curiously glancing over at the pink haired warrior´s gloomy expression from his place on his own Chocobo, once they had settled to a more comfortable pace.

„Why do you call yourself Lightning?" the annoying male inquired.

The guardian´s stupid questions, they certainly did nothing to lift the timetraveller´s sombre mood.

„It´s complicated..." the woman replied in a huff.

„Hm... Complicated, huh? Why don´t you try me?!" the guardian to be suggested, hoping a little conversation would at least distract her from her silent brooding.

The pink haired warrior turning her head away to stare off into the distance, she chose to just ignore his invitation though.

She didn´t want to talk to him...

Well, he was okay with that.

He understood.

That day had actually given him enough to think about himself.

The meeting with the seeress...

Well, that girl had certainly made a lasting impression on the guardian to be.

The way she had been looking at him.

Those piercing green eyes, looking right through him and straight into his very heart, his very soul...

„I´ve been anticipating your arrival," she had said.

He had figured she had spoken to Lightning at first.

But now, he wasn´t so sure anymore.

Maybe those words had been directed at him...

But naaa... That couldn´t be, right?

Still.

Her eyes had been fixed on his.

All the time.

The seeress green knowing eyes, they were haunting him.

He couldn´t get them out of his head the entire journey, couldn´t stop thinking about what their meeting might have meant, replaying their encounter inside his head again and again, until finally it was getting dark and the two of them decided to rest.

Reaching a small clearing flanked by the towering cliffs and laced with some luscious green bushes to provide them some cover, a good spot to pass the night, they descended their mounts to grant them some break as well. Their reins fastened to one of the nearby trees, the two golden brown Chocobo´s started searching for food immediately, busily picking at the dry grassy ground.

Getting out her Behemoth hide and spreading it next to the towering rock face, the pink haired warrior let her body fall to the ground and staring off into the sky pensively, she watched the guardian to be prepare a fire from the corner of her eyes.

Searching the nearby bushes for some good dry branches, he returned with his arms full of firewood only few minutes later. Building a tinder nest out of some dry grass, leaves and bark and creating a spark by scraping the back of his hunter´s knife´s blade against the small piece of flint he used to carry on him whereever he went, the experienced hunter had a small fire going in no time.

It wasn´t much, but it was enough to keep away the beasts roaming this part of the Vallis Media at night.

Risking a peek at the woman resting on her Behemoth skin next to the fireplace, her delicate hands slightly trembling and her pale blue eyes swimming in tears threatening to fall any second, Caius Ballad realised his companion wasn´t pissed anymore.

No.

She was devastated. Desperate.

They had been travelling in silence ever since he had brought up the name thing and he hadn´t bothered her any further, figuring she needed time to think, that if he just let her be, she would calm herself eventually. But now he saw he had been mistaken.

This was far more important to her than he had initially guessed.

Taking a seat opposite her on the other side of the fire, he rummaged through his leather pouch to produce two plump orange fruits he had managed to gather along their journey, handing one to his silent companion, before he made to take a bite himself.

She had to at least eat something.

He watched the pink haired warrior accept it wordlessly, watched her nibble at it´s juicy pulp tentatively, watched her stare into the fire thoughtfully.

„What was it you wanted to ask her about anyway?" the guardian tried somewhat carefully. He wasn´t sure she´d answer him at all. They hadn´t spoken the entire journey.

„I figured she would be able to point me into the right direction..." the sad eyed woman said, her gaze trained on the dancing flames in front of her.

„That she would tell me what I´ve got to do... To explain to me what I was sent here to do... What my purpose here is..." she had nearly said `her focus´.

Reminding herself that she wasn´t a L´cie anymore, her hand subconciously traveling to her chest where she knew the faded brand was etched into her skin, no longer counting down her time. Without a focus, without a task she couldn´t help but feel empty and lost.

Her focus...

That time she had taken it as a curse but now? What would she give to have the chance to rewind time and walk back into those lands with all the knowledge that she had now, with the potential to change things. Surely she would approach things differently, surely she would find a way to put everything right. She wasn´t sure about how she´d do that exactly, but well, her chances to change something back then were far better than changing anything from a thousand years in the past, right?

What if she had no reason, no purpose here?

What was she to do?

„I was hoping she could somehow help me out..." she murmured, her hand travelling up to her temple to push away some pinkish bangs that had fallen into her face.

„Help you out? What is it you need help with?" the guardian asked, unable to grasp what it was his companion was talking about, causing Lightning to stop and look at him confusedly.

The guardian using his intimidating looking hunter´s knife to cut tiny pieces out of his fruit to eat, expertly handling that potentially dangerous weapon only feet away from her, she found she didn´t care, wasn´t even tempted to look at it.

Her eyes were on his face instead.

The flames of the fire painting dancing shadows across his features, they made the edges of his face appear so much softer, made him look handsome even.

Those dark amethyst eyes meeting hers, full of concern, of sympathy, Lightning easily sensed his helpfulness, but also his ignorance.

Having no idea of what was going to happen, of what was actually going on, the man in front her was oblivous...

Oblivious of what he would be doing in the future.

Oblivious of the fact that he was talking to his future nemesis even.

She found that this way she liked him best.

Oblivious and harmless, the Caius Ballad of this time didn´t seem to pose a threat to anybody.

„I figured she might be able to help me find a way back home." Lightning explained, somehow wishing he could understand, wishing that there were just someone, anybody, who could understand what she was going through.

Allowing herself to drown in those kind, sparkling eyes, she realised she was glad he was here with her nonetheless.

Glad that at least she had somebody here with her, that she wasn´t all alone.

Even if it was only him.

Him of all people.

„I need to find a way back, Caius." she said, her voice braking as she realised she was about to cry, fear starting to creep into her voice. That fear she´d been hiding there right behind the facade of her calculated calm exterior, that had been lurking there, barely inches from the surface, had been doing so all the time. It now forced it´s way outside and bled into her words.

What had she done to deserve this?

To end up in this place, feeling lost and sad and angry, going crazy in this far away past.

Far away from anything she had ever called home.

Far away from anyone she knew...

Accept of course him.

Him...

She wouldn´t allow herself to cry in front of him.

No way.

She hadn´t let anybody see her cry in years and she definitely wouldn´t lose it infront of her worst enemy.

Caius Ballad.

Caius...

Studying her companion´s gentle features over the flames of the fire, for what surely had to be for the thousandth of times, Lightning couldn´t help but wonder how much different he was from the one she once knew, had met in Valhalla seemingly aeons ago.

His eyes full of sympathy of understanding, the pink haired timetraveller suddenly realised she - somehow, mysteriously - precieved his presence as settling, soothing. That having him near her strangely calmed her.

He was the only person on this whole planet in this whole time she knew, after all.

The only familiar face...

The only link to connect her to her past, to tie her to reality.

Weird, how suddenly he was the only thing in her life that made sense.

Her anchor.

His presence the only thing that kept her from loosing her mind, from going cracy, from loosing it completely.

Ironic.

And insane.

No.

Caius Ballad was her enemy!

And she´d do good to remember that.

For that man sitting there in front of her meeting her with nothing but kindness...

He was dangerous.

Very dangerous.

She´d do no good, falling in the trap of trusting him.

The subject of her musings studying her features with concern with sympathy, Caius Ballad had a hard time resisting the impuls to just reach out and touch her, to take her in his arms.

Watching his companion´s tough shell crumble, he realised it pained him to see her like that.

Sad and hopeless and lost.

All traces of the fierce warrioress he had fought in his dreams gone, she suddenly seemed helpless and vulnerable.

But Caius Ballad knew better than to try and comfort her.

He knew she wouldn´t want that, knew how it would hurt her pride.

She wouldn´t let him anyway and it´d only serve to make her angry.

The guardian understood that the pink haired warrior had been hoping for Yeul to help her find a way to return to the future.

But still, there was something that he didn´t get.

Sure she wanted to go home, return to her time, to her friends and family, to her life. But why get all worked up about it?

How far did she travel back exactly?

Like maybe 5 years?

It couldn´t be much more, could it?

No.

Impossible.

Judging from what he had seem in his dreams, the time she had come from, where there battle would take place, he couldn´t be far off.

He hadn´t looked much older there, had actually looked almost exactly the same as he did now, just wearing some strange armour and brandishing some insanely huge sword, meaning that whatever time she had once come from, it wouldn´t take long until she´d be able to continue there, right where she had left.

She could just stay here, stay with them at the small hunter´s village in the Archylte Steppe, stay with him. It wouldn´t be that bad, would it?

Sure it wasn´t great, the prospect of wasting 5 years with waiting, but it certainly wasn´t the end of the world right?

No reason to loose hope like that.

Maybe she wasn´t as fierce and resolute, as tough and calculated as he had pictured the woman from his dreams to be.

„If things come worst, you could always wait it out. Couldn´t you?" the guardian said in an attempt to console her. Maybe she hadn´t even considered this in the first place.

„I mean it´s not that bad... How many years did you travel back exactly? Five at top?!"

The woman sitting on her Behemoth skin facing him, she could only give an incredulous snort.

Averting her eyes, her gaze trained to her feet on the ground, Etro´s fallen champion took a few minutes to contemplate on what to saw, before finally she made to look up at him once more.

„Cant say for sure... More like a thousand years..."

Her words were soft, barely a whisper. Her eyes were glassy, swimming with her unshed tears.

Caius Ballad couldn´t do much else than stare.

„Guess I won´t be able to sit that out, will I?" she added dryly, rendering the man sitting in front of her completely speechless.

Well.

He would of course.

That much she knew.

Knew for sure.

He was the reason all of this had happened in the first place.

He was the one who had sworn to destroy the word, the one to kill her and unleash the Chaos, the one responsible for her being stranded in this long forgotten past.

It was him.

He was the one to blame.

Unable to look at her future nemesis any longer, the pink haired warrior choose to stare into the distance again, up at the pale white sphere of Cocoon, where she wasn´t to be born for hundreds of years.

Feeling his heart give a tiny painful twitch, the purple haired guardian, he didn´t know what to do, what to think.

Oblivious to the timetraveller´s predicament, instead of making her feel any better as he had intended, he had only managed to make her feel worse.

He had acted like a complete jerk.

With her coming from a thousand years in the future...

Well, that was something else entirely.

How could he have guessed?!

But wait...

If indeed she had come from more than thousand years into the future, that meant he had misunderstood, had miscalculated everything!

He had always figured, that in her past, their fight had already happened, but no...

It was yet to come of course... for both of them.

But then, how did she get to know about it?

Maybe there was really going to be a war between Cocoon and Gran Pulse.

Maybe they would fight on opposite sides.

Maybe she had learned of all of this from history.

Or maybe...

Just maybe...

She had had a vision too?!

Caius still couldn´t fathom why he´d fight her.

The thought of it, the knowledge that eventually, one day, he would, it left a bad feeling behind in his guts.

Their battle, it hadn´t been a competitive challenge or a comradly spar either.

No.

It had been a duel to the death.

And worst, he didn´t know how it would end!

Would he kill her?

Would he even be able to, now that he had gotten to know her? That he had gotten to like her?

Well, if his life depended on it...

If he hadn´t had a choice...

Maybe...

But no...

He wasn´t so sure.

He didn´t know whether he had it in him to kill anyone really.

Would she?

„So how does our fight come in? Will there be a war?" the guardian asked, his eyes monitoring his companion´s every movement, it didn´t escape his notice how she fidgeted with the remains of her fruit, unable to meet his gaze.

The dark clad hunter, he instantly sensed how much it pained her to talk about it.

She already knew how it would end.

That much was for sure.

Would he hurt her?

Was that why she always eyed him like a hawk? Why she always kept him at an arm´s lenght, like he´d explode and transform into some weapon of mass destruction any second?

Would he kill her?

„Judging from the looks of Cocoon..." the pink haired warrior started tentatively, just to let her voice trail off again.

„There will be a war where it´s outer shell is broken..." she began anew.

„That war was about 700 years ago, back from when I left. The war of transgression..."

„It doesn´t look like this is about to happen for some time now though... Probably not for the next 200 years." Lightning mused.

Maybe it was dangerous to tell him that.

But no.

It didn´t matter.

There was no way he could change that anyway.

The purple haired guardian looking up at the small planetoid above, held up there floating in Pulse´s athmosphere by the power of the Fal´Cie, he couldn´t help but swallow hard as he had his worst assumptions verified.

So it was true then.

A war between Cocoon and Gran Pulse, he figured they would clash swords there.

It fit.

The scenery his dreams had painted, it had shown a land destroyed, a city destructed by the fires of war.

She had to have her facts wrong though.

That war, it would come soon.

Far sooner than she thougth!

He could tell.

It had to.

Considering they had both looked young inside his visions, that war, it already stood waiting at their doorstep.

The pink haired timetraveller, glancing over at the guardian´s features etched with concern, she couldn´t fathom what was going through his head.

And she certainly didn´t care.

Etro´s fallen champion, she had her own worries to mull over, her own problems to solve.

If she really managed to find a way back to the future, if she really had the chance to go back home...

Would there even be a way to set things right?

* * *

 _One day, Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree._

„ _Cheshire Puss, would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"_

„ _That depends a good deal on where you want to go,"_

 _was it´s swift Response._

„ _Well, I don´t know."_

 _the girl replied._

„ _Then", said the cat, „It doesn´t matter."_

\- Lewis Carroll (Alice´s Adventures in Wonderland)

* * *

 **Oh Serah, will I ever find a way back home?**

* * *

Thanks for reading again guys! I hope you like the story so far and that it isn´t getting too boring! (I can never tell since you guys aren´t giving me any feedback at all!)

I promise there is going to be a little bit of action in the next chapter, although not very much as this is supposed to be romance - so be prepared for a little more of that too!

Please stay tuned!


	7. Chapter VI: Of Men and Monsters

So my dear readers, herewith I am happy to present to you the next chapter of The Eternal Paradox, which also coincidentally happens to be the one I enjoyed writing the most!

Yes, although it is by far not the most important neither most intense chapter of this story, it still is my favourite so far and probably will be until the end. Can´t tell you why, I´m just in love with the last part of this chap ;)

Anyway, I hope you like it as well.

Also I want to thank all my new followers and to favourite adders, as well as those brave people who had the guts to review my last chap;)

And those who´ve been with me from the very beginning, I want to thank for their continuous support!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I love you guys so much.

You really keep me/this story going.

 **This is for you, ENJOY IT!**

* * *

(I really listened to many songs while writing this, mainly the „Sanctuary of Zi´Tah" for the first part and „Not Tomorrow" - Lisa´s theme from Silent Hill 1 for the very last part. I know – crazy – but I just love this song, give it a try.)

* * *

 **CHAPTER VI: OF MEN AND MONSTERS**

 _When your plans fail,_

 _your real story begins._

\- Kyrati Proverb (FC4)

* * *

„Caius! Lightning! There you are!"

It was Cara Ballad´s voice, carrying over from amidst a whole crowd of people, busy erecting some wooden construction that looked a lot like a gazebo on the first floor platform of the hunter´s village main building. Abandoning her current work on one of the many garlands, women from the tribe were eagerly braiding out of heaps of local wild flowers, she got up from her place on the floor to meet them at the top of the stairs.

They had just arrived, Lightning and Caius, back from their journey to Paddra and somehow Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t shake off the feeling that the purple haired beauty sounded relieved to see them.

„I was already worried you two wouldn´t make it back in time. Come on!" the older Ballad said, gesturing for them to come up onto the platform.

Dressed in her usual worn out dirt coloured shorts/top combination, she waited for them next to a bunch of middle aged men who were about to arrange what seemed to be all the chairs and tables and benches that could be found in the entire village. With her long purple hair put up into a neat bun, Lightning could see the whitish lines of the scar now prominently sitting on the nurse´s left cheek, glistening in the summer sun – that souvenir of their first encounter. Although it had been weeks already, the ugly mark gave no indication of fading any time soon.

The two travellers ascending the wooden stairs to meet her, the older woman immediately flung her arms around her brother´s neck to tackle him with a tight hug, then took a step back to give him a critical once over to check whether he was okay indeed, before turning to the pink haired warrior, she proceeded to greet her with a hug as well.

„I´m so glad you two made it back alright." she said, meeting the pink haired female´s confused gaze with one of her kind smiles.

Cara knew those two were able to look after themselves, of course, but still, the Yaschas Massif wasn´t exactly the safest place for a stroll.

Nobody knew what dangers could lie in wait for you behind it´s pathways many twists and turns.

„Imani and Kenji are finally getting married!" the middle aged woman suddenly reveiled, gesturing at the crowd of people behind her, busy helping with what now turned out to be the preperations for the wedding ceremony.

„For real this time?!" Caius asked, sounding somewhat sceptical and raising one of his eyebrows at his sister´s words in disbelieve.

Following his gaze to the lucky couple standing on the other end of the platform, their hands entwined and happy smiles plastered all over their faces, Etro´s fallen champion easily recognized the groom with the short black hair as one of Caius´ hunting buddies. The one she had seen him talking to on that same platform the day she had asked the guardian for a weapon, the one she had seen around her companion plenty of times since then.

Kenji, then.

Well, she had never been very good at remembering names, had she?

Leaning against Kenji´s shoulder, with an excited smile on her face, was a fair haired woman dressed in a shabby brown dress, whome Lightning didn´t know, had never even noticed before.

Imani and Kenji...

They sure looked happy together, didn´t they?

Lightning really could care less.

She had been out in the wildlands, travelling for the past four days, without a bed to sleep in and without a chance to freshen up.

Painfully aware of the way her hair was sticking to the back of her neck and her baggy clothes clung to her body in the opressive heat of the late summer´s sun, with her back aching from all those nights spent on that Behemoth hide as her only means of a mattress, and her legs stiff from spending so much time on the back of her Chocobo, the pink haired warrior knew she really could do with some rest.

Yes.

She had everything mapped out already.

First she´d go down to the river to take a bath, put on a pair of freshly washed clothes and then she´d head straight back to Cara´s hut and crawl into her small cozy bunk, where she´d stay for the rest of the day.

End of the story.

Just a nice, lazy day she´d spend in bed with the rest of the world locked out...

Her plans were dwarted though the second her nemesis´ sister opened her mouth to speak again.

„Yes she finally accepted his proposal!" Cara announced, grinning like a maniac.

„The feast starts at sundown. I need you guys to help with the preperations!"

The fallen warrior giving an audible groan, she sent a pleading look into her hostess´direction. One that was straight out ignored, as turning to speak to her brother again, the nurse went on:

„I need you two to go out into the steppe again and gather some game for the feast. The last day´s kills weren´t exactly our greatest. With both of you gone we were two hunters short after all!"

The purple haired guardian giving a long contemplative sigh, he silently readjusted his hunting knife´s holster before he nodded his head in agreement.

Looking at his face, Lightning could tell he was tired too, but well, this was important, at least to his people.

She understood.

„Caine is already out with some of the others, but I´d rather know the two of you out there as well, just to be on the safe side." Cara explained, presenting the both of them with an appreciative smile.

„Alright." the guardian gave in.

Standing right between them, letting her head hang in defeat, Etro´s fallen champion had no other choice but to accept her fate.

She didn´t seem to have a say in this.

None at all.

* * *

It was only about an hour later, that after taking a little break and grabbing a bite to eat, the two of them were back on their feet and out on the plains again.

They had been scouring the fields for ages, or so it seemed to Lightning at least, with most of the game hiding away this time of the day, with the sun standing high in the sky already, finding something to prey on wasn´t exactly an easy task.

Ascending one of the landscape´s gentle hills, where the dry khaki grass was especially high, growing up to her forehead and obscuring most of her view, barely able to resist the urge to just lay down and take a nap right where she was, Etro´s fallen champion followed the guardian´s lead up to the top, where there was a small rock formation, waiting for them to be climbed.

With the high culms of grass impairing their vision, it was a most welcome oportunity, a good location to keep track of what was going on in the steppe below, a good place to spy on game.

Well, Caius Ballad was already familiar with it, had already known it was there, of course.

That probably had been the reason why they had had to make their way up that blasted hill in the first place.

The pink haired warrior, her legs tired and her feet hurting already, she patiently waited in her place on the ground while the purple haired hunter made to conquer the rocks on his own.

What she needed was a bed, not a bouldering session.

„Can you see something?" she urged, unable to stifle a yawn.

Oh, how much she wished they´d just find something already so they could go back to the village and finally take a nap.

„Red deer... Lots of them." the guardian informed her, sounding slightly relieved himself.

Well, it can´t rain everyday, right?

Unable to believe their luck, the pink haired warrior made to join him on the rocks to take a look herself.

„If you don´t make a racket as usual we might as well have the chance to -" the guardian who had been about to tease her again, suddenly stopped.

His eyes scanning the steppe around them warily, Etro´s fallen champion felt the man next to her tense, saw his right hand shoot to the hunting spear strapped to his back.

„What´s wro -" the pink haired warrior began. Her companion instantly silencing her with a signal of his hand, she had no idea what it was that had suddenly gotten him all defcon one.

But whatever it was, it couldn´t be anything good.

Lightning knew that although up until now they had somehow, miraculously managed to sneak through those vast plains completely undedetected, the people from the tribe were by no means the only ones hunting out there.

Those vast grasslands stuffed with bloodthirsty beasts, every sound, every movement out there could indicate the presence of a potential predator.

Her hand instinctively reaching for the hilt of her sword, scanning the grass behind them for any sign of an attacker, Etro´s fallen champion felt her heartrate accelerate, felt her breathing deepen, felt tiny pearls of sweat break out on the back of her neck, as for a few unbearable moments she stood there, every cell of her body on high alert, dreading whatever it was the guardian had sensed out there hiding in the blades of grass behind them, waiting for it to attack.

„Might´ve been nothing." the guardian said after some time. Keeping his voice low and looking around warily, Lightning couldn´t help but notice how he didn´t relax the grip on his weapon.

„Anyway... we might get the chance to -"

It happened fast.

There was a rustle of grass and before she had even had the time to register what was going on, the guardian had already thrown himself into fighting stance in front of her protectively, ready to fend off whatever might come pouncing at them from the surrounding wildlands.

There was a rustle of dry grass and it was only a second later that the high culms parted and three men emerged.

Three massive guys, armed with spears and knives themselves, their skin a slightly darker complexion, tanned from endless days spent out on the plains, leading the group was nobody else but Caine, sporting nothing but a pair of dirty grey shorts already worn to threads and a derisive smirk.

The hunters tribe´s tatto sitting on his bare chest like a bull´s brand, the pink haired warrior´s eyes exploring the sturdy man´s impressive upper body, she couldn´t help but notice that albeit his many tiny scars, albeit his hard angular features, Caine Ballad looked attractive.

„Lower your weapon brother, you couldn´t protect your new girlfriend against me even if you tried." the older Ballad teased, his chest rumbling with a mocking chuckle as he took in the flustered state of the completely startled couple, his group had so skillfully managed to sneak up on.

The two men flanking their leader snickering in agreement, Etro´s fallen champion instantly recognized them as some of the other hunters from the tribe, people she didn´t know at all, hadn´t felt the wish to talk to ever since she had arrived.

No.

She had been eager to avoid any social contact, besides Caius and Cara that was, firstly because she figured the less she´d talk to anybody the less she´d meddle with the timeline and secondly because she had never been a very social type of person to begin with.

„Caine..." the guardian greeted his brother somewhat warningly, his voice suddenly carrying a hard undertone, completely devoid of the kindness, the warmth Lightning had gotten used to hear from him by now, it faintly resembled the way she had heard him talk to herself back in Valhalla.

The way he had thrown his words at her as if they were deadly knifes, she remembered it all too well.

The memory of it sending tiny chills down her spine, it was a silent reminder of the things she knew had yet to come, of all those things she knew she´d do good to remember, of the fact that the man she had grown to accept as her companion would one day turn into her bitter enemy.

The guardian´s tone leaving his older brother completely unimpressed, Caine just waited for the younger man to get himself together, until, instead of transforming into the monster from the timeless realms, Caius Ballad just lowered his gaze to his feet and let the arm carrying his weapon slowly drop to his side in defeat.

Good.

Caine already knew his brother´s antics, knew how much the guardian was loathing him, knew his weaknesses, all his flaws, knew him inside out, and although he enjoyed to play with Caius´ feelings a little here and there, right now – regrettably - there was no time for this.

They had some prey to kill after all.

The hunter´s leader satisfied, he briefly let his eyes travel over to the woman hiding there behind his brother, before he turned back to face his comrades once again.

„Come on guys... Let´s show the girl some real hunters at work." Caine suggested, before he turned back to present his little brother with a contemptuous sneer.

„Are you in bro?" he asked, challengingly raising one of his eyebrows at the purple haired man in front of him.

„Or are you afraid of losing face in front of the lady?" the older man added tauntingly, before turning back to the pink haired warrior, he gave what she perceived as a mock bow.

Staring up at the older Ballad now cocking his head at her in what could only be described as a tauning way, Lightning couldn´t help but feel her dislike for that man grow.

It seemed that just like his little brother, this man was a pain in the arse as well.

The purple haired guardian to be standing next to her, he only sighed in defeat.

„Sure, I´m in." he finally said. Taking a small step forwards he earned some curious glances from the men lingering behind his brother.

He already knew Caine´s games of course.

Knew how much Caine loved an opportunity to show off his skills, to best him, knew that if Caine wanted to play, he had only very little choice but to play along.

Resistance was futile.

Caine Ballad always got his way.

This way or the other.

Plus, there was no way he was going to back out from a challenge in front of Lightning.

If Caine wished to make a contest out of this, then he´d better come prepared.

Looking the guardian up and down appreciatively, the shirtless man moved in to take away his younger brother´s hunting spear and in addition to his own, handed it to the pink haired time traveller, who intent on keeping out of their brotherly banter, had been careful to stay in the background.

„None of these... Only those good old knives... Just like in old times." Caine said pointing at the guardian´s hunting knife dangling from his belt. Patting his younger brother on the shoulder in a taunting way, he made sure Caius wasn´t carrying any other weapon with him, before finally he turned back to the pink haired stranger once again.

„You better stay back and watch how its done." he warned, presenting the girl in front of him with one of his derisive smirks again.

His gaze lingering on the pitifull female´s slender frame, Caine couldn´t help but shake his head in irritation.

She really was a bad excuse for a hunter.

He didn´t understand why his stupid little brother had to drag her out into the steppe every other day anyway.

To him she seemed of no more use than a dead Long Gui chained to his ankle.

Caine Ballad and his team had spent the better part of the day out on the fields searching for prey and now that they had finally spotted that herd of deer, there simply was no way he´d risk that girl to ruin everything.

So, leaving the pink haired warrior behind to wait right where they had met, armed only with their forefather´s hunting knives, the four men made their way down the gentle slope of the hill and towards the herd of game they had been stalking all day.

Lightning wasn´t exactly sad.

She was in no mood to do some hunting anyway and even less to make a total fool out of herself infront of the others should she fail to land a kill again.

Staying behind at the top of the hill, she made herself comfortable on the top of the tiny rock formation. A silent observer, as the others snuck away and vanished into the tall, high grass, the pink haired warrior appreciated the opportunity to give her tired legs some rest.

And it was there from her save spot on her rocky look-out, that Etro´s fallen champion saw Caius Ballad hunt for real this time.

Him and Caine and the others.

Watched them become shadows, become one with the steppe.

Seeing those men sneaking through the high grass, their trained bodies moving through the culms without making any sound at all, with all of them having their shirts off except for Caius, to reveil the muscles of their backs tensed, ready to bring down their prey with little less than their bare hands - it easily qualified as one of the most animalistic things Lightning had ever seen in her life.

And she couldn´t help but think that it was sexy.

Savage, yes... But incredibly sexy.

A well established team, working like a well-oiled machine, they had two well grown stags seperated from the group in no time. And the pink haired warrior could only watch in awe as jumping onto the animal´s backs and wrestling the things down with the weight of their bodies the two men went in for the kill.

Caine managing to slay his first, he punched the air with a triumphant smirk plastered onto his face.

The older Ballad though, she didn´t grant him much attention.

Her eyes were on the guardian to be instead, as after managing to bring his stag down with difficulty, he used the blade of his slightly curved hunting knife to brutally slit the poor thing´s throat.

Just like he had slit her own all the way back in Valhalla...

Seeing the blood pouring from the deep, long gash in the animal´s neck, Lightning couldn´t help but cringe.

That horrible memory making her blood run cold, although not fresh in her mind anymore, it was there none the less, sitting right beneath the surface, waiting to be triggered.

Making her way down to meet the others at the foot of the hill, she hastily pushed it away.

This was not the time for this.

Nor the place.

* * *

 _It all begins and ends in your mind._

 _What you give power to,_

 _has power over you._

 _If you allow it._

\- Origin Unknown.

* * *

They had a hard time getting their kill back to the village. With the full-grown red deer´s bodies significantly heavier than the occasional buck or doe they would normally bring home, plus the couple of hares the three hunters had slayed earlier, dragging their hunt back through the high, dry grass was far more laborious than the knight of Etro would have thought.

Tying the deer to two long poles, one of Caine´s follow hunters eagerly cut out of a nearby tree´s lower branches, suspended by their legs, the four men carried them all the way back on their shoulders. With Caine and Caius leading the way with the one Caine had managed to take down, the other two carrying Caius´ kill following close behind, it was on Etro´s former champion, carrrying the hares and trailing a few meters behind, to bring up the rear.

Already looking foreward to the cozy bunk waiting for her back at the village, back at Cara´s hut, forcing herself to set one foot in front of the other, in lack of having someting else to do, the pink haired warrior made to listen to the pieces of conversation wafting over from the two nameless hunters walking there in front of her.

„I´m so looking forward to the feast! Can´t wait to get my hands on a piece of old Moni´s delicious cake." the first one said somewhat longingly as he looked back over his shoulder to meet his colleague´s gaze.

„Do you think we´ll make it back in time to watch the ceremony?"

The pink haired time traveller´s eyes wandering to the men carrying the deer in front, she could only hope that his question was meant as a joke.

Surely, they would reach the village soon, wouldn´t they?

She was expecting to see it´s huge wooden walls rise up from behind the high grass any time now.

Although she by no means knew the place as good as the hunters did – with nothing but grass and and hills around it wasn´t exactly hard to loose orientation there - this part of the steppe did seem familiar to her.

Very familiar.

No.

It couldn´t be far any more.

Willing her tired legs to move, privately praying for this hike to finally be over, Etro´s fallen champion silently trailed after the others, watched the dead dear´s head sway back and forth.

Back and forth.

It´s dead unblinking eyes staring at her, blood still oozing from the gash the guardian had cut into it´s throat, the pink haired warrior couldn´t help but feel her empty stomach turn.

Directing her gaze at the soothing calm of the surrounding wildlands instead, she quickly diverted her thoughts from those ugly memories threatening to resurface again.

She´d rather not face them.

Not now.

Not if she could help it.

„Can´t tell for sure... If we keep moving at a crawl like this, we´ll hardly make it back in time for desert." the second hunter replied in a sarcastic tone.

The first one giving an incredulous snort, there were a few minutes of silence before he opened his mouth to talk again.

„Imani and Kenji, huh?!" The burly hunter mused before giving a tiny sigh and shaking his head in disbelieve.

„Who would have thought..."

His companion stopping for a brief moment to shift the weight of the dead deer´s carcass to his other shoulder, he only gave stupid grin.

„Let´s see how long they manage to stay together this time."

That comment of his earning a chuckle from the man in front, Lightning couldn´t help but think that whatever kind of relationship today´s bridal couple had been leading, it didn´t sound like a very promising one.

Well, it was none of her business.

None at all.

„Caius seems to take it well, don´t you think?" the first man said after a little break, motioning at the back of the purple haired guardian, walking a few meters ahead.

The pink haired warrior pricking her ears at the mention of her companion´s name, eager to hear more, afraid to miss anything, she picked up her pace, made to get closer to the men in front.

They wouldn´t have much time to discuss this topic.

They were nearly back at the village now.

Standing on the tips of her toes, Lightning could already see the top of the main building rise up behind the steppe´s dry khaki culms.

„Naaa... Caius doesn´t care. It was him who turned her down after all!" the hunter closest to her assured.

What in Etro´s name where they talking about?

„Yeah you´re probably right." the first agreed.

„Well, it´s nice to see that Imani has finally gotten over him. Don´t you think?"

Gotten over him...

What was that supposed to mean?

Wait...

Caius and Imani?!

Had the guardian to be had something going on with that pretty fair haired woman Kenji planned to marry that night?

Could that really be?

It somehow felt hard to believe.

The two hunters in front of her abruptly coming to a halt, Etro´s fallen champion completely lost in thought, she ran straight into them.

„What in Pulse´s name -" the one standing there in front began, the make shift pole he had been carrying on his shoulder sliping from his grip, he let the stag crash into the ground head first.

„Behemoths!" Lightning suddenly heard Caine Ballad shout and it was just in time too. One of the giant beast lunging at them out of nowhere, the pink haired warrior barely had the time to dodge the blasted thing going for the freshly slayed stags.

The four hunters infront of her dropping their load and rushing off towards the village, their kills left on the ground completely forgotten, with her vision cleared now, suddenly she saw it too.

A pack of Behemoths, going straight for the village, the huge wooden doors opened widely to welcome them with open arms, with most of the guards busy helping with the preperations, they managed to force their way to the other side of the tall wooden walls almost completely undetected.

The exhaustion and fatigue of the past days suddenly completely forgotten, the pink haired warrior dropped her hares to fall into a run herself. Her breath coming in small erratic puffs as she sprinted towards the hunter´s small village, her eyes scanned the vicinity for more of the bloodthirsty beasts bringing nothing but death and distruction to that place she was slowly starting to call her home.

Passing the wooden gate in seconds, two of the Behemoths went straight for the small herd of sheep corraled in in one of the tiny paddocks right next to the main street.

Breaking the wooden fence effortlessly they were inside there in no time.

Those couple of animals, merrily grazing in the peaceful afternoon sun, they hadn´t even seen them coming.

And there was another one, going straight for the Chocobos.

Helplessly squeaking, caged in in their pen, without any means of escape, the poor things could do nothing else but watch as the murderous beasts came to fill their growling stomachs.

The guardian and his brother hurrying over to defend what was left of their livestock, Lightning only watched in horror as yet another of the giant beasts made it´s way down the main street and towards the main building, towards all those unexpecting people preparing for the wedding ceremony.

With the other two hunters busy attacking the beasts raiding the Chocobo stables, there was noone left to stand in it´s way.

 _Shit..._

The experienced warrior´s sharpened senses taking only a few moments to asess the situation, drawing her old hunter´s sword, she found herself right behind the Behemoth in a matter of seconds.

And it was without thinking, that, completely on auto pilot, she threw herself at the beast infront of her.

No way was she going to let that thing pass down to the main building.

Watching his timetravelling companion´s actions from the corner of his eyes, Caius Ballad busy fighting his own handfull of Behemoth, he couldn´t help but feel his blood run cold.

What was she doing?!

Was she really planning to take that thing on all by herself?!

For a woman her built this was more than stupid.

This was suicide.

Overcome with the urge to hurry to her aid, the protective male almost forgot he had one of those beasts to slay himself. The Behemoth landing a nasty blow to his ribs with one of it´s giant front paws, the impact almost forcing him to his knees, Caius Ballad had a hard time contentrating on his own battle.

Silently cursing the foolish females hasty actions, he brought up the sharp end of his hunting spear to create a deep gash in the hide of the Behemoth´s side.

With that bloodthirsty beast in front of him intent on biting his head off, there was nothing he could do to help her now.

Not until he had gotten rid of it.

 _Damn._

He needed to get done with this quickly, so he could help her out with her´s before it would manage to rip her to pieces.

Risking another glance at the pink haired warrior on the other end of the street, prepared to find her drowning in a pool of blood already, to his surprise, he saw that she was doing alright, much better than he actually had expected.

The cunning female attacking the beast from behind, going straight for the soft tissue at the back of the predator´s hind legs where Caius knew it´s tendons ran right beneath it´s skin, she´d have the giant beast down on the floor in a matter of seconds.

 _Clever._

The purple haired guardian, he couldn´t deny that he was impressed.

That mysterious stranger, she really prooved a much better fighter than a hunter.

A well aimed slash at the Behemoth´s calcaneal tendon and the beast collapsed onto it´s hind legs indeed.

Etro´s fallen champion, she almost couldn´t believe her luck.

The injured creature giving a bloodcurdling roar, it started trashing around wildely with it´s remaining legs, started snatching the air for the unexpected attacker with it´s terrifyingly long teeth.

The pink haired warrior, she evaded the animal´s paw´s deadly blows easily.

With the thing stranded on it´s butt, it wasn´t exactly hard.

Deciding not to waste any more time, she put it out of it´s misery with a well aimed blow of her hunting sword, before, not loosing any time at all, she hurried after her next target, a slightly bigger female she saw rounding up a bunch of people another fifty meters down the road.

That one putting up a rather impressive fight, the pink haired warrior wasn´t so lucky this time.

The beast tackling her with it´s relentless attacks, without any other tricks like the one she pulled on it´s predecessor coming to her mind, the knight of Etro had a hard time keeping her defence up.

In the end she barely lasted five minutes.

The massive animal´s brute force so much more than she could ever dream to match, with one final stroke of it´s front paw it sent the slender female flying high into the air.

Landing hard with her back on the ground, her body infused with adrenalin, Lightning didn´t even feel the pain, didn´t register those long sharpened claws slizing her clothes and going straight through her skin.

The unfavourable position she found herself in seeming strangely familiar, without the powers of the godess and the strengh of a L´Cie, she was downright amazed she had managed to stay on her feet for such a long time.

She truly was a soldier.

Nothing more nothing less.

She might never have learned to live in harmony with nature, to be a hunter like Caius, but she definitely knew how to fight.

It was all she´d been doing ever since she had left high school after all.

The giant monster lunging at her to do her in, gathering all the strengh she could muster, the pink haired warrior brought up her faithful hunter´s sword, and using the pouncing animal´s weight to her advantage she neatly pierced it´s heart.

The dead Behemoth´s carcass collapsing onto her, threatening to burry her under it´s weight, she hurriedly made to scurry out of the way.

Caius Ballad´s own opponent finally finished off as well, hurrying over to his companion´s side, by the time he reached her, all that was left for the purple haired guardian to do was help her up.

„Are you okay?!" he asked, sounding slightly out of breath, his voice dripping with concern as he met the pink haired warrior´s gaze.

She just nodded.

That was a close one, she thought, as getting up on her feet she took to look around.

Taking in the havoc the damned beasts had caused, scanning the area for any remaining intruders she found another Behemoth fleeing through the wooden gates and out into the steppe again.

It was crawling with a limp.

That specimen beating retreat considerably smaller than the one´s she had fought before and obviously injured on top of that, she knew it would be easy prey.

And she definitely wouldn´t let it go unpunished.

No way.

And it was without even glancing back at the guardian next to her that breaking into a run she chased after it.

„Lightning! What are you doing!?" The completely startled hunter called after her.

She didn´t even seem to hear him.

Hurrying out of the village and back into the fields, the purple haired guardian managed to catch up with her in no time.

„What in Pulse´s name are you doing?!" he tried again, now definitely sounding out of breath.

„There. One of them´s trying to escape." Etro´s fallen champion explained, pointing at the monster heading towards the rock formation not far from where Serah and Noel had fought against the Faeryl with her index finger.

Caius Ballad couldn´t help but shake his head.

That pink haired woman right in front of him, had she completely lost her mind?

Nobody in this whole wide world was stupid enough to chase after a bolting Behemoth.

Nobody but her it seemed.

„Leave it be." the purple haired hunter adviced. Coming to a halt where the high grass ceased to grow and the path infront of them flanked by several meter high walls of blank, dark rock became pebbly and rough, he wasn´t sure whether following the beast inside was the best of ideas.

That particular area of those lands...

Although having roamed the steppe for years, he had never actually been in there.

There was no game to hunt on in there anyway and the intimidating shadows thrown by the rocks, those dark hidden bends and turns...

They gave him the feeling that Behemoths weren´t the only menace lurking in there.

The idea of goin in there, he didn´t like it.

Not at all.

They wouldn´t be able to rely on his experience in there.

He wasn´t familiar with that uncharted area´s hidden pathways.

Only Pulse knew what kind of dangerous creatures they´d find lying in wait for them!

And those narrow ravines...

They wouldn´t exactly leave place for many options.

The fearless female in front of him, she only gave him one of her incredulous stares.

„Come on, it´s been a long day..." the guardian began, suddenly eager to leave.

Carefully risking a glance at his companion´s features he found them unwavering, determined.

„What? You want this one to come back in the middle of the night and kill people in their sleep?!" The pink haired warrior hurled the words at him like knives.

They hit their target.

The guardian´s features darkening in realisation, he silently made to fall in pace beside her.

The idea of that beast coming back and brutally executing his brothers and sisters while unsuspecting they lay sleeping in their beds, it was all the incentive he needed.

Also, he couldn´t possibly let the pink haired warrior go after it alone, could he?

So, without giving it another thought, the both of them went after it.

And damn was that thing fast.

For a beast with an injury, it definitely did set a brisk pace.

The Behemoth´s tracks leading them deeper and deeper into those rocky canyons, with the light growing dimmer and the air around them getting cooler with every minute, it didn´t take long for them to loose it´s trail completely.

The both of them finding themselves in front of what turned out to be multiple entries to some underground cave system, they suddenly realised they had no idea where they were, where to go or how to get back to where they had come from.

They had successfully managed to get themselves lost it seemed.

„Where did it go?" Caius Ballad asked looking around warily.

He didn´t like this place.

Not one bit.

There hadn´t been any sign of the wounded beast for probably five minutes now.

Maybe they had taken a wrong turn?

„Can´t tell. It can´t be far though. It´s injured after all. It´s probably trying to hide away in one of those caves nursing it´s wounds." his undaunted companion replied, trying to figure out which cave to enter, her eyes trailing from one hole of pitch black darkness to the next, when suddenly she felt the touch of the guardian´s hand on her arm.

„Lightning..." the purple haired hunter began, his eyes darting around alertly as taking in their surroundings, it sudenly dawned on him.

The Behemoth hadn´t been trying to hide away in some cove.

No.

It had led them straight to it´s lair!

„Lightning, we should go..." the guardian warned, suddenly trying to keep his voice low. Etro´s fallen champion didn´t even get the chance to taunt him for his lack of courage when suddenly there was a low theatening growl coming from inside one of the caves, indicating that they were indeed not alone anymore.

The pink haired warrior´s pale blue eyes registering movement right behind her, she slowly turned to find a giant Behemoth bull blocking their way where they had come from.

 _Great._

The sight of it causing her heartbeat to speed up inside her ribcage, she instinctively took a step closer to the guardian to be who was readying his hunting spear right next to her.

She wasn´t sure whether it´d be much use against this one.

Another five of the giant beasts suddenly appearing from within the shadows of the caves, menacingly baring their fangs at them, Lightning instantly knew they were screwed.

Feeling her heart stop beating alltogether, it took her a few moments to assess the situation, to realize that there was no use in fighting, that they wouldn´t stand a chance against them anyway.

The guardian next to her seeming to have come to the same conclusion, for a few terrible seconds, the two of them just stood there, completely terrifyied, unable to make any move at all.

How were they going to get themselves out of this?

Oh, they were so done for...

And it wasn´t until the big Behemoth bull blocking their way gave another hair-raising growl, that the two of them were released from their initial shock and sprinting past the bloodthirsty beasts about to come after them from their shadowy caves, heading north into another rocky ravine, they bolted.

* * *

Up over crumbled rocks, stumbling over stones and boulders und holes in the ground they ran, ran for their lives, ran as fast as their tired legs would carry them.

The pack of feral beast hot on their heals.

Chasing after them.

Closing in on them.

The pink haired warrior, running as fast as she could, one of her feet getting caught in a hole on a ground, she fell to her knees.

Hurriedly getting up on her legs again, her bad leg complaining painfully, she didn´t even have time to register her twisted ankle screaming at her in agony as she continued down the ravine, just to tumble to the ground again a few meters later.

This time falling even worse than she had before.

Struggling she managed to get up on her feet again, managed to run further.

She had no idea how long it went on like this.

To her it seemed like hours.

But maybe it were only seconds.

Still, in the end she knew she wasn´t going to make it.

There was no way they were going to outrun those giant beasts.

Her sides stinging with a stitch, her legs aching like hell, exhausted and spent, tired from the stresses and strains of the past few days, Lightning knew she wouldn´t be able to do a runner much longer.

It turned out she wouldn´t need to.

The path suddenly ending with the rock dropping away just a few meters in front of her, the knight of Etro found herself in a dead end.

They had reached the cliffs.

„This way!" she yelled over to the guardian behind her, as hurrying over to the edge, she took to look down into the dephts ahead, down onto the dark surface of a raging stream, forcing it´s way through those treacherous canyons about twenty meters below.

Their only chance of escape.

The guardian blindly following her lead, not expecting the path to end like this, with his feet coming to a halt right at the edge of the cliff, he barely managed to keep his body from falling to what would surely be his death.

„Shit... Lightning! Are you serious?" Caius yelled, staring over at his companion wide eyed, completely stunned.

He couldn´t believe she was actually planning for them to jump.

Had she completely lost her mind?

„Positive! Or do you have any better ideas?" he heard her shout over the noise of the stream below.

 _Fuck..._

Looking down at the rocks protruding from the deadly torrent he wasn´t exactly sure this was the best idea.

Those sharp pointed tips...

It´d be a miracle for them to miss them.

„You know how to swim, don´t you?" the pink haired warrior asked upon taking in her companion´s horrified expression.

The Behemoths gathering behind them, preparing themselves to go in for the kill, the purple haired guardian just nodded weakly.

Sure he did.

This wasn´t about swimming.

It wasn´t exactly the swiming part that got him worried!

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t seem to care for the rocks though.

Looking down into the dephts of those raging waters, her worries, they lay elsewehere.

Although she had grown up in a coastal town, had lived with the sandy beaches of Bodhum right in her back yard, the pink haired time traveller had never bothered to learn how to swim.

And those raging currents, they weren´t exactly the best place to start.

The thought of her body diving into those dark greyish waters...

It scared her.

Freaked her out to no end.

Made her hands tremble and her skin shiver in a cold sweat.

She knew she couldn´t make it on her own this time.

She knew she needed the guardian´s help in order to make it out of there alive.

Her heart pumping adrenaline instead of blood, risking a glimpse over her shoulder to see the beasts approach, their feet impatiently pawing the ground, saliva dripping from their bared fangs, ready to pounce, to rip them to shreds, the two hunter´s gazes met once more.

Her scared blue eyes lingering on those helpless amethyst ones for just a few long moments, Etro´s fallen champion contemplated what to do.

If she wanted to go through with this, she knew she needed to trust him.

Trust him with her life.

Was she really ready to do this?

Could she really trust him?

Caius Ballad?

Well, it wasn´t exactly as if she had any choice.

Reminding herself that he wouldn´t turn into the monster from Valhalla for a very long time and that he hadn´t given her any reason not to trust him since she had arrived here in this crazy place and taking into account the fact that facing a pack of hungry Behemoths, waiting to sink their fangs into her flesh, was really the only alternative she was left with, it was a risk she was ready to take.

„Good. Because I don´t!" The pink haired warrior said before taking one last deep breath, putting her life entirely at her worst adversery´s mercy, she let her body fall over the edge of the cliff.

„Lightning!" the guardian to be called after her. His arms flying into the air in an attempt to grab her, to keep her from plummeting to her doom, they came up empty.

The pink haired warrior jumping over the cliff, she felt the tips of his fingers graze the outside of her upper arm, felt the cool air whip her face as she felt her body fall, saw the rocks, the surface of the water, racing towards her at incredible speed, until suddenly miraculously time seemed to slow down for her, to freeze, giving her just long enough to curse her younger self inside her head.

How come that albeit all those years living next to a beach she hadn´t bothered to learn how to swim?

Falling.

Serah had spent ages out there on the beach, floundering about in the waves with her friends, diving for shells or snorkeling for fish, playing beach volley ball or getting a tan.

But not her.

It just hadn´t been for her.

Falling.

Her mother had always tried to encourage her to go outside and play in the tides with the others but she had just refused to do so.

Falling.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Now that was exactly what she got from it.

Falling.

Was she really doing this?

Had she really just thrown her body over a cliff into the raging currents of a river, relying on the help of Caius Ballad as her sole means to get out of there alive?!

Caius Ballad?!

The man she knew was her nemesis, the man who had killed her what suddenly seemed only days ago?

Falling.

Caius...

He´d get her out of there, right?

Falling.

Trust...

Falling.

 _Trust!_

Falling.

 _Oh shit._

Falling.

What had she been thinking?

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Pain.

And then...

Darkness.

What in Etro´s name had she gotten herself into?

* * *

 _Sometimes you just have to let go._

 _Let go from everything you once believed in._

 _Let go from your anger, your doubt, your fears._

 _Sometimes you just have to let go._

 _Let go and trust..._

 _Trust that there´s something bigger,_

 _something better,_

 _picking us up whenever we fall,_

 _taking care of us_

 _and guiding us right back to where we belong._

* * *

 _Shit..._

From his place on the top of the cliffs, Caius Ballad watched his companion´s falling body hit the surface of those dark deep waters just to be swallowed by the raging floods below.

She had been lucky.

She had missed the rocks by barely a meter.

Feeling his blood racing through his veins, his heart hammering away in his chest crazily, he risked a glance back at the approaching beasts, now slowly coming closer, growling, baring their fangs at him menacingly, to quickly look down again to the spot where the pink haired woman from his dreams had disappeared into the raging waters.

Scanning the surface of the river for a flash of pink, no matter how hard he squinted his eyes, he didn´t catch a glimpse of her.

She had said she couldn´t swim...

She had been joking, right?

Right?!

 _Shit..._

The Behemots behind him finally loosing their patience, finally deciding to pounce on him, shutting his eyes tightly, the guardian to be hauled his body over the edge of the cliff as well.

There was the short sensation of free fall and then the unpleasent impact on the surface, as narrowly missing the rocks himself, the purple haired guardian dove into the shocking cold waters, pricking his skin like a thousand needles. The current forcing him down immediately, pushing him away from the surface and deeper into the basin of that raging river, there was that short moment of desorientation, where unable to tell which way was upwards and which not, panickingly kicking out in every direction, he struggled to reach the surface again, to finally make it back up and gasping for air scan the surface for his companion, just to realise that she was nowhere to be seen.

Just to dive down again in search for her.

Forcing his eyes open underwater to try and see her.

Seeing nothing at all.

Coming up again a couple of moments later, Caius Ballad drew another shaky breath, to panickingly realise that there still was no trace of his companion anywhere.

„Lightning!?"

The purple haired guardian didn´t waste much time before he let the current drag him down again.

Where was she?

How was he even supposed to find her?!

She coud be anywhere!

How much time had passed already?

How much time had he wasted already?

Resisting the urge to come up for air again he kept searching, kept searching for this woman who so recklessly had put her life into his hands.

He knew he needed to find her.

Find her fast.

Or else...

Passing by those treacherous rocks, the pressure in his chest building, growing steadily, choosing to ignore his body´s warning signs, the determined male dove down deeper.

He wasn´t going to let her drown.

No way.

His lungs burning for air, the guardian knew he wouldn´t be able to keep this up much longer, knew that if he wouldn´t be able to find her within the next few seconds, there would be no reason to search for her anymore anyway.

And it was right when the urge to breathe became too much to bear, became irresistable really, right when he decided that it was time to come up for air once more, that suddenly he felt his strenght leave his body, felt the lack of oxygen take it´s toll, and unable to escape the current this time, he got pushed towards the rocks instead.

His head hitting the rough surface – hard – the impact leaving him completely paralyzed, there where those few horrible moments where he just floated there.

Unable to control his body.

Feeling light headed.

Dizzy.

Faint.

 _This was it._

He was done.

Just like that...

The unbearable burning sensation in his chest a painful reminder that he needed to breathe, that he needed to breathe badly, he suddenly felt the cool smooth skin of his companion´s fingers brush against his arm.

The sudden contact making him snap out of his stupor, he felt a sudden surge of power running through his body.

No he couldn´t just give up like that!

He couldn´t just get himself killed like that!

That woman, who had grown so important to him over those past weeks, she relied on him.

Her life depended on him.

And he wasn´t going to let her down.

No way.

Acting fast Caius Ballad caught the pink haired warriors wrist, pulled her close to him.

And holding on to her slender body tightly, he pushed up from the bottom, towards the light above.

* * *

 _Let go of the past._

 _And the past,_

 _it will let go of you._

 _-_ Origin Unknown

* * *

For Etro´s fallen champion everything happened so fast.

Tiny snippets.

Fragments.

Moments.

Seamlessly joined together.

How her face broke through the surface of the water, allowing her to take that breath her body so desperately needed, just to be submerged underwater again by the currents of the raging waters the second after, forcing her to inhale a lung full of the chilly liquid instead.

How panickingly she trashed around helplessly, trying to get back to the surface, to fill her lungs with the oxygen she so desperately needed, her struggling only making her sink even faster.

That horrible pain building in her chest blinding her.

Paralyzing her.

The way her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

Deafening her.

How for a few brief moments she wondered whether it would hurt to die by drowning.

How suddenly she felt her body pulled up again by a pair of strong arms.

How finally she felt her face brake through the surface of the water.

How desperately she tried to take a breath again but her lungs wouldn´t comply at first.

How the guardian fought their way towards the shore.

How the current threatened to drag her away again, to tear her from those saving arms, to swallow her again, to drown her.

How panickingly she clung to him.

To every inch she could reach of him.

Her fingers clawing at his shirt, his hair, his skin.

Desperately trying to hold on to him.

Her nails digging deep into his arms and neck and shoulders.

How she didn´t stop clawing at him even once they made it away from the the deadly currents and into the calmer parts of the waters.

And how she thought she wasn´t going to make it out of there alive...

„Don´t worry, I´ve got you!" the guardian managed between needy breaths, trying to somewhat calm her down.

Her constant trashing and clawing, it wasn´t exactly making this any easier for him.

Behaving like she was, she was going to drown the both of them.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t even hear him.

Didn´t even register they had made it through the worst part, didn´t even realise they were out of immediate peril, when suddenly there was the solid surface of the river bank bumping into her back, when suddenly she felt herself pushed up and pulled ashore, where the both of them collapsed onto the rocky ground, fighting for air.

For Etro´s fallen champion it had been a close call.

The purple haired guardian sitting right beside her, he watched her cheast heave, watched her suck in tiny desperate breaths, watched her caugh up water.

And he was relieved.

So infinitely relieved that she was alive, that she was still with him.

Because for a terrible, horrible moment there, he had thought that he had lost her, had feared he wouldn´t be able to find her, that he wouldn´t be able to reach her in time.

And the thought of it...

Well, he guessed he couldn´t have beared it.

„It´s okay, we´re safe..." having a hard time catching his breath himself, the purple haired hunter tried to calm her.

Prying off her hand that had still been digging deep into the flesh of his upper arm, he found it needed some convincing to finally make her let go.

The pink haired female lying flat on her belly, it took some minutes before propping herself up on her ellbows, she finally lifted her gaze to look up at the guardian next to her.

„For a second in there I thought you´d let me drown..." she choked out weakly, her chest still heaving, it would definitely take some time for her to recover from her near death ecperience.

Caius Ballad resting on his knees right to her left, he couldn´t help but worry as he took in her state.

The woman next to him, she was shaking uncontrollably, had a hard time to even breathe.

„I´d never do something like that... You know that, don´t you?!" he replied, sounding somewhat hurt, completely taken aback.

Those words...

They had startled him.

Still, it was good to hear her voice.

The pink haired warrior chosing not to answer, carefully averting her eyes, she felt the guardian´s stare pierce her skull from the side.

It felt weird to hear him say something like this, didn´t it?

Well, this wasn´t the moment to dwell on things like that, was it?

No.

She needed to get herself together, needed to focus on her breathing.

Oh shit, why did she have to feel so dizzy, so faint...

Trembling and panting for air, the pink haired warrior let her body sink back to the ground once more.

„Hey don´t you pass out on me!"

The guardian was there instantly.

His voice coming from somewhere close to her head, sounding concerned once again, she felt the soft touch of his hand on her shoulder as he made to look whether she was alright.

„I´m okay..." she gasped, shaking him off immediately.

„Just gimme a second..."

The considerate male deciding to grant her some space, patiently waiting for her to recover from his spot on the ground a few feet away, it took Lightning another ten minutes, before she managed to sit up on her knees, just in time to see the guardian undress right in front of her.

 _What the -_

Ridding himself from the wet shirt clinging to his body to wring it out, he pulled the garments over his head to reveal his well-defined thorso.

Sneaking a few curious glances, Etro´s fallen champion allowed her eyes to roam her companion´s exposed upper body. Taking notice of the tattoo of his tribe etched into the skin of his chest right above his heart, she let them wander to a set of deep healed scars starting somewhere at his collarbone and reaching down all the way to his side and to the small of his back, probably several years old.

Those scars looked bad.

Really bad.

The scars she had seen decorating the other hunter´s skins, they were nothing compared to Caius´ ones.

For a fleeting moment she wondered how he´d gotten them.

But no, she didn´t dare to ask.

Her eyes wandering down to his abdomen and all the way to the hem of his trousers, the other half of his body obscured by the now completely soaked fabric, she briefly wondered what the rest of him might look like, before chiding herself in her head, she let her gaze dart back to his ribcage where the encounter with the Behemoths had left a nasty-looking purple bruise.

The attentive male suddenly looking up at her, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t help but feel her cheeks flush crimson.

Had he just caught her staring?

Why had she been staring in the first place?!

„You´re hurt." the guardian suddenly said out of nowhere.

Taking in the way her shirt was slowly turning red around her midsection, the pink haired warrior couldn´t help but agree.

Sure.

Back at the village, back when she had fought against the Behemoths, that stupid beast´s claws had went straight through her clothes and right into her skin.

„It´s nothing." the tough female asured.

„Let me see!" the guardian insisted, extending his arm to push up her shirt in order to get a better look at the wound, she instantly made to shove him away in horror.

He could do whatever he wanted with his own clothes, but there was simply no way she was going to let him take her shirt off!

„No! I´m okay!" she yelled, panickingly slapping his arm. The purple haired guardian didn´t seem to care as pushing up her shirt anyway, he reveiled what only seemed to be a superficial wound indeed.

„Just a scrape, you see!" the irritated female said somewhat reproachfully while staring daggars at the relieved looking man infront of her.

„Nothing life threatening!"

The annoying male finally letting go of her, in order to have something else to look at, the pink haired warrior let her body roll onto her back to watch the sky instead.

It had been close this time, she knew.

They had barely made it out alive.

And without Caius...

She gave a tiny sigh.

What about Caius?

Who was this man who had so heroically saved her life today?

She wasn´t so sure anymore.

Was this Caius Ballad really the one she had met in Valhalla?

Somehow it was hard to believe.

But who was he then?

Looking up into the sky, the sun, the clouds, with the songs of the birds serving as an omnipresent background music and the warm rays of the sunlight gently drying her skin, she couldn´t help but wonder.

So many things where different here, had changed already.

Who knew how much her presence here had affected the future already.

What impact her actions here would have on the world she had once known...

Would she even recognize it once she found a way to come back?

Or would she return to a twisted timeline, a place altered unrecognizably...

She didn´t know.

The image of the sky above strangely calming her she forced her restless mind to focus on the view instead.

No matter what age she was in, be it a thousand years into the past or in the future, somehow the sky from Pulse would always look the same to her.

With the sun shining brightly, slightly blinding her and Cocoon merrily twinkling down on her, if it weren´t for it´s outer shell being still complete, the pink haired timetraveller wouldn´t even be able to tell the difference.

Not at all.

* * *

 _Yesterday is history,_

 _Tomorrow is a mystery,_

 _But today is a gift._

 _That´s why we call it the present._

A. A. Milne

* * *

When they finally made it back to the village it was already dark. With the feast in full swing already, the sound of music and voices and the scent of freshly roasted meat greeting them long before they could even see the lights of the fires, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t remember ever beeing happier to reach those wodden walls.

With everything she´d been through she was actually glad she lived to see them again.

„Shit guys we were already worried you two hadn´t made it." One of Caine´s follow hunters, the one who had been looking forwards to the feast so much, greeted them, hurrying over to meet them once they arrived at the main building.

„Taken a bath, huh?" the man observed once he reached the latecomers, looking them over from head to toe and shaking his head in amusement.

Although their clothes had almost completely dried in the warm humid summer air already, their soggy shoes and messy hair still told the story.

The female warrior´s pinkish strands hanging loosely down her shoulders, they were still damp, wet to the touch.

Well, she had been longing for a bath anyway...

The pink haired warrior scanning the platform where all the residents of the entire village seemed to have come together to celebrate the freshly married couple, she let her gaze roam the crowd of people, all those unfamiliar faces, before finally her eyes landed on Cara Ballad.

The guardian´s sister trying to catch their eyes from atop the platform, waving her hands at them like crazy and gesturing for them to join her at her table, Etro´s fallen champion only watched as her purple haired companion made his way towards the crowd.

No...

She definitely had no intention of participating in the celebrations.

Not today.

No way was she going to attend this nonesense.

And it was without even wasting another glimpse at all those people attending the feast that the pink haired warrior turned around and left for Cara´s hut.

She was tired.

Exhausted, really.

She had travelled for four days, had been out for a hunt, had fought dangerous beasts and had in fact nearly drowned.

She did deserve a little bit of rest, didn´t she?

Well, it certainly didn´t seem so...

She was already a few meters down the path to Cara´s hut, when suddenly the tired female sensed movement right behind her.

„Hey! Where do you think you are going?!" she heard Caius Ballad´s voice call after her, making her stop and turn around.

The look she gave him...

Well, let´s say she didn´t bother to hide her annoyance.

„My room... Going to get some sleep." the pink haired warrior retorted dryly, before slightly irritated by the guardian´s ignorance, she turned to leave again.

With the noise of the festivities, trying to get some sleep would be hard enough without that insufferable male constantly bugging her.

„Oh no, you don´t!" the guardian said, a tiny smirk forming on his lips, as without a warning he took her wrist and pulled her back towards the main building.

The sudden body contact taking her off guard, momentarily perplexed, the pink haired warrior let the hunter steer her up the stairs, through the crowd of people and over to where Cara and the man Lightning assumed was the nurse´s date, where sitting on a felled old tree trunk serving as a make shift bench.

„Hey, there you are! How nice of you to join us!" the older woman greeted them, her eyes giving a greatful twinkle as they met the timetraveller´s slightly irritated blue ones.

„Come sit with us." she urged, patting the wood next to her and gesturing for the pink haired warrior to sit down. Having not much choice but to comply, Etro´s fallen champion took a seat next to her companion´s sister, while Caius - thankfully letting go of her arm - seated himself on the opoosite side of the table, facing her.

„That´s Taj." Cara introduced the good-looking male occupying the place right next to Caius´s.

The man in question greeting her with a friendly smile, the knight of Etro only gave a polite nod.

Lightning didn´t really care.

She was too busy looking around and taking in the athmosphere, couldn´t help but goggle at the marvelous job the villagers had done transforming the main building´s old platform into a party tent.

With enough tables and benches to accomodate all the residents of the village, with a bunch of elderly men playing music on strange foreign looking instruments, a dancefloor in the middle and couples dancing to their fancy tune, the people who had planned this party seemed to have thought of everything.

The mood jolly and cheerful, Lightning´s eyes carrying over to the bridal couple huddled together at a table in the front, past all those people sitting together, talking, eating and drinking, enjoying themselves, her gaze finally caught on one of the big blazing fires, where a Behemoth impaled on a giant skewer sat gently roasting over those low dancing flames, a dumbapple the size of a watermelon protruding from the monster´s open jaws.

Etro´s fallen champion, she couldn´t quite believe her eyes.

„Is that one of those we managed to take down this noon?" she asked, an expression of complete bewildernment on her face.

The pink haired warrior, she had never seen people actually roast a beast like this. The thought of it, although not quite repulsing her, to her it still was weird, strange to see people dine on a creature like this.

„Yes, of course. It took the whole afternoon for it to get done." Cara verified.

The hunters of the Archylte Steppe, they really let nothing go to waste it seemed.

They had probably already cut the rest of the pack into thin stripes, had already prepared them to dry under the next day´s summer sun.

Seemed like they´d be having dried Behemoth meet for the next ten years at least.

„Here, have some!" the purple haired nurse encouraged, pushing the wooden plate with the Behemoth´s meat that had been waiting at their table into the pink haired female´s direction invitingly.

The latter eyeing the food rather sceptically, it took her a few moments of consideration, before hesitantly she picked up a piece of the lean red meat with her fingers and tentatively took a bite.

Sitting there chewing on her first bit of predator ever, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t help but admit it didn´t taste bad at all.

After a day like this and having spent the previous four ones on the road, to her the piece of beast tasted delicious, like heaven.

„It´s good..." she managed between bites, eagerly helping herself to another piece as she realised she had been starving.

Finally having something between her teeth, she suddenly found the bad mood she had been carrying around with her all day dissipate into thin air.

„What did you expect?" the guardian asked giving a soft chuckle and getting himself some meat as well.

Watching her dug in feverishly he couldn´t help but crack a smile.

She sure was hungry.

„Here, have something to wash it down with." Taj said, handing her a jug filled with a suspicious red liquid that tasted an awful lot like whine.

The pink haired warrior didn´t seem to care though.

She hadn´t tasted anything else but water since she´d gotten here.

This fermented beverage, sweet and bitter all the same, to Etro´s former champion it sure was a most welcome change.

The night passing by in a blur, with the four of them sitting together and chatting, listening to Taj telling some stories of those times when he had travelled to the other end of the steppe, to the city of Haerii, eating and drinking with the others and even getting a chance to try some of that delicious desert Caine´s follow hunter had been dying to eat, at the end of the night Lightning was glad she hadn´t gone to bed after all.

She was having a good time for once.

Well, she might have had a little too much of that red wine stuff...

But screw it.

She deserved a break sometimes, right?

A little bit of fun.

Of joy.

She could go back to being her stern brooding self first thing in the morning.

Her eyes wandering the crowd again, all those people she didn´t even know...

Being on a wedding without even knowing the bridal couple, it felt strange.

Looking up at her companion, sitting right in front of her, Etro´s fallen champion found him staring off into the distance, found him completely lost in thought.

He hadn´t said a word in what seemed twenty minutes.

Following the guardian´s gaze over to the pretty fair haired bride now donning a beautifully decorated creme coloured dress and a gorgeous looking updo, Lightning couldn´t help but ask.

Sure, the alcohol she´d had before helped.

Helped a lot.

„So... You and Imani, huh?" the pink haired warrior began, making the pensive male on the other side of the table snap out of his musings.

Turning to look up at her, the latter let out a rather surprised sounding snort.

„Where did you get that from?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in astonishment.

He hadn´t seen her do much conversation with the people from the village, nor could he picture her asking around for informatin on his previous love life.

„Noone in particular... Just people talking..." the canny female evaded carefully.

The woman´s prolongued expectant stare, it made the guardian feel uncomfortable, uneasy.

„You want another desert?" he asked, averting his gaze and making to get up from their table to get one.

„Caius Ballad!" his companion stopped him with a glare.

„Are you trying to evade my questions?"

„What? Like you always do with mine?" the purple haired man retorted, narrowing his eyes questioningly at his pink haired companion before sitting down again, he gave a resignated a sigh.

His eyes carrying over to the freshly wed couple once again, it took another thirty seconds before finally he started to speak again.

„Imani and I were betrothed to another. A long time before we were even born. It was our parent´s wish for us to marry someday..."

Lightning could only raise her eyebrows.

She didn´t know what to say.

No matter what she had come up with in her mind, it had certainly not been anything like this.

Caius Ballad trapped in an arranged marriage...

She just couldn´t picture it.

Couldn´t picture him with a woman at all, or could she?

„Even after our parents had died, or maybe because of that, Imani was set on meeting their wish." the guardian to be continued, his dark amethyst eyes glazing over with the mist of reminiscence.

„However, I rejected her."

„You did what?" Lightning blurted out. For a moment she wasn´t sure whether she had actually heard correctly.

That beautiful creature over there had asked him to marry her and Caius Ballad had said no?!

What kind of man would do something like that?!

„Well... Yes... I turned her down." the purple haired man answered somewhat casually, shrugging his shoulders as if it were something that happened every day.

„Why?!" Etro´s fallen champion inquired instantly.

She didn´t understand one tiny bit.

„Because I didn´t love her!" the honest male said somewhat incredulously as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lightning couldn´t help but admire his sincerity.

This was a very private matter after all.

And last time she had checked they hadn´t exactly been best friends.

Maybe she should check again?

„She still holds it against me I´m afraid." the purple haired male continued, looking up to check on the bride again who was now busy kissing her new husband on the lips.

„Still, what should I have done to change it?" he asked, more to himself then to anyone else it seemed.

„She hardly ever talks to me anymore..."

Lightning just stared.

She just had no idea what to say to this.

„Well she´s better off with Kenji anyway. She deserves someone who can return her feelings." he added after some time of silent thinking.

„That guy´s been crazy for her ever since we were kids."

The two of them interrupted by Cara and Taj getting up to go for a dance, Etro´s fallen champion caught the purple haired nurse throw her brother an irritated glance.

Well, maybe it was time for them to change their topic...

„I never knew Cara had a boyfriend." Lightning said the moment the two of them were out of earshot.

The purple haired guardian just chuckled in response.

„Well, that´s probably because she hasn´t." he replied, seemingly having a hard time hiding his amusement.

„They´re not together?" Lightning asked, slightly furrowing her brow as she watched the two of them dance closely to the slow romantic tune now playing in the background.

„No. Cara had never been eager to commit herself to anybody... Well, not yet at least." the guadian explained.

„That´s a shame. They make a great couple." Lightning said, sounding somewhat pensively.

„Well, at least when dancing..."

Watching the couples on the dancefloor waltz, some of the girls wearing beautiful dresses, while others were only in their normal hunter´s clothes, the pink haired warrior couldn´t help but admire their dancing skills, the way their tiny delicate feet found their steps seemingly with no effort at all, for a tiny moment she envied their body control, their confidence.

Having been a soldier for most of her life, the practical female hadn´t had many opportunities to catch up on her lacking dancing skills, yet alone cared about stuff like dancing whatsoever.

„It looks so nice and easy when they do it." she said somewhat lost in thought.

Her voice was soft, almost a whisper.

Thinking about it, she actually hadn´t even intended to speak at all.

What was wrong with her?

„Well it´s not exactly hard... Really... We can try, if you want to...?!" the guardian suggested.

It did take him some effort to get out the words.

Cara had been throwing him prompting glances for at least the last half an hour now, had even nudged his leg unterneath the table with one of her feet, had been motioning in the direction of the dancefloor with her head here and then and sure he´d gotten the hint, had gotten it the first time his sister had done this and sure he had been thinking about asking his pink haired companion for a dance himself, had been waiting for the oppotunity to do so all along, but still, he wasn´t sure whether she´d actually take it all too well.

He didn´t want her to get all upset again.

He had already put his head above the parapet when he had dragged her back to the feast, knew how much his actions had aggravated her right then and he wasn´t sure whether it´d be very intelligent to push his luck this time.

Well, screw it.

The pink haired warrior infront of him opening her mouth to – without doupt, reward him with some snide retort – Caius Ballad watched her pink lips part to form an answer, when suddenly Caine Ballad appeared right next to her, butting in and destroying the spell of the moment.

„Hey dear brother... Mind if I borrow your little girlfriend for a dance?" the hunter´s leader asked, one of those malicious smirks etched onto his face again.

The way he had said this, he hadn´t exactly made it sound like a question.

Lightning didn´t have a good feeling about this.

Not at all.

The arrogant male not bothering to wait for an answer, he already held out his hand for the pink haired warrior to take and feeling the obligation to go along with it, she accepted.

Although Lightning had never exactly liked him, she didn´t want to get on the hunter´s leader´s wrong side either.

She already had a feeling Caine wasn´t the kind of man who´d take „No." for an answer.

And there certainly was no reason to make this more complicated than it already was, right?

He had only asked her for a dance.

Just one dance...

She figured she could do that much.

Throwing Caius an apologetic look as she made to get up, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t help but notice the disappointed expression lingering on his handsome features. Catching the older Ballad throwing his younger brother a misschievous half smile, she watched the latter sigh and look away.

„Sure... Have fun." he said.

His words were dripping with contempt, with betrayal.

And for a tiny moment there, Etro´s fallen warrior felt a pang of sympathy for her purple haired companion.

Watching that display of brother rivalry from her place on the dancefloor, Cara Ballad felt her bile rising in her throat.

Caine.

Acting like the insufferable jerk he was, behaving as if he owned the place as usual, it was so him to give Caius a hard time once again.

Yes.

Caine Ballad wouldn´t let pass a chance to show his little brother his place.

Why did he always have to pick on Caius?!

Couldn´t he go easy on him just for once?!

As if the older Ballad hadn´t had enough girls to dance with...

Cara had seen her older brother surrounded by a bunch of females – as usual – just a few minutes ago.

But no, he had to go for the pink haired newcomer...

Of course.

Caine Ballad knew exactly how much his brother liked the pink haired warrior and now that he had seen him having fun for once, had seen him somewhat happy for once, he had to do something to spoil it for him.

The purple haired guardian watching his older brother lead his pink haired companion onto the dancefloor, he had a hard time keeping himself from getting up from his seat.

Seeing his brother´s arm around the timetraveller´s waist and the fingers of their hands entwined, feeling his own hands balling into fists, it took everything he had to try and control his rising anger.

The leader of the hunters twirling the pink haired warrior around the dancefloor, he didn´t even bother to hide that triumphant smile of his.

The knight of Etro struggling to keep up with the unfamiliar steps, she found that she didn´t like the way the older Ballad led her. Rough and ruthless, just like the man he was, Caine didn´t care whether she managed to keep up with him or not.

Still, the pink haired warrior carried it off well.

Her facial expression not giving any hint of her current misery, she didn´t grant the older Ballad the satisfaction of showing her contempt for him.

It was true.

She didn´t like Caine Ballad.

Didn´t like him one bit.

The way he held her hand in a tigh uncomfortable grasp.

The way he set their pace, fast and unpredictable, as if he was intending to make her stumble and fall, to humiliate her.

The way his hand that had been resting just beneath her shoulderblades was slowly slipping lower and lower until it reached the small of her back.

And that stupid arrogant smirk on his face...

He was exactly the kind of guy she would have kicked in the balls back home, but there was not then and here he was the boss, right?

„My brother sure does have taste." Caine suddenly said, the corners of his lips twisting into a lascivous grin as his eyes took the liberty to roam her body, lingering at her cleavage where her faded L´Cie brand sat like a charm.

Oh, how much she wished she could just wipe that grin off his face with one of her fists.

The insolent male´s hand dropping down to unceremoniously grope his dancing partner´s ass, the purple haired guardian left on his seat at the table felt his blood starting to boil, felt his insides seething with rage.

That arrogant bastard...

What did he think he was doing?!

„Keep your hands in check, Caine!" the feisty female hissed at the mannerless man between closed teeth, as narrowing her eyes at him warningly, she shot him the most venomous glare that she could muster.

Feeling the hunter´s leader´s hand wandering back to the small of her back, she had a hard time keeping her temper in check.

She couldn´t believe he had just done that.

That pompous asshole.

„And defiant too... I like that in a woman." the older Ballad smirked.

He was saved her nasty retort by Caius though, who had suddenly appeared right next to them obviously seething with rage.

„Sorry to interupt your chat Caine, but I think you had her attention long enough." the younger of the Ballad brothers fighting for composure, Lightning could sense the dangerous undertone to his words easily, could see the pent up anger of years behind his dark armethyst eyes.

Caine Ballad having achieved his goal, he only gave a knowing smile before finally letting go of the pink haired warrior´s hand, he was off.

Fighting hard to cool his burning anger, for a few long seconds Caius contemplated what to do, considered just giving in to his rage and going after his older brother to beat the living daylights out of him, to end this ridiculous nonsense once and for all.

But no.

He couldn´t loose his temper like that.

He needn´t loose control like that.

Not in front of his pink haired companion, that was.

No.

He needed to get himself together.

This was exactly what Caine wanted, wasn´t it?

That he´d go completely berserk and ruing everthing...

And he so wasn´t going to give him this satisfaction.

Not this time.

Figuring that taking revenge on his brother could wait until later, the purple haired guardian turned back to the pink haired warrior instead, before, his eyes meeting her´s with the silent question, he held out his hand to offer her the next dance.

The pink haired warrior, she accepted ony hesitantly.

Was it a good idea to dance with him?

To dance with the man she knew her enemy?

Well, he had at least saved her from Caine´s advances...

The guardian´s anger dissipating into thin air, gently taking her hand his, he brought up his other hand to rest it at her waist, before he led the pink haired female who had so unexpectedly stepped into his life from inside some crazy nightmare back onto the dancefloor.

The purple haired hunter leading her slowly, carefully, Lightning couldn´t help but notice how much his dancing style differed from his arrogant brother´s.

Waltzing with Caius felt like dancing really.

Not like fighting a battle.

„Are you okay?" The purple haired guardian asked after some time of silent dancing. His companion´s hand resting somewhere at his chest, the younger Ballad realised he liked the way it felt there.

„Your brother´s an asshole." Lightning spat, her anger ebbing away the second she looked up to meet her partner´s gaze, concerned, caring.

„Yes, I know. I´m sorry. His behaviour is inacceptable." the guardian appologized for his brother´s tactless actions.

„It´s not your fault... You can´t choose family." The pink haired warrior assured.

Looking up at her companion, for a few short moments she allowed herself to drown in those brilliant amethyst eyes of his.

„But you can choose your friends...?" the guardian replied. His voice trailing off near the end, it almost sounded like a question.

The pink haired warrior, she wasn´t exactly sure what to think.

Dancing there with Caius Ballad...

A hundred percent aware of the purple haired man´s arm around her body, she realised she was glad she had allowed herself to have a sip of that home made schnapps that old man from the village had offered her when passing them on their table before.

It just made coping with things like this so much easier.

The two of them dancing until the end of the song, the purple haired guardian´s hand resting at the small of her back where it belonged, to her great relief, Lightning found it did not even drop an inch.

She appreciated the way he treated her, with regard, with respect.

Dancing there with Caius Ballad, she realised she almost felt safe, safe in those strong protective arms.

The way he looked at her, the smile he gave her whenever their eyes happened to meet, the way he treated her in geneal, she had a hard time reminding herself that this man was going t be a coldblooded killer someday - had in fact brutally executed her.

What was she doing here dancing with her nemesis?

Wasn´t this somehow wrong?

Twisted?

No...

Of course not.

No reason to get worked up again, or was there?

They were only dancing after all.

Dancing at a wedding.

Surely dancing with somebody at a wedding had to be one of the most trivial things in the world.

It didn´t mean anything, right?

She had danced with Caine, surely she could dance with Caius too.

Why not?

Many people danced on weddings.

Brides with bestmen, grooms with mothers in law...

Maybe she would have danced at Serah´s wedding too, if she´d ever had the chance to do so...

 _Serah..._

Suddenly feeling unwell there among the others, feeling out of place, Etro´s fallen champion felt the sudden inexplicable urge to leave, to be alone.

„I actually hate parties..." she started, unable to hide the result of her unexpected moodshift from dripping into her words.

„Why?" the purple haired guardian chuckled as if she had just said something incredibly funny.

For a brief tiny moment she felt the nearly irresistable desire to scratch his eyes out.

„I don´t know... Too many people... So much noise... I just don´t like it." she admitted, suddenly stopping mid-step, she made her dancing partner nearly bump into her.

Maybe it was time for her to leave...

The guardian to be only wrinkling his forehead, he wasn´t exactly sure what to make of her comment.

„Can´t we go somewhere else instead?" the pink haired female asked, suddenly seeming eager to leave.

Her eyes scanning the platform for a route of escape, the guardian didn´t need to be asked twice.

„Of course we can."

* * *

 _Past and future_

 _exist only in our memory._

 _The present moment though,_

 _is outside of time,_

 _it is eternity._

\- Paulo Coelho

* * *

It was far after midnight that the both of them left the party for the fields. Sneaking through the heavy wooden gates and out into the louring shadows of the Archylte Steppe, they headed off east this time, venturing off to one of the more secluded regions of those vast grasslands, one the warrior of the goddess had yet to visit.

That part of the steppe, it was different.

Their surroundings growing darker and darker around them with every step they took, Etro´s fallen champion noticed the lights around them dim, fade until they vanished completely.

There were no biulumenscent plants to illuminate their path, no bright luminous blossoms and tall broad leaved bushes in this part of the steppe, only the waist high grass and those ordinary multicoloured field flowers scattered among the dry high blades of green.

With only the stars above and the pale silver glow of Cocoon to guide their way, without any additional light source around for miles, the perfectly cloudless nightsky, it suddenly seemed so much darker, the stars so much brighter, the vast empty plains tinged in the silver shimmer of Cocoon suddenly so much more dangerous and the dephts of the universe above felt so much more intriguing.

The steppe by night, it was beautiful.

Beautiful yet intimidating, as everything on Gran Pulse.

Maybe it were the harsh contrasts that made this land so perfect, so fascinating.

Or maybe it was just her, who growing up in a place so different, so very unlike to everything she had encountered down here on Gran Pulse, found herself overwhelmed by the miracles of nature, by the charme of the uncharted wilderness.

The pink haired warrior, she hadn´t spotted any predators around yet.

There had actually been no trace of any kind of wildlife whatsoever.

That fact striking her as odd, her eyes trailing to her companion´s back, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t help but notice the way that he walked in front of her, unstealthily, bold, not cautious and vigilant as she knew he usually would.

What the...

„Isn´t it dangerous to walk around like that in the middle of the steppe in the middle of the night?" the pink haired warrior asked, her voice coming out much louder than she had intended, she instantly looked around to check the vicinity for any predators her imprudent behaviour might have attracted.

„Shouldn´t we move more stealthily? You know, you are `clumping around like a grown Shaolong Gui´!" she teased, watching to keep her voice low this time, she found controlling her volume suddenly harder than she had originally thought.

What was wrong with her?

Wait.

Had she really just said that?!

Well, she certainly had every right to do so.

Hadn´t the guardian to be claimed the same of her on several occassions?

Unable to keep from grinning, the pink haired timetraveller felt an especially persistent giggle forcing it´s way out of her throat.

What was fucking wrong with her?

Was the fact that she had travelled a thousand years into the past finally taking it´s toll on her sanity?

Or was it just the alcohol...

How much had she had exactly?!

„What, you´re worried?!" the purple haired guardian replied cockily. Turning around to face her, he kept walking backwards, one of his eyebrows raised at her challengingly.

„Well..." the slightly tipsy female started.

Suddenly painfully aware of the fact that she hadn´t even thought to bring her sword, not even that blasted gun of hers, she realised how exposed she felt out here with nothing but her knife to defend herself, with nothing but those thin cotton clothes on her body to protect her against whatever horrors were lurking in the shadows of that starry night.

Yes.

She definitely was easy prey tonight...

Easy prey indeed.

„Don´t worry... Larger predators don´t come here, because there´s no prey for them." the dark clad hunter tried to assure her, casually leaning down, he picked a white blooming wild flower that grew inmidst their path, before slowly twirling it between his fingers, he looked up at the woman facing him again.

„Besides us, of course..." He added playfully, that comment of his earning a warning glare from the pink haired female.

„Well. You´ve got me with you to protect you anyway." he reminded her.

„No reason to panic."

„Pff! I don´t need your protection, I think I already proved that much today!" the pink haired warrior snorted, thinking about how she had managed to bring down those two Behemoths heading for the main building all on her own, she knew he had to at least give her credit for that.

„Don´t need me, huh?" the guardian to be contered, gradually slowing his pace to reduce the distance between the two of them, his eyes never leaving his companion´s face as monitoring her features carefully, he waited for her reaction to his next comment.

„Certainly looked different to me when I pulled you out of that river..."

The woman infront of him giving an irritated huff, she used both of her arms to shove the guardian away from her with a not so gentle push, making him stumble backwards a bit and in fact nearly fall.

He could be such a jerk sometimes...

Regaining his balance, Caius Ballad only gave a playful chuckle before thankfully he turned his back to her again to lead the way, to lead them further into the heart of those quiet fields.

Lightning didn´t care, was glad in fact.

She´d rather watch his back, than be forced to see his stupid face again.

Trailing along behind him, the pink haired timetraveller let her gaze roam the landscape of the nightly Archylte Steppe, of those vast plains stretching out endlessly around them.

If she hadn´t know any better, she could have sworn that they were infinite.

Infinite plains of dry high grass, lost in some long forgotten past, some strange perversion of the space and time structure.

That was what they seemed to her.

„Where are we going anyway?" the pink haired warrior asked after quite some time of peaceful nighttime strolling.

Letting her fingers brush the tips of the waist high gras, she found she simply loved the feeling of the dry rough blades against the soft skin of her fingertips.

„You´ll see." Was the only answer that she got.

Doing the best she could to keep up with her companion´s pace, she kept looking at his back expectantly, waited for him to elaborate.

„Just some place I like to come to whenever I need some time to myself..." the gardian explained, when she didn´t make a move to say anything.

„A break, you know... Some time away from Caine, and Cara and the village... Everything..."

„Then why are you bringing me?" the pink haired warrior asked dryly, nearly tripping over some roots that had the audacity to grow in her way, she managed to stay on her legs, if only barely so.

Maybe taking a walk in the steppe after drinking a whole wine-cellar of booze wasn´t exactly the best idea she had ever had...

The guardian suddenly stopping dead in his tracks, he made the pink haired female run straight into him.

Etro´s fallen champion completely stunned, she barely had the time to take a step away from him, before he turned around to look at her again.

„Because I enjoy your company." the guardian to be revealed. That small smile tugging at his lips again, Lightning felt her gaze drawn to his eyes instead.

The way he looked at her...

The way those dark amethyst eyes of his were boring into her´s...

Wait...

Was he trying to flirt with her?!

He was!

Completely stunned by that realisation of her´s, the pink haired warrior only gave what must have come over like an incredulous stare.

Caius Ballad didn´t seem to care.

Leaning towards her, he slowly extended his arm to place the small white flower he had picked before into the fallen warrior´s pinkish hair.

The tips of his fingers lingering at her temple for maybe a few seconds too long, Lightning found that she actually didn´t mind.

Didn´t mind at all.

„You are beautiful." the guardian said.

His gaze studying his companion´s features intensly, he could have sworn that he had seen her blush.

Maybe.

Just a tiny bit.

Looking down into her eyes, that smile of his suddenly faded.

Faded completely.

Those pretty pale blue eyes...

The way they were gazing into his...

The way he felt her breath ghost over the skin of his face...

So close...

Suddenly aware of the lack of distance between their bodies, he felt his skin prickle and erupt in goosebumps without even so much as a breeze to cause them.

Those bottomless pools of blue, glistening under the silver sheen of Cocoon...

Like jewels...

To him they were intoxicating.

Mesmerizing.

The pink haired warrior´s soft pinkish lips only a few inches from his own, it was slowly, cautiously, that he made to close the distance, when suddenly she exploded with laughter.

„You are drunk!" she managed between giggles, pushing him away again with both of her arms, a little more gently this time, to create a little distance between herself and the cheeky male who had so insolently invaded her private space.

The purple haired guardian, he didn´t understand what was supposed to be so funny about all of that.

What he had said there wasn´t supposed to be funny, his words not supposed to be perceived as a joke.

He´d meant them.

Still.

Her laugh...

It was contagious.

He realised he loved the sound of it.

„Maybe." he said, the smile that had been tugging at his lips before now turing into a lopsided grin, Caius had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her face, away from those soft pinkish lips of hers.

Getting himself together, the guardian to be tore himself away to face their path again, to lead the way to yet another hill and up the gently slope to the very top of the Archylte Steppe´s southernmost cliffs, where passing by a huge old oak tree standing there all by itself, he made his way up to the very edge just to let his body drop to the ground to lie down in the soft dark grass.

The pink haired warrior following his example, she carefully lowered herself down into the grass right next to him to look up at the stars above.

It was the perfect place for star gazing.

With the steppe around them covered in complete darkness, with no light around for miles, there was no place like this to see the stars shine so brightly.

„Lightning tell me about the future... Is it a better place?" the guardian suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Resting on his back to watch the nightsky, he pondered what the future´d hold for him, for his people, for this land he loved so much, for Pulse.

What would be left of that small hunter´s village, of that tribe, he had been born and raised into, a thousand years into the future?

Would they share Paddra´s fate?

Would the village his people had worked so hard to establish flourish to one day become a city as big as the Farseer´s?

Or would it be swallowed by the wilderness, fall prey to the raging tides of time and be reclaimed by the Archylte Steppe to which it rightfully belonged?

He wondered if she even knew.

Probably not.

Lying on her back herself, Lightning couldn´t help but crack a smile.

Of course he would want to talk about the future.

Caius always wanted to talk about that, wanted to know what was going to happen.

He was so predictable.

Always so curious.

A better place...

Hm...

It was a hard question to answer.

Thinking about it, Etro´s fallen champion realised she couldn´t imagine a place much better to live in than this one even if she tried.

This exact place...

This exact time...

For her it was the calm, peaceful center of a hurricane.

For Caius Ballad it would be the calm before the storm.

„How far off into the future are we talking about?" the pink haired warrior asked to bide herself some time.

She wasn´t exactly sure how to answer.

Not yet at least.

Turning around to lie on her belly she propped herself up on her elbows to look at him, to pensively study his profile as he kept his gaze fixed up on the sky above, seemingly completely lost in tought.

Caius...

She couldn´t possibly tell him anything, at least nothing important, could she?

No, of course she couldn´t.

She couldn´t risk to change something.

Well, he was going to find out eventually.

That much she knew for sure.

With him as the seeress guardian, cursed to remember the entire timeline...

At the end of the day he´d probably be the only person in the entire world, in entire history, who could really say of himself that he knew everything.

That he understood.

„Well it depends... There´ll be good times, really good ones... But there´ll also be bad times..." she said, evading his question alltogether.

„Terribly bad times..."

Sensing his companion´s stare upon his face, the purple haired hunter turned his head to meet her gaze.

For a few seconds he just looked at her.

It was so strange...

The knowledge that there was so much time between her past in the future and their presence in the past...

Weird really.

He couldn´t even begin to imagine how she had to feel about all of this.

To be trapped in a different time, a different place...

Thrown back a thousand years into the past...

„That war... The one you´ve been talking about... The War of Transgression as you called it..." he started tentatively, carefully adressing the topic that had him worried most.

„Don´t ask me things like that, Caius..." his companion interupted wearily, before he could even formulate his question.

 _Caius..._

The guardian´s gaze involuntarily drawn to his companion´s lips, he realised he liked the way they formed his name.

Liked it a lot.

Her voice soft and slightly pleading, there was a glimpse of sadness creeping into her pretty pale blue eyes.

„You are afraid you might change something..." the dark clad hunter realised.

The pink haired warrior, she just inclined her head.

She needn´t say anything.

He understood.

Of course the timetravelling female couldn´t risk telling him anyhing important.

One never knew what it could lead to, what chain of events could be set into motion, giving birth to an alternate timeline, completely different to the one she had once witnessed.

No.

She couldn´t.

Not when the future that she knew, the one she was born into, the one with all of the people she held dear in was at stake.

Giving a tiny sigh, Lightning turned away again, settling to lie down on her back in the grass next to him, she took her time to appreciate the beauty of the nightsky, the stars, the infinite possible worlds out there.

The way she lay there, a hundred percent aware of the way their shoulders touched, if even only faintly so, aware of the guardian´s body lying next to her, only inches from her own, the alcohol causing a warm tingling sensation, some inexplainable feeling of bliss, of happiness, originating from somewhere in the pit of her stomach and spreading into every cell of her body...

Yes, the alcohol...

Or was it just him?

No.

This was ridiculous.

She felt her body shake with laughter even at the thought of it.

Oh yes.

She definitely was drunk.

Wasted.

„Oh dear, if only Serah could see me!" Etro´s fallen champion suddenly said, unable to keep that crazy smile from spreading all over her face as she envisioned Serah spying on them from somewhere above through the lenses of some absurdly huge binoculars.

Yes.

Serah´d definitely freak.

It was hilarious.

Lightning having fun at a wedding, staying up late, dancing, even enjoying herself, talking about the future and running off from a party to some secluded place in the middle of nowhere, to watch the stars with some guy!

Some guy that coincidentially happened to be the one destined to destroy the world and murder millions of people.

That guy supposed to be her nemesis – as she constantly had to remind herself.

Because yes, that´s what they were.

Enemies.

He´d even kill her, for Etro´s sake.

He somehow already had.

And yet she was here.

Out here with him.

Enjoying his company.

Because for some strange inexplicable reason, they weren´t enemies here.

No.

Not at all.

Here in this very moment, between those high tall culms of grass, everything was different.

This special moment, it seemed to exist outside of time, outside reality.

Somewhere off in an alternate universe, where whatever she´d do wouldn´t matter, where her actions would hold no consequences and where concepts like Caius Ballad being her nemesis were empty, meaningless.

„Who´s Serah?" the guardian asked, unable to stifle a goodnatured chuckle as he took in his companion´s cheerful mood.

It didn´t last long though.

Her pretty features that had been lit by one of those happy smiles only seconds ago noticeably saddening, the pink haired warrior gave a sorrowful sigh.

„My sister..." she finally replied, her voice taking on a rather mournful quality.

Of course he wouldn´t know.

Wouldn´t realise.

Wouldn´t understand.

Not yet.

He´d meet her of course.

He´d try and kill her on serveral occasions in the future.

But that was just where it lay...

In the future.

Still a far distance down the timeline.

Where unbeknowest of what her actions would entail, she would send Serah and Noel onto their journey trough the chronosphere and to 500AF, to Valhalla even, to stand up against the guardian.

To stand up against Caius Ballad.

Where he would fight them...

Where he would use them for his crazy plans...

 _Caius..._

No matter how much she tried to hate the guardian for all of this, she realised she couldn´t bring herself to do it.

How could she hate him for something he hadn´t even done yet, couldn´t even know he was going to do?!

„You miss her?" the subject of her musings asked, turning onto his side to look at her again.

„Yes... More than you can possibly imagine..." the pink haired warrior admitted. Her eyes fixed on the stars above, Caius Ballad found a single, silent tear running down her cheek.

Resisting the urge to wipe it away with the tips of his fingers, he just watched as it slowly made it´s way past her lips and down to her chin to then drop to her neck and vanish behind the collar of her dirt coloured shirt.

It was one of Cara´s old blouses, now frayed and even torn in places, he recognized it from his sister´s wardrobe easily.

It reminded him again that Lightning´s time here in the past might be only borrowed, that one day she might have to return it, just like that old shirt. That one day she´d have to go back home, to return to her time, some unspecified point in the future, maybe even sometime soon.

The guardian´s eyes studying his companion´s saddened features, he extended one of his arms to carefully take her hand.

The skin of her fingers cool under his touch, wishing there was a way he could help her see her sister again, he gently gave them a reassuring squeeze.

If only there were a way to reunite the two of them...

If only he could help her find a way back home, back to the future...

But how was he supposed to do so?

There simply was no way to travel into the future, right?

And certainly not a thousand years...

Then on the other hand, he hadn´t heard of one that allowed you to travel to the past either...

Still, although he wished for nothing more than for Lightning to be happy, there was also a huge part of him that didn´t want to let her go, that didn´t want her to return to her time.

A part that wanted her to stay.

Badly...

A part that was actually gratefull, infinitely gratefull, that she was stranded here in this long forgotten past.

That she was stranded here with him.

The feeling of her hand inside of his, delicate and so much smaller than his...

He couldn´t help but think that it fitted into his perfectly.

„It feels so strange... The fact that she isn´t even born yet... Not to be born for hundreds of years actually..." the pink haired warrior murmured, her voice trailing off, her gaze tracing the outlines of some foreign stellar constellation.

If she minded his hand around her´s at all, she didn´t let it show.

„Yes it is..." the guardian said. Gently caressing the back of her hand with his thumb, the fact that she hadn´t pulled away yet, it made his heart give a hopefull, tiny flutter.

His eyes tracing his companion´s profile, the light of thousands of stars above reflected on her alabaster skin, pale against the darkness of the surrounding steppe, he couldn´t help but agree.

That thought, it had occured to him as well.

„The day you are born, I´ll be dead for centuries..." he added somewhat pensively.

„There´s probably nothing left of me but dust."

Swallowing hard, Etro´s fallen champion just closed her eyes.

The guardian´s words...

Of course he couldn´t fathom.

How was he supposed to guess?

But wasn´t that exactly how it was supposed to be?

A future without Caius Ballad...

What if Caius Ballad died like any other person did?

If he wouldn´t become the immortal guardian, living long enough to detroy the world, to kill her, nothing of the horrible things she had witnessed would have happened...

Was there a way to prevent Caius Ballad from becoming the seeress´ guardian, from receiving the heart of chaos?

Could there really be a way to pull this off without endangering the timeline?

Maybe there was..

Maybe there really was a way to save the future...

There had to be.

If she just managed to figure this out...

Maybe there still was a chance...

A chance to reverse the timeline.

A chance to save Serah and Hope and Snow and everybody...

Maybe, if she just didn´t give up trying...

Maybe everything would turn out to be alright in the end.

And it was there, lying next to her enemy, her hand in his, that looking up into the sky stretching endlessly above them, Etro´s fallen warrior was able to gather new hope.

Hope for the future.

Hope for a new future.

One she would turn, one she would twist to result into a better place.

A place without pain.

A place without dread.

A place without Chaos.

Yes she could do it.

It was possible.

She knew it.

If she just tried, if she tried really hard, she could make it.

Nothing was lost.

Everything was still in the air.

None of this had happened yet.

She could still change the timeline.

Change what she knew was going to happen.

That had to be the reason why she had been sent back here in the first place, right?

The reason why she had endured all the torment, all the torture, in the void beyond.

To come back to the world of the living and receive another chance.

Another shot at forming the future she had been shown up there in the desolate skies of Valhalla.

That happy future.

Where all of them would be together.

Happy.

And whole.

And safe.

Maybe it could still come true.

Maybe it was still waiting for her.

Out there.

Somewhere.

Maybe it had to be that way all along.

And maybe.

Just maybe.

In the end...

All her torment.

All her pain.

They´d be worth it.

* * *

 _Some say fate is beyond our command._

 _But I know better._

 _Our destiny, it is within us._

 _You just have to be brave enough to see it._

\- Merida, Brave

* * *

 **Stars can´t shine without darkness, right?**

* * *

For those of you wondering what´s the deal with dumbapples: Well, there were those trees that bare fruit at random times during the year and...

Okay, okay!

To cut things short: it´s a FFVII Crisis Core easter egg. Sorry I couldn´t resist...

For those of you who have no idea what I´m talking about just play the game or look it up. It´s definitely worth it + There´s no story not worth hearing, right? ^^ (Yeah, I simply loooove Angeal! Probably my most favourite character in the whole FF universe! He´s legend! 333)

Anyway let me know what you think of this incredibly long chapter.

Yes, I guess I really have to appologize. Chapters do seem to become longer and longer the further I go with the story =/ It always starts with a 5 page draft and then grows and grows uncontrollably until it´s suddenly 30-40 (or in this case even 54) pages long -.-

I really hope you don´t mind + the last scenes of that chap definitely make up for it right? ;)

Let me know what you think about this one guys!

Love it?! Hate it?! Suggestions?! Looking foreward to next chap?

Tell me ;)

* * *

 **I really hope you enjoyed this one and please stay tuned for the next chap!**


	8. Chapter VII: Plains of Destiny

Hey guys, on with the next chap already!

You can thank XxShyxX for this early update. It was her who kept me motivated and working on this story every waking free time hour of the past week. It´s because of her that you are able to read this before the end of march even!

Please know that I love you for having faith in me and in my story and for helping me out whenever I need something. Getting to know you really was and is a pleasure. You are awesome!

As for all the others who supported me those previous weeks: Thank you for reviewing my last chap as well as adding to favourites and writing pm´s (I always love to receive those).

=) =) =)

You guys make me smile everyday.

So... I know this chap is only a short one (I know, compared to the last one every chap is;) ), but I didn´t want to freak you guys out with 20 000 words again plus writing such long texts takes up so much more time. So please don´t be angry with me for not that much happening in this chapter. The next one will make up for it.

Promise!

* * *

Two Against the world - Rose McGowan (Planet Terror OST)

* * *

 **CHAPTER VII: PLAINS OF DESTINY**

 _In the midst of hate_

 _I found there was within me an invincible love._

 _In the midst of tears_

 _I found there was within me an invincible smile._

 _In the midst of Chaos_

 _I found there was within me an invincible calm._

 _And I realized through it all,_

 _that in the midst of winter_

 _I found there was within me an invincible summer._

 _And that makes me happy._

 _For it says,_

 _that no matter how hard the world pushes against me,_

 _Within me there´s something stronger._

 _Something better._

 _Pushing right back._

 _-_ Albert Camus

* * *

It were the first sunrays of the next day´s dawn than woke her.

Their warmth gently caressing her skin, Etro´s fallen champion came around with the strange fluttery feeling of bliss, of happyness inside of her, the dark recesses of her soul unexpecedly lit by some weird foreign kind of emotion she had never felt before.

Feeling the hard ground underneath her body, the rustle of a soft breeze caressing the dry high grass carrying the scent of late summer and the merry songs of some early birds greeting her the first sounds that met her ears, it almost felt like the first time she had come around in this godforsaken place.

A little confused with her surroundings at first, it took the pink haired female a few moments to remember where she was exactly.

Softly stirring as her body slowly made to recover from her slumber, a soft moan escaped her slightly chapped lips before, her eyes slowely fluttering open and adjusting to the brightness of the new born daylight, her sleepy gaze landed on him.

The man who used to haunt her worst of nightmares.

Caius Ballad.

The sight of the guardian resting only inches from herself instantly making her freeze, it took the pink haired warrior a few seconds to calm her poor shocked heart that suddenly had started beating wildly in her ribcage.

The guardian to be was lying on his side right next to her, still fast asleep - thanks Etro - with his face turned towards her only inches from her own, it was the lack of distance between the two of them that had taken her off guard.

Her head resting on one of his arms as a pillow (Had she really slept like this?!), she found his other arm resting right between them. His hand not far from her own, she felt the outside of their pinky fingers touching faintly.

How in Etro´s name had she ended up like this?!

Not daring to move one bit, afraid she might wake him, Lightning took a few minutes to just watch the unexpecting hunter sleep.

The gentle movements of his chest...

Up and down.

Up and down.

She found that they were strangely calming her.

Her gaze travelling to his face, seeing it up close, with those sculpted features finally relaxed, one of his feathered tribal beads resting on his cheek and a few stray strands of purple hair hanging into his mercifully closed eyes, Etro´s fallen champion couldn´t help but admid that he was handsome.

He was...

The memories of the last night´s events slowly flooding back to her, it was the mental image of the guardian lying in the grass with her, holding her hand, that made her sit up with a start.

Now, what had she let him do that for?!

It was feeling slightly embarassed, maybe silly even, that blaming her behavior on the excessive consumption of alcohol, she carefully made to get up.

She knew she had been lucky to be the first to wake.

The thought of her purple haired companion finding her asleep with her head on his arm...

Well, she couldn´t imagine a situation more awkward even if she tried.

Still, she had a hard time tearing her eyes away from the man sleeping on the ground.

Had a hard time diverting her thoughts from that beautiful night they had spent together lying there in the Archylte Steppe, gazing at the stars.

Had a hard time diverting her thoughts from him.

This was crazy.

 _So fucking crazy._

She had never been with a guy in her time...

Least of all spent the night with one.

So unlike Serah she had never gone on a date or to a party or anything.

She had never looked twice at anyone back home and here she was waking up next to Caius Ballad.

Her enemy.

Waking up with her head on his arm and feeling happy, feeling so incredibly happy, happier than she could ever remember feeling in fact...

Why was she feeling like this anyway?!

This was just...

Somehow she couldn´t help but feel betrayed by her body.

And she had even allowed him to hold her hand...

Shaking her head at her improper behavior, she reached up to brush her fingers through her slightly messy hair, her fingertips stopping at something soft but solid as they came in contact with the little white flower still sitting there admist her pinkish strands.

She instantly remembered how the guardian had placed it there.

A souvenir of their previous night spent out together.

Deciding to leave it on the ground where she had slept right next to him and thanking the Goddess Etro for the guardian´s deep sleep, the young woman turned around to leave.

She was sure he´d get the message...

Stopping a few meters away and straightening her slightly wrinkled clothes, her eyes fell onto her companion´s sleeping form once more.

Why did it feel so hard to leave him there?

Why did it pain her to abandon him like that?

Wait!

Since when did she care about him in the first place?!

Since when did it matter how he felt?!

What was going on here?!

She hadn´t actually taken a liking to the purple haired guardian to be, or had she?!

No of course not!

That was preposterous.

That was insane.

That was...

 _Screw him!_

Caius Ballad really was her worst of nightmares!

In every possible way imaginable.

* * *

Caius Ballad woke up early noon.

Although feeling slightly groggy, his back aching from a night spent sleeping on the ground in what he found had been a rather uncomfortable position and his outstretched arm feeling slightly numb from the only recently lifted weight of a certain someone´s head, it took him only seconds to realise he was outside in the steppe.

Sure he was.

He had spent the night with the mysterious woman from the future, hadn´t he?

Suddenly wide awake, his eyes snapping open with a start, he found himself lying inmidst the dry high grass of the Archylte Steppe, completely alone.

The spot next to him, where the dented culms of grass still warm told him she should have been was empty.

Cursing his deep sleep he made to get up to scan the vicinity for that pinkish hair of her´s but she was nowhere to be seen.

She appearently had left for the village without him.

It just was so her.

Bending down to collect the small white flower he had picked for her the night before, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but sigh.

Looking at it´s tiny fragile petals already starting to turn brown and wilted, he couldn´t help but feel his heart sink.

She was gone.

That pink haired woman he would have loved to wake up next to, abandoning him in the steppe, she hadn´t even bothered to wake him.

Well, from what he had gotten to know of her he shouldn´t have dared expect anything else.

She was always so controlled, so calculated, so cold...

Finding herself out in the steppe with him like this, it had probably made her feel awkward, embarrassed even.

Still, he had somehow hoped to wake up next to her.

To wake up with his body close to her´s.

To look into those blue eyes again.

First thing in the morning.

Those pretty pale blue eyes...

He somehow was quite taken with them.

Had been ever since the second he had first layn eyes on them...

That girl from the future, did she like him at all?

It was hard to tell.

He could only guess.

She didn´t seem to care about anything else than her mission, than returning to the future, than finding a way back home...

He could understand of course.

It had to be terrible to suddenly be thrown back a thousand years into the past, far from home, on another planet even. Far away from family and friends and everything she had ever known.

The only person she had ever heard of being him.

Recognising him as some kind of sworn enemy...

It sure had to be tough.

Still, he had somehow hoped that she would settle in with them, that somehow she would give up on her plans of finding a way back to the future and that maybe, miraculously and against all odds, she could be happy there staying in the past with him.

He knew it was a long shot.

Nothing more than wishfull thinking.

Still...

Their fates, they were somehow linked, linked over an invisible bond and the previous weeks...

They had only served to intensify that bond, hadn´t they?

Yes.

He had grown to like her.

Like, really like her.

Had developed feelings for her.

There was no point denying this. There hadn´t been from the beginning...

They had spent so much time together.

They had fought together.

They had been hunting together.

They had even nearly died together back when encountering the Behemoths the day before.

They had danced together and they had spent the night together.

She had let him hold her hand...

Surely it had to mean something to her, right?

Surely he had to mean something to her...

Or didn´t he?

He wasn´t sure at all.

* * *

 _Dreams are like the stars._

 _You may never touch them,_

 _but if you follow them,_

 _they will lead you to your destiny._

\- Liam Payne

* * *

„ _Come on... Just a little bit further up!"_ Lightning thought to herself.

It was late afternoon already and intent on doing something useful, or maybe just to occupy her restless mind, Etro´s fallen champion had set out to repair some of the broken fences the Behemoth´s had ruined while raiding the village the day before.

Trying to put the heavy wooden logs back into their mountings that sat attached to the thick round posts positioned about every five meters, Lightning had a hard time lifting this one high enough to even reach the uppermost guide.

She hadn´t seen Caius all day, had avoided running into him as best as possible and eventhough she knew she had taken on this job not only partly to evade the guardian´s company, she couldn´t keep her thoughts from drifting back to him and those few hours they had shared the night before.

Yes.

She was trying to forget about the incident after the feast.

About lying next to Caius.

About holding hands with Caius.

About waking up next to Caius.

And especially about the way she had felt about all of this.

About that weird fuzzy feeling she had woken up with that crazy morning in the steppe.

That weird fuzzy feeling that had followed her all the way back to the village and had been haunting her every waking second of the remaining day, was haunting her even now.

It seemed no matter what she did, the night before, the morning of today, they just kept popping up in her thoughts again and again.

The heavy wooden pole she had finally managed to hoist up to it´s mounting somehow stuck in it´s guide, no matter how hard the pink haired woman pushed against it, it just didn´t seem to want to go into it´s fixture properly.

 _Damn it._

Frustrated with the current path her thoughts had taken once again she threw herself against the log, pushed at it with all her strenght, but the stupid thing just wouldn´t budge.

„Need a hand?"

She didn´t have to look around to know who had been speaking.

She´d recognize that voice anywhere.

Him.

Of course it had to be him.

Turning around to look up into the kind amethyst eyes of the man she had been trying to avoid all day, the pink haired warrior instantly felt her cheeks blush.

„No... I just..." she stammered, about to decline, when the guardian obviously ignoring her objections, had already taken a step forward to help her out. Giving the log one final heavy tug he had the problem she had been working on for at least the past twenty-five minutes fixed in what had to have been less then ten seconds.

„Oh... Thank you." the pink haired warrior said somewhat sheepishly, her mouth gaping stupidly as she mentally facepalmed herself for not having been able to do this herself.

„No problem." the guaridian replied, throwing her a carefull sideways glance.

Etro´s fallen champion, she just turned away from him instantly and, five meters further down the corral, made to continue on the next part of broken fence, this time managing to put it together on her own after only a few minutes.

Was she trying to ignore him?!

„Hey... Taj, Kenji and I are going to go out again to check up on those Behemoths, are you in?" the purple haired hunter who had been watching from a distance called after her, causing her to turn around again, their eyes meeting for a short minute as the pink haired timetraveller pondered whether to join or not.

„No... I think I´d rather stay here..." she answered somewhat hesitantly.

„Ohw... That´s a pitty... Are you sure?" the guardian tried. Studying his companion´s expression carefully, he couldn´t find a hint of what was going on behind that mask of marble features.

„Don´t worry I´ll watch out for you." he added when the woman in front of him didn´t make a move to talk at all.

Was she afraid to face those beasts again?

„No. Thank you." was his companion´s curt response.

There was just no way she was going to go after those bloodthirsty things again.

She needed to end this nonsense.

She needed this to stop.

No more going out into the steppe to do this and do that.

Thank you.

She had done enough.

Maybe it was time to draw a line.

She had enough to handle on her own plate and maybe it was time for her to focus on her own problems, her own mission.

How long had it been already?

Two months?

She wasn´t even sure.

Anyway.

Far too much time had passed in her opinion.

Far too much time had been wasted already.

What had she been doing all this time?

Instead of trying to find a way to save the future she had been trying to evade her responsibilities, had pretended to be a hunter, had pointlessly been running around in the Archylte Steppe for months.

What had she been thinking?

Staying here and risking to change the timeline like this...

With every day spent here in this long forgotten past, she knew those changes, albeit only little now, would become more defined, more prominent.

How could she just stay here pretending she belonged here, knowing all the time that her mere presence here could endanger the entire history?

That was selfish.

Selfish and stupid.

Who was she trying to fool?

It needed to stop.

She just couldn´t stay here any longer.

Also her friendship with Caius...

If one could call it that...

It had somehow reached a level she wasn´t sure was healthy, she wasn´t sure was safe anymore.

Because yes...

She had somehow grown to like his company, to even like him...

She couldn´t deny that.

Not anymore.

This man, cursed to become the seeress´guardian, he was nothing like she had expected.

He was kind, friendly, caring...

He had even risked his life to save her from those river´s deadly currents just the day before.

No...

This man didn´t deserve any of the things that she knew were waiting to happen to him.

This man didn´t deserve being formed into the monster she had encountered in Valhalla.

If there only were a way to prevent him from becoming the seeress´ guardian...

To just have him stay here.

Mortal.

Happy.

Safe.

Not committing any of the mistakes she knew he was about to commit...

But without him becoming the last guardian and receiving the heart of chaos, nothing of the things she could remember would have ever happened.

With no Caius Ballad fighting in Valhalla ever killing her, she wouldn´t even show up here in the first place, right?

No...

There simply was no way to save Caius Ballad.

And thinking about it was dangerous.

Was doing her no good.

* * *

 _You may not always end up where you thought you were going,_

 _but you will always end up where you are meant to be._

\- Author Unknown

* * *

The fire was warm and soothing, bright against the dark clear night and the flaring flames throwing dancing shadows on people´s faces were reaching high into the sky.

They were gathered around the joint fireplace in front of the main building, women and children and some of the seniors, just sitting together and enjoying their meal, the remainders of the roasted Behemoth that had served as a feast the day before, gently sizzling in the lower parts of the giant campfire.

They were all there.

Everyone she knew.

Everyone except Taj and Kenji... and Caius.

Were they still out in the steppe looking after those Behemoths?

Having stayed behind at the village, the pink haired warrior could only hope that they were doing alright.

Sitting near her companion´s sister Cara, Etro´s former champion was resting on the floor with her back leaning against one of those many hand-felled treetrunks that the hunters of the Archylte Steppe liked to use as some kind of seating accomodation.

The crackling of the burning branches making her feel slightly dozy, her eyes fluttering shut for just a few tiny seconds to relax her mind, it was the sudden unpleasant yank on her hair that made her snap back to reality.

Turning her head to check behind her, her gaze fell onto a bunch of four curious young girls that had gathered there behind her on the treetrunk, busy admiring her exotic looks, the once fierce warrior couldn´t help but crack a smile.

The youngest of them not older than maybe three years, with her huge brown eyes staring at her in amazement and a lock of Lightning´s fine soft hair clasped in one of her tiny tanned fists, this one seemed especially fond of the fallen warrior´s pinkish strands.

A tall short haired woman, who could only be their mother, glaring daggers into her offsprings general direction, her warning naturally ignored by her disobedient brood, the nameless female only gave a frustrated sigh, before sending the pink haired stranger an appologetic look, she made to get up to shoo them away from the helpless newcomer.

Etro´s fallen champion just stopped her with a shrug of her shoulders.

It was okay.

She didn´t know why, or how (Lightning had never been especially fond of children, lest of all of the idea of them playing with her hair) but somehow it was just okay.

The tiny child twirling her hair between it´s tiny tanned fingers, Lightning relaxed her back against the treetrunk once again and listening to the faint sounds of the nightly steppe around her, she settled to doze off again.

* * *

„And lo, the viper Lindzei bore fangs into the pristine soul of our Gran Pulse, despoiled the land and from it crafted a Cocoon both ghastly and unclean!"

The pink haired warrior´s eyes snapped open with a start.

Alertly scanning the vicinity, her eyes fell on one of the elderly men, his eyes unseeing, blind, he was dressed in shabby brown shorts and a stag´s hide draped around his shoulders. Swinging a jug of what seemed to be that devilish red whine stuff she´d had herself the night before, with tiny crimson droplets dripping from his chin and into his long grey beard, he had positioned himself infront of the fireplace and was now recounting what turned out to be one of those many pulsian legends, Etro´s fallen champion had yet to hear.

„Lies spilled forth from the serpent´s tongue: `Within this shell lies paradise.´" the old fool´s voice dropping in pitch as he tried to mimic the giant cursed animal, it made the hair on the back of Lightning´s neck stand on end.

„Men heard these lies and were seduced and led away."

Of course...

People on Gran Pulse believed Cocoon to be a false paradise built by the devil Lindzei who lured people to live there with sweet promises, only to enslave them and to steal their souls...

Well they weren´t that far off exactly.

Her eyes scanning the crowd of people for a certain familiar face in vain, it took only about another five minutes before the sound of approaching footsteps announced the arrival of the three hunters her thoughts had been travelling back to ever since they had left to look after those murderous beast she knew were roaming the steppe these nights. And it was slightly relieved that they were back, alright and unharmed, that for the second time that day, Lightning´s eyes met Caius Ballad´s.

The latter greeting her with a curteous nod, the pink haired warrior quickly made to look away, only watched from the corner of her eyes as her companion made to sit down on the other side of the fire, made to pick up conversation with the rest of the hunters lounging there in the soft dry grass.

„O cursed are the fools who trust a snake and turn their backs upon the beauty of Pulse´s hallowed land! For those who dwell in that Cocoon are not men, but slaves of the demon Lindzei! Monsters! Beasts! No human beings anymore!" the old crazy doter yelled, his voice high pitched and piercing.

Those words giving her heart a tiny stab, Lightning couldn´t help but look up at the silhuette of the small Planetoid above she knew so well.

It was ridiculous.

How could people on Gran Pulse believe in such a nonsense?

How could they assume that they were monstes, all those people living on Cocoon?!

But then again...

Hadn´t she thought the same thing of people here below?!

Hadn´t people on Cocoon been fed the same shit about their pulsian counterparts?

They had.

And they had accepted it.

Had believed it.

Every single piece of it.

Whithout questioning.

It was hilarious.

Hilarious and sad.

So very sad...

„Ye who honor Pulse: Rise unto the heavens and cast down the viper´s nest!" the crazy bastard in front concluded with a hiccup before, two of the other men dragging him back to his seat, he mercifully stopped his awful sermon.

But well...

What he had said...

That was exactly what people down here thought.

That they were a floating nest of vipers, ready to strike...

Pulse´s inhabitants saw people from Cocoon as impending intruders, as a source of evil in their world dangling right above their heads.

Similarily the people of Cocoon were made to believe Pulse were an aspect of hell itself, with it´s forces poised to invade their beautiful paradise.

It was a vicious cirlce.

One that would inevitably lead to war.

A war that would cost millions of lifes on both sides.

The war of Transgression.

Thinking about all those things she knew were about to happen somewhere in the next few centuries, the pink haired timetraveller couldn´t help but feel her eyes drawn back to Caius Ballad´s.

The friendly male meeting her gaze with an inviting smile, the two of them exchanged a set of knowing glances, before the baby girl playing with the unfortunate warrior´s hair giving another rather painful yank, Lightning, forced to brake the eyecontact, turned to disentangle her locks from the toddler´s tiny fingers.

It took her a few minutes to accomplish that task – the canny beast literally had her wrapped around her little finger – but when finally she turned her head to look up again, she found the guardian´s amethyst eyes still clued to her face, found him intently watching her, her every move, her every feature.

The smile gone now, it was that dark contemplative stare of his that gave her the chills, that made her skin erupt in goosebumps.

Caius Ballad.

Of course he knew the truth.

Knew that people up on Cocoon were merely that. People.

How was he supposed to hold on to his tribe´s believe that Cocoon was a lair filled with bloodthirsty demons, with monsters planning to destroy their world?

Of course he couldn´t...

Not when the proof to the contrary was sitting right in front of him, staring back at him with those brilliant pretty pale blue eyes.

* * *

It was much later, most of the people having gone to bed already, that Lightning remained seated at her place in front of the fire, her fingers playing with the remainders of her piece of Behemoth meat, she just stared into the flames contemplatively.

Of course she was tired.

But albeit her body longed for her bed, her mind was still restless.

No.

There was no sense in trying to go to sleep right now...

There was just too much to think about, too many things to mull over.

She needed a way to save the future...

But no matter how long she thought about this, no matter from which angle she tried to look at her current situation, no matter how much she racked her mind to come up with a viable plan, in the end she always came up empty.

What was she to do?

What was she sent back to do here in this long forgotten past?

„Mind if I join?" It was the guardian´s voice followed by a tiny thud as not bothering to wait for her reaction, he just let his body plop down next to her, next to that pink haired warrior he had come to call his companion.

„I´m sorry. What that guy was talking about before..." the hunter started. Relaxing his back against the tree trunk behind him, Lightning felt his upper arm gently brush her shoulder before, turning his head to look at her, he opened his mouth to speak again.

„People here, they just don´t know any better. Those are just stories. Legends. They never actually met anybody from up there... Well, not knowingly at least." the guardian assured her, looking up at his companion somewhat appologetically.

Lightning couldn´t help but smile, start to laugh even.

Wasn´t it funny how people down here on Pulse felt the same way about people from Cocoon as they felt about them?

Hadn´t Cocoon been built by the Fal´Cie many centuries ago under the promise of protecting humanity from the savage world of Pulse?

Well, it seemed like both of them had been fed some cock and bull story.

If only they knew the truth...

Maybe they could live together someday.

In peace.

In harmony.

The purple haired guardian looking slightly bewildered at his companion´s odd reaction, he couldn´t even begin to understand what she found amusing about all of this.

He actually had expected her to feel uncomfortable, maybe hurt even, but this...

Never this.

It was a pleasant surprise to see her laugh again.

Suddenly feeling stupid and having no idea what else to say, he silently made to study his companion´s features again.

The corners of her lips curved upwards into a pretty smile and her eyes narrowing in mirth, with the skin under her eyes wrinkling into tiny laugh lines, that laugh, completely genuine, it lit her face, made those brillant pools of blue that were her eyes sparkle with glee.

Unable to watch this and stay completely uneffected at the same time, Caius Ballad felt a soft smile spreading on his lips as well.

She could be weird sometimes.

She really could.

The two of them taking a few minutes to calm their nerves, with the pink haired warrior carefully avoiding her companion´s gaze, the two of them just sat in silence before finally, the timetraveller started to talk again.

„Caius... How old are you exactly?" the pink haired warrior suddenly inquired out of the blue. It definitely took some effort to ask.

Still, it was a question she had asked herself a couple of times already.

Thinking about it, she realized she knew near to nothing about the purple haired guardian´s life.

„Twenty-seven. And you?" the purple haired hunter replied. His gaze involuntarily drawn to those soft pinkish lips of hers, he patiently watched them form her words, as not for the first time he wondered what they´d taste like on his own.

„I´m not sure..." the pretty female murmured as an answer.

It was true.

She didn´t know how much time had passed exactly since she had left Bodhum.

So much had happened between then and now.

Her time as a L´Cie.

The fall of Cocoon.

Her being swept away to Vahalla and into the void beyond.

Althought technically no time had passed in the realms of Chaos, still her presence there had felt like an eternity.

A timerange far beyond any average human´s lifetime.

„I remember my last birthday though... Well the last one that I celebrated at least... I was turning twenty-one. I was celebrating at home... With Serah." She explained, her eyes cast downwards, there was a sad expression sneaking onto her features once again.

This conversation it was taking into a direction she hadn´t anticipated.

Her sudden change of mood, it didn´t go unnoticed by the guardian to be.

How come she always seemed to turn so sad whenever he dared to ask her any questions?

Did she have such a hard time missing her people?

Or was there more to it than met the eye?

„She gave me that knife." The pink haired warrior said, a saddened smile ghosting over her features as her hand travelled down to her hip where she had used to carry the beautifully adorned survival knife her sister had given her as a gift all those centuries into the future, but there was nothing to grasp there except that stupid gun of hers.

Of course.

It was gone.

Hope had found it at the base under Cocoon´s crystal pillar right after she had left. It had been in her sisters possession ever since.

She sighed.

„I must have lost it..."

His pink haired companion getting up onto her knees to skid a little closer to the fire, her eyes cast downwards and her forehead creased in wrinkles, Caius Ballad wasn´t sure how to respond to this.

He somehow hated always seeing her so sad, so lost, so helpless.

It didn´t fit her.

Not at all.

„At least you´ve got a happy memory..." he finally said. Carefully putting his hand on her arm he started tracing soothing patterns all over her forarm and down to the palm of her hand, were he gently tried to interlace their fingers.

„Nobody´s going to take that away from you..."

Those gentle spoken words meant to console her, they only served to provoke the opposite.

Pulling her hand away from his, and resting it in her lap where he couldn´t actually reach it, Lightning only gave a bitter snort.

„No... It was terrible." she corrected, weakly shaking her head.

The guardian´s purple eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he couldn´t help but stare at her.

Somehow he seemed to have a gift for saying exactly the wrong thing whenever he had the guts to talk to her at all.

„It was the day I found out Serah was going to marry that stupid oaf from the NORA neighbourhood watch group... Snow Villiers." the pink haired warrior shook her head again, more vigorously this time.

The now low burning flames of the campfire painting brilliant shadows on the time traveller´s pale soft skin, the guardian could see anger and regret etched into those pretty features.

„...and the day I found out she was a L´Cie.." the pink haired female added.

Her sparkling eyes, two pale blue jewels swimming in a sea of unshed tears, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but feel a pang of sympathy for that mournful woman sitting there in front of him.

„It was the worst day of my life..." she finally concluded.

It was true.

It really had been the worst day of her life.

The day that had changed everything.

Yes.

After that day nothing had ever been the same again.

Never.

This fatal day...

Could she have done anything to prevent those horrible events from happening?

Could she do anything to undo them?

No...

Probably not.

„You´re sister was a L´Cie?" Caius asked, suddenly curious.

Was that why the pink haired warrior had such a hard time talking about her? Why she always seemed so close to tears whenever the subject suddenly changed to her little sister?

Had she lost that girl to one of the Fal´Cie´s cruel tasks?

„Yes. She was." the pink haired warrior confirmed, her words nothing less than drenched in pain, in grief.

The fingers of her right hand subconsciously coming up to touch her chest where her L´Cie brand sat, still sat after all this time, the female time traveller gave a resignated sigh.

Her purple haired companion, he had seen it before of course, that brand, now faded, but until now he hadn´t given it much thought, had put it down as some kind of tattoo, just like the ones the members of his tribe wore carved into their skin right above their heart.

But was it?

„You are a L´Cie too!" the guardian to be realised with a start. His eyebrows knitting in concern, in worry, his eyes went huge the moment the pink haired warrior chose to speak again.

„I was." Etro´s fallen champion corrected as she lifted her gaze to meet her companion´s puzzled stare.

It was true.

Her´s didn´t look like any L´Cie brand he had ever heard of.

It´s colours strangely dimmed, it was somehow broken, faded. No longer counting down her time.

Curious...

Caius Ballad had never heard of any way the progress of a L´Cie brand could be stopped.

Maybe it were the effects of the timetravel?

He couldn´t tell...

Come to think of it he had never asked the pink haired warrior how she had managed to travel back through time exactly.

Maybe he´d better save that question for another time tough.

That woman there in front of him, to him she was a complete mistery.

And the more he learned about her, the worse it seemed to get, the less he seemed to understand.

The person in question looking up at him, their eyes locked in what felt like the most initmate case of eyecontact the purple haired guardian had ever experienced.

Caius Ballad´s dark amethyst eyes boring into her´s, piercing her´s, probing her´s, the intensity of his stare making her feel slightly uncomfortable, the pink haired warrior found her nervous system sending tiny shivers up and down her spine.

Already dreading what was going to come next, although prepared for her purple haired companion´s next words, the guardian to be´s next question still made the already suspecting woman flinch.

„What was your focus?" the attentive male inquired. His voice suddenly intimidating and low, his words were followed by a whole minute of silence.

A whole minute filled with nothing but the crackling sound of burning wood and the calming chirrs of nearby crickets.

A whole minutes spent staring into each others eyes.

Curious amethyst eyes meeting devastated blue ones.

„To destroy Cocoon." the pink haired warrior finally answered, her voice suddenly soft and fragile as she allowed herself to drown in the guardian´s eyes for just a little longer.

It took the completely baffled hunter a few seconds to react, to digest that information.

„Did you succeed?" he asked, his eyes lingering at the brand on her chest as once again he wondered how she had managed to make it stop.

„Hm... Does this look like indestructable crystal to you?" the pink haired warrior chuckled dryly, holding up her palms to indicate that she was still of flesh and blood, before her eyes briefly trailing to her hands, she slowly made to look up into his eyes again.

Silence.

„Yes..."

It was nothing more than a whisper.

„Cocoon fell."

The guardians eyebrows riding up, Lightning watched his soft lips parting but no words came out.

„It was saved just before it crashed into Gran Pulse though." the pink haired warrior said.

Her words were bitter.

„In the end it was someone else´s job to destroy the world..." she added pensively.

Her eyes darting to the guardian´s chest were she knew a few centuries into the future there would be the heart of Chaos beating hard inside his ribcage, the pink haired warrior, she only gave a tiny sigh.

Of course.

It was his.

* * *

 _I crave the calm that used to rule my life._

 _At the time I mistook it for a bore and shunned it._

 _Now inmidst all the Chaos that I have created,_

 _the calm is all the adventure that I seek._

\- M. Segreto

* * *

Some parts and formulations taken from FFXIII/FFXIII-2 and several of their Wikipedia entries. I hope you don´t mind.

Hope you liked this little shorter chapter!

You can already prepare yourself for something unexpected happening in the next chap (I´m already looking forward to your reactions on that one)

\+ With this chapter we have officially reached the chapterwhise middle of this story. Yes there will be only 7 more chapters to go. But I already have some surprises waiting (like an interlude and an epilogue adding 2 additional short chapters to the story;) Don´t worry.

Anyway:

* * *

 **HOPE YOU ENJOYED.**

 **AND PLEASE STAY TUNED.**


	9. Chapter VIII: Hearts of Chaos

Thank you my dear readers for all the encouraging feedback you gave me on my last chap. Eventhough it was only a filler.

That was sooooo nice of you.

You make me so happy =)

I love you!

Anyway guys... time to read this story´s next chapter.

I hope you came prepared.

And please don´t hate me... Or at least try not to ^^

Well alright... hate me if you want to. I´m all yours.

* * *

Far Cry 4 OST - Unfamiliar Paths

 **CHAPTER VIII: HEARTS OF CHAOS**

 _Alice: „How long is forever?"_

 _White Rabbit: „Sometimes just one second."_

\- Lewis Carroll

* * *

It was early in the morning, still a good few hours before sunrise, that Claire Farron, the warrior blessed by the Goddess Etro and Caius Ballad, the man who was going to go down in history as Paddra Nsu-Yeul´s eternal guardian were roaming the adjoining woodlands for herbs and roots the purple haired hunter´s sister had sent them out to gather for some of her medical supplies.

The summer was finally drawing to a close.

Although the days were still warm and sunny, the nights were already starting to grow cooler and cooler.

The air around them foggy, and cold, with winter approaching fast, the two hunters saw their breath mist out in front of them already, found the ground underneath their feet wet and muddy and the leaves of the trees around them slowly changing their colours from luch juicy greens to soothing yellows, oranges and browns.

Watching the glorious play of colours illuminated by the silver shine of Cocoon, Lightning couldn´t help but realize that she had been here in the Archylte Steppe for a little more than two and a half months already.

Had it really been that long?

Somehow it felt hard to believe.

To the pink haired warrior it felt like only yesterday that she had landed there in this long forgotten past.

Anyway, she wouldn´t have to stay much longer...

With the legs of her trousers brushing against the nearby bushes and her boots treading on those many traps of bare rotten roots and loose withered branches, making her way through the underwood slowly, carefully, Lightning scanned the ground for those telltale tiny blue buds, she knew indicated the presence of those rare growing herbs Cara required for one of her drugs.

„I saw you receive message from Yeul the day before..." Caius admitted after quiet some time of peaceful strolling, catching the pink haired warrior completely lost in thought.

The guardian _w_ alking a few feet to her right, his eyes, instead of trained on the ground to do their job, he had them set on her.

That revelation of his hitting her out of the blue, for a few moments Lightning didn´t know what to say.

It wasn´t as if she had been planning to keep this a secret...

Still, she hadn´t been eager to spread the news either.

She had no idea how he had gotten wind of it exactly (had he been spying on her?!), but well...

He was right of course. As usual.

She had been sitting outside Cara´s hut enjoying the gentle warm rays of the previous afternoon´s autumn sun, when suddenly that messenger had arrived.

A scrawny young man, not older than maybe sixteen, dressed in bright blue robes and a tattered old hat, he had suddenly been standing right in front of her, had handed her that battered yellowed envelope she had accepted there with slightly shaking fingers.

That same envelope she had opened later in her room to reveal that elegant spidery handwriting, suddenly so strangely familiar, and only four meaningful words.

 _„Come and see me."_

There had been no signature, no sender, no anything.

There was no need for any.

Lightning knew.

Knew anyway.

Of course.

It was from Yeul.

Who else could have sent her this?

There was no soul outside the village who even knew of her existance.

„Yes... I need to go and see her. See her soon." the pink haired warrior replied. Her eyes slowly wandering skywards as she looked up at Cocoon intimidatingly looming above, Lighting had a hard time swallowing that lump that she suddenly felt forming in her troat.

Would she be back up there soon?

Back in her own time?

She wasn´t exactly sure what would await her once she´d be able to retrun.

Either way.

She was dying to find out.

„Depending on what she´s got to tell me I might be able to go home soon." she added somewhat excitedly.

Yes.

She was excited.

Excited to finally recieve some news, to finally be able to do something, to finally make some progress in this hopeless case that was her mission.

Excited to leave.

Or was she?

Suddenly she wasn´t so sure anymore.

She had done everything in her power to fulfil what Cara had once asked from her, right?

She had worked hard, worked endlessly in fact, to help out people from the village, to contribute to the community, had went out for hunts, had gathered supplies, had participated in festivities, had faced death and deadly monsters and completely against all odds, she had even managed to somewhat befriend the purple haired hunter who once had been her enemy.

Who would have thought...

Yes, having done all those things and more, Etro´s fallen champion figured it was enough, that finally she was ready to leave, to go back home, to find a way to travel back into the future, where surely she belonged to.

Of course she´d miss this place.

She knew that.

Would miss it´s calm, quiet starry nights, it´s warm soft summer breezes, it´s endless grasslands, it´s soothing peace, it´s harmony.

Would miss the cozy village and it´s kind, friendly people, their foreign eating habits and their jolly parties.

And she´d miss Cara, the generous purple haired nurse who had somehow become her hostess.

Hell, she´d probably even miss Caius.

Miss his crazy stares, his stupid smiles, their silly banter.

Their endless conversations...

 _Caius..._

What about him?

Would Caius miss her too?

They had spent so much time together, had been through a lot together.

Especially recently...

 _Yes..._

They had somehow managed to built some kind of friendship over those past weeks.

Because surely that was all they were.

Friends.

Nothing more, right?

Surely Caius would miss her too, or would he?

Looking up into those dark pensive features of that man who had come to a halt some feet away from her, Lightning guessed she already knew the answer.

„I see..." was all he said.

Sounding more than a little disappointed, the purple haired hunter slowly averted his gaze, made to continue down their path in silence.

 _Caius..._

She had already guessed he wouldn´t take it all too well.

He had been reluctant to let her go before, hadn´t he?

Well there was nothing she could do about it this time.

He´d just have to live with it.

„You know... You could just stay here..." the purple haired man suddenly said. Turning around again to stop only a few meters away from her, he just stood there, looking at her expectantly.

„You know... Just stay here with us in the Archylte Steppe..." he suggested, his words trailing off at the end, he stopped speaking alltogether the moment he took in his companion´s marble features, set into a mask of indifference once again, the moment the pink haired warrior infront of him shook her head in refusal.

Trying to act nonchalantly, but failing terribly, he took a few steps towards her, the corners of his lips twitching as if he wanted to say more but for some reason had decided against it, he came to stand in front of her, nervously shifting his weight.

"I for my part wouldn´t mind you staying..." he disclosed, his eyes sincere.

Lightning couldn´t help but stare at him.

The way he had said it, he made it sound more like a question than actually a statement.

Having Caius Ballad, the man who used to be her mortal enemy, say things like that, it still creeped her out to no end.

Still...

Those dark charismatic eyes, pleading her to stay, they were enough to make her determination waver once again.

This strange place she had so unexpectedly been stranded in, now that finally the time had come, parting suddenly seemed so much harder than she had initially thought.

Everything seemed perfect here.

There was no battle, no fight, no pain here.

No war or destruction.

All those horrible things that used to haunt her memories...

Here, they hadn´t even happened yet.

Wouldn´t happen until quite some time...

Wouldn´t it be nice to just stay here?

Far away from all those horrors.

Those nightmares.

To just leave them behind...

In a place where none of them existed...

In a place without Chaos...

In a place where her worst enemy was nothing but a loyal hunting buddy, maybe her friend even...

To just leave it all behind and let the future stay where it belonged.

In the future.

And just focus on the present instead...

 _But no._

She couldn´t possibly do that.

She couldn´t stay.

No way.

She needed to find a way back to Serah. Back to everyone.

Needed to find a way to keep her from ever going on her journey.

A way to save her.

A way to turn that vision from Valhallla into reality.

All those people...

They were relying on her.

Their lifes depended on her.

She knew it was on her to find a way to save them.

To save the future.

It was her fate.

Her destiny.

But still!

 _Still..._

There was that tiny voice inside of her, that tiny part of her that wanted her to stay.

To stay here in this long forgotten past.

In the Archylte Steppe.

With Caius...

It was crazy and irrational and wrong and she knew she shouldn´t feel like this in the first place, but still she did.

There was no denying it.

„Caius... I... I can´t." she told him somewhat reluctantly, feeling slightly torn as fighting to keep up her carefully guarded composure, she made to just brush past him and follow the muddy path that wound it´s way through the woods Cara Ballad had sent them to in search for those few blasted plants.

She didn´t get far though.

„Why?" The guardian making her stop by touching her upper arm just a few meters further, the pink haired warrior spun around to face him once again.

Why did he have to make this so hard for her?

„You wouldn´t understand." she contered, maybe a little bit too aggressively.

It instantly made the purple haired hunter let his hand drop back to his side.

„Is it because you have to save the world?" the disheartened male inquired carefully, as intently studying his companion´s face he tried to find a hint of what was going on behind those marble features.

He could only guess.

„Something like that." was all the answer that he got before the pink haired woman giving him a warning glare, she turned around to continue on their quest.

The purple haired guardian, watching her retreating back, he only sighed in frustration.

Of course she couldn´t stay with him.

She had far more important stuff to handle.

He underststood of course.

He really did.

But still, it pained him.

The thought of that woman leaving him, of never actually having as much as a chance of ever seeing her again, with the both of them stranded in two different worlds, in two different times, seperated by a thousand years of history, it almost felt unbearable.

He had developed feelings for her.

He really had.

He´d never thought it possible but somehow the pink haired warrior had piqued his interest the second he had first seen her lying in that clearing of those very woods. And having seen her in his visions, in his dreams, he had figured that their fates were somehow linked, that somehow they had been destined to meet.

Yes.

Their meeting there, it just couldn´t have been a coincidence.

People weren´t just warped a thousand years into the past for no reason at all! Just to stay there a few weeks and then go back again, right?

No!

 _No..._

Things like this, surely they happened for a reason.

There had to be a reason she had been brought back right here, right back to him.

There just had to!

The determined woman walking there in front of him, she didn´t seem to feel this way at all...

Would she even miss him?

Would she even remember him?

Or would she forget about ever having met him first thing as soon as she returned to her time?

Just treat him and their encounter as some dull infinitely insignificant historical fact, doomed to become nothing but some negligible hazy memory stored away into the dusty furthermost corners of her mind, never to be recalled again...

He didn´t know.

But one thing he knew for sure.

He´d miss her.

He´d miss her like crazy.

Suddenly faced with the fact that he would be roaming the plains alone again some time soon, that she just wouldn´t be there anymore, that he wouldn´t be able to see her anymore, to even talk to her, Caius Ballad felt his heart twist painfully inside his chest.

He had only just found her...

How was he supposed let her go now?

It didn´t seem fair...

Them parting...

It felt so wrong, so cruel.

Just thinking about it pained him, hurt.

But it was what she wanted... Wasn´t it?

She wanted to go home. Wanted to see her sister. Her world. More than anything.

And he needed to respect her wishes, didn´t he?

If she wanted to leave...

If she chose the future over him, over staying here with him, there was nothing he could do about it, could he?

He couldn´t force her.

He wouldn´t even want to, even if he could.

Never...

 _No._

He just needed to let her go.

Completely lost in his depressing thoughts, Caius Ballad stumbled over sticks and stones, roots and holes in the ground, wandering the shadows of the nightly thicket at a crawl, he didn´t even bother to look for those needed plants anymore.

He found he didn´t care.

Soon the girl he was falling for would leave him...

Leave him and his world, his time, behind forever...

But hey...

Maybe there was also something good to it.

If she returned now that would mean there´d be no chance for her to witness the war of Transgression, no chance for them to encounter in battle, right?

Their fight for life and death that had rendered the guardian to be sleepless for weeks, there was just no way it could ever take place once she had safely returned to her time.

Seperated by a multitude of lifetimes, there was simply no way for them to cross swords anymore.

Yes...

Maybe it really were for the better if she left.

„Here... Caius, I might have found something!" the sound of her voice making him snap back to reality, looking up at his companion´s pretty features, the purple haired guardian didn´t even bother to look at the bunch of bioluminescent green leaves the dutiful female had indicated growing on the ground below with her slender index finger.

Those uncommon herbs she was now bending down to pull out of the ground to eagerly stuff into her pockets, he didn´t care about them.

Not even in the slightest.

He didn´t even glance at them.

Not even once.

No.

His eyes were fixed on her face instead.

Were busy watching every move, every inch of her.

Were drinking in the way the soft moonlight reflected by Cocoon radiating off her pale smooth skin lit her pretty features, the way the soft autumn breeze was gently playing with her pinkish hair, the way her sweet pink lips moved when they formed their words.

When they formed his name.

Standing there inmidst those dark thick bushes, in the shadows of the nearby trees, to Caius Ballad, she was irresistable.

„What do you think? Looks exactly like the one in the drawing Cara showed us, don´t you think?" the pink haired warrior asked, completely oblivious to the track her companion´s thoughts had wandered off to.

Silence.

„Caius?" the female tried once more, her voice turning slightly concerned as the guardian to be gave no indication of answering whatsoever and for a brief moment she wondered whether he had actually heard at all.

Looking up to check on him, she found the purple haired male just standing there, staring at her from his place only a few feet away from her.

She hadn´t just caught him staring, had she?

„I´m sorry.." the male in question stammered.

Seeming slightly confused himself he took a step closer to take one of the leaves the pink haired warrior was offering him in her outstretched hand and holding it up against the pale light of Cocoon he slowly made to rotate it between his fingers to carefully inspect the plant from every angle.

„Yes, that looks about right." he finally approved.

Returning the plant to her pocket where it savely rested with the others, using the task as an excuse to avert her gaze, Etro´s fallen champion gave a long frustrated sigh.

It hadn´t escaped the pink haired warrior´s notice. Not even for a second. Neither the forlorn look on her purple haired companion´s face nor the way his words were tinged with sadness.

She had a feeling she already knew what this all was about.

„Caius... Look - " She started tentatively, unsure of what she was actually going to say.

Her words were cut off appruptly though, as, looking up to talk to him, she found herself startled to realise that he was suddenly standing right in front of her.

 _Damn!_

She couldn´t rememeber when he had gotten that close.

Rendered speechless for the next few seconds, completely startled by the sudden unexpected lack of distance between herself and that man she knew her enemy, Etro´s fallen champion just stood there completely motionless, unable to even move her pinky finger.

Was he going to attack her?!

Her eyes meeting his in trepidation, the purple haired guardian´s face only inches from her own, it was as if time itself stood still as she felt his breath ghost against the skin of her cheek, felt the warmth of his body reaching out for her, as for what seemed like an eternity Etro´s fallen champion allowed herself to drown in those dark amethyst eyes of his, smoldering dephts suddenly full of pain, of longing.

Caius Ballad knew she wouldn´t want him.

Not when all she was set on was to find a way back to the future.

But then on the other hand...

Maybe...

Just maybe, she would.

The way her pale blue eyes were looking up at him.

Intently...

Expectanly...

He had invaded her private space and she had neither retreated nor told him off.

She hadn´t even pushed him away yet as she had done before.

She had spent the night with him.

He had brought her to his hideout, to his sanctuary, and she had let him take her hand.

Maybe it wasn´t even so farfetched, so unthinkable, that maybe, just maybe, there was the tinyest of possibilities that she could like him too.

All of this...

The timetravel...

Those visions...

It couldn´t just be one huge cosmic coincidence.

No, it couldn´t.

This mysterious woman, she was led to him by fate.

She had to feel the same way about him.

She did, didn´t she?

Well there was one way to find out for certain...

But naaa...

She wouldn´t want him to...

She wouldn´t let him...

Or would she?

 _Come on now._

This was not the time to be a coward.

What had he to loose?

She was going to leave him anyway...

And feeling his heartbeat in his chest speed up, acting completely on impulse, Caius Ballad moved in to close the distance between their bodies, before, his eyes fluttering shut and his hands travelling to his pink haired companion´s hips, he leaned down to gently brush his lips against her´s.

* * *

There was a low clicking sound and the instant he felt the soft touch of her lips there on his own, there was the solid cold muzzle of a loaded six-shooter´s barrel pressing against the sensitive skin of his temple, making the unsuspecting guardian freeze in mid action – and his heart plummet.

„Stay away from me Ballad!" the unpredictable female hissed against his lips.

Her voice was dead.

Dangerous.

Completely devoid of emotion.

Those words dripping with anger, with rage, Caius Ballad knew they weren´t meant as a threat.

They were a warning.

This wasn´t a joke.

This was real.

Just one wrong move now and she´d shoot him.

She´d shoot him just like that.

Holding the barrel of her weapon to the purple haired guardian´s skull, Etro´s fallen champion realized her fingers trembled, realized her hand glasping that blasted gun was shaking uncontrollably.

The heart in her chest beating away erratically, skipping tiny beats here and there, she felt her companion´s hands slowly fall away from her hips as swallowing hard, not even daring to look into her eyes, Caius Ballad brought them up to the height of his head in what he hoped she would perceive as a conciliatory gesture.

„I´m sorry... I..." the intimidated male started somewhat tentatively only to have the muzzle of that cursed revolver press into the side of his head even harder as the pink haired warrior simply chose to silence him by bringing the gun to full cock.

He´d fucking better shut up now.

Taking a few safe steps away from him, Lightning finally let the weapon clasped in her hand drop away from her companion´s head and aiming at his heart instead, she patiently waited for the guardian to be to muster the courage to look at her.

 _That stupid bastard._

What had he been thinking?

What had he been playing at?!

HOW. DARE. HE.

Was this supposed to be some sick kind of joke?

Did he think this was funny?!

 _No._

What he had just done there...

His behaviour...

It was inacceptable.

Inexcuseable...

No...

This time she was done with him.

She so wasn´t going to take any more of his bullshit.

NOT. ANY. MORE.

A few long painful moments passed before finally Caius Ballad raised his eyes to meet those arctic blue ones.

The pink haired warrior´s expression fierce, her heart pumping with rage, with fury, her breathing erratic, laboured, a muscle in her jaw twitching dangerously, the purple haired guardian knew this was serious.

He had taken a step too far.

He should have known.

He somehow already had.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

She really was going to do him in, wasn´t she?

„Please don´t shoot." he whispered, fighting hard to keep his voice smooth, to keep it steady.

His expression one of dread, of terror, those armethyst eyes pleading, wishing she´d just lower that gun or at least not point it at any of his vital body parts, the man in front of her nervously shifted his weight again.

„Don´t move!" the pink haired warrior spat at him.

Her voice was venomous, deadly, and her eyes narrowed dangerously as she stood there struggling for composure, as feeling the cold metal of the trigger under the tip of her slightly shaking index finger, she fought hard to resist the burning rage, the pent up anger of centuries, tried to ignore those million condemned voices, voices of millions of innocent people the guardian had so coldbloodedly murdered, screaming at her inside her head.

Fought hard to not just pull the trigger and be done with him.

Because sure, it would be the easiest way to return to the future.

Yes, she had thouhgt it all through.

Had thought it through a dozen times already.

Once she´d kill him, nothing of all of the shit in the future caused by him would ever happen.

Nothing.

Without Caius Ballad fighting her and unlaeshing the Chaos, she would have never come here in the first place.

It would just erase the cause of all this trouble, would render the whole purpose of her journey obsolete and most importantly, it would send her straight back to where she had come from.

Where she had started from...

Where she belonged.

Back to the future.

Meaning that she would have never been able to go back into the past at all.

Meaning that she would have never had the chance to kill him here in the first place.

Meaning that everything would be exactly the same way as it had been before she pulled that blasted trigger.

Changing nothing in the bigger picture.

In fact she could have killed him in this scenario a thousand times already...

She wouldn´t even know...

Wouldn´t even realise.

She probably already had.

That stupid fool...

This time he had taken a step too far.

And it wasn´t only the fact that he had had the audacity to kiss her...

No.

What was far worse then what he´d done was the reaction his actions had induced inside of her...

The touch of her companion´s lips, that brief and merely fleeting contact, although it had barely lasted a second, that completely new experience, that memory, in her mind it stood out like a thorn.

It pierced the steely surface of the walls she had errected there around herself ever since her parents had died all those years ago, ever since she had morphed into the fierce warrioress, the soldier „Lightning", that character she had created for herself, went neatly through them and straight down to her very heart.

Her heart...

That secret place she used to hide herself away at, Claire Farron, that girl she had once been, had locked everyone else out of, had been avoiding to visit even herself.

And it was the realisation of it all that terrified her.

Terrified her more than anything.

The undeniable truth that lay burried underneath it all: The gun. The scowls. The hard words. The rage.

That somehow he had managed to sneak past her guards.

That somehow he had managed to make those walls she had been hiding herself behind for all those years crack, to almost make them crumble.

Caius Ballad.

That man she knew her enemy.

Him...

Why did it have to be him?

Him of all people?!

Her hands shaking uncontrollably she tried to will herself to lower that revolver she was still pointing straight at her companion´s heart.

To at least remove her finger from that blasted trigger.

But somehow she found she couldn´t do it.

 _Come on Light..._

She needed to get herself together.

If she killed him now everything she´d gone through...

Everything Serah had been going through...

The stress, the pain, the strain.

It´d be for nothing.

It was true of course.

She´d be a fool to kill him now.

She knew that.

Nothing good would ever come from it.

She just had to make sure to calm down and lower that stupid gun...

He probably wasn´t even worth the bullet.

With only two of them left anymore, she definitely wasn´t in the position to waste any.

She could always punch him in the face instead...

„Listen... I... " the man in question started tentatively.

Not sure how he was going to say what he was about to say, or if it even was the right time to bring this up at all, his pleading amethyst eyes never leaving her´s, he let his arms sink to his sides defeatedly.

The way he looked at her...

So hurt...

So desperate...

Slowly extending his hand in what was surely meant to be a calming gesture, he took one tiny step in her direction, carefully reached out for her, to try and get her to lower that arm of her´s that was still aiming to kill him, to try and make her understand, to somehow summon the courage and tell her what he dearly hoped wouldn´t be his final words.

„Lightning... I think I might have fallen in lo-"

 _Well..._

 _Screw it._

The purple haired guardian, opening his mouth to speak, he was suddenly cut off by the earsplitting bang of a gun going off, tearing the silence of the surrounding woodlands like a deafening clash of thunder.

There was the echo of that shot quaking the muddy forrest ground, resonating from the nearby cliffs and the offended cry of a lonely Gorgonopsid somewhere in the distance.

A flock of birds exploding in a burst of flapping wings and angry cries, taking flight from one of those many broad leaved trees and a couple of hares alarmedly hopping off from behind some nearby bushes, scaredly taking off into every direction.

The soft rustle of the nightly breeze caressing the dried up leaves.

And the ever present sheen of Cocoon, tinging the lands below in it´s cover of silver light.

Shocked at her own actions, Etro´s fallen champion almost let the gun carrying only one more bullet drop from her shaky fingers and down to the earthy ground.

What had she done?!

There was a grunt of pain and a certain purple haired guardian to be breathing heavily, clutching his shoulder right above his heart with his trembling right hand.

His heart...

She had missed it by inches.

There was that unbelieving shocked stare etched onto his face, his features contorted in agony, as gritting his teeth in the futile attempt to cope with the searing pain coursing through his upper body, the dark clad man slowly made to look up at the woman still holding that blasted weapon aimed at him.

„Ah! Fuck..." the hunter groaned frustratedly. His brain almost unable to grasp the fact that he´d been shot, that he´d in fact only very narrowly evaded death, it took him a few moments to realize what actually had just happened.

„You shot!"

Accusation and disbelieve writen all over his face, his shoulder, arm and chest hurting as if part of his body was being cut off, the bullet that had forced it´s way deep into his flesh stinging like hell, Caius Ballad couldn´t fathom what she had actually shot him for.

Couldn´t fathom why she had done this to him.

Couldn´t fathom how she could even do this to him.

Okay...

He shouldn´t have kissed her!

He´d gotten the message!

He had already gotten it the second he had felt the cold metal of that gun press against his skin.

He might have pushed his luck.

He might have gone a step to far.

But this...

This was...

„You moved." the pink haired warrior´s stated matter of factly.

Her explanation came instantly and levelheaded.

She sounded calm.

Calculated.

Busineslike.

Caius almost couldn´t bear it.

Couldn´t bear it, actually.

His forehead wrinkled in confusion, his eyes darting around helpessly, fishing for words to say but unable to find any, clutching his bleeding shoulder, Caius Ballad just turned around and stalked off.

There were no words to describe how he felt.

No words to describe the excrutiating pain in his shoulder, the unbearable pain in his heart, that eventhough unharmed by the lead of that bullet, was screaming at him in agony.

No words that could ever express how much it hurt.

The fact that she had shot him.

Had aimed to kill him.

Because yes, it hurt.

Hurt even more than any amount of bullets could have ever hurt him.

She had just shot him.

 _Just like that._

* * *

Etro´s fallen champion, remaining standing there in the thicket of the quiet forests for a little while longer, she slowly brought the fingers of her left hand up to touch her lips.

Softly tracing the spot where their lips had met only moments ago, where he – the guardian - had kissed her for the very first time, the feeling of his lips against her´s still lingering, she somehow couldn´t get it off her mind.

The bastard had stolen her first kiss...

Just like that.

She couldn´t believe it.

This just couldn´t be real.

It was just...

Letting her hand slowly fall back to her side, carefully making sure to decock that blasted six shooter she was still clasping in her right hand, she couldn´t help but shake her head.

That gesture of confusion followed by one of her frustrated sighs, now that her rage was ebbing away Lightning couldn´t help but feel her insides twist with guilt, with regret even.

What had gotten into her?

She had tried to shoot him there.

Had actually aimed to kill him.

He had stood right in front of her.

If it weren´t for her blasted hands shaking so terribly, she was sure she wouldn´t have missed at all.

 _Caius Ballad._

He had really kissed her.

She almost couldn´t believe it.

 _Wait!_

What had he been trying to say the moment she had shot him?!

She suddenly wasn´t sure anymore...

Savely stowing the decocked gun away, the timetravelling female took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves.

How could this have happened?

How come she´d lost control like that?

That whole situation...

Caius´ actions...

They had hit her out of the blue.

Mentally facepalming herself at her own stupidity, she couldn´t help but give one of her incredulous snorts.

He hadn´t been thinking about attacking her, he had been planning to kiss her.

Of course...

Caius Ballad had taken a fancy to her.

She should have realised earlier.

Now that she thought about it, suddenly she wondered.

How could she not have realized?

There had been signs.

Subtle.

But still there.

The way he somehow always was around her.

The way he always seemed to be there for her, eager to help her out with whatever it was she needed help with.

The way he sometimes looked at her, as if she were the only thing that mattered, that existed, with his eyes full of hope, full of affection.

Yes, Caius Ballad had developed feelings for her, had been falling for her.

And that kiss...

 _Damn..._

She should have seen it coming, she should have guessed.

She should have been prepared.

But she wasn´t.

Caius Ballad´s kiss had caught her completely off guard, had come completely unexpected.

And that look he had given her just before he had turned around and left...

The way he had been staring at her with his eyes so devastated, so full of pain, full of betrayal.

It haunted her.

Would haunt her till the day she died.

* * *

Not a word had been spoken on their way back to the small hunter´s village and it should take a very long time for their tempers to cool down again.

Passing the huge wooden gates without checking for his pink haired companion even once, Caius Ballad immidiately left the main road and took down one of those many pebbly paths he knew so well, the one that had led him down to his sister´s hut so many times already.

The purple haired nurse sitting inside her cozy shack, unsuspectingly chatting with some of her friends, the image of her younger brother standing there in the doorway, still clutching his injured shoulder, the left sleeve of his shirt completely soaked in blood, it was enough to make her jump to her feet with a start.

The older Ballad, she didn´t ask for any explanation, but just wordlessly shooed the curiously staring people outside before closing the door behind her, she gestured for the guardian to sit down on her kitchen table.

Her younger brother positioning himself on the rough wooden surface of the table top, his complexion pale and his whole body trembling in shock, in pain, with the palm of his right hand pressing against the wound in his shoulder, slowly approaching him to gently unbutton his shirt, Cara already dreaded what she was going to find right there, hidden underneath that layer of thin dark cotton clothes.

And it was stifling a gasp that she helped him remove the garments to finally reveal the nasty looking entrance wound of that bullet, a wound that would probably render his left arm useless for weeks, gaping at her in all it´s splendour.

That nearly exactly circular hole, with the skin around it slightly darkened, singed at the edges...

It certainly wasn´t something Cara had ever seen before.

The duteous nurse, she didn´t waste any time with staring though, as taking out a piece of fresh clean cloth, carefully dabbing away at it, she instantly started on cleaning the wound.

 _Poor Caius..._

The way he was staring at the opposite wall...

The way his lower lip was still trembling with shock...

The way his breath was coming in small shaky bouts...

Cara Ballad couldn´t help but pity him.

That was a nasty injury he had received there.

It was bound to hurt as hell...

How had he received it in the first place?

She didn´t need to ask whome her brother owed this to.

There was only one person around whielding a weapon that had the potential to inflict a wound such as this one after all.

 _Lightning..._

But she couldn´t fathom how it could have come to it.

Last time she had checked the two of them had gotten along pretty well.

And Caius wasn´t one to pick a fight.

She just couldn´t picture him doing anything that warranted a bullet to his flesh from her.

No...

He wouldn´t have hurt her.

He´d never hurt anybody, especially not her.

He liked her.

A lot.

This was obvious for everyone to see.

Where was she anyway?!

Shaking her head to clear her mind, the purple haired woman made to focus on her task instead.

There was no use thinking about this now.

She had some work to do.

The experienced nurse finished with cleaning the wound, she made to take a closer look in an attempt to asses the extend of the injury before trying to estimate the location of the projectile, she carefully started to work on removing the bullet.

It wasn´t a pleasant undertaking for the guardian to be.

That piece of lead having forced it´s way deep into his flesh, it took him everything he had to try and keep still while he let his sister fish around for that blasted thing inside his shoulder.

Cara Ballad didn´t care.

Tuning the world around her out completely, concentrating only on the task at hand, using the fingers of her left hand she stretched the skin around the entry wound while expertly handling a pair of tweezers with her right, after a few minutes of gritted teeth and carefully surpressed groans from Caius´ side, she finally managed to retrieve the culprit.

He had been lucky.

So very lucky.

The damn thing had missed his subclavian artery by barely an inch and from what she could make out it hadn´t even shattered any bones.

Sure it had to be painful, terriby painful, and sure it woud take some while to heal but as far as she could tell, at least he wouldn´t carry any lasting damage.

Well not in his shoulder at least...

She couldn´t speak for his feelings of course.

It was shortly after Cara was done, that suddenly the door to the hut was thrown open with a bang and letting in the cool fresh autumn breeze there she stood, the pink haired warrior, her head hanging and her arms dangling uselessly at her sides, with remorse written all over her face she clearly had come to appologize.

Her purple haired hostess greeting her with a short accusing glare, the guilty female obviously ashamed of her behaviour, she quickly averted her gaze to her feet.

No.

Of course Cara wouldn´t approve of this.

She couldn´t blame her. Not in the least.

Who would?

The older woman quickly turning to rummage in one of her cupboards, a tactful attempt to give the couple behind her some privacy, Etro´s fallen champion took the opportunity to carefully approach her former nemesis.

„Are you... okay?" she tried tentatively. Meeting his gaze only briefly, unable to look into those devastated amethyst eyes of his any longer, she let her beautiful pale blue ones trail down to the wound in his shoulder, where the skin around the bullet´s entrance was already starting to bruise a nasty deep purple colour that would match his hair.

The guardian to be staring daggars at his future enemy, that woman that he had fallen in love with, that same woman who had given him that injury, he wasn´t sure how to respond.

It was obvious that he was not okay...

How was he supposed to be okay?!

He had taken a leap of faith showing her his feelings...

It had taken him weeks to find the courage to approach her...

He had given her everything.

Had saved her from a pack of murderous beasts...

Had helped her out wherever he could...

Had offered her to stay, had offered her a place in his village, his community...

He had accepted her as his companion, eventhough he knew one day they would be enemies...

He had even risked his life to save her from that river´s drowning currents...

And he had been shot in the shoulder as a thanks.

 _No._

He certainly was not _okay_.

„He won´t be able to properly use his arm for quite some time I´m afraid and he´ll probably be in terrible pain for the next few days, but besides, I guess he´s fine." Cara chimed in when after a few minutes spent in silence, the purple haired guardian still hadn´t shown the slightest inclination to answer.

The diligent nurse throwing the other woman a warning glare, she only watched as the pink haired warrior hesitantly took a seat next to the doorway, before turning back to the guardian to be and opening a bottle of desinfectant, she made to resume her work.

That mysterious pink haired woman.

She just sat there.

Sneaking worried glances into her companion´s direction every now and then, nervously chewing her lip, unable to meet his gaze, she made to study her boots instead.

What had she done this time?

What had happened there in the thickets of those nightly woods?

Cara couldn´t fathom.

The both of them had seemed okay when she had sent them out to gather her supplies, had seemed to get along together perfectly what couldn´t have possibly been longer than an hour ago...

Shaking her head in disbelieve Cara Ballad placed the bottle´s cap on the wodden table and carefully spreading the wound with the tips of her fingers she unceremoniosly poured it´s contents over it, making the guardian to be groan in agony, making him grab the edge of the table so hard that the knuckls of his good hand turned white.

The intensity of the ensuing pain, that burning sensation spreading all over the left side of his upper body, it was blinding him, paralysing him.

And for a short moment there, it even overshadowed the pain in his heart.

That soft spot.

His weakness.

Where she had hit him worst.

It only lasted for a few moment thought.

And then those temporarily tuned out thoughts, that horribly painful awareness of what had happened there under the tall lean trees of the nearby woodlands was back again, came charging at him out of nowhere and hit him all over again.

How could she do this to him?!

His gaze wandering over to the subject of his musings, he couldn´t help but wonder.

What had he done to deserve this?!

He had kissed her...

Okay...

He had fallen in love with her...

And she obviously didn´t return his feelings...

OKAY.

But why did she have to shoot him?!

Why did she have to try and kill him like some dirty stray dog?!

Caius Ballad couldn´t understand.

His sister busy taking a cloth and pressing it against his wound using the palm of her hand, she patienty waited for the bleeding to subside before she turned around to retrieve her suture kit.

Caius Ballad didn´t even notice.

Amethyst eyes shooting daggars at the pink haired woman sitting there in front of him only a few meters away, with her hands in her lap nervously picking at her cuticles, her gaze carefully trained at the floor, seemingly eager to avoid his death glare, the guardian pensively studied the time traveller´s features, waited for her to do something, to say some more, waited, while his older sister meticulously started to stitch him up.

But the insolent woman in front of him, she didn´t even dare to so much as glance at him.

The wound now closed, Cara Ballad, producing on of her greenish homemade oinments out of the dephts of yet another cupboard, she generously applied a good amount of the thick greasy paste all over the injured shoulder before she finished her job by covering the wound with a tightly sitting bandage.

She only took another minute to hastily put her things away and with another accusing glance at Lightning she decided to leave the two to themselves.

She´d rather get out of there, as fast as she could.

This was between them only.

Clearly none of her busines.

There were another few minutes of complete silence, where, not even a bird daring to chirp out in the early morning hours of the newborn day, the both of them just sat there, unable to find the words to say.

The purple haired guardian finally getting up from his position on the table top, still clutching his now freshly bandaged wound, he slowly made towards the exit.

„Caius... I´m s -" the pink haired warrier started tentatively. Getting up as well, she took a few steps towards him, carefully risked a remorseful glance at the brooding male in front of her.

He cut her off almost instantly.

His dark armethyst eyes suddenly hostile, dangerous, Lightning couldn´t help but feel her heart sink.

„Dont´t waste your breath." he spat at her as brushing past her, he left into the fresh clear morning air.

* * *

 _Maybe there is something you´re afraid to say._

 _Or someone you´re afraid to love._

 _Or somewhere you´re afraid to go._

 _And it´s gonna hurt._

 _It´s gonna hurt because it matters._

\- John Green

* * *

 **I am Chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.**

* * *

I´m so sorry guys. I just had to let this happen.

I´m almost dreading your reviews this time... Almost;)

Sooo next chapter will be a little longer, so please don´t be angry with me if it´ll take a little more time until the next update. (No two weeks intervals anymore I´m afraid.)

But hey: Yeul will appear again next time and she will have quite a lot of information with her. So some interesting stuff is going to happen soon.

Anyway, I´m already looking forward to all your lovely comments on this wonderful jolly chapter;) Let out all your anger, I´m prepared.

* * *

 **THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE STAY TUNED!**


	10. Chapter IX: Pillars of Eternity

Hi guys!

Here it is, the long awaited next chapter. I´m sorry for the wait BUT as you will see this one is quite long again and as you may understand while reading it, it was the hardest one to write up until now. It took a lot effort to piece this one together, believe me.

So this is probably the most important chapter in the story so far, I did my best to present it´s contents in an understandable manner. However I´m sure there will be a lot of open questions by the end of this one so if you want any of them answered please feel free to contact me per PM or per review as usual. I will gladly answer everything I can. (Please keep in mind that there are some questions I ´won´t answer, as they are probably going to hint at later events I wouldn´t want to spoil for you).

I´m always open for suggestions or improvement tips - especially with this chap so please just let me know if you have are any. I´d be happy to implement them asap.

Also as you will realise there are a loooooot of quotes in this one mixed under the text. Don´t be angry with me. I just love quotes and there were so many fitting this one. I will give credit at the end of the chap.

SO enough of dull bla bla.

Here´s the chapter.

* * *

 **HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

* * *

(I listened to Yeul´s theme LaLa version most of the time again;) )

 **CHAPTER IX: PILLARS OF ETERNITY**

 _If the doors of perception were cleansed,_

 _Everything would appear to man as it is._

 _Infinite._

\- William Blake

* * *

The air inside the main buidling was mouldy and stale and smelled of leather and oil and freshly baked bread.

It was quiet inside.

With most of the people out working on whatever they needed to get done before winter would approach, not a soul was to be encountered in those narrow musty corridors.

The summer was officially over.

The early autumn sun covered behind a thick cover of dark gray clouds, there wasn´t much light passing through the tiny window of the hunter´s village´s armoury to illuminate those many shelves Etro´s fallen champion was busy raiding for supplies that dreary afternoon in the Archylte Steppe.

Grabbing one of the larger leather bags from one of the higher racks, the pink haired timetraveller hastily started cramming it with random things: a knife, a medium sized Behemoth skin, a piece of flint...

Whatever she thought might come in handy on her upcoming journey.

Completely lost in her thoughts, the fallen warrior didn´t even bother to arrange them into her bag properly, just carelessly stuffed them inside.

She was preparing for her trip to Paddra, for her journey through the uncharted wilderness of the Archylte Steppe and over to the treacherous valleys of the Yaschas Massif.

Her journey to the future.

Home...

Hopefully she would reach her destination soon.

Checking the sky outside to estimate the time of the day, she quickly made to pick up her stuff and hurried over to the hunter´s storeroom two doors further down the corridor, to get her hands on some of that dried meat and a four day´s ration of water, before she searched the stocked up shelves for additional supplies.

She wouldn´t leave today...

No.

It was already getting dark outside and there were still so many things to pack, a lot of preparations to get done.

But soon...

She´d leave soon...

Well...

Lightning didn´t exactly mind the delay.

No.

She had a bad feeling about leaving.

A really bad feeling...

Anyway.

She would gather all her supplies.

Have a good night´s rest.

Say her goodbyes.

And then, when she would be sure she had everything she needed, eventually she´d leave for Paddra.

Would leave for Yeul.

The seeress...

Sure she´d be able to guide her now.

To show her the way.

To point her into the right direction.

Why else could she possibly have sent for her?

Yes...

Lightning was sure.

This time she was finally going home.

And about time too.

She had almost gotten used to the peaceful life of the Archylte Steppe.

Almost...

Well...

It didn´t matter now.

What mattered now, more than anything, was her journey to the future and her mission to keep it safe.

But what was she going to do exactly once she found a way to return?

Inmidst the stress of leaving, her preparations keeping her kind of busy, she hadn´t even given this a proper thought yet.

Well... She could always use the time she had now.

Making her way over to the shelves leaning against the wall on the furthermost side of the room, the pink haired woman took her time taking a look at all the goods stored on those old dusty boards, while silently she racked her mind to come up with some kind of strategy.

What would she do in order to prevent Serah from going on her journey?

How would she keep the world from crumbling into Chaos?

Where would she even start?!

Skipping through all the information that she had there filed inside her head in order to maybe find a clue, a tiny hint, on where to begin, trying to reconstruct the timeline as she remembered it, to put everything into chronological order, with Valhalla, the void beyond, the timetravel and everything, Lightning realised that thinking it all through was actually much more demanding than she would have thought.

Anyway... She was kind of thankful for the distraction.

Thankful to have something to keep her occupied.

Thankful to have something to steer her thoughts away from the purple haired guardian who seemed to constantly haunt her mind these days...

It was the second day after that incident in the woods.

Two days after she had shot him.

And although she had been trying to talk to him, to approach him, to appologize again, he had done his best evading her, had been straightout ignoring her.

They hadn´t talked at all since he had abandoned her that morning back at Cara´s hut.

Sure, their eyes had met a few times since then, but no words had been exchanged..

No, not even one.

 _Caius..._

It didn´t seem like he was going to forgive her anytime soon and sure, Etro´s fallen champion, she understood.

What she had done there, from his point of view, it had to look like an act of madness.

And maybe that was exactly what it had been.

She had overreacted there...

Had lost control...

Had lost control completely.

Had ruined everything...

That fragile construcion of trust, of understanding, that friendship, they had somehow managed to build over all those weeks spent there in the Archylte Steppe, that feeble bond between them, with her foolish actions she had crushed it, had irreversibly severed it, in only a few fatal hasty moments.

Had she sealed her fate there under the shadows of those tall lean trees?

Had she branded Caius Ballad her enemy herself?

Maybe...

But what was she supposed to do?

How could she ever make up for this?

How was she supposed to appologize if he wouldn´t even listen to her?!

What if this had been her chance?

Her only chance to change the future?

Could she have prevented Caius Ballad from becoming her enemy?

What if this had been the reason she had been sent back to the past in the first place? To prevent Caius Ballad from becoming her nemesis by simply befriending him...

But no.

Caius Ballad didn´t only want to be her friend.

Caius Ballad had been trying to kiss her...

Still...

There had been no reason for her to shoot him, had there?

The tips of her fingers pensively running over the smooth surface of the jars so meticulously stored away on those many shelves lining the walls of the hunter´s village´s pantry, unable to focus on the task at hand, the memory of that incident in the woods, of that kiss, still fresh on her mind, Lightning had a hard time getting the irritating male out of her head.

She had tried everything.

Had taken a stroll around the village.

Had taken a bath to try and come down.

Had gone out into the fields to do some hunting.

Had helped some of the villagers tending to their lifestock.

It was no use.

No matter how much she tried to force him out of her head, Caius Ballad kept sneaking back to her thoughts at the very first opportunity.

He was there at the back of her mind, every second of her waking hours.

He was there in her dreams the moment she dared to close her eyes.

Sometimes to haunt her as her enemy.

Sometimes to join her as her what? Companion? Friend? ...

She wasn´t so sure anymore...

Lover?

She almost didn´t even dare to think about this.

And she was horrified, completely mortified to realise that she did feel something for him - something more than just regret and pitty and compassion even - as for what had to be the millionth time that day she found her thoughts drifting back to that incident in the forest.

How completely immersed in her task of finding those blasted leaves they had been sent to retrieve, she hadn´t even noticed him approaching her.

How suddenly he had been standing right in front of her, his hands wandering to her hips and his face only inches fom her own.

How she had snapped, completely lost it, taking out that gun and aiming it straight at his head, his heart.

How he had stood there staring at her. Eyes filled with shock, with disbelieve, with betrayal.

And the way he had spat his words at her. Right before he had left Cara´s hut.

And how it had hurt.

The realisation of what she had done.

The realisation of what she had done to him.

And the fact that there simply was no way.

No way she could ever make this undone.

No way she could ever set this right again.

 _Caius..._

Would he ever be able to forgive her?

She didn´t think so.

No.

Probably not...

* * *

 _Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters._

 _-_ Darren McGreevy

* * *

 _ **I´m sorry. So terribly sorry.**_

* * *

The events of the previous days kept replaying themselves inside her head, kept pestering her all day and it was already dark outside when finally the pink haired warrior returned to Cara Ballad´s hut, that she was faced with the consequences of her stupid slip up in the woods again.

It was the way her hostess looked at her, disapproving, askance, when she saw the pink haired female enter through the front door. That frosty stare that told her, that actually she wasn´t welcome anymore, that her presence wasn´t tolerated anymore, that felt like a stab in Lightning´s heart, it made her freeze dead in her tracks halfway over to her bedroom.

The words accompanying that look, they weren´t meant to soothe the pain.

„You know I like you, Lightning..." The purple haired beauty started, her stern purple eyes piercing the remorseful warrior´s blue ones like hot needles would freshly healed skin.

Mercilessly.

Unforgiving.

Lightning knew that whatever would come next, surely it wasn´t going to be anything nice.

„But the way you treated my brother back the other day... I won´t have it." the older woman stated sternly.

The nurse´s eyes narrowing dangerously, determined to bring her point across, she shook her head in disapproval.

Etro´s fallen champion, she could do nothing but avert her gaze.

Ashamed of herself, ashamed of her actions, she wasn´t able to meet her hostess´ eyes much longer.

Cara was right of course.

Caius had saved her, had taken her in, had accepted her, had helped her out...

It certainly was everything else but okay of her to treat him like she had.

„I don´t know what happened between the two of you and I guess it´s none of my buisness..." Cara continued, her tone serious.

„But I know he really likes you..."

The nurse´s voice somewhat softening at the last part, Lightning only gave a tiny sigh.

She knew that much of course.

Had found out the hard way.

Wasn´t that exactly what had let to all this mess?

„I can tell that much for sure." the older Ballad concluded, her eyes staring at her pleadingly.

What was Cara trying to do here?!

Convince her to give Caius a chance?

The purple haired woman slowly turning to exit, to leave the completely baffled timetraveller to herself, she stopped right in the doorway, before she turned around to speak once more.

„That bullet of yours... I guess it hurt beyond the wound."

It was all she said, then she was off, leaving the pink haired female to the semi darkness of the room.

Lightning just remained there.

Rooted to the spot.

Unable to move.

The nurse´s last words before she left...

They made the guilty female´s insides churn uncomfortably, made her heart give a tentative tiny twinge.

Lightning´s eyes cast to her feet, she remained there for a few seconds longer, completely motionless, as trying hard to make sense of the chaos of her feelings, she tried to come up with what to do.

With what to think.

She really did feel bad about it all.

About the whole situation.

Felt guilty.

And sad.

And stupid.

She felt like shit...

But did she really have to?

Sure, she might have overreacted there in the woods, but she had given Caius a warning, hadn´t she?

She had warned him not to move.

Something he had straightout ignored.

And it was still Caius we were talking about!

Caius Ballad!

The man who was going to kill her. Who was going to kill thousands of people in the future!

There was no reason for her to feel bad about something like shooting him, was there?

She had been trying to kill this guy for centuries.

Had pursued him.

Had fought him.

Had attacked him countless times.

She had even pierced his heart with Blaze Edge´s blade for Etro´s sake!

Still...

This man...

He wasn´t the Caius she once knew...

Not the one she´d meet a thousand years into the future.

Or was he?

No. He wasn´t.

There still was no doubt to that.

The Caius from the future...

He would have never tried and kissed her.

He would have never risked his life to save her´s.

And yeah...

Maybe the Caius of these times didn´t deserve to get punished for his future self´s sins.

Sins he technically hadn´t even comitted yet.

And he definitely didn´t deserve getting shot for her own faults, for her own weakness. Because yes, her body´s reactions toward his advances, they mostly were to blame for the shock that had triggered her reaction.

The touch of his lips against her own...

Although only feintly...

Although only for the fraction of a second...

Why couldn´t she stop thinking about it anymore?

Why couldn´t she stop thinking about him?

It was crazy.

Scary, really.

What she had felt there...

The way he had made her feel there under the shadows of those nightly woods...

Like she had never felt before...

Weak.

Fragile.

Volnurable.

But also strong...

Special?

Desired?

Loved?!

No...

She shouldn´t feel this way.

It was wrong.

It was inappropriate.

It was just completely fucking crazy.

She couldn´t allow herself to feel like this.

Ever.

Not with Caius Ballad in the first place...

He was supposed to be her enemy.

Her mortal enemy.

Her nemesis.

He had cut her throat for Pulse´s sake!

It was sick.

Twisted.

And what was even worse was the fact that she had never felt something for any guy before...

And now?

Now she had to fall for him?

Him of all people?

It was rediculous.

Ridiculous and unfair.

So fucking unfair.

Unfair and just. Plain. Wrong.

* * *

 _In the end we only regret the chances we didn´t take._

 _-_ Lewis Carroll

* * *

„Does it hurt?"

It was a stupid question, she knew, but she had no idea what else to say, no other words would come to her mind.

She had summoned all her remaining courage and approached him when she had spotted him making down the stairs in front of the community building the morning of the next day.

It was the dawn of yet another cloudy autumn day, with a cool wind blowing in her pinkish strands and the occasional raindrop hitting her cheek.

The third day after he had tried to kiss her.

Three days without them talking.

Three days spent in the Archylte Steppe all by herself.

Three days without Caius...

For Lightning they had been hell.

Had felt like torture.

With guilt eating away at her and the prospect of leaving towards a hazy future, the burden of protecting the timeline weighting heavyly on her shoulders, Etro´s fallen champion wasn´t sure how to cope with this.

All of this.

This whole crazy situation.

This mess she had gotten herself into.

She felt lonely and lost and sad.

And no matter how hard she wanted to deny it, she missed him.

Terrbily so.

Missed his company, his attention, his quiet affection...

Him.

Caius...

She needed him.

The thought of the two of them parting ways like this...

Witout a chance of making up.

Without even talking one more time.

Without an opportunity to say goodbye.

She didn´t like it.

Not at all.

Couldn´t bear it, in fact.

Not even the thought of it.

But no matter how hard she tried, the man she had come to accept as her companion, he didn´t seem to be eager to forgive her anytime soon.

„Uhm...Yes?!" the purple haired hunter retored staring at her somewhat incredulously, his eyebrows riding up in a gesture of obvious disbelieve.

Was she serious?!

Of course it hurt.

What was she thinking?

This wasn´t exactly a scrape he had received there...

The slightly offended male intending to walk straight past her, Etro´s fallen champion made him stop dead in his tracks by reaching out to gently touch his arm.

„Caius... I´m sorry..." she tried again.

Her voice was soft, tiny.

Those words her future self would never have believed she´d ever say to him, voluntarily, not in a million years, they suddenly came bubbling out of her mouth like blood oozing from a freshly cut wound.

The guardian to be, he didn´t find it in his heart to even look at her.

„Caius?"

It seemed to cost him some effort, but finally, albeit only reluctantly, he turned his face towards her, before giving a small defeated sigh, he slowly made to look at her.

His eyes, accusingly piercing her´s for a few long seconds, they warily drifted down to the spot where her hand still lingered on his forearm, then up into her eyes again, where he gave her the most reproachful look she´d ever seen from him, from anybody.

She pulled away instantly.

Almost as if burnt.

Because it hurt.

The way he glared at her, daring her to touch him ever again...

It hurt...

She had taken a step too far back there.

She was aware.

She knew.

And this...

This was beyond the gunshot wound.

This was beyond their crazy fight and the bullet and the blood.

She had hurt his feelings.

And there was no way to repair the damage she had done.

No way.

She had lost him.

She had lost him there under the silver sheen of Cocoon three days ago.

And there was no way to make things undone.

And the realisation of this all, it stung.

Stung badly.

Because somehow, suddenly all she longed for was for them to talk again, for them to make up again.

For him to be her companion again.

For him to tease her again and make fun of her bad deerstalking skills and tug flowers into her hair and watch the stars with her again and for him to let her use his arm as a pillow so she could wake up with her head on it right next to him.

And for a tiny crazy second there, she even wished she´d kissed him back.

Just for the sake of their crazy twisted friendship.

But no...

Of course.

She couldn´t do that.

She had to be insane to even consider this.

Allowing Caius Ballad to kiss her...

Now, that was something guarateed to change the timeline, wasn´t it?

The man she had come to appologize to, turning away from her again to descend the stairs and take down the main road, he didn´t even glance back at her.

Not even once.

„Caius, please!" the pink haired warrior caught herself calling after him as she watched his reatreating back.

She couldn´t just let it end like this.

She couldn´t just leave like this.

She knew there was just no way they would ever make up again, knew they would end up deadly enemies eventually, but still...

She at least needed to try, right?

Rushing down the stairs to hurry after him, catching up with him in no time, panting slightly she skidded to a halt in front of him.

„What do I have to do so you´ll stop ignoring me?!" she asked somewhat pleadingly, her blue eyes huge and her eyebrows knit together in frustration.

„What do I have to do for you to forgive me?"

„What do I have to do to make this up to you?"

Looking at the guardian standing there in front of her, Lightning had a hard time resisting the urge to just reach out and touch him again.

She already knew it would do no good.

Caius Ballad´s forehead wrinkled in confusion, he looked up into those pleading pale blue eyes with surprise, with bewilderment, before carefully contemplating what to say he opened his mouth to answer her.

„Nothing..." he replied completely unexpected.

„I forgive you."

His voice was smooth, steady, controlled, and his dark armethyst eyes boring into her´s sincere.

Their eyecontact, intense, allowing them to say so much more than any amount of words ever could, it only lasted a few seconds though, as after only a few moments, the purple haired guardian tore himself away to turn around and take down the main road again, leaving the completely stunned warrior behind without another word.

* * *

 _An invisible threat connects those who are destined to meet,_

 _regardless of time,_

 _and place_

 _and circumstances._

 _The tread may stretch or tangle,_

 _but it will never break._

\- Ancient Chinese Proverb

* * *

Etro´s fallen champion left early for Paddra.

The first sunrays of the next day still veiled by the covers of the autumn night, she relied on the pale sheen of Cocoon as her sole companion to guide her to the other side of the hunter´s village´s walls and out into the fields, south, to where she could see the dark outlines of the Yaschas Massif looming in the distance.

Sneaking outside the wooden gates completely undetected, the pink haired warrior hadn´t even bothered to say good bye.

Not to Caius.

Not to Cara.

Not to anybody.

She wasn´t welcome there anymore anyway, and this way she knew it would be easiest.

Easiest to handle.

To just leave without further ado.

A clean break.

With Caius.

With Cara.

With the past.

With everything.

She was done.

It was over.

All of it.

No regrets anymore.

No looking back.

Before her there lay only future.

Paddra...

Yeul...

They would have to wait a little longer though it seemed as setting her bag down on the ground she let her body sink into the soft high grass of the Archylte Steppe to quickly catch her breath.

She had been walking for hours, had been on her feet all day, had managed to cover a fair amount of distance in her opinion. The intimidating mountaintops of the Yaschas Massif significantly nearer now, Lightning guessed she´d be able to reach them sometime the next day´s afternoon.

But she had done enough for now.

Her feet aching like hell and dusk approaching fast, she knew she needed to find a place to spend the night, knew she needed to rest.

It took her less than half an hour to find a suitable spot.

Sheltered by some larger rocks and flanked by the abundant thicket of some nearby bushes, Lightning spread her Behemoth skin on the dry hard ground that lay beneath the tall green grass growing on those endless plains.

Collecting some of the half withered branches, aimlessly piling them on a heap in front of her, stuffing a few dried up leaves into the tiny gaps, impatiently trying to create a spark by rubbing the blade of her slightly curved hunter´s knife against the piece of flint she had stolen from the hunter´s village armoury just a day ago, the result of her first attempt at building a fire all by herself, it wasn´t exactly something to be proud of.

She had of course seen Caius do it.

Had watched him use that same technique a countless times.

But now that finally she was on her own, she realised that doing it herself, it wasn´t exactly as easy as it actually looked.

Like most of Caius Ballad´s skills, it seemed this one too would come with ages of training.

Well... It didn´t matter now.

Once she managed to return to the future, she would just rely on matches and cigarette lighters to start her fires.

If she ever even needed to create one in the first place that was.

There... No need to perfect yet another of those primitive hunter skills...

Soon.

She´d be home soon.

She just had to hang in there a little longer...

Wrapping the Behemoth skin around her body tightly, with her eyes shut close, it was the image of the guardian that haunted her again, his stupid lopsided grin the last thing she thought of before finally she fell asleep.

* * *

 _We are all on a journey, aren´t we?_

 _Why do we have to fight each other?_

 _Why do we have to make this so hard on one another?_

 _Maybe we could share part of the journey..._

 _Maybe we could walk it hand in hand._

* * *

The nights in the Yachas Massif were cold. Intimidating. Eerie.

Not like Lightning remembered them from her last visit.

Fall it seemed had turned the warm sunny clearings of the Vallis Media into cool draughty ravines and the automn wind rustling the leaves of the now multicoloured trees with the creepy sound of cracking twigs, it made her wake up from her restless sleep with a start every other minute.

It was the fifth night on her journey to Paddra.

Five days after she had left the hunter´s village of the Archylte Steppe.

And although she had been planning to arrive at the city of the Farseers within four days, she found that walking Pulse alone, it took her so much more than she had anticipated.

Without the help of a Chocobo the way suddenly seemed so much longer, the slopes suddenly so much steeper and without having Caius Ballad by her side she suddenly felt so much more volnurable, almost helpless even.

Without him, finding a way throught the high grass of the Archylte Steppe and sidestepping all those dangerous beasts was so much harder, fighting a path through the twisted valleys of the Yaschas Massif, it suddenly was so much more demanding.

And it hadn´t been until finally, after hours of stumbling over sticks and stones and holes in the ground, passing the same strangely shaped rock for the third time in two days, that she couldn´t help but admit to herself that she had successfully managed to get herself lost in that maze of tracheous canyons.

Where had she taken a wrong turn again?

She didn´t know.

Maybe she wasn´t as familiar with the uninhabitated lands of Gran Pulse as she had pictured herself to be after all.

The cold wind making her skin errupt in goosebumps, resisting the urge to just lie down onto her side to curl up into a tiny ball and die, the poor lost timetraveller hugged her knees to her body tightly to try and keep in the little warmth she had left inside her slender frame.

Venturing into the wilderness completely alone, so far away from the safe haven of the hunter´s village, completely on her own, she suddenly realised she wasn´t exactly as good prepared as she had hoped for.

Yes, Lightning couldn´t wait to reach Paddra.

Couldn´t wait to finally leave those no man´s lands of Pulse behind.

Once and forever.

But for now she needed to rest again.

Needed to take a break.

Needed to try and catch up on her lack of sleep.

She would reach the city of the Farseeers in two days the earliest.

If Etro allowed.

If she didn´t somehow happen to take the wrong path once again...

Shivering in the cool autumn breeze, pulling her Behemoth skin tighter around her body, the pink haired warrior shuffled closer to the meager fire she had managed to create.

It was small, the twigs barely catching fire, it was hardly enough to even keep her hands warm.

Oh, how had she gotten herself into this again?

How had she gotten herself stranded here in the unforgiving wilderness of that foreign world, completely on her own?

What had she done to deserve this?

Was this her punishment for failing to protect the future?

Maybe she had been a fool to believe that she could make it all the way to Paddra completely on her own.

Maybe she deserved this...

Maybe she wouldn´t even make it out of the Yaschas Massif here alive...

Those depressing thoughts making her shiver even harder, her sad blue eyes travelled back up to the form of Cocoon, looming there above her like a low hanging moon.

Home...

Would it even be the same place once she managed to return?

How much would have changed already?

How much had she changed the timeline?

She could only guess.

What if in the future she created, there wasn´t any home to return to anymore?

What if there was no Serah, no Snow, no Hope and Sazh, and Maqui and Lebreau and Gadot to retun to?

What if there wasn´t any future worth saving anymore?

Would there even be anything left to fight for?

So many questions, chasing themselves inside her head...

She didn´t have time to dwell on any of them.

A rustle of some dried up leaves, the snapping of some nearby twigs, indicating the presence of what most likely was some kind of bloodthirsty predator waiting to rip the unsuspecting female into tiny bite-sized pieces, the pink haired warrior, nearly shitting her pants, up on her feet in only a fraction of a second, she had her gun out, decocked and aiming at the bushes in front of her in seemingly no time at all.

 _Only one bullet left inside..._

Oh, she was so done for.

Whatever lay in wait for her...

If it was anything bigger than an opposum, she doubted she would be able to bring it down with just one round...

„Going to shoot me again?" the low husky voice of a certain purple haired hunter suddenly carried over from behind a veil of withered multicoloured leaves.

It was him!

Of course it was him...

„Caius?" she asked, completely stunned with surprise. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, there was disbelieve written all over her normally guarded features as the fallen warrior squinted her eyes to look at him, almost as if judging whether he was actually real or rather an illusion, provided by that overimaginative mind of her´s.

The purple haired guardian, he only presented her with that familiar incredulous stare of his.

The one that seemed to ask whether she had actually lost her mind.

The one she knew so well by now.

„Whome were you expecting?" he contered mockingly, the ghost of one of his stupid grins tugging at the righthand corner of his lips.

It made the pink haired female lower her weapon immediately.

Decocking it, but not putting it away.

„What are you doing here?" she inquired somewhat sceptically. Unable to keep from gaping, her frosty blue eyes still huge with surprise she had a hard time believing that he was really there.

Really there with her.

Of course she hadn´t expected any company.

Let alone him.

„Can´t let you walk all the way on your own, can I?" the dark clad hunter offered as an explanation as hesitantly he allowed his lips to spread into an insecure but all the more adoreable smile.

He was really smiling at her!

She couldn´t believe it...

Her heart giving a tiny crazy flutter, that weird feeling of completely irrational bliss, of happyness from the morning she had woken up next to him in the Archylte Steppe stirring again inside of her, she smothered it with a single denying shake of her head.

„I can go on my own." she retorted rudely, slipping back into the shoes of her usual role immediately.

Well...

They were back to bantering it seemed.

Still, it was to be considered a progress nonetheless.

„I know." he surprisingly agreed, for once acknowledging the fact that the pink haired warrior was indeed able to survive on her own.

She had made it this far, right?

Surely she could make it anywhere.

The pink haired warrior opening her mouth to say something, automatially readying herself to protest maybe, amazed at the guardian´s unexpected approval, it took her some seconds to get herself together before turning her attention back to the campfire, she hesitantly made to sit down in front of it.

The purple haired guardian placing himself a safe distance away from her, rummaging inside his leather pouch to produce two freshly plucked plump fruits he seemed to have collected on his way, he wordlessly handed one of them to the pink haired female next to him.

Suddenly embarrassed by her pathetic excuse for a fire, Etro´s fallen champion didn´t even find the spirit to look into his eyes.

„Thank you." She just said, accepting the dessert with a polite nod, she pensively turned the treat over in her hands to look at it from every angle.

It was awkward.

Very awkward.

With none of them capable of coming up with something to say, the pink haired warrior´s eyes trained at her feet and the guardian´s armethyst ones staring into the tiny flames of the puny fire, the crushing silence of the Yaschas Massif sourrounding them, it did nothing to cheer up their moods.

Etro´s fallen champion studying her companion´s impassive feature´s from the corner of her eyes, turning her head to finally look at him, she felt her eyes darting to the spot above his heart where she knew there was the gunshot wound, still lurking under that thin dark cotton layer of his shirt.

The awkward way he moved around, telling her that still, it hurt, had to hurt terribly in fact, she couldn´t help but feel regret there stirring in the bottom of her stomach once again.

Hearing the purple haired hunter give a tiny sigh, she felt the almost irrepressible urge to appologize again, but then, finally, decided against it.

No.

It would be stupid to appologize again.

He had already forgiven her.

Or at least that was what he had told her.

And it was true, wasn´t it?

He was here with her again, after all.

Talking to her again.

Sitting next to her again.

Travelling with her again.

And somehow, even if it was so very awkward, still she felt happy, so incredibly happy and relieved, that he was back with her again.

That they were back on speaking terms again.

That he was back to teasing her again.

Back to smiling at her...

The fact that he was there right next to her, that she could in fact touch him if she just found the courage to reach out with her hand, causing a warm cozy feeling to spread inside of her body, the pink haired warrior suddenly realised she didn´t have to rely on the fire to keep her warm anymore.

Just knowing that he was there in her presence, it was suddenly enough it seemed.

„I was afraid I might not get the chance to see you again..." the purple haired man next to her said after quite some time spent sitting there in silence.

Etro´s fallen champion finally looking up at him, she found those dark charismatic eyes were glued to her´s.

„Don´t be stupid... You think I´d leave forever without even saying goodbye?" she asked, making her voice sound shocked, upset even.

„Well, you did..." the guardian contered knowingly, his words making her flinch.

They stung.

She hastily looked away.

The way he had said this, he didn´t exactly let it sound like an accusation. More like stating a fact.

But still.

It stung.

And he was right again.

Of course she had had no intention to return to say good bye.

She hadn´t been planning on seeing him again.

Well not in this time at least...

But now that he was here she realised she was happy she had gotten the chance to see him once more.

Those three days of them not talking, they had been torture.

How would she have felt for the rest of her life had she really left him just like that...

„I...I´m sorry... I… I just hate saying goodbye..." she tried to explain.

„Noted..." Caius said, the serious tone in his voice making her look up again.

„No Goodbyes."

„I´m sorry... They just make me queasy... And nostalgic... And sad." the pink haired warrior added pensively.

„It´s okay. I understand." the guardian assured.

She doubted it.

Carefully averting her gaze again, she made to study her hands instead.

There was the crackling of the small sorry fire and the bubbling sound of water flowing in some nearby river.

And now that she wasn´t alone anymore, suddenly the high walls of the Vallis Media didn´t seem so intimidating anymore, the cool autumn breeze not so cold anymore and the nightly Yaschas Massif not so dangerous anymore.

Now that she had Caius Ballad with her, she suddenly felt safe.

Safe in the presence of her once worst enemy.

It felt strange to say the least...

„Did you get the chance to say good bye to your friends in the future?" the guardian suddenly asked, catching the unsuspecting warrior off guard again.

„No..." she stammered, completely perplexed, as for a few moments there she didn´t know what to make of this exactly.

Of course she hadn´t been able to say goodbye before she had been swept away to Valhalla.

Would she have wanted to, if she had had the chance?

„But I´m going to see them again soon. So..." she added, making her voice trail off.

Or was she?

„I´m sure you will." Caius assured, their gazes locking.

Dark amethyst eyes drowning in pale chilly blue ones.

The way he looked at her making her feel uneasy, she hesitantly chose to look away again.

That dark intense gaze of his still gave her goosebumps whenever he dared to turn those brilliant amethyst eyes on her.

„Caius..."

„Hm?"

„Thank you." she said, carefully looking up to meet his gaze again.

The dark clad hunter next to her, he just gave her one of his incredulous snorts.

„What for?!" he asked, raising one of his eyebrows at her crazily.

„Everything."

The guardian to be unable to shake off the feeling that she was talking about so much more than he could possibly understand, he just presented her with a quizzical look.

„You´ll understand someday..." his companion promised.

„I seriously doubt that." Caius Ballad commented dryly.

Whatever the pink haired timetraveller was talking about, there was just no way he would ever have the chance of finding out what was really going on in her head.

He´d given up on trying quite some time ago now.

There was no way she was going to fill him in anyway.

And he understood of course.

With the timeline at stake and everything...

„I know you will." the pretty female insisted, giving the man beside her a sad sincere smile.

„You´re probably the only one who ever will."

The dark clad hunter next to her, completely oblivious to everything the pink haired warrior knew was going to happen, he just shook his head in ignorance.

Of course he couldn´t fathom.

Caius Ballad.

Destined to live until the end of days.

What have you ever done to deserve this?

* * *

 _Why did you ask what when the delicious question is when?_

\- R. Lutece (Bioshock Infinite)

* * *

 _ **You can´t repeat the past?**_

 _ **Why of course you can.**_

 _-_ F. Scott Fitzgerald

* * *

„But... there must be a way for me to return home." Lightning exclaimed.

Standing there in the temple of the seeress, the room dark, only very dimly lit by the few rays of sunlight passing through the silky veil at the entrance and a few low burning candle´s in the corners of the opposite walls, she looked down at the child before her in a mixture of horror and disbelieve.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul the girl cursed to see the future, she just stood there in front of her, her features emotionless, stoic.

One of the countless Yeuls with all the memories of their predecessors, born and reborn over and over.

Destined to die. Over and over.

This young woman in front of her, she was but one of these tragedies.

„No. There is none." The seeress said, her eyes fixed on a spot on the opposite wall, unseeing, her voice sounding slightly muffled. Clearly her attention was elsewhere.

Somewhere centuries into the future maybe.

„You will stay here. For as long as you live."

„What?! But... That´s impossible..." the pink haired warrior started again, brabbling, the palms of her hands sweaty and slightly trembling, she forced them to stay still.

No!

This couldn´t be.

Surely, Yeul had to have it wrong.

Surely she had to be mistaken!

„That will change the timeline! Everything I do... I will... I need to save Serah." Lightning stammered, the remainder of her determination flying out of the window the second the girl in front of her looked back at her, her bright green eyes suddenly snapping into focus, intenly piercing her own.

„When you were there, back in the future... Did you ever encounter yourself from here? You know... Your older self?" the girl asked out of nowhere.

Taking a few tiny steps towards her visitor, Yeul came to a halt only a few feet away. Her hands neatly folded in front of her body, she just stood there, her knowing green eyes studying the pink haired warrior´s features carefully.

With her white/purple pleated skirt and her long blue hair, she looked exactly like the image in the void beyond.

„N...No.." Lightning had to admit.

She didn´t like the direction this conversation was taking.

Didn´t like the way the young girl looked at her.

Knowing, mocking almost.

Yeul...

What was she playing at?

What part was she playing in this game?

„But that´s because I wasn´t there ye-"

„Yes... Exactly... That´s because you weren´t there." the seeress interrupted, her expression changing not one bit.

„You won´t be there."

„But - "

„You feel guilty, Lightning. I can understand." the young girl cut her off again.

„You were unable to leave the unseen realm and so you turned to her for aid. But your guilt, it won´t bring her back to you... Nothing can."

 _Serah..._

She was talking about Serah.

Of course.

„You seek to set things right, to save the future, to protect it. But what you do not want to understand is... The timeline you remember... It can´t be changed." Yeul revealed.

„The future that you witnessed... It was merely the result of the timeline that you have created, that you are infact creating right now in this very moment. Whatever you are doing now. From your perspective in the future, it has already happened..."

The seeress slightly tilting her head, she gave Etro´s fallen champion a reassuring smile.

„It´s a closed circle, can´t you see." she explained.

„Whatever you will do here, it all will eventually lead to what will happen in the future, what has already happened there in your own past."

„No that´s not true." the pink haired warrior protested, her words barely a whisper as she felt the world, the walls around her, slowly closing in on her.

„It can´t be true..."

„It is... You can´t save Serah, Lightning. Can´t you see that?" Yeul insisted.

„The timeline you saw, the future you experienced... It was the timeline as it will be."

„No. That´s not true. There were paradoxes... Multiple ones. Paradoxes that needed to be resolved..." the persistent female contered.

„Serah died from seing a vision BECAUSE the future had changed! Right after she and Noel had managed to defeat Caius, right after all the paradoxes had been resolved, another had emerged. This final paradox, whatever it is, it needs to be destroyed!"

The seeress, she just stared at her, her expression blank, completely untouched by the warrior´s speech.

„That´s what I was sent back to do! I need to return to the future to solve this! To restore the timeline as it should have been..." Lightning uttered almost pleadingly.

„Then everything... The Chaos... Serah... Everything will be set right!"

But the blue haired girl in front of her, she only shook her head.

„You don´t understand." she said, a small weak smile spreading across her lips.

„The paradox created at the end, the events that led to all of this... The thing you think had changed... It was you dying. Dying and travelling through time to come back here. That was what sealed Serah´s fate. "

„What?! But..." was all the pink haired warrior managed to choke out.

„You do remember your vision from Valhalla. The one where you were going to be reunited with your friends. The one in which you managed to defeat Caius Ballad and saved the world, right?"

Etro´s fallen champion only gave a tiny nod.

„It never came true. Because you failed. You failed to complete your task. You failed in defeating Caius Ballad. And therefore the timeline changed."

So that was it?

By not defeating Caius she had created a paradox, had changed the timeline, had erased that happy future she had seen there in Valhalla´s skies all that time, had altered the future as it should have been, had altered it irreversibly and had condemned Serah to die?!

Could that really be?

Her death there, it had changed the timeline...

That much was obvious, wasn´t it?

How was she supposed to be there on Sazh airship deck if she was dead...

What didn´t make sense though was what the seeress had said right before.

That she had caused that dreary future where Serah was going to die and the Chaos was released the moment she had failed to defeat her nemesis, that she had sealed her fate the second she had landed here in the Archylte Steppe.

That everything she did here would bring about the events she knew had already happened in her past...

How was this even possible?

Everything she did here...

Every step, every breath she took...

Every word she said...

Surely they had the potential to change the timeline.

They had to at least have some kind of impact on it, right?

There had to be millions of ways her presence here in the past affected the timeline!

Her presence here...

All that time...

No...

It was simply impossible that her actions here did not affect the future!

Surely she had changed a thousand things by now...

Surely something had to be different!

This didn´t make any sense.

No sense at all.

Something here was wrong!

So very wrong...

How could everything she was doing here lead to what had already happened, what would happen in the future?

There simply was no way her actions here in the past could bring about the events she had witnessed in the future!

She hadn´t even been here to cause them in the first place!

Or had she?

HAD SHE?!

„Time is a creation of men, Lightning." the seeress suddenly spoke up again.

Her voice was clear and steady. Resolute, despite what she was about to say, as she opened her mouth to talk again, crushing every last ounce of hope Etro´s fallen champion had left inside her lonely heart.

Made it crush and crumble and dissolve into nothingness.

Until finally she only stood there, her eyes only gaping in horror as she listened, listened to the seeress´ cruel words.

Knowing that every single one of them was true.

Was true indeed.

„Men created time as a means of orientation. Time and Space... They aren´t conditions of existence... They are merely a model of thinking. They are the framework within which the feeble human mind is constrained to construct it´s experience of reality." the girl explained.

„The present, the future and the past. They are nothing but an infinite number of conditions coexisting along each other, just like a billion seperate pictures creating a movie, each of them differing only slightly, arranged into a closed circle. Melting into each other. Becoming one."

The tiny female taking another step towards the woman she knew as the warrior of the Goddess Etro, her probing green eyes flashing knowingly, the usually tough soldier had a hard time standing her ground.

„Yes, Lightning. The timeline runs in circles. A world without beginning, a world without an end... A world closed upon itself. Until all possibilities have been tested it will remain locked in this arc for all eternity. Moments in history endlessly repeating themselves. You already experienced it... Right there in Valhalla."

Etro´s fallen champion staring down at the blue haired girl with horror, with disbelive written all over her face, Yeul merely presented the warrior in front of her with one of her kind smiles.

She knew it was hard to grasp.

The fact that she couldn´t change anything.

Never could...

That fact that the decision of what would happen in her future wasn´t her´s to make, that it was in fact already set in stone.

That actually she was barely more than a slave, doomed to serve under the tyranny of destiny.

But that was just the way it was.

They all were...

And there was no way out of it.

None that she could see.

The same tale acted out in the same place at the same time for eons beyond counting...

Would it ever come to an end?

Would it ever truly stop?

Maybe it would...

Maybe there was a chance...

If only...

But no...

Such knowledge would never be the province of mankind. Not even the Goddess atop her throne in the timeless realms of Valhalla could see the span of history in it´s entirety.

But _she_ could...

Couldn´t she?

All the Yeul´s could.

Having lived through all those centuries, all those epochs, at those eras, they had seen them all.

Had seen the hidden trails of fate, had glimpsed the cruel paths of destiny.

They were the ones who witnessed it.

All of it.

Dying over and over.

Just to be born again.

Over and Over.

She had been there everytime it ended.

Had been there every single time that it began anew.

The cycle.

In it´s whole entirety.

The only one who could remember, the only one who truly knew, Paddra Nsu-Yeul could only watch.

Watch as history unfolded.

Wait for the inevitable to occur.

And each time she was born again, she looked forward to that crucial moment a thousand years into the future, when the battle to decide the fate of the world would begin anew.

Just to see history evolve again and again.

The same story.

Reenacted again and again.

An endless cycle repeating itself over and over...

Making everyone reincarnate in the bigger picture.

It was crazy really...

Lives, lived, will live.

Dies, died, will die.

Conditions bound to a certain amount of time...

Suddenly so utterly meaningless...

What purpose would those have?

What would we see?

What revelations would we gather?

How would we perceive our own existance, the existance of others?

What menaing would our lives be left with?

If we could just perceive time as it really was?!

„A sum of moments – conditions – states - each of them slightly different, but coexiting side by side. Causal relationships mistaken by the human brain as temporal connections, that is what time really is." the seeress spoke up again.

„Change´s the constant. Entropy. A gradual decline into disorder... That is what´s the driving force behind all things. A strive towards a maximum of disarray, that´s what nature´s tending towards to."

„The Chaos..." Lightning whispered in realisation as she felt the blood drained from her rosy cheeks, felt ther heartbeat stop and her limbs go numb.

„Yes. " Yeul verified her worst assumptions. „The Chaos."

„The chaos has the power to warp the timeline and destroy the past, just to repeat it again to let fate take it´s course anew." the girl disclosed.

„Everytime the circle continues the Chaos inside expands, grows stronger. It consumes us, creating a vortex that some day will suck in everything, making the timeline collapse and condense into a single dark mass..."

„Forever."

It was true of course.

The Chaos.

Lightning had seen it.

Had seen it in her final moments just before Caius Ballad cut her throat.

Had seen it in the enchanted skies of Valhalla.

The temple of the Goddess...

It had become a shrine to Chaos.

That inexorable power, leaking into the world of the living and destroying it, devouring every little piece of it...

Did Caius Ballad know of this?

Was that the reason he wanted to tear down time and space? To stop it from revolving ?

Was that what her nemesis wanted to destroy?

An eternal paradox causing history to repeat itself over and over?

Was Caius Ballad trying to destroy the eternal paradox?!

Or was he just a madman...

Using the cruel fate of a tiny girl as an excuse to justify his ego trip?

Maybe she would never know...

„Sure... The Chaos. The Chaos is the key... The Chaos it grew stronger! I saw it right before my eyes... The Chaos, it needs to be destroyed! It needs to be banned! I need to find a way! I can do it... I have to!" Lightning started, a spark of hope flaring up in those wary pale blue eyes.

The blue haired seeres, she extinged it with just another motion of her tiny head.

„You underestimate the role of chaos." the child just countered wisely.

„Yes, the Chaos will drown this world. But it is also the key to our being. When we are born, we are born of it and when we die, we return to it. When a man dies, his soul melts into the Chaos. But the idea of it - of him - survives intact. Until finally, one day, he is reborn anew and allowed to once again return to the world of the living."

The small thin girl reaching out to gently take the pink haired woman´s hand, she gave it a reassuring squeeze before, looking up into her fearful devastated eyes, she made to speak again.

„It´s been this way forever and it will be this way forever."

„It happened to yourself. Not such a long time ago. Don´t you agree?"

Etro´s fallen champion, rendered completely speechless, she just stood there rooted to the spot, unable to do anything, unable to respond.

Of course Yeul was right.

Was right again.

She remembered it.

All of it.

The way the black flames of Chaos had been licking at her, had been devouring her, back then in the void beyond.

The way she had been floating there in complete darkness, into nothingness.

And the way she had suddenly woken up in the Archylte Steppe.

A thousand years back in the past.

Right where she was standing now.

„The Chaos is within all of us. It is what created us and one day the Chaos draws us back to it. It is the reason of our deaths and the pinnacle of our existance, a threat woven throughout all our lives." the girl destined the spritual leader of the Farseers explained further.

„It is our spirit. An unseen power residing within all of us. The blessing granted by the goddess Etro that we carry in our hearts."

Taking in the pink haired warrior´s bewildered stare, Paddra Nsu-Yeul couldn´t help but emit a tiny girlish giggle.

„Yes. It is." The girl insisted. „People´s hearts are pure Chaos. Formless and everchanging. A paradox noone can solve..."

Lightning´s hands trembling like a madman´s, unable to keep them still anymore, trying her best to keep herself together, she was having a hard time at the almost impossible task of wrapping her mind around all of this.

Could this really be true?

Could they all be part of the unseen Chaos that one day would tear the world apart?

That invisible power, unleashed by a single man, all because he wanted to stop time and space for a single girl he loved?!

Caius Ballad...

If only she could have stopped him earlier.

But she didn´t...

She didn´t, and she couldn´t...

She just couldn´t bear it.

„Noone can truly control the Chaos." the serress´smoky voice made her snap out of her musings.

„It has a power of it´s own... A mind of it´s own."

„It´s potential is limitless. An immense and inexorable force, a creeping doom acting without unified purpose or will... Where the Chaos of Valhalla leaks into the mortal realm, the laws of the physical world are undone. This paradoxic energy, it seeks to return all existence to the unseen realm, but at times it seems to show almost an affection for those who share affinity with Chaos..."

Looking down at the back of Lightning´s hand, the young girl made a tiny pause, before finally looking up into her eyes again, her lips parted to speak again.

„Just like you."

The pink haired warrior giving a tiny gasp, her blue eyes huge and her mouth gaping in shock, she knit her brows together in confusion, as desperately trying to make sense of what the seeress told her, she clung onto her every word.

„When you came in contact with the unseen Chaos, you touched a darkness that should never have existed in the human world. Etro dammed the unseen Chaos in her temple. But when you died there in Valhalla, there was noone left to stop the catastrophe that would ensue." the seeress continued nonchalantly, as if she were recounting nothing but some dull insignificant fact.

„Listen Lightning. Each human being has it´s own heart. When Etro gave upon mankind this gift, a cylce was established." she continued, her voice suddenly serious again.

„The souls of the deceased, they enter Valhalla to sink into the sea of Chaos. The heart dies while the soul from inside the heart is sent back eventually just to be reborn in a new form with a new heart. A piece of Chaos was to be placed within each newborn life, keeping the level of Chaos constant."

„Reincarnation keeps the Chaos in the mortal world, each rebirth splintering the soul and adding to the Chaos festering between the realms..."

„You see now why you can´t defeat the Chaos, Lightning? You are part of it. And your soul... It is splintered as well."

„The Chaos it is every - present. Ubiquituous."

„But I don´t understand!" The pink haired warrior cried.

How was she supposed to just accept this?

How was she supposed to understand?

„How did all of this come to happen!? How did this come about?! The Chaos. That paradox. This should have never happened. I saw it. The future. How it was supposed to be... Everything was supposed to be alright! Why did all of this happen Yeul?!" the ex soldier roared.

She didn´t care whether she was shouting at a 10 year old.

She didn´t care whether it was rude, or impolite, or whatever...

All she cared about was finding a way.

A way out of this mess.

A way to just wake up from this neverending nightmare she had somehow gotten herself imprisoned in.

To just find the exit.

And be gone.

There needed to be some way out of this, right?

There just needed to.

„You. Me. Everyone. We all lived countless different lives. With every repetition of the cycle. All of us. Born over and over. Each time with a new soul..." the child tried to explain.

„Some of us die early. Some of us die later. But one day we all return to this world, can´t you see?"

Yes, she could see.

Suddenly she could...

And there was more.

Yeul.

Never even reaching the age of twenty.

Condemned to die, every time, before she even had a chance to truly live.

A countless Yeul´s roaming the endless plains of history.

A countless times that soul´d been splintered...

Was Yeul the one who started this?

Was she the one who had created the Chaos in the first place?

Could it be?

Yes...

Sure...

It could.

„The timeline runs in circles. Revolving around the eternal paradox." the girl continued, ignorant to the path the timetraveller´s thoughts were taking to.

„This paradox is ancient. It stretches over hundreds of years, thousand even, and was created when Caius Ballad first received the Heart of Chaos." she just stated matter of factly.

„What... You mean to tell me that this paradox was created back then... All those years ago?! But then I... What... How is this even possible?" Lightning choked out, unable to get what this implied, unable to understand what all this in fact meant for her.

„To you a thousand years might seem a long time but for the universe, it might as well be just a moment. A tiny second. Laughable looking at it from a bigger picture." the seeress answered, a tiny girlish giggle following that last comment.

„A mortal being such as you could never possibly understand..."

Lightning didn´t see what was so funny, but with one thing Yeul was right.

Yeah...

She´d probably never be able to understand.

Any of this.

„I bestowed him with the power of Chaos all for that wish..." the child added sheepishly.

„Huh? Who?!" The pink haired warrior´s forehead creased in wrinkles, she had a hard time holding on to this.

„Caius..." The seeress said.

„To have somebody understand me. To have somebody to be there for me. Be there for me forever." Yeul admitted.

„To be there to stay with me when noone else could..."

„Wait... So this all began because you couldn´t let got of Caius?" Lightning asked incredulously, her mouth gaping stupidly as she tried to process the information she had just received, to make sense of those words so casually thrown at her.

„The Chaos and all it´s power grew out of your need?!"

„Need? Yes, I needed him. Needed him more than anything. He was everything to me!" Yeul replied, now sounding slightly upset herself.

„The fear of being alone consumed me. Became monstrous. It was the reason why I couldn´t let him go... Just like you..."

„What are you talking about?!" Lightning whispered.

„Don´t you try to fool me. You can´t even fool yourself." the girl in front her suddenly spat at her.

„What -?!" Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t understand what was going on.

This was crazy.

This was insane!

„You need him just as much as I do..." Yeul said, sounding slightly hurt, angry even.

„Bullshit..." Lightning contered almost automatically.

Whether the girl had said this in order to deceive her, or to just make her determination waver...

It didn´t matter, she hit dead ends anyway.

She didn´t need Caius Ballad for anything... Or did she?

Thinking about the last few days she had to spend without him, the pink haired timetraveller suddenly wasn´t so sure anymore...

The blue haired girl just shook her head in irritation.

„Of course you do." she insisted.

„Once the unseen Chaos was freed it could not be stopped. It reached out and dragged you into the other realm. It broke the dam that the Goddess had built. It shattered the boundaries between worlds and it dragged you into it. It is the unseen Chaos. The strands of our minds woven together. We are one and the same. You and I. Can´t you see?" the seeress said, looking up at the woman in front of her with big round eyes, almost as if begging her.

Begging her to understand.

„We are the ones who yearn to be with him. We are the ones who give him life when he cries for death... But we are also the ones who pray that he finds peace at last. We are a contradiction that cannot be resolved..."

"And the Chaos is our love for him."

The tiny girl finally letting go of the completely startled woman´s hand, she continued to stare up into the ex-soldier´s eyes, those fearful pale blue eyes she had gazed into so often, so many times before.

The wheels in the pink haired warrior´s brain, working at full speed, it was when the seeress gave another tiny sigh, that suddenly something inside her head just clicked in place, that all of a sudden realisation downed on her.

„It´s all your fault..." Lightning started, her voice trembling as taking a few startled steps backwards she felt her back bump straight into one of the solid stone pillars supporting the roof of the high walled building.

„You are to blame for all of this!"

„It was you all along!"

And it was with the pent up frustration of the past few months in the Archylte Steppe, of that eternity spent in the timeless realms, that acting completely on impulse, she pulled out that ancient sixshooter again.

Loaded with that one remaining bullet, she aimed it straight at the seeress cursed doomed heart.

But the girl infront of her she didn´t even flinch.

The patient young woman, she only gave a knowing smile instead.

„Go ahead. Kill me." She encouraged.

Her voice steady.

Unwavering.

„My days are counted anyway."

She had died so many times already.

„And so are the days until I´ll be born again."

She was not afraid to die once more.

„You might delay it, but you won´t change anything."

„In the end no matter what you do, no matter what´s the reason, Caius Ballad will kill you and the cycle will start anew... Always."

Taking a step towards the pink haired woman who clearly hadn´t decided whether or not to due her in yet, Yeul slowly extended her hand to reach for the weapon, slowly made the completely perplexed timetraveller point the gun back to the ground.

„I´ve seen it. Countless times." She assured her.

„You try so hard to set things right, but in the end nothing ever changes."

„Every timeline that doesn´t serve the cycle will just collapse into nothingness."

„Whenever you do something that prevents you from ever coming to the past, everything you did here will be made undone, will just cease to exist. A whole universe erased and you wouldn´t even notice. Noone does."

"They never do."

„No... That´s not true." the warrior whispered suddenly completely terryfied.

„It is. The final paradox it cannot be resolved. It is eternal and it is what holds the universe together in the first place. It´s the heart and the axis of all things." the child informed.

„Everthing you do here... It will contribute to create the future you have already witnessed. If it wouldn´t then you wouldn´t be here in the first place. Your existence here is a paradox in itself."

"Your presence here. Your rebirth. Your travel through the times. They mark the transition into a new cycle. The eternal paradox is everywhere. It surrounds us, here in this very moment. And You. Are part of it."

The pink haired warrior´s hands shaking more than ever, with all that information she had been provided with finally starting to sink in, she suddenly had a hard time staying on her feet.

„You see Lightning? You are not here to change it... You are here because you already made it happen." the girl insisted not even batting an eyelid.

Her words, her explanations, her whole damn speech...

To the pink haired warrior standing there, suddenly feeling weak and insignificant in the vastness of the temple, they were overwhelming, were more than she could deal with, more than she could take.

They rendered her unable to think.

Unable to move.

Completely devastated.

And utterly speechless.

„We are both responsible for all of this..." The seeress went on.

Somehow this would never stop, would it?

„I was the one to bestow him with the Heart of Chaos. You were the one who brought him here..."

„Ignorant to your past lives you head towards your fate oblivious of what your actions will ensue, doomed to repeat the mistakes of your pasts again and again... It´s pitiable... Really." Yeul said teasingly, throwing her a mock pitiful glance.

„Pathetic. Almost." She added at an afterthought.

That mocking smile on her face...

Lightning wanted nothing more than to wipe it off with one of her fists...

„You can go now." the small girl suddenly said out of the blue.

„What?" Lightning began.

„You can go now." Yeul repeated indifferently.

„You served your purpose here, Lightning. You brought him here to me... Can´t you see it?"

„No."

„Yes..." the girl insisted. „You are the reason Caius found his way to me... Without you, he might have never come to Paddra in the first place."

„Can you see it now? You cannot change the future!"

"No..."

Denial.

Always so much denial.

Yeul had seen it a thousand times.

The denial in those fierce blue eyes.

That woman...

Always so strong and defying.

Defying fate.

In all the countless lives she´d lived, in every single run of the cylce...

Never had she witnessed a Lightning that didn´t fight to escape her fate.

Never had she met a Lighning that wasn´t defying.

There wasn´t a single one of them that wanted to accept her fate.

„The eternal paradox is everywhere. It surrounds us. It is in us. It is part of us. Of who we are. It is the ground that you walk on, it is the air that you breathe. No matter what you do, you can´t escape it. You lived inside of it for all your life, all those years without even realizing it." the seeress said, slightly cocking her head.

„And everytime you fail to defeat Caius, he will come after you, will kill you. And the cycle, it will start anew."

„Then Caius needs to be stopped!" Lightning cut in as suddenly she managed to find her voice again.

„There must be a way for me to stop him. To defeat him. To... Kill him." Those words suddenly tasting bitter on her tongue, for some strange reason the pink haired warrior had a hard time getting them out at all.

Killing Caius Ballad...

Although she had been ready to do him in just about a week ago, actually almost had, suddenly, now that she thought about it, she wasn´t sure whether she could actually do it anymore.

Whether she had it in her anymore...

But did she really have to?

Did Caius Ballad really have to die?

Or maybe...

Could there be another way?

„If somehow I manage to keep him from becoming your guardian... Then maybe I can change the timeline." Lightning whispered more to herself than anyone else.

I didn´t matter.

The girl heard anyway.

„Maybe I could save Caius..."

Paddra Nsu-Yeul just shook her tiny head.

 _No..._

„The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die. They must bear the burden of the eternal paradox." the seeress answered cryptically.

„But this power isn´t your´s." she added. „It never was and it will never be. You are merely a pawn in this giant chessboard of eternity. There is nothing you can do."

Resisting the urge to yell at the child in front of her, Lightning returned her revolver back to it´s place under her belt with shaky fingers.

That blasted thing, she had still clasped it in her sweaty palm.

Taking her time to neatly readjust her shirt, less for the sake of it than just to have somthing to do, it was almost half a minute later that slowly she made to look up again.

„What am I to do now?" she asked tentatively, her voice sounding nothing like the fearless warrior she used to be.

It rather reminded her of a frightened young child.

Was timid and small instead.

Trembling with the tremor´s of insecurity.

Of fear.

Of despair.

„It doesn´t matter." Yeul informed. „Disappear from the pages of history or remold it as your heart desires."

„The more you change, the faster you will make the world spiral towards Chaos, towards destruction, towards imminnent desaster. You can try and repair the timeline, or warp it beyond recognition, as your conscience allows. In the end it will not matter either way."

The pink haired warrior giving a frustrated sigh, her arms uselessly dangling at her sides, she hung her head defeatedly.

„Time isn´t static. Time is a mouldable material, shapable, pliable. But flexible all the same. No matter how hard you try and change the timeline, to alter history, your path, it will eventually lead you back to where you belong, to where you started, right in the beginning." the girl continued.

„Your adventure will be over. Just like it will start anew."

„It always was like that. And it will always be like that."

The pink haired warrior´s breathing slightly laboured, the weight of all that information so unexpectedly thrown at her more than she could actually bear, she was feeling slightly dizzy, the air was feeling hard to breathe.

„This makes no sense... No sense at all." She uttered there under her breath, shaking her head in disbelieve.

There it was again.

Denial...

So much denial...

„I can´t believe this..."

Yeul only gave an impatient grunt.

And staring at the devastated woman right in front of her, her lips parted to talk once more.

„Tell me Lightning... Have you memories ever changed since you got here?"

Her voice was dead.

Completely devoid of emotion.

And it were exactly those words that gave Etro´s fallen champion the final blow.

Her eyes went huge with shock and an audible gasp escaped her lips as finally realisation hit her.

Because they hadn´t...

Of course they hadn´t...

They hadn´t changed one tiny bit.

She remembered everything.

Every tiny bit.

Her memory was still consistent.

Had been all the time.

Nothing altered.

Nothing missing.

Not even hazy...

Everything was still the same.

Was the way it should be.

But that could only mean one thing...

It meant...

That somehow...

Against all hope...

Against all logic...

Against everything she had believed in...

Paddra Nsu-Yeul was right.

The blue haired seeress, watching the floor swept away beneath the pink haired warrior´s feet, she only nodded in approval, allowed a small triumphant smile to dance across her lips.

„What we call Chaos is just patterns we haven´t recognized." she told her somewhat reassuringly, her merciless gaze fixed on the poor timetraveller´s face as the latter tried her best to keep herself together.

Big blue eyes panickingly darting around the room, searching the walls for a route of escape, for some kind of emergency exit to free her from that wicked curse, to free her from that nightmare.

They came up empty.

The suffocating feeling in her chest, making it almost impossible for her to breathe, her vision suddenly clouded by a thousand pitch black dots, and her ears ringing with the seeress´ ancient voice, the pink haired woman trying hard to keep herself on her feet, she had the palm of her right hand pressed to her ribcage tightly.

The seeress eyes, dulled behind the veil of indifference, she only watched the warrior in front of her needing to grab the tall high pillar for support.

„What we call random is just patterns we can´t decipher. What we cannot understand we call nonsense, what we can´t read we call gibberish..." the girl went on, regardless of the other female´s obvious predicament.

„There is no freewill. There´s no way out. There is only the inevitable."

It was true of course.

The cycle...

Each run a whole new universe.

A million, million worlds.

All different and yet similar.

 _Constants and variables..._

She had been gazing all of them.

Sometimes something was different.

Different, yet the same.

 _Constants and variables..._

„We swim in different oceans, but we all land on the same shore." The girl added almost dreamily.

Etro´s fallen champion, she weakly shook her head.

 _Constants and variables..._

„I still don´t understand." the pink haired woman murmured defeatedly.

She wasn´t sure she could take this any longer.

This whole conversation, this whole speech.

It was slowly beating her brain to pulp.

Made her insides twist painfully inside her body.

Made every last ounce of hope slowly drain from within her broken heart.

„You don´t need to. It will happen all the same." the seeress said indifferently.

„Why?!""

„Because it does. Because it has. Because it will."

„But... There are so many choices, so many possibilities." The ex-soldier contered pleadingly.

Yeul shook her head again, slowly loosing her patience now.

„They´ll all lead you to the same place... Eventually. Where it had all begun."

The pink haired warrior´s world suddenly spinning around her, she couldn´t find it in herself to object again, couldn´t find it in her to accept what she had learned there either.

What was this?!

Some terrible nightmare?!

Was this all some kind of crazy dream?!

It had to be...

 _Please just let this be a dream..._

 _Please just let me wake up already..._

But no, she wasn´t granted the mercy of being released form her torment.

Not yet anyway.

She had to endure it, it seemed.

All of it.

„No one tells me where to go..." the pink haired female whispered weakly into the darkness of the dimly lit room.

Her voice breaking on the last part, there was not an ounce of her once so praised determination left in it.

No resolve.

„You my dear, have already been." Yeul commented dryly.

„There is no such thing as coincidence."

 _Canstants and variables..._

„Whatever you do you can´t escape your fate."

 _Constants and variables..._

„Time is merely an illusion. Fate always finds a way."

 _Constants and variables..._

„You can struggle, scream and fight all you want. But let me asure you, in the end, repeat the past you will."

* * *

 _History is nothing but a cyclic poem written by the hands of time._

\- Percy Bysshe Shelley (altered)

* * *

It was completely shocked at Yeul´s revelations, and utterly paralyzed to say the least, that Etro´s fallen champion hurried ouside, almost running into her purple haired companion faithfully waiting for her somewhere half way down the stairs.

The bright rays of the sunlight blinding her for a tiny moment, although Lightning had entered the seeress´ temple sometime in the morning, now the sun, it already stood high in the sky.

How much time had she spent in there exactly?!

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t really care.

It didn´t really matter anyway.

Nothing mattered anymore...

Brushing past the guardian to be and hastily making down the remainder of the stairs towards the crowded streets of Paddra, Lightning definitely had other things on her mind right now.

She needed time to think.

„Lightning?!" The guardian to be called after her.

Rushing down the stairs to follow her, he caught up with her in no time.

„Light?! Hey wait!"

The pink haired female hurrying to cross the main street obviously ignoring him, unceremoniously grabbing her wrist, Caius Ballad had his companion stop and spin around to face him in a matter of seconds.

„Leave me alone..." the woman spat at him, trying to wriggle free the instant that he caught her.

He didn´t let go immediately.

Something was off...

It really didn´t take a genious to realise that something was bothering her.

A lot.

„Light..." he started, carefully trying to establish eyecontact in an attempt to calm her, the caring male lifted his other arm to comfortingly touch her shoulder.

His attempts where pointless though.

„I said leave me alone!" the pink haired woman yelled as alerting the attention of several unsuspecting bypassers, she violently pushed him away from her.

The guardian to be, stumbling a few feet backwards, startled at his companion´s sudden outburst, he just stood there in the middle of the street, looking after the pink haired woman´s retreating back until swallowed by the crowd, finally she was gone.

What the fuck was going on?

He just couldn´t fathom.

Well, there certainly was one way to find out for sure...

His eyes wandering back up to the entrance of Paddra Nsu-Yeul´s temple, where somewhere behind that veil of light white fabric he knew there lay all the answers, all the answers to every question he could ever pose, the purple haired hunter pondered on what to do.

He could just go inside and find out from the seeress...

Everthing he wanted to know...

What would happen to Lightning.

What would happen to him.

Why they would be fighting in the future.

What would happen in that war.

What had upset her so much...

Or he could simply follow his companion and risk another bullet to his body by asking her herself.

Which thing was the right to do?

Contemplating both his options for another tiny second, Caius Ballad sighed in defeat.

And with another swift glance at the spot where Etro´s fallen champion had vanished in the crowd, he turned on his heels and went straight back up the stairs.

* * *

 _Fate spares noone._

 _Especially not you._

* * *

„Caius Ballad..."

It was the voice of the seeress coming out of the shadows, reaching out for him, that made him look up with a start.

With the room in front of him lying in nearly complete darkness, the small frame of the girl leaning against one of the high stone pillars completely motionless, he hadn´t realised she had been standing there, in wait for him it seemed.

„Finally we have time to speak." the seeress greeted him, pushing herself to her feet and slowly making towards him.

„I´ve been dying to talk to you..."

That voice.

It was haunting.

Sounding as if belonging to a woman much older, ancient actually, that tone of her´s, it was sending tiny shivers down the dark clad hunter´s spine.

The seeress´ eyes fixed on her future guardian at all times, there was the distant glint of longing in those depths of emerald green as she took another small step into his direction, slowly extending her hand to try and reach out for him.

„What did you tell her?" Caius Ballad inquired harshly, taking a few wary steps backwards instantly, his behaviour rude and his demeanour hostile.

It made the young girl´s small heart ache.

The way he talked to her...

The way he glared at her...

Accusingly and full of hate.

What had she done to evoke his wrath?

Hadn´t Caius always been the one to treat her with nothing less than kindness and respect?!

Wasn´t Caius Ballad supposed to care for her?!

To love her till the end of days?!

A little bewildered at her future guardian´s behaviour, Paddra Nsu-Yeul, letting her hand drop back to her side, she just remained there standing, her piercing stare turning slightly glassy as she appeared to look straight through him.

„Paddra Nsu-Yeul... Please." the guardian´s tone of voice changing instantly, sounding suddenly pleading, it made the blue haired seeress snap back to reality at once.

Caius Ballad standing there in front of her, not having a clue on where to go fom here, he had no better plan than hoping for the little girl to help him figure this one out.

Why did he have those visions?

Why did he meet this woman?

Why were they going to fight in the future?

How was their battle going to end?

There where so many questions...

So many question swirling around inside his head.

Which one would he dare to pose?

„Please... I need to know what´s going to happen..." The Guardian to be finally opened his mouth to speak. „I need to know what is going to happen in the future... What did you tell Lightning? Why am I going to fight her?"

The tiny seeress, her impassive features not giving the slightest indication that she had actually heard, the purple haired hunter had a hard time resisting the urge to just grab her by her shoulders and shake her.

„Yeul?!" he tried again, feeling his patience slip away from him as the young girl just continued to stare at him.

„I can´t tell you now." the seeress finally said, her voice suddenly laced with sadness.

„But in due time.. You will understand." she added somewhat reassuringly.

The dark clad man already fed up being put off with that same excuse over and over again, with Lightning silencing him with almost the exact same words whenever he dared ask any questions about the future, he certainly was in no mood to play those games any longer.

Of course he would find out sooner or later.

That much was obvious of course.

But by the time he would, it would already be too late, wouldn´t it?

There wouldn´t be a way to change things leading up to this anymore because by the time he would find out himself, things would have already happened.

What sense was there in seeing the future if one didn´t bother to share one´s knowledge with the people who obviously were affected?!

„No, I need to understand it now!" he growled, taking a threatening step toward the defenseless child in front of him.

Those words of his, they had come out a lot more aggressive than he had intended.

„Caius!" the seeress warned him somewhat pleadingly, making the hot headed male back up instantly, making him hang his head and shyly avert his gaze, suddenly ashamed of his behaviour.

What was he doing here?

Shouting at an innocent ten year old girl...

He was loosing his temper again.

He needed to get himself together.

This wasn´t her fault...

She wasn´t to blame.

She was only a messanger after all.

Right?

„I´m sorry." he appologized, his voice suddenly small, low in volume.

There were a few minutes of silence, before the blue haired seeress taking a few determined steps into his direction, she approached him once again, before coming to stand right in front of him, she extended her arm to carefully take his hand, before cautiously she made to look up into those brilliant amethyst eyes of his again.

„Caius..." she began, her voice trembling in anticipation.

„Will you become my guardian when the time has come?"

Those words, so unexpectedly leaving her pale tiny lips, they left the man standing in front of her completely startled.

Speechless even.

It took another few long moments for him to remember how to speak again.

„You want me to become your guardian?!" The dark clad hunter stammered, utterly perplexed by the seeress´ unexpected offer.

„Yes." Yeul answered evenly, her unblinking eyes not leaving his face for even a tiny second as she nodded her head encouragingly.

That look of otherness about her...

Those eyes that had seen far too much...

That sudden invitation of her´s...

They made the purple haired man feel uneasy, made him nervously shift his weight.

The seeress´ guardian?!

Him?!

Him of all people?!

What did she need him as a guardian for?

Weren´t there enough men willing to do that job?

More suitable candidates than him?

Of course there were...

There had to be...

Becoming the seeress´guardian, it was an honour.

An honour of the highest kind.

Everybody knew that!

Who was he to deny her that wish?!

„Caius...?"

Still...

The fact that she had asked at all striking him as odd, the prospect of the seeress wanting him as her guardian, it worried him to say the least.

Something about this was off.

Was wrong.

The man in front of her suddenly looking troubled, panicky even, Yeul thoughtfully let go of his hand, took a few steps away from him to give him some space.

Sure, he wasn´t ready for this yet.

He wasn´t ready to come to a decision yet.

She knew that of course.

Knew that it wouldn´t happen here right now.

Still, Yeul wished for nothing more but for the two of them to be reunited once again.

She and Caius...

Her guardian.

Soon they would be together again.

Soon everything would be set alright.

There was no way something could ever take him away from her anyway...

She just had to be patient.

Just had to give him a little more time.

Then one day, he would come and join her of his own accord.

„Don´t worry... You don´t have to decide right now." She told him, giving her best to sound nonchalant.

„You can think about it... There still is time."

The purple haired guardian, taking this as a clue to leave, he didn´t waste any time lingering in the chamber of the seeress.

Excusing himself with a curtuous nod of his head, he swiftly spun around to exit through the silky veil softly blowing in the autumn breeze.

* * *

 _The future lies before you,_

 _like a field of snow,_

 _be careful how you tread it,_

 _for every step will show._

 _-_ Author Unknown

* * *

Caius Ballad stepped out of the tall green bushes and into one of the Vallis Media´s many grassy clearings just to face the barrel of his companion´s ancient sixshooter again.

The sigh of it getting old already, he only gave her one of his accusing glares.

„Save your bullet." he adviced, before simply ignoring her threats, he made over to the spot on the ground where a miserable heap of dryed up leaves and branches indicated the timetraveller´s pittyful attempt at creating yet another campfire.

„You are lucky you´ve got me with you or you might have frozen to death with that fire building skills of yours."

Giving a tiny chuckle in an attempt to lift the mood the guardian to be made to work on building a proper fire instantly.

The pink haired warrior lowering her gun to wordlessly put it back to it´s place under her belt, she only shook her head.

She already knew of course that he would catch up with her eventually. But still, his sudden appearence had taken her by surprise again.

He should know better by now than to sneak up on her like that.

This stupid habit of his, it might as well cost him his life someday.

Letting the guardian to be take care of things at camp, she decided to take a tiny walk over to the next bend of the valley where the path vanished behind another corner. Resting her body against the cool blank rock of the towering stone walls, she made to stare up into the sky above, her eyes searching for the silver shimmer of Cocoon, but with the nightsky covered behind a blanket of thick dark clouds again, there was nothing to make out up there.

Nothing but darkness.

It didn´t matter.

She would never see it from the inside ever again.

Not in this life at least...

There was no way for her to return.

No way for her to change the timeline.

No use for her here anymore, here in this long forgotten past...

Her gaze wandering over to a miserable bunch of already wilting bioluminescent flowers, their once brightly shining blossoms now strangely dimmed, their otherwordly glow slowly fading, dying, she couldn´t help but give one of her defeated sighs.

Her journey, it was finally over.

There was nowhere else to go.

Nothing else to do.

She had served her purpose, as Yeul had so `sensitively´ put it.

What reason was there left for her to live?

Her existence here was now redundant.

She would just wait here now...

Wait until the day she died.

So one day she could be born again.

Raised just to complete her fate.

Unable to interfere.

Unable to change anything.

Unable to save anybody...

Because yes...

There simply was no way she could beat Caius Ballad.

Not with him having the Heart of Chaos.

She was too weak.

Not strong enough.

She knew that now.

Accepted it.

Should have accepted it a long, long time ago.

She had been a fool to fight him in the first place.

A fool to believe that she could actually stand a chance.

He had been merely playing with her.

All those times she had faced him in Valhalla...

He could have crushed her easily, right there on their first encounter.

But he hadn´t, right?

Why hadn´t he?!

„Lighting?!" Caius Ballad´s voice suddenly called out from somewhere next to her.

She hadn´t even realised he had approached her.

His deer stalking skills, they seemed to work on her as well.

Or had she just been too preoccupied to notice?

Her purple haired companion, careful to keep his safety distance once again, he made sure to come to a halt about one and a half meters away from her, a kind attempt not to upset her yet again.

It seemed to work this time.

At least for now.

The pink haired ex-soldier giving another devastated sigh, she nervously ran her fingers though her pinkish strands, before letting her arm fall back to her side, she carefully made to look up at him.

The worried look he gave her, she realised he had been trying to get her attention for quite some time now.

 _Great._

„Lightning... What is it?" he tried tentatively as taking in her completely lost expression, he carefully made to move in front of her.

„Nothing... I´m okay." the pretty female assured him pensively.

Caius Ballad didn´t buy it.

Not even for a second.

The way her eyes were staring off into the distance, the way she spoke those words, softly, almost reluctantly, he could tell something was bothering her. That she was hiding something behind that mask of indifference she always used to show him, to show to everybody.

„Come on... Lets go back to the fire. It´s getting cold out here..." the guardian tried carefully.

He really had no intention of upsetting her any further.

He really hadn´t.

„I´ll join you in a sec." came the timetraveller´s short response. Her voice unsteady, shaky, Caius Ballad knew whatever it was that bothered her, it had to be something serious.

The pink haired female walking away from him with small purposeless steps, the dark clad hunter watched her retreating back with concern, with worry.

Should he leave her be and give her some time to get herself together?

Or should he just go after her and make sure she was okay?

His instincts telling him to do the latter, but his brain reminding him of that revolver she still had tugged under that belt of her´s, the guardian to be decided to listen to his heart this time, telling him that whatever it was that had upset her, she might need somebody to talk to now, somebody to be there for her. And he knew that whatever it was he was supposed to do now, he couldn´t bring himself to actually leave her on her own.

Of course he did respect her wishes.

He always had.

But this time...

He simply couldn´t comply with what she asked of him.

He wouldn´t leave her by herself.

No.

Not in this condition.

Following his companion up to yet another bend in the path, he found her standing just around the corner, right under the protective shadows of yet another broad leaved tree. Leaning against it´s trunk for support, the way her slender fingers were clawing at the dry dark bark, as if trying hard to cope with some terrible kind of pain, it definitely didn´t escape his notice.

„Lightning... What´s wrong?" the guardian asked tentatively, not daring to move any closer as he came to a halt a few meters away from her.

„Please just leave me alone..." Was all the answer that he got.

Etro´s fallen champion, she couldn´t say much more.

Afraid the next sound coming out of her mouth would be a sob, the pink haired warrior sealed her lips shut instantly.

Just to be on the safe side...

She just needed a few moments to get herself together.

Just a few minutes to deal with the overwhelming flood of despair raging right inside of her, threatening to drown her any moment...

The insufferable male behind her, he didn´t seem to grant her as much as a second though, as sensing him standing some feet behind her, he didn´t even make to move a toe.

„What did Yeul say?" she heard him ask from behind her back.

He was curious of course.

He was always curious.

However, this really was none of his business.

„Nothing really." she just said to evade his question.

She had a hard time keeping her voice steady.

Her lips quivering with surpressed sobs, Lightning was glad she faced away from him, that he actually couldn´t see her face.

This time keeping up her carefully controlled composure took some real effort, was almost impossible.

She wasn´t sure if she could make it this time.

Wasn´t sure she could stay strong this time.

Wasn´t sure if she could fight it like she was so used to do.

Because this time she was weak.

This time she was volnurable.

This time she had nothing left to fight for.

This time she would crumble.

And she definitely didn´t need him there.

Definitely didn´t need him there to watch her when it happened.

Because no way was she going to let down her guard in front of him.

No way was she giving him the satisfaction of seeing her cry in front of him.

She hadn´t done so in Valhalla, and she was definitely not going to do it now.

„She didn´t... I... It doesn´t matter." she added as some kind of explanation, her voice breaking at the last part, to her horror she heard a soft whimper there escape her throat.

Making her sound almost as if she were in pain.

And maybe she was.

For all she knew.

Because it hurt.

It hurt so terribly.

The fact that she couldn´t save the future.

That she couldn´t save Serah.

That it was her fault all of this had happened in the first place...

The crushing load of her fate, her destiny, of what she had actually done, it made her chest constrict with heartache, made her lungs cramp up in pain.

How often had this happened already?

How often had she landed here in this past, stood here in exactly the same place, breathed exactly the same air, said the exact same thing?

How often had she roamed these lands and shot Caius and talked to Yeul?

It could have happened a gazillion times already.

She would never know.

No matter what she did, in the end everything would lead right back to where it started.

Wasn´t that what Yeul had said?

Going to see her back at Paddra all this weeks ago, she had led Caius straight to her, had paved the way for the start of yet another cycle.

Had sealed her fate, and Serah´s and Hope´s and Sazh´s and Snow´s.

Her friends...

Her family...

Would anything have ever changed if she had decided to head to Paddra all alone? Or was the seeress true and it would have happened anyway?

Was this her purpose all along?

To lead Caius back to her?

To start another cycle?

Was it really true?

Would everything she had ever done in her life, everything she would ever do, really lead to this, to that reality, somewhere at the end of time, when finally everything around her would cease to exist, to be swallowed by the unseen Chaos and do what exactly?

Start all over again?

„Light?!" her purple haired companion stepping right in front of her, he could have sworn that he saw tears there swimming in those pale blue eyes of her´s, as fighting hard to not just reach out and wrap his arms around her, he settled for again calling her name instead.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t seem to hear him though.

Didn´t respond at all.

Her gaze slowly wandering up to look at him, she couldn´t help but give a painful resignated sigh.

Had everything she had ever done really lead to this very moment, this very moment right here, right now, when finally she would understand that all she did was done in vain, that her only purpose was to unite the seeress with her guardian, to that very moment she would stand here, right in front of him?!

Everything?!

Every single step, every single action, every decision?!

„Lightning?"

She seemed so... Lost.

So helpless.

Her breath coming in tiny shaky bouts and her lips trembling violently, Caius knew the woman in front of him was fighting hard to keep her indifferent mask up.

Was fighting hard, but failing terribly.

„Lightning... Please... What´s wrong?!" he asked again, alarmed by the way she made to stare right through him, the way she didn´t even seem to realise that he was standing there in front of her, he suddenly felt he needed to hear her voice.

Needed her to talk to him.

Needed her to say something.

Anything.

Just so he´d know she was alright...

That she was going to be okay...

But the pink haired woman there in front of him, she just chose to remain silent.

The corners of her lips trembling, twitching dangerously, her features contorted in silent torment, Caius Ballad knew she was fighting hard to hide her emotions, was fighting hard to contain her pent up pain.

Those drowning tides of despair raging there inside her heart threatening to break again, threatening to consume her, to overpower her, to overcome her.

This time she was helpless.

This time she would break.

The guardian to be taking in those pale blue eyes, glassy with her unshed tears, her chest heaving with her repressed sobs and the fingers of her left hand digging deep into the soft bark of the poor tall tree, seeing his companion suffer like this, it was making his heart ache.

And it was unsure of what to do, that slowly he reached out for, as putting his hands on both her shoulders in an attempt to steady her, he lowered his head in order to try and look into her eyes again.

„Is it about home? Did she say you can´t go?" he asked cautiously, his eyes never leaving the woman´s devastated blue ones, desperately trying to coax at least some kind of answer from those pinkish lips.

But Etro´s fallen Champion, she just chose to look away.

She couldn´t tell him.

Not in a million years.

What Yeul had told her there...

She couldn´t talk about it.

To nobody.

Shit, now that she knew herself, she wished she had never found out in the first place...

What she had learned there, back at Paddra, back at the temple of the seeress...

It was...

It was just...

 _Oh Serah..._

A stifled sob forcing it´s way past her throat, her knees going week, she suddenly had a hard time keeping herself upright, keeping herself on her legs.

That sinking feeling in her chest...

Drowning...

She was drowning again.

Drowning in a sea of despair wthout a glimpse of land in sight.

And it was then that suddenly the wave inside her broke, that she felt her throat close up, the air around her suddenly becoming hard to breathe, she felt her heart racing away inside her chest in irregular painful beats, had a hard time remaining on her feet in fact, as she felt an invisible weight threatening to force her to her knees.

To wrestle her to the ground.

To crush her.

With her blood running through her veins suddenly turning to ice, her fingers suddenly numb and her hands trembling uncontrollably and with that crushing feeling in her chest, suddenly so much more than she could bear, making her slightly dizzy, faint, as feeling her world dragged away from underneath her feet, slowly falling apart behind that marble mask of sanity she was forcing herself to put on every day, finally after all that time, after all those years, her steely facade cracked.

It cracked and shattered and crumbled into a thousand tiny pieces until there was nothing left to protect her.

Nothing left to support her.

Nothing left to guide her.

Nothing left of the once fierce warrior, the knight fighting for the Goddess Etro in her shining armour.

Noting left but herself.

A helpless pathetic girl.

Naked.

Weak.

Defenseless.

Stripped from the bulletproof body suit she had put on the day her parents had died, volnurable, she stood there before her worst of enemies – Caius Ballad - the man who was going to kill her, who actually already had, trapped inside this nightmare she unfortunately couldn´t wake up from, no matter what she tried.

And suddenly she was unable to breathe.

Feeling as if all the air was sucked from her lungs.

And she knew that it was over.

That finally she was done.

That she couldn´t keep this up a second longer.

And she hastily tried to turn away from him.

To bolt.

To run.

To try and push him away.

It just made him grab her shoulders even harder.

„Lightning what´s wrong?!" The guardian asked more urgent this time, his voice suddenly alarmed, increasing in volume, he was about to shake her by her shoulders, was about to shout at her to make her give him at least some kind of answer when suddenly she opened her mouth to speak again.

„No- Nothing... I´m o – okay..." she stuttered.

It was the last thing she said before she lost control, before he saw her break.

The woman in front of him suddenly breathing heavily, her knees giving in completely suddenly and without warning, if he wouldn´t have been standing right in front of her she would have just collapsed to the ground.

The guardian to be, he caught her in his arms almost instantly.

Held on to her as slowly, carefully he lowered her to her knees.

Continued to hold on to her as he sat down on the ground with her.

As he pulled her close to him.

Continued to hold her in his arms as her body shook with sobs.

As her chest heaved with her stifled cries.

As the nails of her pretty slender fingers dug deep into the skin of his chest.

His arms.

His shoulders.

He didn´t care.

All he cared about was her.

And the fact that he had to be there for her.

The woman lying in his arms...

She needed him.

More than anything.

Needed him to be there for her.

She was relying on him.

That woman crying in his arms...

Her face buried in his shirt, slowly getting drenched with tears, her hands clawing at his arms, his sides, he felt her chest moving against his own with every shallow breath she took, felt those heart wrenching sobs, like tremors running through his body.

Seeing the once tough warrior break, it was almost more than he could bear.

He needed to find a way to make her feel better...

He had to.

But was there any?

Sure she hadn´t told him what had happened, what the seeress had revealed...

But it didn´t matter.

He could guess anyway.

She was here after all.

Still here with him.

Surely that could only mean one thing...

That for some reason she couldn´t return to her home in the future.

Or she would already be on her way for sure.

And although he knew it was insensitive and selfish and mean, although the fact of seeing her like that, broken, desperate, so full of pain, hurt him, made his heart ache, he couldn´t help but feel relieved. So infinitely relieved that she wasn´t going to leave, to leave him here in the Archylte Steppe, with nothing but a memory and the thought of what there could have been.

Because this way he wasn´t going to loose her.

This way he would get another shot.

Another shot at whatever it was they had going on between them.

Maybe if she´d finally accept the fact that she was going to spent the rest of her life here with him, maybe she would change her mind.

Maybe she would open up to him.

Maybe she would give him a chance.

Maybe he just had to give her time.

A little time to get over this...

Some time to heal...

He´d give her all the time he had, all the time she needed.

That much was for sure.

„It´s okay... I´m here." He softly whispered into her ear.

„I´m here for you."

It only made her sob even harder.

He didn´t care.

„I´ll always be there for you."

He wanted her to know this.

To know that she could always count on him, that she could always rely on him.

That he would never let her down.

 _Never._

And it was there on the cool, hard ground of the Vallis Media, the crows sitting on the nearby trees their only witnesses, that he kept holding her in his arms, that he kept holding her tightly, the fingers of his left hand tracing soothing patterns all over her back, her arms, her shoulders, until finally after what seemed like almost an eternity he slowly felt her sobs subside, felt them ebb away and turn into soft tiny whimpers, felt her breathing somewhat calm, felt her grip on his shirt slacken.

And he continued to stay with her, continued to hold her tight as, her hands still slightly trembling she just sat there, as leaning against his thorso, with her head resting on his chest, she listened to the beat of his heart.

 _His_ heart.

Not the heart of Chaos yet, but his very own.

Steady.

Strong.

That constant succession of slow rhytmic beats...

They were strangely calming her.

 _Caius..._

With those strong arms around her...

She couldn´t help but realise that she felt save and protected there.

With him...

That for some strange reason knowing that there was someone who was there for, that _he_ was there for her, was making her feel strong again, was making her feel so infinitely better.

And for a few tiny moments nothing of this mattered.

The timeline.

Their fight.

Their fate.

As if all those problems that she faced, that she had to face right now, were suddenly unimportant and small...

As if none of those things out there could actually do her any harm...

As if they somehow couldn´t reach her.

Couldn´t hurt her anymore...

Just as long as he was there with her.

Just as long as he was by her side.

If she could only stay like this forever...

Wrapped into her companion´s arms...

Where she could hide away...

Shielded from the outside world...

Far away from this horror that had suddenly become her reality...

Well, she was lucky this time it seemed.

For Caius Ballad wasn´t going to let her go anytime soon.

He so wasn´t.

Conscious of the way her breath was ghosting against the sensitive skin of his collarbone, sending tiny shivers up and down his spine, the way her hands were still clinging to his shirt, much gentler now, he had a hard time resisting the temptation to kiss her forehead as he burried his face deep into her pinkish strands instead.

„I won´t let you down." he whispered into that soft silky hair of her´s.

His arms unvoluntarily tightening around her body once again, he couldn´t help but feel the need to pull her closer.

To keep her there.

To never let her go.

 _Constants and variables..._

„Ever." He assured, his voice slightly husky as he brought up one of his hands to gently cup her cheek.

Husky but sincere.

„I promise..."

And with just those few tiny words, the world around her crumbled once again.

* * *

 _ **Never could I breathe love if I didn´t first inhale a little bit of Chaos.**_

\- Christopher Poindexter

* * *

 _We are all broken, that´s how the light gets in._

 _-_ Earnest Hemingway

* * *

Thanks for reading guys. Terrible long chapter I know.

Quotes from FFXIII-2 and LR as well as their respective FF Wiki entries. Also a looooot of stuff taken from Bioshock Infinite ending. And there´s also some quotes stolen from Albert Einstein and Steven Hawking + Some things taken from the Matrix trilogy as well.

So yeah... I hope you somewhat enjoyed that chap and I am already looking forward to your feedback this time, if you are kind enough to give me some. (*hugecutepuppyeyes*)

I did receive a lot of reviews on my last chap. And I am really grateful for all of those. I appreciated every single one of them. Feedback wasn´t even as bad as I had thought... No flames for shooting Caius... I actually was a bit disappointed (NO guys only joking^^)

Also I want to thank those of you who have added my story to favourites and of course my new subscribers.

Thank you for your amazing support. You are awesome.

And also I owe my thanks to XxShyxX again, who is doing such a good job keeping me motivated and helping me out with everything I need. Huge thanks there as well! Don´t know what I´d be doing without you!

Next chap will be up in two to three weeks approximately. (Chap won´t be that long, but I won´t be able to get anything done next week so...) So Keep looking forward to reading the next bit and please stay tuned!


	11. Chapter X: Endless Skies

Hey guys!

Are you still with me?

First of all let me appologize for that infinitely long delay. I´m so sorry I couldn´t update earlier. There were some really crazy things going on in my life and there was a tragic incident in my family that almost made me stop writing alltogether. But now finally I am back. And I am back with the longest chapter ever (approx. 24 k words^^).

I really hope some of those scenes included will make up for that awefully long wait.

I won´t bother you with any stupid blabla this time.

Here´s the next chap.

Now just read;)

And oh yes...

 **Please enjoy.**

* * *

(Vitaliy Zavadskyy - Biutiful Soundtrack)

 **CHAPTER X: ENDLESS SKIES**

 _Hearts are wild creatures._

 _Untameable._

 _Savage._

 _That´s why our ribs are cages._

\- Elalusz (altered)

* * *

They got back to an early autumn morning, the air brisk and the sky cloudy.

To a cool autumn breeze softly blowing in the waist high culms of grass.

To the first autumn dew, glistening on the dying leaves of some nearby trees.

Back to the Archylte Steppe.

Back to the small hunter´s village.

Back again to where everything had started.

Where everything had once begun.

To Lightning it was torture.

Hadn´t she decided to leave this place behind once and forever barely longer than a week ago?

Hadn´t she glimpsed back at that place from one of the Steppe´s gentle slopes with the parting glance of a silent good bye?

Hadn´t she been planning to never, ever, under any circumstances, return again?

She had...

And now she was here.

Was right here again.

Was passing the huge wooden gates once more.

Was walking down the main road and past those many tiny huts, sitting in exactly the same position she had left them, watching her as if their dark wooden fronts had eyes.

Was studying the main building rising up in front of her. Looking exactly the same way as when she had last seen it. With it´s huge wooden platform and it´s dark dingy windows.

Standing there in exactly the same place.

Staring back at her completely unaffected.

As if nothing had happened.

As if nothing had changed.

Ignorant to the way her world had just crumbled, had just been turned upside down.

And it was as if walking in a daze, that almost automatically, the pink haired warrior took down one of those less trodden paths that led away to the more secluded parts of the settlement and down to that hut she knew so well, had shared with her companion´s sister for all those previous weeks, those months.

And although everything looked exactly like it had before, although everything in the village was still exactly like she´d left it, to her, suddenly nothing was the same anymore.

Nothing seemed to be in order anymore.

That place once a safe haven for her, a place of peace, of relaxation...

Suddenly it just felt dreary and bleak.

Empty.

Although full of people.

Dead.

Although so full of life.

Dead.

Just like Serah.

And Snow.

And Hope and Sazh and Dajh and Fang and Vanille.

Dead.

They were all dead...

All gone...

Sure, they weren´t even born yet.

Not in this time at least.

Lightning knew that much of course.

The thing was just...

They weren´t alive either.

And what difference was there technically?

In a world like this...

She was alone.

Wasn´t she?

They all were.

They were born alone, and they died alone.

And surely everything they did there...

In between...

The journey...

Their path...

They walked it alone either...

„Lightning?"

It was Caius´ voice.

It somehow sounded as if from far away, muffled, as if he were talking to her from the other side of a thick heavy veil.

She had almost forgotten he was there.

Well, she actually had.

„Are you sure you want to be alone right now?" the guardian asked, his low calming voice dripping with concern, as coming to a halt next to her, he extended one of his hands to gently touch her arm.

„I can stay with you if you want me to..."

Looking up to meet his eyes, Lightning realised they had reached the battered old front door that would lead her into Cara Ballad´s hut.

 _Already._

She hadn´t even noticed they had walked that far.

„No... Thank you." She managed in a raspy voice.

Her throat was dry and her vocal cords still hoarse from crying.

Hours of crying, actually.

„I´ll be alright." She added somewhat reassuringly.

Worried amethyst eyes carefully scanning her face, her features, taking in every inch of her again carefully controlled expression, the pink haired warrior knew her companion wasn´t eager to let her go inside alone.

She wasn´t sure she wanted him to leave her either...

But well.

She needed time to think.

Time to be alone.

Some time to herself.

The purple haired hunter only hesitantly letting go from her arm, she knew he didn´t like it.

The thought of leaving her side even for one single tiny minute.

Not after everything that he had seen.

Not after he had seen her weakness.

Not after he had seen her break.

But Caius Ballad did respect her wishes.

And somehow the once fierce ex-soldier was thankful for that.

* * *

 _Emotions are supposed to be raw._

 _Ugly._

 _Brutal._

 _You don´t want someone to ´sorta´ love you._

 _You want that love to be a raging fire._

\- Origin Unknown

* * *

The sun was standing low and there were scattered rays of sunlight twinkling through the cracked dirty glass of Cara´s backroom window.

It was a nice sunny afternoon. One of those last warm days reminding of the summer, with the usual autum breeze taking a time out and a clear blue sky watching from above instead of that blanket of thick dark clouds the inhabitants of the small hunter´s village had already gotten themselves used to over those past few weeks. But instead of enjoying the last few warm days before the winter like the others, Etro´s fallen champion was still inside, sitting on her bunk and facing the wooden boards that made the opposite wall.

The withering leaves of the trees outside throwing dancing shadows on the blank dark wood, it was almost completely motionless that she wached the silent spectacle of light.

No...

She certainly had no intention of going outside.

No intention of seeing other people, of being in a crowd.

No intention of leaving the peaceful silence of that small crammed room.

No...

She had successfully locked herself away from the world outside behind that heavy wooden door that seperated Cara´s backroom from the rest of the nurse´s hut.

The world outside...

She just didn´t want to be part of it anymore.

Didn´t belong into it anymore.

Had no place in it anymore.

Was now redundant in this world she so carelessly had sentenced to death.

Whose death warrant she had signed the day she had failed to defeat Caius Ballad back there in the timeless realms.

And now that finally she knew the truth, had finally accepted it, and everyting that truth implied, suddenly Etro´s fallen champion wanted nothing more than to just fade, to just melt away, to disappear into nothingness.

Just like she had done there in the void beyond.

Yes...

There was nothing out there for her on the other side of that blasted door anymore.

Nothing.

 _Only pain._

Her gaze trailing back to her lap where she had that mysterious six shooter she had somehow come to carry on her when she was born into this godforsaken place glasped in her tiny pale hands, Lightning couldn´t help but sigh.

The fingers of her right hand tracing the shiny surface of the cool polished barrel, wandering upwards to carefully open the cylinder to check the chambers, her movements, they were steady, calm, precise.

There was only one bullet left inside.

Only one...

 _One bullet._

Turning the revolver muzzle-up, she let the single bullet drop into her waiting palm, before turning it over between the tips of her fingers, she brought it up, inspecting it from every angle.

That piece of lead...

She couldn´t help but think it had her name on it.

 _Her purpose here was served..._

She was no longer needed.

There was nothing she could do anymore.

Nothing she could change.

The only thing she´d do by staying here was creating even more Chaos...

Making the world die faster.

A little faster every day...

With every single beat of her heart.

With every tiny twitch of her eyelids.

Was this last bullet meant for her?

Carefully putting the tiny deadly piece of metal back into it´s rightful place, she carefully closed the cylinder and making sure it was properly aligned with the barrel, she slowly cocked the hammer.

Maybe she should just end it.

Every breath she took here would only serve to prolong her suffering...

Would only serve to feed the Chaos.

Those self destructive thoughts chasing themselves inside her head, pensively turning the gun over and over in her hands, the pink haired female had a hard time contemplating what to do, had a hard time formulating even a single clear thought.

The pain...

Maybe it was just too much...

Too much to bear...

After everything she had been going through...

Maybe she just couldn´t bear it anymore.

Or maybe she just didn´t want to.

Didn´t want to fight there any longer.

Yes maybe it was just that...

And it was with her eyes fluttering shut that she brought the gun up to her head.

Just to try the feeling...

 _Constants and variables._

Could she do it?

Could she really do it?

Would she be able to just end her life?

Right here?

Right now?

The feeling of the deadly weapon´s muzzle pressing against the side of her head, the end of the six shooter´s barrel against the soft skin of her skull, it felt hard and final.

Cool.

But reassuring.

She had made so many mistakes...

Had taken the wrong turns, had made the wrong decisions.

Looking back at her life now she realised there were so many.

So many things she had done wrong.

 _So many of them..._

Maybe, finally, this was the right thing to do.

 _Maybe, if she just put her finger on that fucking trigger..._

She was ripped out of her miserable thoughts by a sudden knock on the door.

„Lightning?"

It was Caius Ballad´s voice.

 _Shit._

The pink haired warrior looking up with a start, she let the ancient gun drop back into her lap almost instantly.

What was _HE_ doing here?

Why did he have to come here in the first place?!

Why now?

She didn´t need him there, didn´t need anybody.

Not ever and certainly not now.

And it was holding her breath that silently she waited for her companion´s next move, praying for him to just turn around and leave, as closing her eyes tightly, she wished the annoying male away.

She wasn´t going to be lucky this time though.

There were a few moments of silence, before carefully he tried again.

„Light?" she heard his voice again, reaching out to her from the other side of the door, his tone now soft and full of concern.

 _Please just leave..._

It took only a few more seconds before the door was slowly opened with an ancient sounding creak and the tall slender frame of the man who would become the seeress´guardian appeared in the dimly lit doorway.

There was no sign of any kind of greeting whatsoever coming from her side.

No indication that actually she even acknowledged his presence, as her gaze clued to the floor, the pink haired soldier watched the approaching hunter´s feet from the topmost corner of her eyes.

She didn´t even bother to look up at his face, missed the way his amethyst eyes scanned her lost expression, worried, then aghast, as slowly he allowed them to take in the scene.

„Hey..." the guardian to be started carefully, his eyes darting down to the weapon in her lap, then back to look into her face again.

„How are you?"

A futile attempt at starting a conversation, he knew.

It didn´t matter.

He needed to try anyway.

Etro´s fallen champion, she just continued staring at the floor apathetically in response.

Caius hadn´t exactly expected anything else.

She´d been like this for almost three days now.

Hadn´t come out of her room.

Hadn´t talked to anybody.

Shit, she probably hadn´t even eaten anything...

He wasn´t sure.

He shouldn´t have left her out of his sight...

He understood that now.

Shouldn´t have left her here all on her own.

Yes, of course she wanted it.

Had asked for it.

But still.

He shouldn´t have complied.

Sadly enough it had taken him finding her hiding away in her room playing around with that gun loaded in her lap to grasp that fact.

What had she been planning to do with that thing anyway?!

„Here … I brought you some lunch." he offered after another few moments of silence.

There was movement and the sound of a wodden tray carrying a plate with food and a jug of water being set down on the bedside table.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t bother to even glimpse at it.

No way was she going to eat.

No. Fucking. Way.

She wasn´t going to get anything down anyway.

„Come on. Have some." the guardian to be encouraged though, leaning down to pour some water into a glass for her.

But the devastated female next to him, she didn´t answer, didn´t show the slightest inclination to move even her little finger.

Following her empty stare, Caius Ballad´s eyes trailed down to the revolver, innocently sitting in her lap again.

There was a long drawn sigh and a certain purple haired man shaking his head, before carefully approaching the woman sitting on the bed, he silently made to crouch down right in front of her.

That gun of her´s...

Carefully reaching out to disentangle it from his companion´s small cool fingers, the fact that for some strange reason the weapon had been brought to full cock, it didn´t escape the attentive hunter´s notice.

 _Wait..._

What had she been doing in here exactly?!

What had she cocked that revolver for?!

If Caius Ballad knew what kind of thoughts had been running through that pretty head of her´s only seconds before he had knocked on the door to her room...

Well, the pink haired time traveller would probably never have heard the end of it.

His forehead wrinkled in confusion, Caius Ballad didn´t waste much time with thinking, but carefully taking the gun away he put it on the bedside table where it savely rested next to the food tray, before slowly he turned back to the woman sitting there in front of him.

That woman that had so unexpectedly stepped into his life...

That woman that had so suddenly turned his whole world upside down...

Somehow he´d never understand what was going on behind those pools of icy blue, what was going on inside her mind...

Or would he?

There were a few minutes spent in silence where he just sat there in front of her doing nothing besides breathing and looking at her, studying her pretty features, now completely expressionless...

Trying to look into those haunted pale blue eyes, puffy now from crying...

Those dark circles underneath said eyes telling him she wasn´t getting any sleep...

Not enough at least.

Those rosy lips once soft and so utterly kissable, now chapped and dry, the small breaths she took from the tiny gap between them, they where ragged and shallow.

Yes.

Claire Farron really was a mess.

Seeing her in this condition, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but feel his heart ache.

What had happened to the once so fearless warrior?

What had happened there, back at Paddra, back at the temple of the seeress?

How could the words of a single little girl have such an impact on a woman once so determined, so tough, as she had been?

How could a few stupid words just break her, break someone as strong as her?

Break her.

Just like that.

Caius Ballad didn´t understand.

He couldn´t.

Couldn´t even fathom.

Leaning closer to the girl in front of him, he carefully brought up his hands before moving in to gently cup her cheeks he slowly made to push some of those stray pinkish strands out of her face to savely tuck them behind her ears.

„I know you´re hurting..." he started carefully, his voice soft, gentle, soothing. The hand that had been occupied with her hair finding it´s way back to her face, mirroring the other he let it come to rest at her other cheek.

It finally made her lift her gaze to slowly, cautiously look up into his eyes.

„I know..." the guardian affirmed, worried amethyst eyes boring into pale pained blue ones.

The pink haired warrior in front of him, she had no clue on what to think, to say, to feel...

No idea on what to do.

There where just those eyes...

Those deep dark pools of mesmerizing purple...

How come that all that time she had been forced to spent with him there in Valhalla, she hadn´t bothered to properly look at them, had failed to glimpse their beauty?

How?

How had she even been able to fight this man, to step into his way?

How had she been able to defy him?

How was she supposed to do so now...

With the rest of the world suddenly drifting to the background, Etro´s fallen champion completely lost in thought, she allowed herself to drown in them just for a little longer.

It was the guardian´s voice that made her snap back to reality.

„But Lightning, please..." the man in front of her insisted almost pleadingly.

„You´ve got to eat something!"

The mouthwatering scent of freshly roasted meat wafting over from the food tray on the bed side table, the timetraveller´s stomach giving a desperate hungry growl, begging her to finally get herself something to eat, Lightning suddenly realised that she was starving.

Had been starving now for days...

When had been the last time she had properly eaten again?

She couldn´t even remember anymore.

The concerned male in front of her giving her a pleading look, he unceremoniously pushed the plate into her lap, forced fork and knife into her open palms.

„Please Lightning... Just eat. Okay?" he added somewhat imploringly.

The slender female sitting on her bunk, she only presented the man in front of her with an incredulous stare.

What would he do next?

Start feeding her tiny spoonfulls?

It was ridiculous...

„Don´t make me force you." the guardian warned as he watched the stubborn female take a tentative first bite.

Deciding it would do no good to defy him this time, Etro´s fallen champion deciding to for once heed his advice, she just complied.

Although she had no idea how he was going to implement his threat, she had a feeling she´d rather not find out.

Not today...

Slowly chewing on her piece of well done meet, the pink haired time traveller´s body thankful for every tiny bite she swallowed, relieved to finally receive some food, Lightning couldn´t resist the impuls to reach out for the next load eagerly.

That piece of roasted deer, garnished with what had to be the last fresh vegetables of the season, although she had eaten that same dish so many times since she had gotten here, although she had been planning not to eat at all, now that finally she had tried it, she couldn´t help but admit it tasted delishiously, could´t find it in her to stop.

Caius Ballad didn´t interfere.

He just sat there on the floor in front of her, wordlessly waited until she was done, until the dark brown wooden plate was cleared and she had even the tiniest crumbs picked up with the tips of her delicate slender fingers.

It took her a surprisingly short time actually.

It was the second she laid down her fork that he got up to take away her plate and placed it on the bedside table to then hand her that glass of water he had poured for her before.

She accepted it without resistance, downed it in a few fast thirsty gulps, before handing it back to her purple haired companion, she couldn´t help but give a tiny content sigh.

Now that she had been fed and watered, suddenly she felt so infinitely better.

How come she hadn´t realised she´d been that hungry...

The purple haired guardian studying his companion´s features carefully, he slowly made to get up, before picking up the tray again, he made his way back into the front room.

Etro´s fallen champion, her hands now neatly folded in her lap, she couldn´t help but wonder, as pensively she watched his retreating back.

Why was Caius Ballad doing this?

Why was he watching out for her?

Why did he care so much?

What could happen in a thousand years that would turn this man so nice to her into her mortal enemy? That would make him her nemesis, and brand her as his target?

What would make him want to hurt her, even kill her...

It couldn´t all be just because of Yeul, or could it?

Would he really want to kill her, kill all those million people, just for the sake of a tiny little girl?

Somehow it felt hard to believe.

No, not him.

Not that man who had just made her eat what felt like only seconds ago.

No way.

It couldn´t be.

Or could it?

Somehow Lightning wasn´t even sure she wanted to find out.

Well, there certainly was no use thinking about it now.

For this reason or another...

It would happen anyway...

Hearing the clinking sound of dishes being washed in the large bucket of water Cara always had set up somewhere in the front room, using it as some kind of a sink, it didn´t take long until the subject of her musings returned to join her in her room.

The sight of his companion still sitting in the exact same position as he had left her, giving him something to think about, Caius Ballad caught the stubborn female eying that still cocked gun on the nightstand again.

The way her eyes trailed it´s barrel from the muzzle to the trigger, contemplatively, almost longingly, silently watching from a few feet away, Caius Ballad knew it was no use.

Whatever she´d been planning to do with it, it certainly hadn´t been anything good.

Oh, how much he wished the blasted thing away.

Wished she had never found it, never brought it in the first place.

The only thing it would ever cause was pain.

 _Death and pain._

The fallen champion´s eyes stopping somewhere at the weapon´s trigger, she listlessly reached out to touch it´s steely cool surface.

 _Serah..._

Oh how much she missed Serah...

How much she missed all of them...

What would happen once she died?

Would she just be swept away in another whirl of Chaos, ready to be born anew?

Ready to face her fate once more?

Would she just be born in that world up in the sky a thousand years into the future with not even the glimpse of a memory of what had happened since she got here, of what was going to happen in her adult life?

Wouldn´t it be nice to just start anew.

To make the same mistakes, the same experiences.

To just live her life without the shadows of the truth lurking there somewhere at the back of her head, waiting to jump on her whenever she dared not to control her thoughts?

There hadn´t only been bad times then, had there?

There had been good ones too.

Somewhere, burried deep under the debries of her broken heart, there they still were.

All those happy memories.

All those sunny afternoons spent with her sister and her mother and her father, down at the sandy beaches of Bodhum.

Back when she had still been a kid.

Back when everything had still been alright.

Yes. They were still there.

Waiting for her, ready to be pulled out again.

If only she dug deep enough.

And surely, if what Yeul had said was true, she´d be ready to live through them again.

To be there again...

If only she had the courage to just pull that fucking trigger.

The index finger of her right hand caressing the weapon´s mentioned part, it was after about another minute of quiet staring that suddenly she felt the gentle touch of Caius´ fingers on her forearm, making her look up at him.

„Come on. Let´s go outside." He said.

It wasn´t a question.

She knew.

Staring down into her tortured pale blue eyes, Caius Ballad didn´t wait for her to fabricate some kind of answer, but just grabbed her hand and pulled her up instead.

„You´ve been sitting inside here long enough." he insisted, as ignorant to his companion´s silent protests, he unceremoniously dragged her back outside.

* * *

 _And in the end we´re all just humans._

 _Drunk on the idea that love,_

 _and only love,_

 _could heal our brokenness._

\- Christopher Poindexter

* * *

„Where are we going?"

Following the motivated male back towards the main building and then to the other side of the village, taking down yet another of those well trodden paths, Lightning had a hard time keeping up with him.

What was he planning for them this time?

Oh, she was so not in the mood for one of his stupidly running around sessions.

She. So. Wasn´t.

If he had anything like this in mind, he could very well go on his own, _thank you very much_.

„My place." came the promt response.

„Huh?"

The unexpected answer taking the pink haired female by surprise, it made her stop dead in her tracks and stare at the man walking in front of her in what could only be discribed as a completely perplexed manner.

What the hell were they supposed to be doing at his place?!

„I gotta go and fetch something." the guardian offered as some kind of explanation.

It made the pink haired woman shake her head in irritation.

„Oh... Uhm... Okay." was all she managed to get out.

Etro´s fallen champion just following in silence, it didn´t take long for the two of them to reach their destination.

Passing yet another set of those ordinary wooden shacks, the dark clad hunter finally stopped in front of an unimpressive small one.

The window in the front was broken and the wooden boards neglected, brittle, starting to come apart already, but there was a welcoming tiny porch with a cozy looking seating arrangement and a tiny fire place in front of it to make up for the uninviting first glance.

Walking up the two small steps to reach the front door, Lightning couldn´t help but risk a glimpse inside as the man in front of her slowly pulled it open to instanly go for a large dark cupboard leaning against the opposite wall, where he started rummaging inside it´s many drawers at once.

He had the room crossed in only a few fast strides.

Etro´s fallen champion, she gave the purple haired man a few moments before hesitantly she made to go inside.

Yes.

There was only a single room.

And it was very simple.

A bed.

A cupboard.

A small assortment of weapons and other hunting utensils spread on a tiny wooden table...

Taking a look around, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the semi darkness of the room, letting them glide over the guardian to be´s few personal belongings, Lightning couldn´t help but feel she instantly liked everything she saw.

There was a fluffy blanket made of sheepwhool draped over the cozy looking bed and what seemed to be a dark thick buffalo hide spread out on the floor to serve as some kind of carpet. And the wooden chair there, leaning in a corner with one of it´s legs broken from whatever incident had caused this misfortune to happen, there was one of Caius´ dark cotton shirts resting on it´s backrest.

Yes the interior was very basic.

Simple...

The complete opposite of Caius...

The probably most complex character she had ever met in her entire life.

„So this is where you live, huh?" the pink haired female stated somewhat dreamily, as letting her eyes flit around the room, she made the purple haired man look up from searching his belongings for whatever it was he was actually searching for almost immediately.

„It isn´t much, I know..." he replied somewhat shyly, quickly averting his gaze again the second that he met her eyes. Yes, he was aware his accommodations were by no means something to be proud of, was aware she was probably used to so much better.

„I think it´s great..." the pink haired woman replied reassuringly.

The guardian to be, he only grimaced, before giving a nonchalant shrug, he went back to rummaging through the cupboard until finally, from the dephts of one of it´s many drawers, he retrieved a battered looking wicker basket.

Making her way over to the last free wall in the meantime, Etro´s fallen champion let her eyes glide over the contents of an old dusty shelf, leaning against the wooden boards as if it was about to crumble any second.

She was curious.

What would a man like Caius Ballad bring back home to put there on display?

Leaning a little closer, there wasn´t exactly much to see.

A Behemoth´s claw.

A piece of flint.

A weird shaped stone...

Her gaze getting caught by something refletive, something solid, seethrough, almost as if made of glass, no crystal...

That object attracting her attention, the soft rays of the sunlight making their way through the open door reflecting on it´s shiny surface, the way it sat there merrely twinkling back at her, it suddenly seemed strangely familiar.

„Come on, lets go." the guardian said, as passing by her slightly bent down form, he headed for the exit.

The pink haired warrior though, she didn´t move, didn´t even move one inch.

Completely mesmerized by the way the sunlight got refracted by the shiny surface´s many prisms, braking it up into million different colours, Etro´s former champion, she couldn´t bring herself to look away.

Yes.

It was crystal.

Undoubtedly crystal.

Sitting there on this rocky old shelf, if it weren´t for it´s random shardlike shape, that piece of crystal, it would have looked exactly like the tiny crystal tear, Serah had given to Snow just after she had been transformed.

What was it doing here waiting on a shelf right inside Caius Ballad´s hut?

The patient male stopping somewhere in the doorway, turning around to wait for his pink haired companion to finally tear herself away from staring at his things, Lightning couldn´t help but stay behind completely mesmerized.

„Caius... What is this?" she asked somewhat tentatively.

It was a stupid question to ask of course.

She knew exactly what it was.

But how did it get here?

Lightning didn´t know.

The purple haired guardian walking back inside, coming to stand there right behind her, he carefully reached out to take it in his hands and show her.

„It´s a crystal shard." He explained, holding the mysterious object up for her to see between his thumb and index finger.

There was the familiar note of nostalgia creeping into his slightly husky voice.

„It was my mother´s." he continued.

„She gave it just a second after she completed her focus and was turned to crystal..."

The pink haired warrior, she only gave him a quizzial look.

„Your parents were L´Cie?! I thought they died..." she whispered somewhat pensively.

Yes.

Caius had definitely told her they had died.

Back then at Imani´s wedding.

She remembered it.

Remembered it as if it were only yesterday.

„They did." was his cryptic response.

Curious blue eyes searching his amethyst sad one´s, Caius Ballad instantly averted his gaze again.

„Their crystals where destroyed the second they transformed." he added, carefully putting the piece of crystal back to it´s place where it had rested on the shelf before.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t miss the saddened untertone leaking into her companion´s steady voice.

„I thought crystal was indestructable..." she admitted softly, as shyly looking up at her companion´s face she made to check on his carefully composed features.

„Appearently it isn´t." he just stated dryly.

The words tasting bitter on his tongue, Caius Ballad gave a small pained sigh, before offering a small sad smile, he just turned and made to walk back outside.

Remaining inside for a second longer, Etro´s fallen champion, she gave the shard another look.

Sure.

It was possible.

Crystal could be destroyed.

Hadn´t she seen it?

Hadn´t she seen it up there from her place in Valhalla?

How the crystal pillar Fang and Vanille had sacrificed themselves to create had crumbled, one piece after the other, a tiny little bit every single day...

That crystal shard...

That piece of Caius Ballad´s mother...

Sitting there on the topmost shelf of the dark clad hunter´s room, it reflected the light entering through the wodden door, reflected it in many brilliant clours.

Reflected it exacly the way Serah´s tear had.

 _Serah..._

Oh, what had she done?

 _What had she done to deserve this?!_

„Come on. Let´s just get going." the attentive male called over from the porch outside, his voice indicating that slowly he was loosing his patience.

She didn´t let him tell her twice.

There was no need to dwell there any longer.

* * *

There was a bit of silence.

The pink haired warrior following her male companion´s lead, she wordlessly took down the small path he created walking through the knee high grass growing right behind his hut.

The usually cheerful hunter now suddenly gloomy and pensive, no matter how hard she tried to rack her brain, Lightning couldn´t think of any way to lift the mood..

Why did she have to ask him about that stupid crystal shard?

Reminding the man of his parent´s tragic deaths, it might not have been the best way to repay him for his gentle care.

Maybe she shouldn´t have brought it up at all...

No...

Seeing Caius Ballad sad, it definitely wasn´t something she was hoping to get used to.

Making their way down a gentle slope and back into the wilderness, the glorious play of colours of the nearby tree´s leaves and the sound of closeby flowing water mixed with the happy chirps of birds, soothing to their aching souls, it was breathing in the fresh cool air carried over to them by a gentle breeze, that seemed to lift a weight from them, carrying their worries away with it´s pleasant draught and scattering them into all directions of the winds.

„Where are we going anyway?" the pink haired female asked after what felt like almost half an hour of walking there in complete silence.

„Where do you wanna go?" was the guardian´s prompt counter question, as he turned around to look at her, he curiously quirked an eyebrow.

Where did she want to go...

It was easy really.

The easiest question to answer yet.

The pink haired woman coming to a halt only a few steps away from him, she couldn´t bear to look into his eyes as she felt those words there leave her lips.

„Home..." she breathed, her voice barely a whisper.

She still couldn´t grasp it.

The fact that she wasn´t going to return.

That she was never going to see her family again.

Never going to see her friends again.

Ever...

It was the tickle of the guardians fingers on the sensitive skin of her jawline that made her look up into his eyes again.

„Maybe you are already there..."

Those deep dark pools of purple darting all over her face and down to her pinkish lips, although he was so damn close again, this time Lightning didn´t even feel the urge to pull away.

Could he be right?

Could this godforsaken place, lost in a long forgotten past, really become something even remotely like a home to her?

Could she just stay here, somehow settle in in that small hunter´s village?

With Cara and Caine and Caius?

 _Caius..._

„I thought we´d get ourselves some fish..." the tall man in front of her admitted, as slowly he let his hand drop back to his side.

„Fish?" the timetraveller uttered sceptically, giving him one of her incredulous stares again.

„Yeah... Fish." her purple haired companion replied somewhat mockingly, as he took in the warrior´s befuddled look.

„Don´t you like fish?"

The pink haired female, she just shrugged her shoulders.

„Sure..." she replied stupidly.

She couldn´t believe it.

Had he really dragged her all the way out here to go and get some fish?

Maybe she really should have stayed inside...

„I thought we could bring them down to the market. You know change them in for something else..." the guardian suggested, in hope to lift her mood.

Another „Sure..." was all the answer that he got.

 _Oh dear..._

Was she going to be like this all day?!

No way...

He wouldn´t have it.

„Oh come on... Don´t do this." he told the sulky woman somewhat pleadingly, as turning around to look at her again, he stopped to safely set his wicker basket somewhere on the ground.

„Do what?" she retorted angrily.

„Pull that grumpy face on me all day..." the guardian contered knowingly as slightly cocking his head to the side, he allowed a small mocking grin to spread upon his lips.

„I´m not grumpy..." the woman said defiantly, her eyes narrowing dangerously at that stupid male so insolently smiling now.

„Sure..." the hunter teased.

That smile of his intensified.

The once fierce ex soldier only gave him one of her venomous glares.

They seemed to have become a speciality of her´s already.

„Proof it." the man just said, staring into those irritated icy eyes.

Her gaze darting to the ground, the guardian´s female companion, she only had time for a small frustrated snort before suddenly she felt the irritating male´s hands at her sides, as taking a step closer, he came to a halt directly in front of her.

It made her gaze snap back up to his face in the bat of an eyelid.

They where close now...

So very close.

Their chests only an inch apart, Lightning felt the dark cotton fabric of her companion´s shirt softly brush against her washed out brown one with every tiny breath she took.

It still felt strange...

To be so close to him...

So close to the man she knew would one day become her enemy...

Would one day become her coldblooded killer.

Strange...

But somehow nice and soothing all the same.

Wait, since when did she allow that man to come that close to her?!

„You still look grumpy." the guardian informed, his beautiful amethyst eyes smiling down at her as he gave her sides a gentle reassuring squeeze.

She only gave him an angry scowl in return.

The most hostile one that she could muster...

It only caused his smirk to widen, to turn into another handsome halfsmile.

She took her time to study it, to memorize it, every tiny inch of it, to somehow try and capture it, to keep and store it somewhere in her heart for later, until suddenly feeling one of his hands drop away from her side the enigmatic male brought it up to gently brush away some of her stray pinkish strands again.

The spot his hand had rested only seconds ago now empty, she couldn´t help but miss the warmth of his touch there on one side of her upper body.

His hand now lingering somewhere at her temple instead, the stubborn pink haired woman, she fought hard to maintain her hostile scowl.

„You know you´re beautiful when you do that, right?" the guardian offered lightheartedly.

Taking in her ensuing shocked expression, for a short moment there, Caius could have sworn he made her blush.

The timetraveller´s pretty pale blue eyes giving a dangerous flash, they were the last thing he remembered, before her fist impacting with his injured shoulder, he felt his world light up in pain, making him cringe away and gasp in shock, his hand darting to his still healing wound as fighting for air he beat reatret, nearly stumbling over the basket he had dropped to the ground only a few minutes ago.

„Hey what was that for?" he managed between sharp intakes of breath, once he found his voice again.

Looking up at his companion from his slightly bent down posture, he couldn´t help but throw her a hurt reproachful stare.

„Being the insufferable jerk you are..." the inconsiderate female threw at him, as not wasting him another glance, she made to continue on their path down to the river.

„Um...thanks?!" the guardian choked out as slowly recovering from the warrior´s vicious punch, staring at his companion´s retreating back in disblieve, he carefully made to pick up the basket to finally follow to the bank below.

* * *

„Come on." the guardian encouraged about five minutes later, his voice cheerful and his mood lifted once again, as carefully he held out his hand for her to guide her down the rocky slope that lead to what was probably the clearest river Etro´s fallen champion had seen in her entire life.

The sight of the cool dark waters stretching out in front of them making him recover from that setback from before in seemingly no time at all, Caius Ballad couldn´t wait to finally get something to do.

The small stream gently winding it´s path from it´s origin somewhere in the the Yaschas Massif and throught the Vallis Media, all the way though the Archylte Steppe and past the peaceful hunter´s village, accepting her companion´s help, the pink haired warrior let herself slide down until she reached it´s rocky bank.

Her purple haired companion, busy setting his wicker basket down on the ground somewhere behind them, Lightning only watched him as he eagerly bent down to take off his shoes and started to turn up his trousers.

„Come on." he said again, squinting up at her through his long dark purple bangs, the woman next to him, she gave a small defeated sigh before hesitantly she bent down to follow his example.

„Have you ever gone out fishing before?" the guardian asked, slowly making his way into the bubbling waters of the river once he finally was done.

„No." was his companion´s brief reply.

It was true of course.

She had never bothered to try and catch a fish before.

Not in this life at least.

Why should she have bothered?

She had been provided with food by the Fal´Cie for almost her entire life...

„It´s easy really." the man now ankledeep into the waters assured her instantly.

„Don´t worry, I´ll show you how it´s done."

It was only a second later that he moved to take off his shirt, unbuttoning the first few inches of it´s front, then impatiently pulling it over his head to get rid of the clingy fabric.

The pink haired warrior standing a few feet away from him completely stunned, she could do little else but stare at the sight of those few square inches of naked skin.

Her eyes roaming her male companion´s exposed chest almost instantly, she had them dart up to that gunshot wound of his still prominently sitting on his shoulder.

 _Ouch..._

Yeah sure...

It was getting better.

But still, it was a nasty wound to nurse.

The skin around the entrance wound still bruised and swolled, surely sensitive as hell, for a tiny moment there, Etro´s fallen champion regretted having hit him in exactly that same place just about ten minutes ago.

Maybe it had been a tiny bit too much...

He certainly hadn´t deserved it.

Any of it...

How come she always felt the pull to hurt him?

He hadn´d done her any harm ever since she had gotten here, or had he?

Was this something she had brought with her from Valhalla?

Something that had gotten some kind of strange habit, something that after fighting him for such a long time had been beaten into her head until it had become natural to her, had almost become routine for her, something that after all this time she couldn´t let go, even now that there was no need to fight, to hurt him anymore?

Her gaze still clued to the wound in her companion´s shoulder, for a brief moment there Lightning wondered how Caius had actually managed to forgive her.

How?!

She had tried to kill him.

She almost had...

She had betrayed his trust.

She had hurt him.

Had terribly injured him.

He had to have been in horrible pain.

Even now she could see that wound still hurt him.

Could see it in the way he moved.

And she couldn´t help but sense the nagging feeling of guilt, of regret there, gnawing at her insides...

Why had she done this to him again?!

The subject of her musing motioning for her to follow him into the clear cool waters, Lightning shook her head in an attempt to clear her head.

„What are you waiting for?" the guardian asked somewhat encouragingly.

„I hope it´s okay for you if I decide to leave my shirt on..." the still slightly grumpy female offered dryly.

The man in front of her just gave her an incredulous snort.

No...

There was no way she was going to undress herself in front of him.

She did make to remove her top shirt though, stripping down to the washed out borrowed tank top she wore underneath, earth coloured, like almost every piece of clothing she had come to wear here in this godforsaken place.

There...

At least she wouldn´t wet all of her precious borrowed clothes now, she thought as taking one tiny step towards the waterline, she probingly dipped her left foot´s toes inside to test the waters.

It was chilly cold.

 _Shit._

Looking up at her companion, standing in the knee deep water only a few feet away from her, she couldn´t help but grimace.

How could he just stand in there as if it were nothing but a pleasant cooling?!

Anyway, she wasn´t one to chicken out that easily.

And so it was gritting her teeth that she waded into the waters, the icy liquid reaching up above her knees attacking her skin like a million tiny needles, it was when she had almost reached the man patiently waiting for her to catch up with him, that she slipped there on the slimey surface of a smooth wet stone.

„Careful now!" the guardian warned, ready and there to steady her with one of his strong arms.

It wasn´t the first time that she was thankful he was there to catch her when she needed him, to hold her.

The purple haired hunter´s arm sneaking it´s way around her waist, he made sure to maintain a safe firm hold on her as he steered her over to what he thought had to be the perfect place for catching someting.

„Shit, it´s fucking cold!" the pink haired female choked out between gritted teeth, when he released her, the icy waters almost reaching up to her hips now, if it weren´t for the warm rays of the early autumn sun, surely she would have succombed to violent shivers already.

„Yeah. I know!" the guardian chuckled, gesturing at his own legs immersed in the freezing floods.

„But believe me it´s the best place for catching something. It really is." he added raising his eyebrows at her reassuringly.

The pink haired female seriously doubting his last words, she impatiently waded over to where her companion made to carefully study the icy water´s murky dephts.

„Don´t move now." he ordered, making her stop dead in her tracks with a gesture of his hand as he prepared himsef for his first catch.

„I´ll show you how it´s done."

The concentrated male, staring to the bottom of the river, his forehead creased in concentration, carefully following his gaze, Lightning found a single dark gray fish curiously gliding around the hunter´s legs.

What was he going to do?

Grab that thing with his bare hands or what?

No... Seriously?

Her pinkish eyebrows riding up her forehead, Ligthning could only watch in bewilderment as the purple haired man in front of her readyed himself for the catch, standing there in the tigh deep water slightly bent down and completely motionless, until all of a sudden, he just darted foreward and attacked.

The unsuspecting fish though, a big slimey one, it didn´t seem to be in the mood to get caught and grilled anytime soon it seemed as wriggling itself from the guardian´s grip easily, with a few strong hasty movements, it managed to escape again, splashing the completely baffled hunter with icy cold water and almost making him fall over in the process.

The pink haired female watching the spectacle from her position a safe distance away, she couldn´t help but burst with laughter.

What the fuck had just happened?

Had our incredibly talented hunter Caius Ballad really just failed in showing off some of his incredibly well mastered skills?!

Etro´s fallen warrior, suddenly shaking with laughter, unable to control it, any of it, she almost couldn´t believe her eyes.

Did that fish really just almost make him topple over?!

The purple haired hunter obviously hurt in his pride, he only gave her an accusing glare.

That face he pulled on her, it did nothing to ease her laughting fit it seemed.

„I´m sorry!" the cocky female choked, trying to supress her giggles and covering her mouth with both her hands in an attempt to try and get herself together, her eyes twinkling at him with mirth, it was no use.

With those front strands of purple hair framing her companion´s handsome features now wet and sticking to his cheeks and forhead, the reproachful look he gave her, it was only making her laugh even harder.

It was crazy really.

She couldn´t even remember when she had last had a laugh like that.

„S-Sorry..." she forced out between some bursts of laughter.

„It´s just... It´s just... `I´ll show you how it´s done...´" she managed, doing a surprisingly good job imitating the irritated hunter´s voice before involuntarily she erupted in giggles again.

It was only a second later that her laughter stopped abruptly as suddenly she found the front of her shirt, her hair, her face drenched in icy cold water as well.

„Hey! Stop that!" she snapped at the insolent male who had had the audacity to splash her too.

„I don´t talk like that!" Caius Ballad contered playfully, the sun reflecting off those tiny droplets of water, it made them shimmer like a million tiny diamonds as they made their way over his chest and down to his abdomen to vanish somewhere beneath the belt holding up his trousers.

„You do!" the pink haired female snarled, splashing water back at him.

„I don´t!" he contered, a big bright smile managing to force it´s way onto his handsome features.

She didn´t give him the opportunity to say some more before striking again, she showered the guardian to be in another fountain of freezing cold liquid.

„No... Stop it!" he pleaded, the icy water stinging like a thousand needles, it was making the poor hunter shiver and his skin errupt in goosebumps.

„Please!"

The pitiful male completely drenched in water now, Etro´s fallen champion, she showed no mercy, as splashing him again and again in a relentless assault, surely she had no intention of going easy on him any time soon.

How dare he attack her like that?!

That water, it was colder than the frost on a champagne glass...

„Hey! I said stop it!" the usually goodnatured male ordered, as finally making a move to defend himself he instinctively lunged foreward to catch both of his companion´s wrists in a strong but gentle grip, his final resort to finally try and make her stop, to try and save himself from freezing to death, or being drowned maybe.

Whatever would occur first...

The pink haired warrior completely perplexed, she instantly froze under his touch.

„You´re going to kill me." the guardian whispered, carefully lowering his hands as slowly letting go of her arms, he took a tentive step closer, just to look into her eyes, a shy happy smile making it´s way onto his now wet features.

The pink haired female, she only gave him a quizzical stare.

His now completely wettened chest only a foot from her´s, with his dark hair sticking to his face and shoulders and his lower lip slightly trembling from the cold, Lightning suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to just lean in and close the distance between their bodies.

To just be close to him.

To maybe feel his arms around her body, just like when he´d held her back there in the Yaschas Massif.

Yes.

He´d been her anchor then.

Her only shore.

Had been the one to save her from the raging tides of Chaos, lurking right inside of her, ready to drown her.

The one to protect her from her desperate thoughts.

The one to keep the pain at bay.

The one who had been there for her.

Right when she had needed him most.

Why couldn´t he just become her personal safe haven again?!

Her safe haven forever...

„If it is that easy... Why don´t you have a go yourself?" the male in front of her just broke the silence. Motioning over at the clear dephts of the icy waters, he challengingly lifted one of his eyebrows.

„I...I don´t know." The pink haired female replied sounding somewhat insecure.

Caius only gave her one of his satified smirks telling her that this was exactly the kind of answer that he had expected.

„Okay. I´ll do it." She announced without thinking, instantly wiping that stupid smug expression from her companion´s face, before arrogantly raising her nose she stalked off to find herself a calmer area of the river were spotting her first unexpecting victim, she instantly moved in for an attack.

Her fingers slipping on the fish´s polished scales, the bright red speciman, it was gone again in the blink of an eye.

 _Damn._

The guardian to be only watching in amusement, it took the pink haired warrior another five retries before finally she gave up.

Her last unsucessful attempt at a catch sending her tumbling into the tigh deep water face first, causing her to be completely soaked now as well, it was with the stinging feeling of shattered pride that the timetraveller looked up again.

„You are doing it all wrong." the dark haired hunter said stifling a laugh, as offering her a hand to help her up, he somehow came to stand behind her.

„Here... you need to hold your hands like this..." he adviced, moving in to readjust her arms from right behind her, he bent down to push her open hands closer together.

„Take your time... Don´t hurry."

His palms resting somewhere on the back of her slightly shaking hands to keep them in proper position, Lightning felt the touch of his chest pressing against her back, felt the gentle tickle of his breath against the back of her neck. And she couldn´t help but feel a tiny shiver making it´s way up and down her spine as she felt the touch of her companion´s chin against the soft skin of her shoulder as he chose to gently rest his head on it.

The icy waters stinging her skin, making her toes and finger´s go numb already, it was the soothing touch of her companion´s palms resting on the back of her hands, slightly warming her, that made her keep herself together.

„You´ve got to be patient." he adviced, guiding her hands in order for the opening to face the current.

And really, there, a few tiny feet upstream, was another medium sized grey fish fighting it´s way against the current.

„You need to approach it from downstreams so you can catch it from behind." the guardian explained.

His calming low voice coming from somewhere next to her ear, for a brief tiny moment there Lightning almost thought she felt the touch of his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her neck, softly, barely there, as he so carefully instructed her.

But no...

She was imagining things again.

Or was she?

The thought of it alone was making her heart beat significantly faster in her chest.

„Okay now... On the count of three... Together."

Their hands were only inches from the poor small fish now.

But somehow Lightning had a hard time focusing on the task at hand.

„One."

The guardian´s upper body pressing into her back, with his face resting somewhere next to her head, she fought hard to not just give in to the almost overwhelming urge to just lean back and relax against his chest.

What was wrong with her today?!

She really needed to get herself together.

Bathing in those icy floods...

It was doing her no good it seemed.

„Two."

„Are you ready?"

The pink haired female only gave a small affirmative nod as excitedly holding her breath, she forced herself to focus on her poor gray prey, merrily swimming in the tigh deep waters right in front of her.

„Three!" the hunter yelled, and it was with united force that their hands just darted forward, readyly grabbing the unsuspecting specimen and successfully pulling it out of those icy waters.

The animal panickingly winding it´s slippery muscular body, if it weren´t for the guardian´s hands around her´s holding on tightly, it most likely would have managed to escape the second she had caught it.

„There you see?" the guardian said, as carefully letting go of her hands he made to take the thing by it´s tail and threw it out into the waiting basket before turning back to her to flash her a triumphant smile.

„That was close." he offered with a tiny chuckle.

„It almost managed to escape again!"

„Yeah." was the only answer the pink haired female managed, as her eyes now clued to her companion´s face once more, she made to intendly study his handsome features again.

Happy handsome features.

With tiny wrinkles forming at the corners of his lips and that tiny spot right underneath his eyes.

Yes...

This way she just liked him best.

 _Happy..._

He looked nothing like the Caius Ballad she had once known.

Nothing like him at all...

„Okay. Next one." the dedicated male just said, turning his attention back to the tigh deep waters, and another fish that he had spied somewhere in it´s murky dephts.

 _Happy..._

If only she could be happy too.

* * *

 _The only way to survive eternity is to be able to appreciate each moment._

\- Lauren Kate

* * *

It was only about half an hour later that they returned to the crowded streets of the small hunter´s village, the sun doing a good job at drying their clothes and hair, their moods were significantly better now then when they had begun their trip down to the river. And it was with cheerful expressions on both their faces that finally they entered the best visited part of the main road, right behind the main building, where always bursting full of people, the street turned into that small market place Lightning had visited on her first stroll around the village, back when Caius had first shown her around.

The purple haired hunter eagerly making his way over to a group of elderly men busily smoking their pipes, shoving that battered wicker basket now filled to the brim with fish right under their waiting noses, the pink haired warrior took her time making past the many stands, looking at the different goods offered on display.

Yes, the market square of the small hunter´s village, it was nothing compared to the busy streets of Paddra, but still, it had a fair smorgasbord of colours and smells, a wide assortment of things to choose from.

It was crazy really, the thought that she hadn´t come here to look at stuff more often.

Just to take a look around.

She had been so preoccupied with her own mission of returning to the future, that she somehow had completely forgotten to live her life here in the past, the present.

With the urge to try and find a way back home, to save the world she knew, somehow she hadn´t found the time to enjoy the world she was in now.

Weird how now that she had failed, suddenly she had all the time in the world.

More than she actually felt comfortable with.

 _Yes. She had failed..._

That persistent thought stirring something painful somewhere shoved deep down her broken heart persistently fighting it´s way back to the surface, she had a hard time pushing it back down to where surely it belonged.

Far away and out of sight.

No. She couldn´t risk to think about this now.

Couldn´t allow those memories to resurface.

Not here.

Where everybody else could see her.

Not here, where everyone would see her break.

Again.

Because yes. She wasn´t sure whether she´d be able to manage yet.

Couldn´t tell whether she was ready to confront her fate again.

Whether she was ready to face the truth again.

To even think of it.

No.

She probably wasn´t.

Swallowing her thoughts away, forcing herself to concentrate on the presence, to focus on the world around her, the pink haired warrior made her way over to one of the booths bursting with strange looking multicoloured fruit. Her attention snatching to a weird shaped pink one she´d actually never seen before even after her stay of several weeks in the Archylte Steppe, curiously she stepped nearer, just to take a closer look.

Picking it up in both her hands, she held the plump soft fruit, a gift of mutter nature, up to study it´s weird velvety surface.

Strange...

Although back in Cara´s back room she had been thinking about finally eding her journey only a few hours ago, although so utterly convinced that there was nothing out there anymore for her, now that she was here, she was suddenly amazed to see that somehow life went on, continued.

That although she had thought there was nothing left for her to do here anymore in the huge vastness of Gran Pulse, there were still so many things she hadn´t seen.

So many things she didn´t know.

So many things there to explore.

Just like that piece of fruit.

Yes.

Suddenly there were so many things she still wanted to do...

Wanted to experience.

Whether it was tasting a new to her unknown fruit, or travel Gran Pulse to visist the city of Haeri, or finding out what lay beyond the endless plains of the Archylte Steppe, beyond the Yaschas Massif and the Vallis Media.

Surely she could find something to pass her time here, right?

Surely there were still a lot of things to come...

She still had to find out how it felt like to grow old for example.

Or become a mother.

Or to fall in love...

Maybe she wasn´t ready to leave this world yet after all.

Maybe there was still something for her to do...

Still some good times waiting for her out there...

Maybe...

The sudden presence of another person´s chest bumping against her shoulderblades, it only took a tiny moment for her shock to pass, as slowly exhaling a deep drawn breath, Etro´s fallen champion relaxed her back against the sneaky male´s athletic thorso.

Yes, maybe there was still some reason for her to keep on breathing..

Some reason to stay...

 _Caius..._

It was the touch of an uncharacteristically rough hand sneaking it´s way under her shirt and all the way up to her chest, combined with the unexpected low growl of a voice that made her jump and pull away with a start.

And it were those few simple words so arrogantly thrown at her that forced a shudder down her spine:

„Now... Who do we have here..."

It was Caine Ballad´s voice.

It made the pink haired woman´s yaw drop and her hand release the plump pink fruit to undampedly smash into the ground.

And it was with utmost horror that she spun around to look into those familiar features, those cold purple eyes a few shades lighter, that chiseled jaw just a little more angular, so much like her companion´s but yet so different, it looked as if Caius were the softer version of his older brother, just like Serah might have seemed to be to her.

„Caine!" was all she managed, her voice coming out as a tiny whisper and her hands trembling in trepidation.

The ruthless male taking a step closer, he made the pink haired girl retreat backwards until she felt the solid surface of the fruit booth´s tabletop press into the small of her back in what could only be described as a very uncomfortable way.

Squeezed in between the tall man´s body and the table of the market stand, there really was nowhere for her to go.

Caine Ballad sucessfully had her cornered.

And it was with a devilish smirk on his face that he reached out to not so gently grab her chin, to force her to look up at him.

„Stop it!" the pink haired warrior spat at him, her still slightly puffy eyes narrowing dangerously as violently she shoved his hand away.

„Take your hands off me!"

It was no use.

It took only an instant for the stubborn male to take control of her again.

His hands wandering back to her body, to not exactly in a nice way take hold of both her sides, the sturdy man leaned closer to her face, his breath puffing against her skin, as probingly he stared into his newest victim´s eyes.

„Nobody´s telling me what to do... Especially not a… `Misfit´ like you..."

It was the last thing that he said before he felt the slap of the feisty ex soldier´s hand stinging on his sun burnt cheek.

It probably hadn´t been the best idea.

The angered male, he had her delicate tiny wrists brutally pinned to her sides in almost no time at all.

„You..." the older Ballad growled at her, his voice lowering threateningly, there was a soft pained whimper escaping from between her half closed lips as almost crushing the pink haired woman´s tiny wrists under his vicelike grip, Caine´s smirk twisted into a nasty smile.

Feeling the weak small female helplessly squirming underneath his fingers, he almost felt the urge to laugh.

Her attempts to wriggle free, they were pathetic at best.

Yes.

It was true.

With the powers of the Godess gone, there was only very little Lightning could have done to defend herself against the bulky hunter, as her heart pounding away fast in terror, she felt her fingers turn numb from her circulation cut off almost immediately.

 _Shit._

And it was only for a few short moments that the pain getting the better of her, thrashing around violently she tried to free herself from the hunter´s leader´s steely grip.

 _Please just release me..._

 _Please just let me go..._

She screamed at him inside her head.

But those were only thougts.

Silent prayers that she sent out into the ether, skywards.

Words she would certainly never allow herself to mutter, not even if her life depended on it.

Not in front of somebody like Caine.

No.

She´d rather die.

Or loose both her hands that was.

It took a few moments of struggle until finally her body went still again.

„So what now, huh?" the cruel male leaned forward to whisper into her ear once she managed to come down again.

„Going to defeat me with those tiny hands of yours?"

He gave a nasty chuckle.

„I don´t think so..."

Etro´s fallen champion, finding herself so utterly vulnurable and defenseless, with the hunter´s leader´s body pressing her against the booth, with his strong hands restraining her movements and his face so close to her´s, Lightning couldn´t help but feel another panic attack rising inside her small lean chest.

She needed to get herself out of this!

Needed to get away from him!

And fast!

Oh, how was she going to make it this time?

Her eyes panically darting all around the crowd, desperately searching for aid, for support, she couldn´t find a single spark of hope out there.

There were all those people.

All those faces.

All those eyes.

Watching.

Watching her.

Watching her predicament.

Her torment.

With their eyes darting up to Caine´s, they only for a tiny moment lingered on her tortured features, before seemingly completely unaffected, they made to continue with their business, with running their errands.

Not wasting her another glimpse.

Not even thinking about coming to her aid.

And it took her a few moments to realise, to understand why nobody out there would raise even a tiny finger to help her out, a few moments before finally she grasped the fact that of course, here Caine was the boss.

That he could do to her whatever he wanted.

And that this time she was screwed...

„What? The untameable beast suddenly lost it´s speach?" the burly hunter teased as brutally twisting the warrior´s already tortured wrists, he forced a stiffled cry of pain out of the female´s raspy throat.

„CAINE!"

It was Caius´ completely enraged voice that saved Etro´s former champion the excruciating pain of having her wrists crushed to bone meal.

 _Caius..._

She never had felt more relieved to hear his voice.

„Ah... My dear brother..." The older Ballad replied somewhat irritatedly as turning around to face the newcomer, he thankfully let go from the timetraveller´s aching forearms.

„Long time no see." Caine´s voice threateningly increasing in volume at the last part, he turned his head back to look at the pink haired woman now cowering right next to him, his lavender eyes sitting a tad bit more together than his brother´s did, they gave her a malicious twinkle, telling her that obviously he wasn´t done with her, before slowly he made to turn back to his younger sibling standing a few meters away, the basked with the fish he still had clutched in his now shaking hands, it was half empty.

„I heard she shot you." Lightning heard the purple haired leader of the hunters chuckle, as taking a few small steps into the guardian´s direction, he finally granted her a little space to breathe – Thanks Etro.

„What did you do Caius? Ask her to become your wife?" Caine teased, giving the guardian an evil smile, before turning back to the pink haired warrior, he let his eyes roam every inch of her slender body, eying her as if she were prey, before finally reaching her eyes, he opened his mouth to speak again.

„What are we going to do with him if not even a Cocoon whore like you will have him, huh?!" he said, mockingly raising his eyebrows at the pitifull excuse for a huntress next to him.

There was deadly silence from the crowd around and a soft shocked gasp coming from the pink haired warrior´s slightly parted lips.

 _Constants and variables._

No...

It wasn´t the fact that he had dared to insult her there in front of everybody.

It really wasn´t.

This was just stupid brabble.

And it wasn´t the way he had dared to look at her, crudely roaming her body as if she were his.

No, it was the fact that he had implied she was from Cocoon that made her blood turn to ice inside her very veins.

How could he have fathomed?!

How could he have found out?!

Caius must have talked!

Right?

 _Right?!_

Or maybe...

Maybe it was just obvious...

„What?! You think I´m dumb or something? Everyone can see you don´t belong here!" Caine spat at her, confirming her assumptions the moment he took in her completely perplexed expression, the way her eyes widened in unpleasent surprise.

„What are you here to do anyway... Are you sent here as a spy or did they just kick you out?!"

Those words thrown at her with utmost hate, with vengeance, Lightning´s heart terrifyedly skipped a beat as the sturdy man turned back to walk straight up to her again.

„Well.. it doesn´t matter. You are here now, right?" he just said mockingly, his hands coming up to caress her face, the way his calloused fingers made to trace her cheek, her jawline, she couldn´t find the words in her to describe how much she hated it.

The way he touched her.

The way he looked at her.

It made her stomach turn and her body cringe away until she felt her back bump into the wooden table of the booth again, her only way of escape blocked by a load of plump fresh fruit.

„I think it´s time we find a way for you to earn your place here..." The older Ballad said, raising one of his eyebrows suggestively as she felt his hands sneak downwards, ready to go for her backside again.

„CAINE!" Caius suddenly yelled over from his place in the middle of the street again, the fingers of his free hand curling into a fist, the other one gripping the basket so hard his knuckles were turning white, his temper rising with the speed of a intercontinental ballistic missile, he knew he wouldn´t be able to watch this much longer, wasn´t sure how long he´d be able to resist the urge to just rip his stupid brother´s face to pieces.

 _How was he supposed to watch this?!_

The older Ballad rewarding his brother with another derogatory glance, he had his attention back on the woman trembling there in front of him in almost no time at all.

The way those savage lavender eyes now piercied her own, menacingly, threateningly, like those of a killer would, right before he pounced...

Lightning had seen it.

Had seen it so often already.

That dangerous, predator glare...

Had seen it in his younger brother´s eyes about a gazillion times already.

Seeing it in Caine Ballad´s eyes, it was like flashback to the timeless realms.

 _Valhalla..._

 _Etro..._

 _Caius Ballad..._

 _The pain._

 _The fight._

 _The torment._

It only lasted for a few moments though, as a murderous smirk spreading on his face again, Caine Ballad transformed back into the leader of the hunters again.

„Clever little slut! Even she can tell that you are good for nothing!" he offered with a stupid laugh as not even bothering to turn back to look at his brother, his left hand closed around the pink haired female´s butt to squeeze.

„Right?"

It happened in the blink of an eye.

There was the low thud of a basket half filled with fish dropping to the ground and an unexpected grunt of pain as all of a sudden Caius Ballad had the older man seized by his shirt, pushing Caine away from his pink haired companion and landing a nasty hit square at his brother´s face.

 _Damn._

The gathered bystanders only staring in bewilderment, it took only a moment for the leader of the hunter´s to switch from startled into fighting mode. And only the fraction of a second for the both of them to land on the ground.

With a well aimed blow to his solar plexus, the older Ballad had his younger brother tumble to the ground in no time at all, the significantly stronger male crawling on top of him already, straddled beween his brother´s muscular tighs, Caius Ballad had no chance of escapse as one of his older sibling´s hands finding it´s way to his throat, readily cutting off his air supply, he felt the other ready to descend upon his face again and again in a vicious attack of fists he was going to have a hard time dodging there with both his arms.

It was only a few seconds into the fight, that Caine landed his second hit, this time to his brother´s unprotected cheek.

There was a low murmur running through the crowd and a shocked gasp coming from the pink haired warrior´s lips as her back still pressed against the table of the fruit booth, somehow completely rooted to the spot, she watched their brawl with huge blue eyes.

The purple haired guardian, he didn´t seem to care at all.

With the burning rage inside him fuelling his hasty actions, he used both of his still free hands to brutally attack his brother´s stupid face, hitting wherever he managed to land a blow, as regardless of the consequences, he violently lashed out at he man on top of him.

The crowd around them screaming and shouting, some of them excitingly leading them on, other´s begging for the two of them to stop, the precious fish lying scattered on the ground, abandoned now, Caius Ballad didn´t notice any of it as his fists lashing out into every direction he finally allowed his rage free reign.

And it felt good to finally let out his anger.

Felt good to finally make Caine pay.

And every time his fist impacted with his brother´s body, it felt like a weight was lifted from his heart, his soul, felt like finally after all this time he´d receive his hard earned revanche.

Yes...

Maybe he should have done this ages ago.

Slowly running out breath, beginning to feel light headed, with his brother´s left hand so determined to choke him, his vision blurring and his pulse now deafeningly pounding in his ears, the purple haired hunter with his back pressed to the stony ground of the main road, he didn´t seem to care at all.

Letting out the rage pent up inside of him for ages the infuriated male continued to hit his older brother as best and as hard as he could.

„Stop it you fool you can never beat me!" Caine spat at him from the bloody pulp that was his mouth, the older Ballad´s blood dripping down onto his cheek, his forehead, Caius Ballad didn´t even think about giving in, not even for a tiny second.

This time it was just too much.

This time Caine had gone too far.

This time Caine would pay.

There was a limit for the bullshit he was able to take from him, and this limit, well it had been crossed quite a while ago now.

No way was he going to let him win this.

No way was he going to give up.

Not until he´d pass out or die.

That much was for sure!

He didn´t have to keep it up much longer though.

Landing a final brutal hit at his older brother´s nose, it finally made the bigger man release his grip on his tortured neck, and seizing his opportunity, the guardian to be pushed himself up from the ground in an attempt to throw the other off, but with his still injured shoulder complaining painfully, it was only a second before Caine had him pinned back to the ground almost effortlessly.

Caius Ballad was not to be discouraged though, as gasping for breath, he continued to lash out at him, continued to struggle to free himself.

„Give up little brother! There is nothing you can do!" Caine advised, sounding out of breath himself.

His jaw hurting vehemently and nursing a heavy nosebleed himself, the leader of the hunters, he instantly received an angry growl and another hit to his face as his brother´s only answer.

It only served to aggravate him further.

Only served to make him snap.

„Fuck, what will it take for you to learn your place, Caius?!" Lightning heard the older Ballad bark, and she felt her heart skip a beat the second that he moved to pull out his long curved hunter´s knife, the second that he readied it for his attack.

„CAIUS!" the pink haired woman yelled in warning as darting forwards, her hand instinctively shooting to the grip of her gun, she found it meeting only thin air, as reaching down to check again she realised that of course it wasn´t there.

That of course it was still inside Cara´s hut.

Still fully cocked and safely resting on her bedside table.

 _Shit._

 _What was she going to do?!_

Her hand darting down to free her own slightly smaller and less vicious looking hunting knife, she almost instantly had it out and ready to come to her companion´s defence.

No matter how she was going to fight Caine off with that small knife of her´s, there was simply no way she was going to watch him cut the guardian into pieces!

No matter what might happen in the future, how much they´d fight there in Valhalla, he had been ready to start a fight to save her, now it was her turn to get him out of there.

And it was charging forward that she freed her knife, that she brought it up then, ready to attack.

There was no need to do so though.

The dark clad hunter managing to knock the weapon right out of his brother´s grip, the deadly piece of metal landing in the dirt a few meters away with a stealy clatter, it was only a second before the two of them got pulled apart.

Three of Caine´s faithful hunters pulling him away and up to his feet, Lightning watched the bloody mess of his face in disdain as spitting out some blood, he gave her what she took as a contemptious sneer and it was wiping the blood from his mashed up face that he shook off his three strong cronies to pick up his knife from the ground, before he turned back to his younger brother still lying on the ground.

„Pathetic." he spat at him.

„Maybe the two of you deserve each other."

His eyes darting over to the pink haired warrior, he gave her a final nasty smirk before turning around on his heels, the leader of the Archylte Steppe´s hunters turned to vanish in the crowd.

 _Finally..._

Breathing a sigh of releave, Lightning watched the man´s retreating back. Returning her knife back to where surely it belonged, back to the save spot of it´s leather holster, she slowly ran her hand over it´s ancient wooden grip, before finally she let her hand drop back to her side.

It was a good thing she didn´t have to use it there.

The thought of what they would have done to her, had she dared to raise her weapon against their precious leader, it was making the tiny hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Turning her attention back to the purple haired guardian slowly managing to sit up on the ground, panting for air as he drew fast shallow breaths, Lightning was down on her knees right next to him in a matter of seconds.

„Caius!"

Her beautiful eyes huge with concern, with worry, those light pale pools of blue, they instantly darted to her companion´s face, where she could tell he had received a few nasty hits, a few scratches on his cheeks and forehead the first marks of the fight to show, his lower lip bleeding form a tiny cut, there were a few drops of blood slowly making their way down his temple and his chin.

Whether they were Caine´s or his, well, it wasn´t exactly easy to tell.

„Shit! Caius are you okay?!" she blurted. One of her hands darting up instinctively to touch his shoulder in what was meant as a comforting gesture, the purple haired guardian pulling away instantly, it only made his right hand come up to clutch his injured shoulder in pain again.

„Damn! I´m sorry! I didn´t mean..." the woman stammered, mentally facepalming herself for her stupidity, her carelessness, as fighting for words she tried to find the right ones to appologize.

Her helpless stutter, it only made the hunter withdraw further.

„Caius..."

The purple haired man in front of her still trembling uncontrollably, still seething with rage, his hands balled into fists and his breathing ragged, seeming completely beside himself with fury, giving her best to put on a soothing voice, Lightning started another attempt at calming him.

„Shh.. It´s okay. It´s over... Calm down." she told him.

Reaching out for him again, she carfully started tracing soothing patterns on his upper arm as trying to establish eye contact, she used her other hand to gently brush some hair out of his face.

His face...

The man trying so hard now to control his anger, althought so enraged, so utterly infuriated, he still was nothing compared to the man she had met there in Valhalla, only a shadow of the monster that she knew he one day would become.

And it was for a brief moment there, that not for the first time, she wondered what would happen to transform him, what would happen to break this friendly caring individual she had come to get to know here in this long forgotten past.

What would happen to turn this man she´d come to call her companion, her friend even, into her worst of enemies.

Was it something she had done?

Something she would do?

Maybe...

Or maybe it were just those thousands of years of pain and grief and lonelyness that made him the monster she had met.

Anyway...

She wasn´t eager to find out.

Or was she?

„Caius breathe... Calm down, it´s over..." she whispered into his ear, as inching closer, she made to wipe off some of the blood with the tips of her right hand´s index finger.

„Just breathe..."

It helped.

A lot.

Her soothing voice and her gentle touches working wonders, although it did take him some time and some effort, after several minutes of deep relaxing breathing and with the remainders of the crowd that had gathered around them during the fight finally scattering, the purple haired guardian managed to come down again.

And it was accepting his companion´s waiting hand that slowly he managed to get up on his feet.

The both of them coming to stand facing each other, now that finally the rage was ebbing away, the purple haired guardian suddenly felt the pain delayed now coming back to hit him full force.

„Are you okay?" the pink haired warrior tried after granting him some time.

The purple haired man standing next to her, still slightly leaning on his companion´s arm for support, he just nodded slowly, unable to look into her eyes.

„Good... Because Caius... Shit... What have you been thinking!?" the pink haired woman´s voice suddenly raising in both pitch and volume, the concerned look on her face replaced by that irritated stern expression, the guardian to be completely perplexed, for the first few seconds into her rant, the poor male didn´t even realise what was going on.

„Caine was trying to provoke you! That reaction of yours was exactly what he had been going for! Attacking him like that, you did exactly what he wanted!" she just threw at him.

Now that she had made sure he was going to be okay, finally she felt her own anger bubbling over.

How could he be so stupid?!

Attacking the tribe´s leader like that, Caine, albeit his brother, he could have done Etro knows what to him, to the both of them!

„I really thought you were smarter than that!" she almost yelled at him.

Her choleric outburst, it shooed even the most persistent onlookers away.

„You can´t always let him provoke you like that!" she scolded him, before realising she was still standing in the middle of the market place, finally, she gave a resignated sigh.

She really needed to get herself together.

„You could have gotten injured..." she added much more quietly.

Her voice suddenly soft, almost fragile, it finally made the guardian to be look up at her with curious amethyst eyes.

The skin underneath his left eye already starting to bruise, Lightning could tell it was going to make for a nasty mark sometime soon.

A souvenir from his fight with Caine.

His only brother...

Maybe it wasn´t exactly something to be proud of...

The dark clad hunter he just shook his head.

„What should I have done then!? Nothing?! Let him harass you?! Let him hurt you?!" he suddenly blurted out of nowhere, his dark narrowed eyes accusing, or justifying maybe, the purple haired man felt his own anger returning with the speed of a train.

Lightning only stared.

She didn´t know what to say exactly.

Of course she had been thankful for this torture to end!

But still...

„You think I could have just watched this?! You really think that?!" the guardiant to be suddenly snapped.

The words coming out much more aggressive than he had intended, Caius Ballad instantly made to look away again.

No.

He wouldn´t let anybody treat her like that.

Not her.

No way.

„I can´t let him treat you like that... I just can´t! I don´t care what he was playing at. I just won´t have it..." he almost barked at her.

The pink haired warrior staring up at him with huge blue eyes, his gaze wandering down to her injured wrists, Caius hesitantly reached down to bring up both her arms, to take a closer look at the damage his brother had inflicted there.

The skin on her forearms and hands looking irritated and starting to turn nasty colours already, the dark clad hunter gave another angry sounding growl.

With the back of her hands resting in his palms and the tips of his thumbs coming up to caress the ultra sensitve skin of the insides of her brutally bruised wrists, it didn´t hurt, not even for a second.

The gentle touch only leaving behind a warm tingling sensation, soothing even, Lightning had to stifle a wistful whimper, the second he pulled away with a pained shake of his head.

„I should have intervened much earlier..." the man in front spoke up again. The way his voice was dripping with regret, it was making the pink haired female meet his gaze once more.

„I´ll never let anybody hurt you again. Ever. I promise." he told her, his right hand coming up to cup her cheek as for what had to be the hundredth time that day, Caius Ballad invaded her private space.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t exactly mind him there.

Not even for a tiny second.

With his thumb caressing the skin right underneath her eye, looking up at the man in front of her through her thick dark lashes, Etro´s fallen champion wondered what was going through that crazy head of his.

Did he really care for her that much?

Had he really developed feelings for her?

He...

 _Caius Ballad?!_

Yes he had.

She knew the answer.

Had known for quite some time now.

Still, the fact that the man who had one day been so eager to kill her, had just sworn to protect her...

Somehow it was hard to grasp.

Because yes.

She knew him.

Knew the monster.

The madman.

The abyss lurking there inside of him.

Knew who one day he would become.

 _What_ he would become...

Still the Caius of this time, he somehow had managed to sneak right past her guards, past her defenses, had managed to get under her skin and somehow overcome those walls she had erected there around her, had managed to sneak right into her heart.

Her thoughts.

Her dreams.

Somehow, now that he had forced his way inside, Lightning had a hard time locking him out again.

It was rather irksome to say the very least.

And so where his huge amethyst eyes now boring into her´s, and so was the gentle touch of his hand still resting at her cheek.

Irksome but also mesmerizing.

Mesmerising, just like those lips of his only inches from her own now.

Those lips slightly moving now as they gently formed her name.

 _Lightning..._

And suddenly she couldn´t help but to feel drawn to them, felt her heart give a hopeful tiny flutter and her eyes dart up to lock with his as slowly she felt the man in front of her lean in to close the distance between them once again.

And this time it was no surprise.

This time she knew exactly what was about to happen.

This time she came prepared.

And still, it was only the last second before their lips connected that Etro´s fallen champion managed to avert disaster.

Taking a tiny reluctant step backwards, it was only with utmost effort, that she managed to turn her face away from his, that somehow against all odds she managed to resist this devilish temptation.

No...

It couldn´t be.

It was wrong.

They were supposed to be enemies – as that tiny voice inside her head constantly reminded her.

Mortal enemies.

And nothing else.

No.

It just couldn´t be...

There was just no way this was going to happen.

Ever.

She needed to stay strong.

She needed to carry on.

Carry on with her mission.

Whatever her mission was these days...

Well, it definitely didn´t include making out with her arch enemy.

The guardian´s hand slowly letting go of her face, dropping down to uselessly dangle at his side, Caius Ballad let his head hang in deafeat, gave a hurt resignated sigh.

„I just don´t have any chance with you, do I?" he just said sadly.

It wasn´t really a question, more like a statement, a realisation.

His eyes still clued to her icy blue one´s, Etro´s fallen champion, completely rooted to the spot, she didn´t say a thing, just watched, as giving yet another soft defeated sigh, the man in front of her slowly let his gaze wander down to his feet.

She just didn´t know what to say.

Maybe there wasn´t anything to say anyway...

The dark clad hunter in front of her, tearing himself away from her with a disheartened look on his face, the pink haired timetraveller only watched his retreating back as bending down to pick up the scattered fish to put them back into their basket, without looking back at her even once, he made to take down main street.

And it was weird.

That strange feeling suddenly so unexpectedly stirring in her stomach.

That same foreign feeling suddenly rising in her chest and pulling at her heartstrings, making her chest constrict in a funny kind of pain.

And she knew that it was crazy.

But somehow letting him go hurt.

Somehow rejecting him stung.

Somehow turning him down felt wrong and twisted and bad.

Somehow hurting his feelings again, this time, it felt worse than ever.

Because yes.

It was not fair.

She was not being fair.

Caius deserved better.

He was a decent guy, a good person, who´d surely make a caring lover, a loving husband.

To someone.

Someday.

Not to her.

Not now.

Never.

Because no, no matter how much she wanted to the deny it, it just couldn´t, wouldn´t be.

How was it even possible Caius Ballad felt for her?

Hadn´t he always encountered her with utmost hate, with loathing?

Lightning still remembered it, remembered it as plain as day, what had happened in the future.

What had hapened in the past.

All those memories from Valhalla.

They were still there, were etched into her memory, were carved into her heart.

She still felt it.

The pain of having his sword thrust deep into her insides.

The feeling of that blade cutting her throat, still burning on her neck.

All those memories there from Valhalla.

They hadn´t changed.

Not even a tiny bit.

And Caius Ballad knew.

Knew they would be fighting.

Knew they would be enemies...

What in the whole large vastness of Gran Pulse made him think that they could be something else?!

Something else then just opponents.

Something more than just companions, something more than friends even.

How could he even for one second think that she´d be stupid enough to let this happen?

Stupid enough to just give in?!

Stupid...

Yeah she was so fucking stupid.

Letting things come that far...

Who knew how much Chaos she had created already?

Created with her reckless deeds.

How much more Chaos would her actions breed, should she choose to just remain here?

How much more Chaos was she going to release, trying to deny her feelings, trying to defy her destiny?

And more importantly...

How was she going to defy it in the first place?

How was she going to resist that pull mercilessly drawing them together?

How was she going to severe that bond fated to form between the two of them?

How was she going to resist Caius Ballad?

Well...

There were constants and variables.

Right?!

Or maybe she was just a fool.

A fool to even try...

* * *

 _Meeting you was fate._

 _Becoming your friend was a choice._

 _But falling in love with you was beyond my control._

\- Origin Unknown

* * *

It was already late afternoon, evening even, as letting her gaze glide over the sea of dry high grass, Etro´s fallen champion wandered the Archylte Steppe in search for her purple haired companion.

She hadn´t seen a glimpse of Caius ever since they had parted after the incidence at the market place and the fact of not having him around, of not knowing where he was and whether he was actually okay, it made her feel uneasy, queasy, anxious even, especially after a day like this, especially after everything that had happened.

It wasn´t exactly that she missed him...

No of course not!

It was just that...

 _Damn._

Alright she missed him.

Didn´t like him leaving her like that.

Didn´t like them parting like that.

Didn´t like the way he was evading her again.

It almost felt like back when she had shot him.

Back when they hadn´t been on speaking terms.

Thinking about it, she wasn´t exactly sure they were now.

Not after she had turned him down again.

Maybe finally he had enough from her?

Well, this way or the other...

She definitely felt that it was her turn to make the first move this time, her turn to appologize again.

And she would gladly do so, if only she would find him, in this vast plain open land.

Well, she didn´t have to search for long it seemed as making her way up that familiar gentle slope, that single ancient oak tree towering somewhere on the top, she already had a feeling she would find him there up on that blasted hill he loved so much.

His sanctuary, as she knew he called it.

Of course he was there, she should have guessed all along.

Where else would he be...

„There you are." she greeted once she reached him, slightly out of breath from walking.

It was leaning with his back against one of those smooth small rocks, with their surface still warm from the last rays of the sun, that he sat there on the ground, pensively staring into the distance, watching the sun go down, a giant ball of fire, melting into the tops of the Yaschas Massif in the distance and dipping those high plateaus and mountain tops into a burning sea of liquid gold.

The voice of the woman he had come to love, ripping him out of his musings, slowly turning his head to face her, the purple haired guardian, he didn´t look surprised to see her.

Well...

He had probably heard her approaching from miles away with those bad dear stalking skills of hers.

„I already guessed I´d find you here." she said as tentatively crouching down in the grass beside him she made her first attempt at starting a conversation.

There was no response from his side whatsoever.

Well, she had already expected this.

It was just so him...

„How are you feeling?" she added carefully, her voice sounding slightly concerned.

It finally made him look up at her.

Look at her, but not say anything.

Anything at all.

He didn´t need to.

Lightning knew exactly what he felt.

His beautiful amethyst eyes speaking volumes, she could see pain and confusion there in those raging depths of purple.

Yes Caius Ballad was confused.

Confused to say the very least.

What was she doing here with him?

Why had she come out to look for him?

Why did she pretend to care in the first place?

Yes. _Pretend_ to care.

Because surely she didn´t really care for him.

Didn´t care for him at all.

Or she wouldn´t have treated him like she had.

Would never have treated him the way she been treating him form the beginning.

Wouldn´t have shot him, wouldn´t have hit him, wouldn´t have hurt him, like she somehow seemed to enjoy doing so much.

Yes.

Maybe she had been merely playing with him.

Had been playing with his feelings.

Had used him to help her out whenever she had needed him as her protector, as her teacher, as her guide.

Her friend.

Had abused his hospitality, his kindness, his compassion, his sympathy, his feelings...

No, this woman from Cocoon, this woman from the future, she didn´t care for him even a tiny bit, or did she?

Why was she here then?

What could it possibly be that she needed from him this time?

Caius couldn´t fathom.

Could it really be?

Was there even the tiniest possibility that maybe she really had just come to look after him?

Somehow Caius couldn´t tell.

The sky above on fire with a brilliant sunset, a dark satturated blue, streaked with bursts of oranges and magentas and purples, and the songs of the birds sitting in the nearby oak tree, balm for their tortured souls, the pink haired warrior´s face looming about a foot away from his, continuing to just look up at her, unblinking, completely motionless, Caius Ballad waited for an explanation, waited for at least some kind of appology.

It never came.

„Let me have a look..." she said instead and it was only a second later that he felt the fingers of her right hand somewhere at his jaw, felt the touch of her thumb gently brushing against his slightly swollen lower lip as torturingly slowly she ran her small delicate finger over to the tiny cut he had received there in the fight that afternoon.

The tip of her finger lingering there for a few tiny precious moments, Caius Ballad, suddenly unable to draw even a single tiny breath, he couldn´t help but close his eyes.

Oh, why was she doing this to him...

Why was she teasing him like that?

If she didn´t want him anyway, why couldn´t she just let him go?

With his forehead wrinkled in confusion, his charismatic eyes shut for once, Lightning took her time admiring the way those bursts of sunlight blinking throught the nearby leaves painted the marble skin of his face in soft alluring shadows.

Why did he have to be so fucking handsome...

Why did she have to feel so drawn to him...

 _Him?!_

Her thumb lingering at his lips a little longer, finally after what seemed like half an eternity, she slowly made to pull away.

Those dark armethyst eyes curiously blinking up at her the moment that she drew away, a turmoil of confusion, of pain, of hope, raging there inside of them, feeling the almost irresistable urge to lean in and kiss him, Lightning gave a small sad smile before finally she turned away again.

What was wrong with her today?

She really had to get herself together.

This was getting ridiculous.

Dangerous even.

She needn´t loose control like this...

Needn´t give in to that fluttery warm sensation stirring there inside her chest, threatening to spread into her entire body whenever she felt that insufferable male´s touch somewhere on her alabaster skin.

The purple haired guardian´s brow furrowing in confusion, not offering him even a single tiny word of explanation, the pink haired female let her body drop down into the grass right next to him, settled down to watch the sundown, just like he had done before, staring off into the distance, deeply lost in thought.

Caius Ballad didn´t know what to think.

The way she looked at him, the way she touched him, the way she behaved around him, it made him feel as if she cared.

Yes.

He could tell the pink haired female from the future felt something for him.

She really did.

But for some strange kind of reason she didn´t want to let it show.

The dark clad hunter mentally shook his head.

What purpose was there in hiding one´s feelings?

He couldn´t understand.

There was no reason for her to hide them, to ban them.

To act as if she didn´t have them.

She knew he liked her.

She had to.

He had made that more than obvious on plenty of occasions.

She knew he wouldn´t reject her.

Not in a million years.

What was she afraid of then?

Why couldn´t she allow them?

Why couldn´t she allow herself to be happy?

Why couldn´t she just let him in...

The pink haired female readjusting her legs to settle into a more comfortable position, her arm brushing against his for a tiny moment, she only gave a resignated huff.

„Caius... Thank you." she said, finally turning her head to face him.

„Huh?" Those unexpected words of hers, hitting him completely out of the blue, they made him look up again at once.

„Thank you for saving me from Caine... I... The way I treated you... It... It wasn´t right... I´m sorry..." she continued somewhat shyly.

The dark clad male right next to her, he could do nothing but stare at her in bewilderment.

It took him a few moments to find his speech again, before briefly shaking his head to clear his mind, he opened his mouth to speak again.

„It´s okay." he said, unable to keep the surprise from leaking into his voice.

„You´re probably right. I shouldn´t let myself get worked up that easily."

„Of course you shouldn´t." she agreed. Her eyes narrowing slightly, for a tiny moment there it was again, that stern expression, creeping back into her pretty features.

It was gone in the blink of an eye though.

„Still... I actually was glad you where there to get me out of there..." she admitted somewhat reluctantly.

„I just... When Caine pulled out that knife..." her words trailing off at the last part, the pink haired female shaking her head, she instantly made to look away again.

Caius Ballad only raised his eyebrows.

„What...?! You were worried about me?" he asked somewhat incredulously, staring holes now into the side of his companion´s pretty head.

„Uhm... Yes..." she finally confessed.

The guardian to be, he only gave a tiny snort.

„Strange words coming from the woman who tried to kill me with her future weapon..." he mused somewhat reproachfully, his eyes readily burning into her´s the moment she chose to turn her face back towards him.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t find it in herself to say something in return, feeling guilty and somehow caught, she chose to just avert her gaze again instead.

„Caine´s my brother, Lightning. He wouldn´t have me killed or anything. He just likes showing that he´s still the boss." the pensive hunter said after some time of silence.

Well, Etro´s former champion, she didn´t feel so sure.

„Maybe..." was all she felt fit to say.

Feeling her companion´s gaze burning holes somewhere into the sensitive skin of the side of her face, for some strange reason she couldn´t bring herself to look up at him this time.

Maybe Caius was right after all.

Maybe she had been overreacting there.

Maybe there had been no need to yell at him, to scold him.

Maybe there had been no need for her to even take out that blasted knife of her´s.

Or maybe there had...

„I was more worried about your wrists than about Caine´s knife actually..." the guardian suddenly said as curiously raising one of his eybrows he reached over to gently take her hands again, to bring them closer to his face, just to take a proper look at them.

The gentle touch of his fingertips warm and soothing on her badly bruised skin making her look up once more, she instantly found her gaze darting up to her companion´s eyes once again.

„He´s such a stupid jerk! I can´t believe he actually did all that to you" the hunter added somewhat angrily.

Sensing her companion´s temper rise again, Lightning felt the sudden urge to get him to calm down again.

„It´s nothing really. They are alright." she assured him. Her beautiful pule blue eyes twinkling up at him sincere, he could only stare at her in disbelieve.

The way he furrowed his eyebrows, making his forehead crease in tiny wrinkles, it instantly told her he didn´t agree with what she had just said there.

Not even a tiny bt.

„Okay... They might be a little sore now..." she admitted. „But he did no lasting damage there, I guess."

„He´d better not..." The man next to her growled. His eyes narrowing dangerously, his expression turned to one of anger once again.

She watched the transformation with a strange weak smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

It was cute the way he acted all protective around her...

„Hey, don´t you dare pull that grumpy face on me all day." she said somewhat mockingly, making the guardian to be look up in surprise.

„It doesn´t suit you." she informed, the small weak smile turning into something bigger, something more sincere, something that lit her haunted features and made her eyes twinkle beautifully in the last rays of the autumn sun.

It came unexpected.

That smile of hers.

But was a pleasant surprise for a change.

Something he definitely needed to see more often.

That smile...

Caius Ballad returned it eagerly, the handsome smile he gave her instantly chasing the menacing shadows from Valhalla off his friendly face, taking with it every memory of their battle that had been threatening to resurface again.

„I´m sorry." he said giving a tiny snort.

In only made her smile intensify.

Looking down at her companion´s hands, she realised he was still holding her injured wrists, was still caressing their insides with his thumbs, the touch of his hands already familiar, comforting on her now bruised skin.

It was crazy, the way she liked them there.

Crazy, the way she wanted them to stay like that.

„You know the first time I saw you in that clearing, I never would have thought I was going to get myself a beating from my own brother because of you." the purple haired hunter chuckled.

„I never would have dreamed that you would become that important to me." he admitted, finally letting go of her hands.

For some strange reason, that statement of his, it was making her blush.

„For anybody to become that important to me actually..."

There was a bit of silence.

Pleasant silence.

Not that dreaded awkward one.

A few minutes of peace inmidst those raging storms that somehow had become their realities.

„You should let Cara take a look at that." the caring male adviced when he realised she wasn´t going to say anything.

„I´m sure she could get you something to at least mend the pain."

Etro´s fallen champion gave an appreciative nod.

Somehow she was glad he had just changed the topic.

Still.

That pensive gaze now clued on her´s...

Those deep dark depths of purple staring back at her...

Yes.

Lightning knew Caius had developed feelings for her.

Like really deep feelings.

And she had seen the signs.

Dangerous signs.

The way he looked at her as if the world stood still, as if for the short few moments their eyes locked nothing around them existed, nothing around them mattered, counted.

It made her pulse speed up, it made her forget how to breathe, made her heart burn with ache, with longing, whenever he turned that dark amethyst eyes on her.

Yes it was true.

Caius Ballad was falling in love with her.

Or maybe he already had.

Maybe this was partly her fault.

Maybe she had been sending out the wrong signals all along.

Staying at the village, she might have given him false hopes.

Maybe she should have left right from the beginning...

Should have left a long time ago.

Shouldn´t have stayed here with him in that small hunter´s village somehwere in the no man´s land of the Archylte Steppe...

Why wasn´t she leaving now?

She could be up and ready to go in a matter of hours, could reach the city of Haerii in a matter of days, for sure.

Why didn´t she just pack her things and leave.

Leave before it was too late?

Leaving...

Looking up into the guardian´s warm kind eyes, somehow she wasn´t sure she wanted to anymore.

Wasn´t sure she would be able to, even if she tried.

Because maybe...

Just maybe...

She was falling for him too.

* * *

 _Those eyes of yours could swallow stars_

 _galaxies_

 _and universes._

 _What hope did I ever have?_

\- Origin Unknown

* * *

The sun was going down in a breathtaking spectacle of light and colours and it was only a few minutes after the glowing ball of fire had sunken beneath the tops of it´s mountainous sea, that the night arrived, claiming every inch of the now darkening sky, a few hollow streaks of pink and purple gracing the horizon, they were the last reminders of the once bright autumn day.

With the pale light radiating off Cocoon, tinging the world around them in it´s eery silver sheen again, the plains of the Archylte Steppe cooling down immediately, the second the last ray of sunlight vanished behind the towering tops of the Yaschas Massif, our two hunters there, they didn´t really seem to care, as still sitting in the dry high grass in their place on the top of the hill, they worldlessly enjoyed the way the world around them went quiet.

The way the birds stopped chirping in the nearby tree...

The way the rustling of those waist high culms just seemed to cease...

The way even the gentle breeze that constantly seemed to be blowing out there on those endless grasslands seemed to ease, just as if it was about to go off to sleep with the rest of the Steppe around them.

The darkness of the night immersing the vast grassy plains into it´s cool dark shadows, with the sun now gone, and the earth underneath her body turning cold already, Etro´s fallen champion, still sitting in the grass right next to him, it was almost instinctively that she moved closer to her male companion.

Their arms and legs touching now, the dark clad hunter didn´t seem to mind her there, didn´t seem to mind the body contact.

Yes it was getting cold out there.

But somehow Lightning didn´t care.

With her companion´s body next to her to warm her, feeling his body heat bleeding into her through their gently touching arms and legs, somehow she wasn´t feeling cold at all as she let her gaze wander those amazing nightskies, those many tiny stars, merrily twinkling back at her.

How long had they been out there already?

Lightning couldn´t remember.

But well.

It didn´t really matter.

Not as long as they were there together.

„Look a shooting star!" her purple haired comrade suddenly exclaimed, one of his hands shooting up to point it at the sky above, Lightning only wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion.

„There! Another!" he said, excitedly staring up at the spectacle above.

„Make a wish!" he encouraged as carefully shifting his weight he turned his head to look at her.

„Huh?" the pink haired female only contered stupidly as obviously confused, she made to sit up straight, presenting her male companion with a rather bewildered stare of her´s.

What was he talking about?

„What, you´ve never seen a shooting star?!" the guardian realised, somewhat taken aback.

Lightning only shook her head.

No.

Of course she hadn´t.

Had never even heard of it in fact.

How was she supposed to know?

The once dutiful member of the Guardian Corps had spent almost all of her life in Cocoon after all.

Locked inside a golden cage, there had been no stars to gaze, no nightskies and no sundowns. Only the lights of far away cities, only the silhuette of Eden looming in the distance.

„Look! There are even more of them!"

The pink haired female, curiousity taking the better of her, following her companion´s gaze upwards, this time she could see it too.

A bursting streak of light, blazing across the sky, it lasted only briefly before finally it´d fade away.

Just like Lightning.

Her namesake.

They existed only for a short amount of time.

Flaring up brightly, just to burn down just as quickly.

Gone in a matter of milliseconds.

To Etro´s fallen champion, they were both beautiful and somehow sad alike.

„They are nice but... What are they...?" she murmured pensively.

The guardian to be relaxing his back against the smooth hard surface of the rock again, he slowly drew a deep contemplative breath.

„The legends say that occassionally, the Godess Etro, out of curiousity, even boredom maybe, peers down at Gran Pulse from between the spheres above. And sometimes, if you are lucky, a star slips out of the gap she creates, becoming visible as those falling, shooting starts." he explained somewhat dreamily.

It only made the pink haired warrior emit one of her incredulous snorts.

 _Yeah... Sure._

She had already expected something like that.

„Since the goddess is already looking at us at such a time, she tends to be more receptive to any wishes that we make." the guardian went on, ignoring his companion´s disbelieving glances.

„So anytime you see a shooting star, it´s the best opportunity to have your wish come true." he reveiled, flashing his pink haired companion a small insecure smile.

„And you believe that?!" Lightning only shook her head.

Yes.

It was true of course.

Sometimes Etro did watch, and when she did, her gate would open.

But what would come there from the other side...

It would be nothing like those pretty stars up there.

Nothing good and certainly no dreams fulfilled.

No.

Nothing of that kind would ever come from it.

Nothing but war and destruction and pain.

Nothing but Chaos.

Caius Ballad, completely oblivious to the path the pretty female´s thoughts had wandered off to, he only shrugged his broad lean shoulders.

„Maybe..." he answered pensively, his dark armethyst gaze wandering back to his companion´s face, he gave her one of those adorable half smiles before finally he chose to speak again.

„Hey... A guy´s allowed to dream right?" he contered playfully once he took in her completely baffled expression.

„Yeah... Sure..." she gave in.

Well, he could believe in whatever he wanted she guessed.

It was none of her buisness after all.

„Why don´t you try it yourself?" the guardian suggested.

„Uhm... Okay... So what am I supposed to wish for?" she asked when she caught the purple haired male continuing to look at her expectantly.

„Whatever you want." he was ready to encourage.

 _Hmm..._

Racking her mind to come up with something useful, something that didn´t include her time travel, the future, Serah or her journey, trying hard to find something even remotely realistic, something a little more related to the present actually, Lightning couldn´t help but come up empty.

It was crazy really, the fact that she couldn´t come up with a single realistic wish...

It was weird somehow.

And sad.

But somehow there was nothing she actually wanted for herself.

The only thing she dearly wished for was for this nightmare to finally end.

For this torment to be over.

For her to just wake up with a normal life and figure out that all of this was nothing but some kind of strange comatic dream.

Well, it wouldn´t come true anytime soon it seemed.

„What is your wish?" she suddnely inquired curiously.

She didn´t know what made her say it.

Somehow the words had left her mouth without her even realising.

The purple haired male right next to her throwing her a contemplative glance, instead of giving any answer, he tentatively reached down to take her hand once more, to carefully interlace their fingers.

That sudden gesture of affection making her heart give another tiny flutter, this time, miraculously, Lightning didn´t even feel the urge to pull away.

Looking up into those dark amethyst eyes, glistening like jewels under the pale shimmer of Cocoon, loosing herself in those mesmerizing dephts of purple, the soldier form the future, for some strange inexplicable reason she just agreed to let him hold her hand.

The guardian looking down at their fingers now entwined, he only gave a soft tentative sigh.

„One ´s not supposed to tell... Or otherwise the wish won´t come true." he said somewhat pensively, rewarding her with one of his weak smiles.

The way his thumb was tracing tiny patterns on the back of her hand, the meaningful look he gave her, suddenly the intensity of his stare it was so much more than she could take.

And it was averting her gaze for a tiny little minute that finally she inched a little closer, that she allowed her upper body to lean against his upper arm and relaxed her head against his waiting shoulder, making the guardian´s heart suddenly beat significantly faster, and his breathing stop for just a few tiny seconds.

Her slender delicate fingers giving his a tiny squeeze, blinking up at him from underneath her pinkish bangs, her cool blue eyes, two pale blue crystals, mysteriously glinting in the darkness, they were like galaxies of their own to him, twinkling with a million tiny stars.

* * *

 _Damn, your eyes._

* * *

It was already late into the night when the two of them made their way back to the village.

With the later hours of the night there also came a cool breeze, blowing in the dry high culms of grass and tousling their hair, bringing with it a handfull of dark thick clouds, the first heralds to announce the storm that surely was about to come.

The two of them slipping back through the huge wooden gates and quietly taking down the main street, with the rest of the village already sound asleep, there were only the glowing embers of the nearby fires burnt down already, that indicated the existence of people living there in the small hunter´s village.

Making their way down to the main building, with their fingers still entwined, Lightning followed her companion past the market place now abandoned and over to that small path that led down to where she knew now lay Caius Ballad´s hut.

She didn´t mind the detour.

She didn´t feel like returning to Cara´s hut at all.

Her hand...

Caius Ballad hadn´t let go of it.

Not even for a second.

Had held on to it ever since he´d found the courage to interlace his fingers with her´s and somehow Lightning didn´t mind, found that she enjoyed it even, the feeling of his skin on her´s, the way his strong hand looked around her´s giving her a feeling of protection, of safety.

It was strange...

The tought of feeling protected by the only person that would really cause her harm.

By that person who´d become her killer.

If he could only protect her from himself...

Hastily shoving those disturbing thoughts away, Lightning forced herself to focus on the presence once again.

Following her companion down the small pebbly path, the fact that they weren´t going back to Cara´s hut not bothering her in the slightest, she just focused on the feeling of his warm strong hand around her´s.

Was there still a spark of hope for them?

Could she allow herself to stay here with Caius...

Just for a little while.

Stay here with him in the Archylte Steppe...

The two of them.

Together?

How would it feel like to be more than just his companion, just his friend?

How would it feel like to just lean in and kiss him?

How would it feel like to share a bed with him, to wake up next to him, to fall asleep beside him?

How would it feel like if she gave all this a chance?

Could she allow herself to even think about this?

Could she allow herself to even consider this?

What kind of consequences would await her, if she really had the guts to give this a try?

What exactly would happen to the timeline?

Yeul had said there was no way she could possibly change the outcome.

That actually, no matter what she did, things would eventually lead right back to where they had started...

Back to where everything had once begun.

But where was this exactly.

And how was this even possible?

Her and Caius being friends, being more than friends even...

These were things that clearly interfered with history as she knew it.

If Caius Ballad was in love with her, what reason was there for him to fight her, to even kill her in the future?

No that definitely sounded nothing like the timeline she once knew...

Oh what kind of horrors would await her should she dare to give in to this?

What kind of paradoxes would she create?

 _Constants and variables..._

Lightning didn´t know.

Was it even worth a try?

Maybe...

Or maybe not.

Somehow she wasn´t sure.

Reaching the tiny clearing right infront the guardian´s hut, with the glowing embers of a burnt down fire, the remainders from last dinner, offering their cozy warmth, the two of them silently settled down in front of it.

Something didn´t feel quite right.

The awkward way her purple haired companion was playing with her fingers now, the fact that ever since they had returned to the village, Caius´ mood had seemed to darken considerabely, the fact that the naturally rather talkative male was being uncharacteristically quiet, it didn´t escape the pink haired warrior´s notice.

She could´t help but wonder what was on his mind.

Now that she even let him hold her hand, she thought that it would make him happy.

At least a tiny bit.

But somehow her actions seemed to have provoked the opposite instead.

His behaviour, it made no sense.

No sense at all.

Unsure of what to say, the pink haired warrior, she just patiently watched him, let him play with her fingers until finally she couldn´t bear it anymore.

„Caius... What is it?" she just broke the silence.

The quiet man right next to her, he only gave a tiny shrug.

„Come on. I can tell there´s something bothering you..." she tried persistently.

She really had no idea what this could be about.

Whatever it was though, she dearly hoped it wasn´t about that stupid kiss again.

The purple haired guardian giving a devastated sigh, taking his time tracing the knuckles of every single of her fingers with his slightly larger thumb, it took quite a while until finally he felt ready to look up at her again.

„Yeul..." he finally revealed.

That single name there coming from his lips, for Lightning it came like a blow, suddenly and unexpected, made her emit a tiny barely audible gasp.

She had been prepared for a lot of things...

Anything, but certainly not this.

„Back there at Paddra... Back after you pushed me away and vanished in the crowd, I went back inside to talk to her..." the guardian continued.

His voice was soft and his eyes suddenly insecure.

That revelation of his, it only made his companion´s eyes dilate and her mouth gape open in some sort of weird apprehension.

Yes...

It was already there.

That bad taste of foreboding somewhere at the back of her tongue.

 _Yeul..._

Caius Ballad had been talking to Yeul.

Of course.

How could she have been so preoccupied she hadn´t noticed...

Suddenly there were a million questions, racing through her tortured mind.

What had the seeress told him?

What did Caius Ballad know?!

And more importantly: Why hadn´t he brought this up earlier?

Was he keeping something from her?

Something important?

„It was weird really." the guardian went on.

„She didn´t tell me anything I came to ask. Nothing at all. She said she had been `dying´ to speak to me instead... She... She asked me to become her guardian..." his voice trailing off at the last part, those last few words made him look up, his handsome face suddenly haunted, indecisive.

The pink haired warrior´s eyes going huge, to an extend that one might fear that they´d be popping out of their soccets - that underlying sadness creeping it´s way onto her features, it didn´t go unnoticed by the attentive hunter.

 _Already?_

 _Yeul had asked him to become her guardian already?!_

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t know what she had been thinking exactly.

Of course she knew it had to happen someday.

Knew there was no way around.

Still, she somehow had figured there would still be time, that it wouldn´t happen until some far away time in the future, a safe long distance of years away.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

And definitely not several days ago!

Why in Etro´s name did it have to happen already?!

„Are you going to accept?"

It was a stupid question, really.

She already knew the answer of course.

Knew what was about to happen.

Knew what inevitably would ensue.

Her eyes trained downwars to the ground, she didn´t find it in her to even look at him.

„It´s not that easy..." the guardian explained, releasing an exhausted tiny huff.

„I would have to proove myself worthy in a duel... Assuming I´d win... Well it´s actually an honour."

Yes an _honour._

And what an honour it was.

To become the one destined to destroy the world...

It would be an honour indeed.

„I guess.." the pink haired woman managed to choke out, her gaze still trained to her feet, her hand still resting safely inside his, the purple haired guardian, he settled back on tracing tiny circles on the sensitive back of her hand.

Risking a glimpse into his companion´s pale blue eyes he found them drowning in a sea of sadness.

„You already know what will happen." he suddenly said.

It wasn´t a question.

Felt more like stating a fact.

And the realisation of it, the realisation that it was true and the understanding of what that truth implied, it instantly sent a cold shiver running down Caius Ballad´s spine, made the blood in his veins turn to ice.

„Yes." the timetraveller admitted.

Mustering the courage to briefly look at him, she only gave a tiny nod, before hastily she made to look away again.

He wouldn´t let her.

Extending his hand to gently cup her face, he carefully let his fingers trace her jawline, all the way down to her chin, where careful not to hurt her, he made her look up again.

The tiny intimate gesture making her skin erupt in goosebumps, Etro´s fallen champion had no choice but to obediently meet his gaze.

„Why is this saddening you so much?" the purple haired hunter asked tentatively. His dark armethyst eyes clued to her´s, Lighning only gave a frustrated tiny shake of her head.

„Why can´t you tell me?!" the confused male pressed. The words coming out maybe a tad bit more aggressive than he had intended, that behaviour of his, it only made her turn away from him, made her remove her hand from inside his, breaking the hard earned body contact.

„I can´t tell you, Caius Ballad, because if I did, it would unmistakebaly alter the timeline! And I can´t risk that..." she almost snapped at him.

It was a lie of course.

She knew that it would happen anyway.

Still there was no way she was going to tell him.

No way she was going to fill him in.

The dark clad hunter´s eyes studying the mystery of a woman in front of him, he only watched as her almost desperate expression shifted into one of her carefully controlled masks again.

It had no effect on him though.

He could see right through it now, right through that marble facade she always tried to put up, could see the underlying pain beneath it, could see that even talking about this pained her, pained her a lot.

And he saw how much effort it took her, how hard she had to fight to not break down in tears again just like she had that night back in the Yaschas Massif.

And he couldn´t bear to look at her.

To watch this any longer.

No.

A decision had to be made...

Now.

„I´ll go straight back to Yeul and quit." the guardian suddenly said out of the blue.

Making to get up, he was on his feet in no time and ready to take down the main road again.

„NO!"

The pink haired female up on her legs as well in the blink of an eye, she caught up with him in what could have been only seconds. Reaching out with one of her hands to quickly catch his shoulder, it was a little out of breath, that she made him turn around to face her.

„No..." she said again in a much more gentle tone. Fighting to control her voice this time, it was looking up at him with big pleading eyes that grabbing his right hand in both of her´s, she pulled him back towards her.

„Please..." she breathed, giving his hand a desperate tiny squeeze.

Caius didn´t get it, didn´t understand.

Not even in the slightest.

„There´s no way I´m going to leave you here!" he just insisted.

And it was true.

There was no way he was going to join the seeress, no way he was going to move to Paddra.

No way he was going to leave her behind here.

 _Her..._

The only one who mattered.

No way was he going to leave her for a silly little girl, spiritual leader of the Farseers or not.

But the pink haired warrier in front of him, she only shook her head.

„You have to become her guardian Caius. You have to!" she suddenly urged.

„You will..."

The indecisive male sighing in frustration, he somehow couldn´t think of anything to say.

What was it that she wanted him to do exactly?!

That woman standing right in front of him, why was she telling him to leave when everything else, her eyes, her facial expression, her gestures were begging him to stay?

Because yes.

She wanted him to stay.

He could sense it, clearly see it.

Why was she trying to push him away like that?

„Caius promise me!" she was almost begging now, or maybe she was, as she panickingly tugged on his hand to try and make him look at her.

„Promise me you will become Yeul´s guardian!"

Her voice suddenly rising in pitch, her breathing suddenly irregular and panicky, Caius Ballad still couldn´t bring himself to look at her.

She didn´t care.

Lunging forward she suddenly grabbed his face, forcing him to meet her gaze.

„Promise me!" she almost yelled at him.

Her beautiful pale blue eyes fearful now, Caius Ballad had a hard time resisting the urge to just wrap her in his arms again.

She was loosing control again...

Was dangerously close again.

Felt those raging tides of Chaos reaching out for her again.

„Lightning... I..."

She had the front of his shirt grabbed threateningly and her eyes narrowed at him dangerously in the blink of an eye. Had the dark soft fabric clutched inside her fists, was giving it a violent rather brutal yank.

„Promise me!" the ex soldier growled, her eyes narrowed into tiny menacing slits, Caius Ballad completely perplexed at her sudden outburst, he couldn´t do much else but give in.

„Alright! Alright... I promise." he said in a somewhat timid voice, as taking a tiny step away from her, he brought up both his hands in an universal gesture of surrender.

The feisty female though, she didn´t seem eager to give him a break yet.

„Say it!" She urged, as ignoring his capitulation, she gave his shirt another sudden tug.

„Say what?!" the guardian contered in confusion.

„That you will become Yeul´s guardian!" She spat at him.

„Okay... Okay..." He said appeacingly, as trying to difuse the situation, he carefully made to disentangle his shirt from the woman´s clawing fingers.

„I promise you, that I will become Yeul´s guardian..." he finally whispered somewhat defeatedly.

The pink haired female mercifully letting go from his shirt, looking up at him for a tiny moment longer, the dark clad hunter found those beautiful pale blue eyes swimming in tears again.

Seeing her like this once more, it instantly made him want to hug her, made him want to protect her, made him wish he somehow could take that pain away, away from the pretty female´s features.

Reaching out to put his arms on both her shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting way, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but try and press some further.

„Lightning... What is going to happen?! Why does this sadden you so much?!"

He needed to ask her.

Needed to know.

He had a right to know after all.

She just had to tell him.

She couldn´t leave him in the dark forever.

And certainly not now that finally they had this conversation...

The pink haired time traveller though, she didn´t seem to share his opinion.

Not even in the slightest.

Shaking her head in denial, she just made to avert her gaze.

Yes.

Of course she wanted him to stay.

Wanted him to quit.

To just stay here in the Archylte Steppe.

To just not become the seeress´ guardian.

She wanted it.

Wanted it badly.

She knew exactly how it would destroy him.

How it would destroy everything.

But it was no use.

She just had to let him go.

He had to become Yeul´s guardian.

He would.

It had already happened.

Or she wouldn´t be here in the first place.

She knew that.

Knew all of that.

Knew that there was no way to prevent any of it.

But why...

Why did it have to happen this early?!

Why did it have to happen so soon?!

Their eyes locked in one of those intense stares again, the pink haired warrior´s eyes unwavering, narrowing just the slightest, looking at his confused face, she realised she felt pity there.

Pity for him.

Pity for the purple haired male standing there in front of her.

Yes...

Whatever he would do in the future, whatever he had done in her past, he didn´t deserve to become what she knew he was about to become.

The monster she had encountered in Valhalla...

There had been nothing left of the Caius she had met here, had come to get to know here in this godforsaken place.

The man she had met there in the future, only little more that a shadow, there had been nothing left inside of him, nothing but hatred and pain and grief.

He had been nothing but an empty shell...

How in Etro´s name was she supposed to watch?!

Watch him become that monster?

Watch him descend the path that would lead him all the way to Valhalla, would lead to the both of them becoming mortal enemies?

How was she supposed to just let it happen?

How was she supposed to let him become the man that one day would destroy the world?

She couldn´t.

She just couldn´t.

And the second that that thought occured to her, she instantly knew that it was true.

She couldnt.

Wouldn´t be able to, not in a thousand years.

She knew this was bad.

Really bad.

And what made it even worse was the fact that he didn´t even want to.

He didn´t want to become Yeul´s guardian in the first place.

He had said it.

And she could see it, sense it, feel it, in almost everything he did.

In the way talked, in the way he moved, in the way he fucking looked at her!

He wanted to stay.

Wanted to stay here with her.

And it was her...

Had been her all along.

She was the one who had to do it.

She was the one to give him that final push, to send him down that path that would inevitable lead to the destruction of the world.

Of space and time.

Of all things.

It was her...

Her who made him the man he would become.

Her who had to set everything into motion.

Her who had to put her signature at the bottom of the whole world´s death warrant.

Of Serah´s.

Of Snow´s.

Of everyone´s.

And the realisation of it was killing her.

Was kiling her inside.

Shattering her already broken heart into a thousand tiny pieces, a million tiny fragments, shards, a little more with every single breath she took.

No she couldn´t watch this.

Couldn´t do this any longer.

It was her presence here that had triggered all those horrible events and she shuddered to think about what would happen should she stay there any longer.

Shuddered to think of how much further her actions would corrupt the timeline.

Of how much further she would twist it.

Yes.

She needed a way out of this.

A way to escape this...

This nightmare she had gotten herself lost inside.

„Lightning?"

The guardian´s voice making her snap out of her desperate thoughts, the once fierce ex soldier, she instantly had her gaze dart upwards to meet those worried amethyst eyes again.

Her icy pools of blue, suddenly panicky, desperate again, Caius Ballad felt his heart give a painful tiny twinge.

He didn´t like the way this topic had upset her.

Not at all.

The way his words affected her.

Why did she want him to become the seeress´guardian?

Why was this so important to her?

Why was it making her so terribly sad?

Caius Ballad couldn´t fathom.

Looking at the pretty female´s pained sad features, for a tiny moment there, the purple haired guardian contemplated hugging her again, but thinking twice, he finally decided against it.

She might not want him to.

Especially not now that he had gotten her worked up again.

No...

He´d rather not risk it.

Slowly letting go of her shoulders, he carefully made to take her hand instead.

She had allowed him to hold it before...

„It´s okay... We don´t have to talk about it." he whispered, giving the small limp hand inside his a soothing squeeze.

„I won´t push you." he promised in his low calming voice, before giving her a tiny gentle tug, he brought both their hands up to take a look at them.

The pink haired woman staring up at him with huge blue eyes, Caius Ballad´s gaze wandering to their interwoven fingers, his companion´s hand so much smaller compared to his, he couldn´t help but think it looked so good, the way it rested there inside his own.

„If you think you shouldn´t tell me, than maybe I´m really better off not knowing..."

The understanding male giving his opposite a small assuring smile, it was only a moment later that Lightning felt to soft touch of his lips pressing against the back of her hand, felt them brush against her knuckles as he was tracing tiny kisses there, every single one of them leaving a warm tingling sensation behind, his eyes never ever left hers, not even for a tiny second.

Lightning didn´t move.

Couldn´t move it fact.

Yes sure...

There was something inside of her telling her, screaming at her, to pull away, but somehow...

With her heart suddenly beating wildly in her ribcage and that strange fluttery sensation spreading in her chest again, with the soft touch of her companion´s lips against her skin so infinitely pleasant, soothing...

Somehow she just couldn´t bring herself to draw away.

„I trust you." she felt the guardian whisper against the back of her hand, his lips lingering on her skin for just a little longer, she instantly knew the same applied to her.

Knew that she trusted him as well...

Trusted him with her life even.

Him...

Caius Ballad...

The man who´d kill her.

Had killed her there so many times...

Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

To just be close to him.

To feel his skin underneath her fingers, to feel his lips there on her own.

And she knew it was crazy and selfish and insane...

And she didn´t even want to begin to think about how much that would actually affect the timeline...

But still...

If it didn´t matter what she did...

Why shouldn´t she just give in?

Give in to her emotions?

Her longings?

Her needs?

Give in to that invisible cord, inevitable drawing them towards each other.

Why couldn´t she allow herself a few moments of bliss, of paradise...

Their gazes locked in anticipation, in some weird kind of crazy stare, their faces only inches from another, Etro´s fallen champion, engaged in rough internal battle, feeling so infinitely torn, suddenly so infinitely tired of fighting, of trying to control her thoughts, it was exhaling a small exhausted sigh, that she just chose to close her eyes.

Who was this man?!

This man she had met here in this long forgotten past...

The man from Valhalla, the guardian?

Or just Caius?

Some random hunter.

Just an ordinary man.

Some guy.

 _Her´s..._

Suddenly she didn´t know anymore.

Wasn´t sure anymore.

It was there inside of him, that madman, that monster, slumbering inside of him somewhere deep down his still mortal heart.

She had seen it.

Had seen glimpses of it.

Had been on the receiving end of his wrath more often than she could remember...

Why was he going to do all this to her...

How could he possibly do all those terrible things to her...

How could he fight her and hurt her and kill her...

How ?!

 _Oh Serah... What am I doing?!_

She needed this to stop.

Needed to get out of there.

To leave.

She should never have come back here to the village in the first place.

 _Ever!_

She knew that now.

Understood it now.

Saw it now.

And it was with a soft pained whimper that she tore herself away, pulling her hand free from inside her companion´s gentle grasp, before just brushing past him, she darted off into the wilderness.

* * *

 _You don´t understand what I am doing now,_

 _but someday you will._

 _-_ John 13:7

* * *

 _ **Just breathe.**_

* * *

So guys... Finally you reached the end of this terribly long chap. I hope you liked at least some part of it.

I´m really sorry if there are a lot of spelling/grammar errors in the last few scenes. I really got incredibly tired when doing my final proofread. Don´t worry I will come back to read through this later. I just didn´t want to keep this chapter from you any longer.

So about support...

I received a lot of nice reviews on the last chap. Thank you guys! It really meant a lot to me!

I really appreciate every single one of them and I keep reading through them everytime I feel discouraged writing on a tricky part of the next chap.

Always!

At this point I have to give special thanks again to my two most faithful readers:

XxShyxX again of course. You can thank her for the fishing scene;)

And Alju who helped me out a lot those past few days.

Huge thanks to the both of you!

I don´t think I would have been able to write this chap without any of you.

You really keep me going.

I really hope to receive some feedback on this chap as well, although I can understand if you guys are some kind of angry with me for putting you on wait so long. Please forgive me!

It would make me so happy to read from you.

Also, I actually have good news concerning update Intervalls becauuuuse... I have most parts of the remaining chapters already finished^^

So fortunately there won´t be any awfully long waits out there for you anymore;)

You can expect an update about every two weeks now.

And yes... we are nearing the ending with big fast strides.

So please stay tuned for the next part.

* * *

 **HUGE THANKS FOR READING! YOU ARE AWESOME!**


	12. Chapter XI: Moonlit Paths

Hey there, thank you for still following this story.

From the little feedback I received from you guys, I take it most of you were rather disappointed by the last chap, which somehow I understand, but sadly I can´t promise this one to be any better XD.

Anyway at least I managed to update on time this time.^^

So try not to be too angry with me for the ending of this chap. Please... ;)

P.S.: We are nearing the end of this Story with big fast strides... (Did I already say that?)

I hope you **enjoy** those few remaining chaps.

* * *

(Passarella Death Squad – Just like sleep - for the flashback)

(The Acid – Basic Instinct - for the rest. Btw you really should check out this song even if you don´t plan to listen to it while reading. It is an incredibly beautiful one;) )

* * *

 **CHAPTER XI: MOONLIT PATHS**

 _I fell in love the way you fall asleep._

 _Slowly._

 _And then all at once._

\- John Greene

* * *

There was silence in the timeless realms.

No birds to chirp, no crickets to chirr, no living soul to make even the tinyest of sounds.

The air was crisp and lifeless.

No soft breeze to tousle those pinkish strands of hair and no waves to ripple the darkened oceans of eternity, as suddenly she woke up there on their crystal shores.

Lightning still remembered it.

Her first encounter with Caius Ballad.

Remembered everything about it.

That first time she had seen him.

That first time she had felt his wrath.

That very first moment, he had come to stand there right in front of her for the very first time.

That long purplish hair.

Untameable.

That pale bullet proof skin.

Marble.

Those dark drawn eyes.

Haunted.

That dark intense stare.

Wild.

Savage.

Brutal.

And that wicked arrogant smirk.

Merciless.

Cruel.

Unforgiving.

And she still remembered it, remembered it as if it were only yesterday, the way the sight of him had made her shiver, had caused a shutter to run down her spine.

Had made her knees go week.

Had made her whole body freeze in fear.

Because yes, maybe she had sensed it then, had known back then already, that actually she´d never even dream to stand a chance against that lean tall man, against that monster, who´s path she had been cursed to cross.

And she would never forget the way he had looked at her, that first time she dared to meet his purplish gaze.

The spark of recognision there in those dark pained haunted eyes.

Back then she hadn´t grasped it, hadn´t understood, hadn´t taken it for what it was, but now finally she knew.

Knew exactly what it was, what it had been about.

Knew that finally after a thousand years of waiting, the once proud hunter was excited to lay eyes upon here for the very first time in her life, for what had to be the thousandth time in his very own.

Because yes.

Caius Ballad had already known her, had known exactly who she was.

Had been dying to see her, dreading to see her even, for a very long time then.

Had been trembling in fear of what he knew there was about to come, of what he knew he´d have to do.

Yes, he´d known.

Had known her.

Had known her all along.

Had been watching her, monitoring her every move.

From his place there in Valhalla.

Ever since the day she had been born.

Had been waiting for this very moment, that finally they´d meet again.

That finally she´d land there on those timeless shores.

And Lightning still remembered it.

Remembered how arriving in that dreadful place for the very first time, for the first few decades of her eternal stay, she had roamed the abandoned streets of Valhalla in search of another living thing in vain.

Remembered how coming freshly form the fall of Cocoon, from her final battle against Barthandelus and from waking from her crystal stasis, so suddenly ripped from her reunion with her sister Serah, she had been cut out of that happy ending she had fought so hard to make come true, just to be dragged away to that personal hell of her´s before she even knew what happened.

And she still remembered how stranded on the dreary shores of time itself, she had come around under a dark desolate sky, confusion and fear rising in her stomach the second that she opened her eyes to take in her unfamiliar surroundings.

Where was she?

Where was everybody?

What kind of strange place was this?

What had happened?

These were only some of those million questions that were chasing themselves inside her head as carefully she made to get up and take a look around, before slowly setting herself into motion, she left the beach to enter the once crowded city´s deserted streets.

Those dark abandoned roads, paved with the pain and fear of what had to be a million souls...

Those high concrete buildings, empty now for ages...

Yes, she had been walking the timeless realms for almost an eternity.

Hundreds of lifetimes without encountering a single sign of life.

And it was with the drowning feeling of a sinking heart that she passed those high deserted buildings, passed their cool blank stone walls, as all her hope slowly draining from her body, she ventured further into that giant maze of skyscrapers.

What was this strange place exactly?

Was this even real?

Was this a dream?

Had she died there after the final battle of Cocoon?

Was this the life beyond?

Why was she alone here?

Where were all those people who once had to have lived there in those many buildings?

Had they all died?

Where they all gone?

Or where they still here somewhere?

Had there been a war raging in those dark broad streets?

Lightning could only guess.

Some of the buildings looking as though they were going to crumble any second, the idea of a war causing all that destruction, it definitely didn´t seem too far off.

Reaching a street that seemed to be in particulary bad condition, with the pavement littered with debries and most of the houses´ higher storeys having already collapsed what had to be a million years ago, the tough warrior decided to turn left, decided to follow the path of destruction.

What had been going on here?

Taking down that road with fast anxious strides, the state of destruction to both her sides growing more and more severe with every single step she took, the pink haired soldier soon lost count of how many intersections she had crossed, of how many turns she had taken exactly, wasn´t sure she´d even be able to trace her way back to the beach if for some unknown reason the need should arise, until then, after what seemed like an eternity of walking, finally she found herself infront what had to be the heart of that once proud majestic city.

A vast empty plaza stretching out in front of here, there suddenly it stood, that giant skyhigh building, probably the only thing in that godforsaken place that wasn´t damaged, a dark intimidating palace, it lay in wait in front of her, seemingly completely untouched by the curse of decay that seemed to have befallen the rest of the city.

That tall stony building probably several hundred meters high, with those dark turrets looming from above immersed in an eerie greenish glow, that building, it definitely made the most prominent structure in the whole place´s skyline.

Was this her final destination?

Was this where she was supposed to go?

She somehow had a feeling she already knew the answer...

And it was hesitating only for a moment that stepping into the shadows of those towering turrets, she made to cross that vast dead plaza spreading out in front of it.

Maybe she was going to find some clues inside...

The heels of her combat boots, clicking on the pavement with every tiny step she took, that high clacking sound they made the only noise to tear the silence, echoing off the dark high walls of the nearby buildings, the pink haired soldier somehow couldn´t shake it off.

The uncanny feeling of being watched.

Of somebody´s gaze, being trained on the back of her head.

A pair of eyes, prickling the skin on the back of her neck like a thousand needles...

Where there people hiding there, somewhere behind those thick dark walls?

Turning to check the vicinity with those hawk like eyes of her´s, Lightning realized she couldn´t see a thing.

Maybe it was just her imagination playing tricks on her?

She wasn´t sure.

Her soldier instincs...

They had never let her down before.

Or had they?

Well...

Whatever was lurking out there in those haunting shadows.

She somehow had the feeling it was everything but human.

Anyway...

She needed to stay a alert.

Needed to stay prepared.

And it was with an uncomfortable feeling of forboding in her intestines that she made to climb the steps leading up to the heavy ornamated entrance, that she made to pull open those heavy ancient doors.

They gave way with a deafening creak, reverberating in the silence like a bomb being dropped in an empty church.

 _Great..._

Now definitely everybody knew that she was here.

Given that there was anyone there to hear her in the first place...

Well, she had a feeling she´d find out sometime soon.

There was no turning back now anyway.

Entering the almost pitch black darkness of the building´s foyer, the pink haired warrior couldn´t help but feel that sensation of being watched intensify.

Yes, somebody was there.

She knew it, sensed it.

Felt it with every fibre of her soldier being.

Her right hand coming down to rest at Blaze Edge´s hilt, she only gave a tiny nervous sigh.

No...

If they had any intention to attack her, they would probably have done so already.

 _Right?_

Unless they were trying to lure her into some kind of ambush that was.

Well, if this really was the case, she´d surely meet them soon enough...

And it was swallowing her fear that the slender female made to climb the stairs on the other end of the room leading up to a set of narrow corridors.

A strange dark pull urging her to go in further.

An invisible cord that kept dragging her onwards.

Dragging her to her doom...

She couldn´t help but to give in to it, to follow.

What else was there that she could do?

She had no idea what she was here for anyway.

No idea how to find her way back.

No idea where she even was.

She needed to trust her insincts now, needed to follow her intuition this time.

There was nothing else to guide her there.

That scarce amount of light, barely passing through the palace´s dingy windows...

It was hardly enough for her to make out her own feet.

Anyway...

She made throught those mazelike corridors without meeting any trace of resistance whatsoever and it wasn´t until climbing another set of stairs, seemingly a thousand meter´s high, that finally she found the walls around her widen, that suddenly she found herself in a huge temple like hall spreading there infront of her.

She stopped there a few feet into the vast high room, the sight of what she saw there making her stop dead in her tracks.

Because suddenly there it sat.

Illuminated by a cool eery greenish glow.

A huge high throne obviously empty now.

It seemed to be made completely out of crystal.

Yes...

She had reached the temple of the godess.

Had finally found what she´d later learn was Etro´s throne.

Just like she had been destined to do ever since the day that she´d been born.

And it was unbeknowest to what she had found there, of where she even was, anaware of what her discovery would hold for her, that taking a few steps foreward coming to stand right in front of it, she tentatively reached out to touch it, reached out to feel it´s smooth but cold surface, as she looked up at it in awe.

Who had been sitting there in this throne, occupying it´s crystal seat once this place was still intact?

Was it a king, an emperor, a God?

Her gaze trailing upwards to the heavily ornamented ceiling, it was all off a sudden that she perceived movement somewhere behind her in the dark corners of the room.

 _Fuck!_

A lurking shadow creeping up from somewhere behind her, it was spinning around in a swirl of dust, that the pink haired warrior readied her faithful weapon for one of her deadly attacks.

But there was no opponent there to face.

Just the empty vastness of the hall spreading there in front of her.

 _What the..._

„Who is there?!" she called into the emptiness of the vast high room.

Her words coming out sounding a lot more menacing than she had hoped for, they echoed off the tall stone walls like growling thunder from a mountainridge.

There was no answer however.

Only the deafening silence of the timeless realms.

She hadn´t exactly expected anything else.

Still, Lightning was a trained soldier, a former member of the Guardian Corps and a very skilled one on top of it. And she definitely wasn´t one to be fooled easily.

No.

She was not alone.

There was somebody hiding there, somebody watching her.

Somebody stalking her, ever since she got here.

She was sure of it.

And it was finally loosing her patience that she brought her gunblade into gunmode, aiming it at the exact dark corner she expected her stalker to hide in.

„Get out of there! I know you´re there!" She called out to the lurking shadows right in front of her.

But there came no reaction whatsoever.

Just empty darkness sitting in the corner of the room...

Then suddenly there it was again.

Movement.

At the leftmost corner of her eyes.

As she sensed someone sneak up somehwere from behind.

„Show yourself!" she snarled as turning around again, she faced nothing but thin air once more.

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing but darkness.

Emptyness.

And silence.

So much silence...

Then the sound of crumbling gravel right behind her.

It made her slowly turn in circles as her palms slowly getting wet with sweat, suddenly growing nervous, she carefully took to scanning her surroundings.

„Coward!" the pink haired female growled into the emptyness.

„Show yourself now and I´ll let you live..." she snarled at the darkest cornor of the room where the sudden sound of movement indicated the presence of another life form.

Finally, she had them pinned.

 _Good._

„Show yourself now!" she demanded threateningly again, dangerously squinting her eyes at the shadows lying there in front of her.

And suddenly there it was.

The low echoing sound of footsteps.

And she just froze dead in her tracks, as suddenly out of the darkest shadows of the hall, she found the silhuette of a man appearing there in front of her.

The mysterious stranger, dressed in a weird black and purple body armour taking another step forward, there was a tiny gasp escaping her throat as finally he stepped into the light.

Those dark fierce eyes, those marble features...

She had the nagging feeling she had seen them before...

Or had she?

Their eyes meeting for a tiny second, there was that tiny spark of recognition, of remembrance, etched into those dark cold killer eyes.

It was gone in the blink of an eye though.

Replaced by an ancient and impassive mask.

And the pink haired warrior, so young and naive then, oblivious to what was about to come, oblivious to her inferiority, of her vulnerability, she had felt relieved.

So infinitely relieved to find him, of not being alone anymore, of not being the only one to find themself´s trapped there in that dreary cursed place.

And it was taking a tentative step towards this strange tall man, that carefully she let herself relax, that cautiously she made to lower her guard.

„Who are you?" she asked sounding slightly breathless as stepping closer to that man who had so unexpectedly materialized out of thin air, she lowered her weapon in a pacifying manner, reached out with her still free hand in some kind of universal greeting gesture.

There was no reason for the two of them to fight each other right?

She had no intention to do him any harm, surely he didn´t have one either.

The man infront of her giving a defeated sounding sigh, for a tiny second there he only stared at her, a flash of grief, of pain, of disbelieve, of sad acknowledgment clouding his killer eyes.

It was gone in the blink of an eye though.

And replaced by an ugly predatory glint.

A low sarcastic sounding chuckle forcing it´s way out of his throat, he only shook his head in a denying sort of way before looking up at her with those dead haunted eyes again, he opened his mouth to speak to her for the very first time ever since she could remember.

„I´m your worst of nightmares..." he said in his charismatic husky voice, as suddenly pulling out his greatsword, he darted foreward in one of his most vicious attacks.

„WINGS OF DARKEST NIGHT!"

* * *

 _ **And I am nothing but a raging ocean trapped inside a single raindrop.**_

 _ **Trapped inside eternity.**_

* * *

No matter how hard the pink haired warrior tried to bite back her tears, it was no use.

They kept coming anyways.

They made her eyes burn and blurred her vision, before wettening her thick dark lashes, they flooded the dam of her eyelids and poured onto her slightly reddened cheeks, leaving warm salty trails behind as they made their way down her alabaster skin.

Etro´s fallen champion, for once she let them flow.

Let them flow freely.

There was nobody there to see them anyway.

Nobody there to watch her silent torture, as forcing her wobbly legs to keep on walking, she focused on the task of not accidentally slipping and tumbling to the ground any second, as determinedly she set one foot in front of the other, one small step at a time.

The night was stormy and the wind was cold.

A thick black layer of heavy clouds obscuring the heavens, the stars, Cocoon, there were only those glaring bursts of lightning tearing the darkness of the ancient nightsky to lead her the way.

Raw.

Violent.

Brutal.

Lightning...

Her namesake.

 _It flashes bright, then fades away._

 _It can´t protect._

 _It only destroys._

Just like herself...

There was nothing good it´d ever be able to create.

 _Kuwabara, kuwabara._

The rolling growls of thunder accompanying those raging surges of power ripping the darkened clouds, they stifled the warrior´s sobs, muted her laboured desperate breaths, as with her boots wading through the mud, the heavy rainfall turning the normally dry and well trodden paths of the nearby forests into a dangerous swamp, there was an icy storm whipping her face, despite the cover of the nearby trees.

Shivering in her meager borrowed clothes, Lightning wished nothing more that to posess the powers of the weather changing device the hunters of the Archylte Steppe would aquire some indistinct time into the future, when Sereah and Noel would visit the tribe to help and fight against the Faeryl.

 _Serah and Noel..._

Whenever it was that they would come to land here in the Archylte Steppe, Caius Ballad wouldn´t be there anymore to meet them.

And neither would she.

No.

She was leaving.

Was leaving this place forever.

And this time for real...

This time she wouldn´t look back.

Not even once.

She needed to forget about it.

About everything.

The village.

The Steppe.

Caius.

Especially Caius!

 _Caius..._

She had sensed his resolve crumble there.

Knew he didn´t want to become Yeul´s guardian anymore.

Could sense it, feel it, had seen it.

 _Damn!_

He had even told her so!

And yes...

She knew exactly how much the guardian to be changing his mind would actually effect, no cripple, the timeline.

Knew things were nothing like they were supposed to be.

And she knew it...

Knew it was because of her.

She was the one who had set the destruction of the timeline into motion, she was the one who further twisted it.

 _Yes..._

There was only one way to set things straight again and it was taking herself out of the equation.

It definitely felt like the right thing to do.

 _Okay..._

Maybe she shouldn´t have left the village in a hurry, shouldn´t have made out into the wilderness as unprepared as she was.

Without proper clothing...

Without any supplies...

She probably wasn´t even going to make it to the next settlement alive.

But there was no use whining now.

It didn´t matter anymore.

The only thing that was important now was for her to get as much distance as possible between herself and that damn village.

And fast.

To get away from the Archylte Steppe.

And most importantly to get away from Caius Ballad.

Away from the pain that was waiting there with him.

And it was stumbling over sticks and stones, slipping in the muddy puddles lurking on those once dry pathways, that barely looking where she was going anymore, Etro´s fallen champion hurried deeper into those nightly woods, deeper into the wilderness of that foreign planet called Gran Pulse.

And yes, those actions of her´s they might seem desperate...

And maybe they were.

Maybe she was desperate.

Maybe she was afraid.

Afraid of her feelings.

Afraid of what she might do should she stay with Caius Ballad any longer.

Because no, she wasn´t in her right mind anymore, wasn´t in her right mind around him.

Was slowly loosing her sanity, any form of control whenever he was there around her.

Was unable to do as she knew she should, unable to stay, unable to watch that man become the guardian, the L´Cie, the manifestation of Chaos, the monster.

To push him into the right direction even.

To push him away from her.

To push him to his doom.

No.

She couldn´t.

And she wouldn´t.

No she wouldn´t be there to watch him leave for Yeul, for Paddra.

Wouldn´t be there once the time arrived.

Wouldn´t be there to force him down that path she knew he was destined to take.

No.

She´d rather set off for the unknown.

It didn´t matter where she went anyway.

It didn´t matter what happened to her anymore.

Her job here was done.

She had lead him to Yeul.

That was all she had been sent back here to do.

And being the stupid brick that she was, oblivious to what her actions would ensue, she had done so.

Had set into motion that terrible chain of events that would lead to her stranding right here in that same past in the first place...

She realised she couldn´t change that now, couldn´t have changed it from the very beginning.

Because yes her presence here, it was proof enough that he would do it.

That he would still go and leave for Paddra.

That he would still come after her there in Valhalla.

That he would still become the one destined to destroy the timeline.

The one destined to kill her.

Her memories still there as clear as ever, they were proof enough that nothing important had changed yet.

That albeit everything he´d said, everything they´d been through together, still he´d do her in.

Just like that...

And the thought of it alone, it pained her.

It pained her almost beyond what she could bear.

Because yes, she felt something.

She felt something for him...

She really did.

She already was what had to be a good twenty miles away from the village, had ventured deep into those dark thick forests, when finally she reached a small opening, a tiny glade inmidst that giant maze of trees.

Another streak of lightning blazing over the nightsky, for a tiny second it illuminated the path in front of her to show a small muddy clearing.

A very familiar small muddy clearing...

With the ground now swampy, soaked with water instead of blooming with grass and multicoloured field flowers, Lightning almost didn´t recognize it. That exact same space where she had been born into this godforsaken past.

 _Why?_

Why did she have to land exactly here?

Here of all places?!

She didn´t understand.

Almost couldn´t believe it.

And the memory of it alone it made her shudder, made her freeze dead inside her tracks, almost made her turn around and take another path, until finally she pulled herself together and forced herself to cross that place.

How she had come around there after the total deprivation of the void beyond...

Totally overwhelmed by her surrounding.

How she had felt so infinitely relieved to have something around her.

To feel, to hear, to breathe.

And how she had almost died there.

Ripped to shreds by a bunch of hungry beasts.

If it hadn´t been for _him_...

And it was exactly there in the middle of that stupid clearing, that suddenly for some strange reason, she looked up into the sky.

That she saw the clouds part for a tiny minute, revealing the nightsky beyond to let the pale cold moonlight of Cocoon cast the path before her into eerie shadows.

And it was right there in that very second, that she heard the soft low snap of twigs behind her, felt the presence of another person hiding somewhere in the shadows of those nearby trees.

Just like she had felt it there, all that time ago back there in Valhalla.

And suddenly it felt like ice running down her skin, her spine.

That certain knowledge, that crazy realisation, that she was being stalked again.

That she was being followed.

That finally after all that time, she had been hunted down once more.

„Running away again?"

The dinstictively low husky voice of Caius Ballad´s suddenly called after her.

In the darkness of that stormy night, it sounded stern, dead, intimidating.

The heart in her chest stopping beating for a tiny moment, the pink haired warrior completely caught off guard, for a few seconds she just stood there frozen dead inside her tracks.

No idea of what to do, of what to say, of what to think, she only closed her eyes in silent prayer.

Not _him_.

Please, not _him._

How did he find her this time?

Why did he have to come after her in the first place?

Why did he have to make this so difficult, so hard for her?

Etro´s fallen champion, keeping her eyes shut tight, she didn´t even turn around to face him.

She didn´t respond.

She felt that she couldn´t, couldn´t bear to look at him.

Not after everything she had done.

After everything she´d done to him.

Was doing to him right now.

After everything he did to her...

Had done to her a countless times already.

„Stay..." she heard his voice again.

Soft.

Full of emotion this time.

Closer now.

He was catching up with her.

Was going to reach her soon

 _Shit._

And suddenly he was chasing her again.

Was stalking her like prey.

Was playing with her.

Was making her feel like one of those poor hunted does he´d pursue to take down for lunch, for dinner.

Just like he had back in Valhalla.

And it was the thought of it alone, the resurfacing memory, the dread, that caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end, caused her pulse to speed up panickingly inside her veins.

The way he used to hunt her down, to fight her...

The way he´d have her shiver with fear, with dread, the moment he´d step out of the shadows of yet another one of the timeless city´s dark narrow alleyways.

Because somehow...

Somehow she had always known she´d never stood a chance against him...

Hadn´t she?

 _Hadn´t she?_

But, No!

She wouldn´t let him do this.

She wouldn´t let him do this to her any longer.

Not anymore.

Never again.

The way his raw power, his ruthlessness had scared her, had scared her back there in the timeless realms...

All those times.

Over and over again.

She wasn´t going to let it happen this time.

She wasn´t going to give him so much power over her.

Not anymore.

No.

Never again.

She wasn´t going to run away anymore.

Wasn´t going to run away from her death, her fate, from him.

This time, for the first time since she got here, for the first time in her life, she would face her destiny.

She would face Caius Ballad, her worst of enemies.

And this time there was no hiding behind facades, no cat and mouse games anymore.

This time it would end.

Once and for ever.

This way or the other.

That stupid ridiculous cherade.

That cold war.

If she was condemmned to loose it anyway, she might as well loose it right now.

No.

No running away anymore...

And finally mustering the courage to turn around, she found him standing there between the trees only a few meters away from her.

A dark shadow, lurking somewhere at the treeline, slowly stepping into the light of the clearing.

And she was relieved.

Was so infinitely relieved.

Because she almost had expected him to vanish in a swirl of Chaos the second that she turned around.

But he was still there.

Still human and still very solid, with his purple hair, a mass of dark wet strands now sticking to his cheeks and forehead, with his eyes two tentalizing dark deep pools of purple, the nightly darkness casting his features into creepy shadows, tinged in the pale light of Cocoon, the guardian´s face it almost looked like carved from marble.

Amethyst eyes blazing at her like hell frozen over, the sight of him, standing there, not far from her, completely drenched in water and slightly out of breath, because yes, he undoubtedly had been running to catch up with her, it made her heartbeat in her chest speed up another notch or too.

But this time it wasn´t from panic, wasn´t from dread.

But because of something else entirely.

And suddenly she didn´t want to fight it anymore, that ridiculous war raging their between them. That stupid battle they´d been fighting there for centuries just because of...

 _Damn..._

Why the fuck had they been fighting in the first place?!

Suddenly she couldn´t even _remember_ anymore.

No, she didn´t want to stand up against him anymore.

Had no desire to defy him any longer.

What for?!

She´d never win that battle anyway...

Why...

 _Why was he doing this to her?_

And it was with all those confusing thoughts running through her head that she sensed the man in front her move, sensed him reaching out to her from the other side of that cursed small clearing, as tentatively, he took another tiny step in her direction.

And her hands were on the hilt of her short hunter´s sword in the blink of an eye, gripping it tightly in her firm well practiced grasp, as yelling at him to beat retreat, to leave, to let her go, she dangerously narrowed her eyes at him, aggressively bared her teeth, threateningly squared her shoulder´s to show that she was ready to take him on. More than ready actually.

All those hostile actions, all those tiny cues of body language, clearly telling him to just back off.

To go away.

To leave her alone.

All her antics, all her gestures, her warnings, leaving him completely unimpressed.

Caius Ballad only stood there.

Watched her trying hard to mask her feelings.

Trying hard but failing terribly again.

Because yes, it were her eyes, her pretty pale blue eyes that gave her away this time.

Those silent tears slowly running down her cheeks, he didn´t mistake them for raindrops.

Not even for a second.

Her tears...

Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to kiss them away.

Wanted nothing more than to wipe them off forever.

Wanted nothing more than to make her smile again, to see her happy.

And he´d surely make her happy, wouldn´t he?

If only she had the courage to just let him in...

And suddenly he knew that all she did, all those guestures, all those threats...

It was nothing more than a mascerade, a facade, a barrier she had erected around her.

Had put up there for the sole purpose to keep him out, to push him away.

A facade he saw crumbling now.

That he had come to finally tear down completely.

And it was approaching the pink haired warrior with wide determined strides, that coming to stand right there in front of her once more, he carefully reached out to touch her arm.

„Please, I want you to stay with me..." he breathed.

It wasn´t an invitation.

Wasn´t a request.

It was simply the truth.

Because yes, he needed her, needed her there with him, and no matter what she´d throw at him this time, no matter what she was going to do to him for showing up here, what she had already done to him, he knew he just couldn´t let her go.

Couldn´t let her leave his life forever.

Couldn´t bear the thought of loosing her again.

And Etro´s fallen champion, she knew it.

Knew it too.

Sensed it, felt it, saw it, in the way he looked at her.

Their eyes locked, amethyst on icy blue ones, Lightning knew he really wanted her, needed her to stay.

And that pleading look he gave her, it made the timetraveller´s heart break into a thousand tiny pieces, made it break all over again.

Because the worst about it was that yes, she wanted it too.

She wanted it.

Wanted it badly.

Wanted to stay.

Wanted to stay with him.

But it was so twisted, was so wrong.

She knew that now, had always known.

There simply was no chance for them...

And suddenly he was close to her, so close to her again.

And it was bringing up both her hands defensively, pressing against his chest with all her strenght, that she tried to push him away, that she tried to shove him away again.

But the dark clad hunter, he wouldn´t move an inch, wouldn´t even budge.

No.

He just carefully reached out to cup her face instead.

 _Damn!_

The pink haired warrior beside herself with fear, with pain, with fury, it was panicking completely that her right hand came up to lash out at him aggressively, to just hit him, square in the face this time.

The purple haired man flinching slightly, it was only with the reflexes of a life spent hunting, that he reached up just in time to catch her wrist.

 _Shit!_

And it was with his head turned away and his features contorted, ready for impact, his pink haired companion´s hand trembling violently underneath his tight firm grasp, that slowly, carefully he dared to turn his head to look at her again.

And it was then, almost loosing himself in those desperate seas of blue again, looking down at the woman in front of him, that Caius Ballad couldn´t help but feel his resolve solidify.

Yes.

He loved her.

There was no doubt to his feelings.

Not anymore.

He was sure of it.

The way the raindrops fell onto her face, were running down her temples to mingle with her tears, with her pretty cheeks now rosy, flushed from the cold, the wind, and her damp pink hair plastered to her face, the slender woman standing there in front of him, to him she was tentalising, mesmerizing.

Perfect.

Her soft pinkish lips trembling now with fear, with dread, with cold.

To him they were intoxicating.

This woman...

She had crossed the oceans of time to arrive at his feet.

He refused to believe for just one second that this had been a coincident.

No.

Their meeting there in that same clearing, it had been kissed by fate.

It was.

And Caius Ballad knew she wanted him.

Wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

And he just couldn´t understand why she wouldn´t, why she couldn´t let him in.

How was he supposed to fathom?

And it was feeling his companion´s hand underneath his touch, trembling uncontrollably, taking in her lips, quivering with her stifled sobs again, that keeping hold of her wrist just in case, he brought up his other hand to gently cup her face again.

Wiping away some of her tears with his thumb, those smouldering amethyst eyes of his staring at her like his life depended on her, they never left her own as slowly he made to close the distance between them again.

The arm that had been occupied with her wrist sneaking to her waist and all the way to the small of her back, he gently pulled her closer.

Close to him.

Rendering her utterly motionless, speechless and defenceless.

With both her hands pressed against his chest the only thing between them now, resting there just above his heart, Lightning felt it beat away there, slightly faster than before.

And suddely his face was close to her´s again, too close, his breath ghosting against her lips and their foreheads almost touching, as slowly the man in front of her made to slightly tilt his head.

And suddenly she was weak.

Was absolutely helpless.

Because there was just nothing she could do.

Nothing she could do to defy him, to resist him anymore.

And it was with the last breath of her slowly dying resistence, that she opened her mouth to object once more, were those final cords binding her to sanity that made her force out those last tiny syllables.

„Caius..."

His name, intended a warning, it left her lips like a desperate plea.

And there were her hands.

Here desperate delicate hands, still pressing against his chest in an attempt to push him away...

Still trying to get herself out of this.

But the guardian to be, he didn´t seem to notice.

Didn´t seem to care.

His eyes fixed on her´s now determined, with their lips almost touching and that strong arm of his around her body keeping her in place, Lightning knew there was no way he was going to let her go this time.

No way he was going to let her slip away again.

And she knew it.

Knew there was no way she was going to escape this, no way to put this off anymore, as looking deep into her eyes, the dark clad hunter gave a tiny nervous sigh.

„Please Ligthning... Just drop the act." he whispered.

And leaning in that tiny inch to close the distance between the two of them once more, gathering all his courage, praying to the gods that she wouldn´t kill him, kill him for what he was about to do, he slowly made to connect their lips.

And it was bliss.

Was pure perfection.

Those soft slightly trembling lips of hers.

Cool and wet.

Wet from the storm.

He instantly could taste the rain on them.

And her tears.

Salty...

And this time he met no resistance.

No resistance whatsoever.

This time she didn´t even pull away.

This time she just let it go.

 _Contants and variables..._

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t even know what happened, what happened to her in those few precious moments.

That first touch of Caius Ballad´s lips on hers, she felt it running through her body like a tremor, like some strange kind of electrical surge starting somewhere in her belly and spreading into her entire body, making her toes go numb and all her nerve ends tingle in excitement.

It made her heart stop beating alltogether and her eyelids flutter shut.

And it almost made her cry out in frustration, as after granting her a few seconds of bliss, of paradies, carefully he pulled away again, only for the fraction of an inch, just to check on her reaction.

Just to make sure he hadn´t been shot or stabbed or killed yet.

Just to make sure he hadn´t received some kind of deadly injury.

And it was the pressure of her hands against his chest slowly fading now, was the fact that he was still breathing and alive, that encouraged him to keep on going, that made him lean down again and continue what he had initiated, what he´d never let himself allow to dream of.

Lightning didn´t know how to react.

Their lips meeting there...

Carefully.

Almost tentatively.

That kiss of his, it made her forget how to breathe, made her heart explode in tiny frantic palpitations, made her legs go weak and sent the world around her spinning into a crazy fuzzy blur.

A blur of colours and emotions.

Of lights and sounds and shadows.

And she found that she couldn´t pull away.

Couldn´t, even if she tried.

Because who was she trying to fool here?

She wanted it.

Needed it as badly as he did.

 _Needed him._

And it was the feeling of his lips against her own, the feeling of his tongue softly tracing the small gap there between them, gently asking for her to let him enter, to just let him in, that made her loose all touch with reality.

And it was there, in that same clearing that she had arrived in, that against all logic, against all rules, all values, against everything she had ever dared to believe in and everything she had ever fought for, finally she allowed herself to kiss him back.

That finally she let him in.

That meeting him halfway, she allowed herself to just give in, to just loose herself in that hurricane of sensations, of emotions.

Those raging tides of Chaos finally breaking the dam, flooding her heart and spreading into every fibre of her being, it was that hand that had been resting at his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt now, as suddenly desperate to hold on to him, it was the other that she sneaked around his neck to pull him closer, to make sure to keep him there with her.

And suddenly it was as if the world around them disappeared, as if for a few tiny precious moments everthing around them just ceased to exist.

Just faded away and to the background.

Because suddenly it just didn´t matter anymore.

Because suddenly nothing mattered anymore.

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing, except for them.

Yes...

That first of kiss his, it blew her mind, sent her heart flying up into the clounds and rendered her utterly speechless.

And she was mesmerized, entranced.

Was burning.

A moth that had gotten too close to the flame in what had to be the absolutely softest way.

Caius Ballad was the first person to set her broken heart on fire.

And somehow she knew he was also going to be the last.

And there was a soft pained moan leaving her pinkish lips the second that finally they broke apart.

As their foreheads gently touching, feeling his companion´s breath softly puffing against his lips, Caius Ballad opened his eyes to find her´s still shut tight.

Her body slightly trembling from the cold, the fear, the kiss, wrapping both his arms around her slender frame, he hugged her tightly.

That pink haired woman, with her arm around his neck and her tears still coming, she allowed herself to lean against him, as standing on her tiptoes, she burried her face into his neck.

And he knew he wasn´t going to let her go.

Ever.

Or at least that was what he thought, as hugging her to his body tightly, he kept standing there with her in that godforbidden clearing.

But even the most exquisite intense moment you thought was your eternity has to end sometime...

End and fade and die.

Leaving nothing but a shallow memory.

Only a pittyful reminder.

Merely a shadow of the real thing.

And so after what seemed like forever, finally breaking the spell, the woman from his dreams, she drew away again.

Their gazes locking almost instantly, it was like a raging fire smothered by the giant wave of a tsunami.

Deep chilly oceans meating smouldering gems of purple.

And it was only a few moments later that she felt his lips descent on her´s again.

Felt one of his hands come up to cup her cheek again.

Felt him pull her close again.

And it was there only with the utmost of efforts, that she managed to tear herself away.

„Caius. Please..." she breathed against his lips, slowly bringing up a hand to stop him.

„It just can´t be."

Carefully pushing him away a bit, to finally create at least a little distance there between their burning bodies, the pink haired warrior, she still felt those arms around her, felt one of his hands resting somewhere at her hip, as clearly, he had no intention to let go.

The purple haired hunter, he felt his heart burn as it dropped to his stomach, felt his soul, lifted up into the clouds what had been only seconds ago, torn out of the sky and smashed back into the ground in the blink of an eye to crush there on the stony pavement of reality.

„Why not?" he settled to ask carefully.

His voice still husky and sounding slightly strangled, Lightning couldn´t find it in herself to respond.

„Is it because you don´t like me?"

Well...

She somehow had already known this was going to come.

Had expected this question of his to arise some time.

But still, she was not prepared any better.

„No..." she admitted somewhat shyly, as carefully she made to avert her gaze.

It was true.

It wasn´t because she didn´t like him.

It was more the fact that actually she did like him, that she did like him more than was actually good for her, that was creeping her out to no end.

Because yes, her feelings scared her. Scared her more than any battle, any monster ever could.

Scared her because she knew there was no way to kill them.

No way to fight them anymore.

„Then what is it?" the guardian pressed on, intent on clearing things up once and forever.

The pink haired warrior, she only shook her head.

„You can´t tell me?" the dark clad hunter guessed, suddenly sounding irritated, impatient even, as taking a step away from her he drew back further to study his companion´s tortured features, before bringing up his hands again to rest them at her upper arms, he gave a resignated deep drawn sigh.

„What are you afraid of Light?"

There was only silence.

The pink haired woman looking up at him with pain, with sorrow, Caius Ballad had a feeling he already knew exactly what this was about.

„Is it because of our fight?" he carefully dared to ask.

„Because if it is... I won´t... I won´t fight you. I promise... I swear!"

The guardian´s voice gradually rising in volume, his pink haired companion continuing to shake her head frustratedly, he suddenly felt those words bubble out of his mouth like water from a spring, suddenly found himself unable to hold them back any longer.

„I won´t become Yeul´s guardian. I´ll stay here, right where I am. With you!" he assured in a low but determined tone.

„I don´t need anybody else to care for. I´ll just care for you... I don´t care what´s honourable!"

The pink haired female´s eyes swimming in tears again, fighting to find the courage to look up at him, it was with utmost horror that she met the dark clad hunter´s gaze.

„Caius you wouldn´t understand... You can´t." she said somewhat imploringly, her eyes pleading, pleading him to just let this drop as slowly she made to wriggle free from his grasp.

„Then explain it to me." the guardian urged as reaching out for her he tried to grab her hand again.

His attempt, it was in vain.

„I can´t!" she almost cried, as shaking her head in denial again, she pulled back to push him further away.

„Why?" he asked.

She didn´t answer.

„WHY?!"

„You wouldn´t understand!" was all the answer he received.

Her voice was shaking, trembling now.

And he knew she was going to cry again, was going to break down in tears again.

But for some strange reason, he didn´t care.

Not this time.

No.

This was important to him.

He needed to figure this out.

Needed to know.

And he was fed up, so fed up with this.

Those empty answers, those stupid excuses of her´s, that stupid assumption that for some strange reason he wouldn´t be able to grasp this, whatever it was. That thing he knew she was keeping from him.

Had been keeping from him from the beginning.

He knew it was something important.

Something important, at least to her.

And it was mean.

And nasty.

And unfair.

How was he supposed to understand, if she didn´t even give him a chance, if she didn´t even let him try?

„Why do you keep saying that?!" he almost yelled at her.

Or maybe he did.

Because maybe finally it´d make a difference.

Maybe finally she´d listen.

Listen to him.

But he was talking to a wall again.

Another wall that she had managed to built up between them in a matter of seconds.

Another wall he would have to break again.

Another fortress he would have to invade.

And of course he would...

Now that he´d glimpsed the inside, there was no way he was going to let her hide in there any longer.

„Because you can´t! And I can´t tell you. I´m sorry!" she cried frustratedly, sobbing almost uncontrollably, about to retreat even further.

He just caught her wrist again.

Taking her hand in both of his, he just held on to her.

„Listen... No matter what´s going to happen, I´m certainly not going to fight you. That´s ridiculous. I would never fight you." he tried to calm the pretty woman, loosing it infront of him once more.

It only served to make her cry harder.

„No you don´t understand! We have no choice!" she suddenly muttered under her breath.

The guardian to be, he was barely able to catch the words.

Her eyes wildly darting around the clearing, he knew another emotional break down was approaching with the speed of a train.

„You have to..."

„You already did..."

„I was there..."

It were those last confusing words of her´s that caught the guardian off guard.

„Wait... What are you talking about?!" his voice was suddenly low, dead, serious.

Waiting for the pink haied warrior to at least look into his eyes, his hopes were crushed the moment she turned away from him, as vehemently shaking her head, she tried to pull her hand out of his once more.

„Lightning?!" he warned, almost threateningly now as intent on holding on to her, he tried to made her answer.

Etro´s fallen champion, she seemed to have other things in mind though, as trying hard to wriggle free, the fingers of her free hand clawing at his skin now, she desperately tried to make his hand release her´s.

„No, don´t do this... Don´t push me away again!" the guardian begged, as bending down to look into her eyes, his voice trembling, pleading now, he tried to make her stay.

Tried to make her understand.

Because he needed her to listen.

Needed her to look at him.

Needed her to understand.

Because it hurt.

It hurt so much.

The knowledge that he loved her.

That at least she did feel something for him too.

And the fact that for some strange reason she was pushing him away.

Was pushing him away again.

The fact that there was something that she knew...

Something important.

Something important concerning the both of them.

Something that she wouldn´t even tell him.

That she didn´t want to share with him.

And suddenly he felt toyed with again.

Felt betrayed and left out and thrown away.

And suddenly he couldn´t bear it any longer.

That constant game of hide and seek.

One second she liked him.

The she pushed him away again.

Hurt him even.

It wasn´t something he could take forever.

A torture he wasn´t going to endure much longer.

Yes.

He loved her.

He loved her and he wanted her to stay with him.

He knew she wanted him too.

But at the same time knew she wanted him to leave.

Wanted him to leave her more than anything.

And he saw the way it pained her.

Pained her beyond anything he could possibly imagine.

And it was driving him mad.

The fact that he couldn´t change it.

The fact that whatever he did, whatever he said, it didn´t seem to make even the tinyest difference to ease the situation.

The fact that every second that he held on to her he made her torture even worse, made her heart ache even harder.

Because he wanted nothing more than soothe her pain.

Nothing more than see her happy.

But what was he supposed to do?

How was he supposed to solve this if she wasn´t even going to talk to him...

His temper flaring up again, giving a low irritated growl, the pink haired warrior panicking under his grasp, he held her tightly, refused to let her go, as determined to make her tell him, to make her look at him, to get this out of the way once and forever, Caius Ballad reached out to roughly cup her face again.

That hasty movement of his, with his eyes blazing at her like a raging fire and his hand so unexpectedly darting up towards her face, her soldier instincts kicking in again, bringing up her hands defensively, the pink haired woman flinched, instantly cringed away from him, gave a stiffled panicked cry.

There...

For just a moment he had reminded her of the man she had fought in Valhalla.

Just for a second there, she had seen the spark of what she knew one day would ignite the wildfire that would inevitably lead to the end of the world...

The purple haired guardian he let his hands drop away from her body almost instantly, pulled away from her as if he had gotten burned.

Because it stung.

It stung beyond everything he´d ever felt before.

Hurt beyond what ever could be described by words.

And it was immideately realising her mistake, realising how her actions must have hurt him, must have hurt his feelings, that aghast at her own behaviour, the pink haired warrior looked up to meet his gaze.

Dark armethyst eyes staring down at her, completely devasted.

„Why are you shying away from me like that..." his voice was shaky, trembling. His handsome features hurt and full of sorrow.

„I could never hurt you, not in a thousand years!"

That comment of his making the woman in front of him succomb to heavy sobs again, he chose to take a step away from her.

Another step away from the woman that he loved.

Because no.

He had no desire to upset her.

To upset her even further...

No desire to get hurt again...

What would happen there between them that would turn them into bitter enemies, that would make them adversaries engaged in mortal combat?

Staring at the woman in front of him, that woman that he loved so much, that woman so terribly in pain, it was suddenly right then and there, that finally he understood, truly for the very first time understood, that something inside her was broken.

Something broken, not to be repaired.

Ever.

Something broken by him.

And it was gasping in shock and in bewilderment, that he felt his stomach give a desperate lurch, that very moment that finally realisation hit him...

„What am I going to do to you...?" he slowly choked out in a strangled voice, choked out to that very person standing with her back to him.

„What am I going to do that people know me even in a 1000 years...?"

His words, in the tumult of that raging storm, they were barely audible.

„Please Lightning, I need to know!" he almost yelled at her again.

To him it just didn´t make sense.

No matter how much he tried to wrap his head around this, there was no way he could even begin to grasp what all of this mess meant, had no idea of what was going on.

And it were those last words of her´s as finally turning around to face him one last time, Etro´s former champion slowly made to look up into his face, that made his heart stop beating alltogether, made the blood in his veins freeze to ice, and his legs almost give way beneath his body.

„Not people, Caius... Only me."

And it were the way she said them, spoken with utmost hate, with vengeance, that against all logic, made him reach out to hug her once again, made him want to hold her, to hold her close to him.

But the pink haired female retreating a few steps she wriggled free from his attempts almost instantly.

„Ligtning... I swear I wont fight you! I swear I´d rather die than hurt you!"

He was almost crying now...

The pink haired warrior she only shook her pretty head.

„You will... It already happened...The future... It cant be changed."

Her voice was dead now.

Completely devoid of emotion.

And her face was set into an impassive mask once more.

Marble.

Caius Ballad didn´t care.

Taking heart he carefully reached out to take her hand again.

„No, listen! We are in this together... We gonna find a way... I promise! I swear! I´m going to find a way to change the future."

Giving her hand in his a gentle tiny tug, he made her look up into his eyes again.

She tried to wrench her hand free from his immediately.

Lips trembling.

Breath shaky.

Heart throbbing.

Because she just couldn´t bear it.

Couldn´t bear to look at him.

He wouldn´t let her go however.

„Lightning... I..."

„Caius..." she tried to cut him off immediately.

„No... Please listen to me..." the man insisted.

„I would never hurt you, I´d never let anything happen to you! I could never do something like that!"

The pink haired warrior, she just turned to stare at him.

Pale icy blue eyes.

They were piercing him, piercing his skin, his insides, straight to his very soul.

„Never..."

Bringing up his hand again to tentatively try and cup her cheek one last time, he carefully took a tiny step closer to put his hand around her waist.

„Lightning, I love y- "

Her blue eyes growing huge, completely aghast at what she knew he was about to say, one of her hands darting up to stop him, she silenced him with an unexpected touch to his now trembling lips.

„Caius... No... " she said, carefully shaking her head.

„Please, just don´t."

There was another attempt to wriggle free from her side, and this time he just let her go.

Hurt.

Defeated.

It was barely able to draw a single steady breath that the purple haired guardian watched his companion wordlessly avert her gaze, ready to turn away, to leave.

To leave him once again.

„No... Lightning... Please... Please don´t do this to me... " he whispered, definitely pleading now.

She didn´t seem to hear him, didn´t seem to care.

Or maybe it were just those memories, those tortures, all those painful pictures passing right before her inner eyes...

Because in the end she couldn´t bear it.

Couldn´t bear it as she felt the Caius from the past, the Caius from the future, fusing there inside her head, finally becoming one.

One and the same person.

And she couldn´t bear to look at him.

To even look at him once more, as turning away from him, she took a few first steps away.

Away from him and towards the edge of the forest, that exact spot where the clearing ended, and finally the thicket of trees would swallow her, would hide her from his sight forever.

„Lightning..." the purple haired guardian called after her tentatively.

But somehow she wouldn´t listen.

Couldn´t bring herself to turn around once more.

To look at him once more.

Because she knew she couldn´t do it.

Couldn´t stay there with him even for a second longer.

Because it pained her, scared her, absolutely horryfied her.

The indisputable fact that actually, somewhere deep inside of her, she had enjoyed those few fragile tiny moments, that unbeknowest to herself she had longed for something like this to happen for a vey long time now.

And that somehow eventhough she would never admit it, she secretely, incredulously, was craving for more.

Yes.

It was true.

She wanted Caius Ballad.

Wanted him just the way he wanted her.

She just couldn´t deny it any longer.

Not anymore.

 _But it mustn´t be._

This was crazy.

This was insane.

This was twisted.

And so wrong.

So very wrong.

She wasn´t supposed to feel this way.

Not for anybody.

And certainly not for him.

Least of all him!

Why him?!

Him of all people?!

It was a powerful emotion...

To want something so badly and yet fear it so deeply.

Terribly beautiful, but so terribly devastating all the same...

How could something feel so good, yet be so wrong?

She didn´t know.

And she felt them shaking there, she felt them tremble.

Those concrete walls she had put up around her.

Those walls she now felt crumbling.

Crumbling and crashing down on her.

To burry her.

To crush her

To kill her.

And she knew she needed to get away.

 _Away._

Just _away_.

Away from all those horrors.

Away from her conflicting thoughts.

Away from _him_.

 _Caius Ballad._

The seeress´ guardian.

He just stood there in that clearing, helplessly watching after her, abandoned, unable to think of what to do, his once whole heart bleeding.

* * *

 _It is both,_

 _a blessing and a curse._

 _To feel everything._

 _So very deeply._

\- David Jones

* * *

 _ **Sometimes following your heart means loosing your mind.**_

* * *

So here we are.

I know you guys have been waiting for this to happen for quite some time now. And I am aware you expected this to turn out quite differently but yeah... life just sux sometimes right?

Anybody out there able to guess what will happen next?

Because yes... something very important is going to happen in the next chap and I´m sure some of you are already able to guess what this is going to be...

Anyway I hope this chapter was a little better than the last one... Or maybe it wasn´t?

Liked it? Hated it? Any suggestions? - Just let me know in a review or via PM. I´m always happy to hear your opinion. I´m writin this story for you after all;)

Anyway. Have a good day :)

* * *

 **Thank you for your continuous support and hope you enjoyed!**


	13. Chapter XII: Prison of Fate

Hi guys!

Remember when I told you there would be more frequent updates? Guess I wasn´t exaggerating there huh?

So thank you guys for staying with me!

I´m so glad so many people like this story.

It makes me so happy!

At this part I´d like to thank my three loyal reviewers who gave feedback on my last chap plus my single new follower/favourite adder (Hi there;) )

And to my speacial readers (I think those concerned know exactly who I mean ;) ) thank you for your continuous support. I love receiving your PM´s guys! You really keep me going.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

As to everybody else who is reading this story. Thank you for giving my fanfiction a try!

I really hope you like it too (since I will never know for sure until you treat me with some feedback;) )

Anyway.

Here´s the chapter you´ve been waiting for ever since you started on that story.

This chapter is for you!

 **GO AHEAD AND PLEASE ENJOY!**

* * *

(Gustavo Santaolalla – As it chud be)

* * *

 **CHAPTER XII: PRISON OF FATE**

 _The two most important days in your life are the day you are born_

 _and the day you find out why._

\- Mark Twain

* * *

The next day Caius Ballad was gone.

The pink haired warrior rapping on the wood of his front door like a maniac, no matter how often she called his name, it was no use.

He simply wasn´t there.

Peeking through the dusty shards of his hut´s front´s broken window, Lightning found her assumtions verified.

The perfectly neat made bed was empty and so was the table where she knew he used to store his sword, his spear, that hand made leather pouch of his he used to carry around his hunting stuff.

He definitely hadn´t had them on him when she had last met him in that clearing.

Had he gone out hunting with the others?

Somehow she couldn´t quiet believe it.

It had been late when they had parted in the clearing in the woods.

Eventhough they had gone seperate ways from there, eventhough she had lost her way there in that giant maze of trees, eventhough it had taken her hours to find her way back to the small hunter´s village on her own, it couldn´t have been more than an hour before sunrise that the experienced hunter had arrived there.

Surely Caius Ballad wouldn´t leave for a hunt without even a few hours of sleep, or would he?

No that so wasn´t him...

But then...

Where was he then?

Lightning had no idea...

But somehow she couldn´t help but feel a little relieved.

A little relieved she hadn´t found him there.

A little relieved she hadn´t had to face him yet.

Something she knew she wouldn´t be able to put off forever...

Still.

She wasn´t looking forward to meeting his reproachful stare, was already dreading the unpleasant encounter, those words he´d undoubtedly throw at her this time.

And there was something else...

She was owing him an explanation.

He´d ask for one for sure.

What was she supposed to tell him?

She could hardly say the truth...

 _Damn!_

Suddenly she wasn´t sure anymore returning to the village had been the best of ideas in the first place.

Yes she had been planning to leave...

To not ever return...

 _Again._

But somehow, no matter how hard she tried to leave this place, there always was something leading her straight back to it, something bigger, something supernatural, like an invisible cord attached to her very beeing, pulling her straight back to the small hunter´s village.

Back to _him._

 _Constants and variables..._

Was it her fate to end up there?

She wondered...

And if it were her fate indeed, what use was there in trying to defy it?

Yes...

What use...

Getting herself lost in the dephts of that forest just the night before, completely without supplies, without a plan, without anywhere to go to really, suddenly Lightning had realised she wouldn´t be able to run away forever.

Because yes, she´d been running away.

Had been doing so for her entire life.

Running away from her parent´s death, her pain, herself.

Joining the military to try and give her life a reason, her breathing a cause, drowning her sorrow, her grief in physical exercise, in drills, in fighting, in violence...

She had been nothing but a coward.

Unable to face her fears.

Driven by the urge to escape her fate she had put on a mask. An impenetrable mask to hide away behind. A mask to veil her pain, her sorrow. Until finally one day there hadn´t been anything left of her to hide away anymore.

And she had lived her life as an empty shell there on.

A life bereft of meaning.

A life where nothing else counted but orders and missions.

Where nothing was important anymore.

And in the end she had been nothing but a tool.

A tool without feelings, without free will, a slave to the system until then one day, that system had crumbled and she had became a servant to the gods instead...

Another pawn.

Another puppet.

And it had been gladly that she had accepted her fate.

Gladly that she had taken on another mission, another cause to fight for.

Another battle to distract her from the war raging there inside her own heart.

But Serah´s death...

Serah´s death had somehow triggered all of it to resurface again.

Had opened a rift she had thought had been long closed and from the dephts of that rift there it had come right back to her, the pain, the grief, the sorrow, the guilt.

Had hit her straight in the face.

And she had tried to force it back, back down her broken wrotten being.

Had put up another set of walls, a fortress really, to make sure they´d stay in check.

And she had managed.

Somehow she had managed to lock them away once more.

But Caius Ballad...

Caius Ballad had ruined everything.

Had managed to infiltrate that fortress and to tear down those walls she had spent ages on errecting in merely a few short weeks.

Yes.

He had successfully managed to defeat her once again.

Had managed to destroy the tough fierce soldier she had always pictured herself to be.

And now?

Now he had left her there to die...

Or had he?

She just didn´t know.

And suddenly she was being that little girl again.

That helpless little girl whose parents had died and who´d lost everything.

And she was running away, running away again.

But this time...

Somewhere there in the darkness of those ancient trees, in the depths of that forrest and the middle of that storm, desperate to leave everything behind her once again, something in that crazy haunted head of her´s had finally clicked in place.

Yes.

She had realized something.

Understood something.

Something important.

The indisputeable fact that no matter how often she tried to leave, no matter where or how far she went, she´d never be able to escape her thoughts, her memories, her feelings...

Her feelings for Caius Ballad.

No...

No matter what she did, she could never escape him.

Because he was there.

Always there.

Etched into her heart, her soul, her memory.

Was part of her, of who she was.

No.

There was no chance of running away from him.

There hadn´t been in Valhalla and there wasn´t now.

There had never been.

 _Caius..._

That night before, she´d left him.

Had treated him like shit, had hurt him, had pushed him away again.

Why was she doing this to him again?

Was this really the way she wanted to treat the one who loved her, who cared for her?

Giving a frustrated sigh the pink haired warrior tore herself away from her companion´s front door and turned around to slowly make her way back down those wooden steps that led down from the cozy looking front porch and back onto the pebbly path.

Yes... She had overreacted there again.

Had completely lost control.

Had finally given in to those emotions raging there inside of her.

And it had scared her.

The intensity of them.

The intensity of her feelings, her body´s reaction to what he had been doing to her...

Of what the both of them had done.

Of that moment they had shared together.

And she still felt it...

The touch of his lips there burning on her own.

The intensiy of that dark piercing stare of his boring holes into her own.

The warmth of his embrace as he had held her there.

And suddenly she knew she needed to see him.

Knew she needed to see his face.

Needed to see his face, his eyes, that handsome halfsmile of his.

Needed to assure herself that he was still okay, alright and happy.

That he was still breathing and alive.

Because there was that ugly nagging feeling clawing at the back of her mind, that steadily increasing fear, that she had made a serious mistake there.

That pushing him away and shouting at him and leaving him behind had been mean and nasty and cruel and wrong.

And that maybe this time she had gone a step too far...

That maybe this time he wouldn´t come back to her anymore.

That maybe this time he wouldn´t want her anymore.

That maybe he wasn´t willing to fogive her anymore.

And she realised she needed him.

Needed him more than anything.

Needed him like the air to breathe.

Because for some strange mysterious reason he had suddenly become the one person that mattered.

That one person she was ready to give everything up for.

The battle, the fighting, the future.

Her dream to one day save the timeline.

And suddenly it didn´t matter anymore what he had done, what he would be doing in the future or who she knew he would become.

She only wanted him to be there.

To be there with her.

Wanted to have him close to her.

And she knew she needed to tell him.

Needed to tell him this.

But now that finally she had found the courage to do so, to even admit it to herself, suddenly there was nobody there to talk to anymore.

 _Caius..._

Where was he?

What was he doing right now?

What was he thinking right now?

Was he thinking about her as well, or had he banned her from his thoughts already?

Making her way back the earthy tracks and up to the main road, scanning the small crowd gathering in front of the main building tending to their daily business for that familiar shock of purple hair in vain, the people occassionally passing her throwing her contemptuous glances, the pink haired time traveller, she decided to head back to Cara´s hut as fast as she could.

She´d rather wait for her companion to return in there.

People weren´t exactly fond of her anymore it seemed.

Now that most of them knew she was from Cocoon, their hospitality seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Well, it didn´t matter.

If Caius really had gone out hunting with the others, there was no need for her to search those streets now any longer.

He probably wouldn´t be back before lunchtime anyway...

„Watch it!"

Reaching the nurse´s hut´s old battered front door, the once fierc ex-sodier entered the front room to instantly run into Caius Ballad´s older sister.

Busily dancing arond the room Cara Ballad was rummaging around in cupboards and roaming the many tiny shelves, picking up this thing or another to add into a huge dark metal pot where an ugly green substance eminating a wrecking foul stench sat merrily bubbling over a small crackling fire.

Those rancid fumes, they almost made the pink haired warrior turn on her heel and bolt through the front door again.

„Ah Lightning! Where´s Caius?! I need him to help me with that elixir! Gotta get me some of that herbs that grow so rarely!" the woman threw at the pink haired warrior from the other side of the room as hastily she made to retrieve a jar with dark blue leaves in them.

It was almost empty now.

„Oh... I... I actually thought you might be able to tell me where he is..." the timetraveller contered carefully, as with her back pressing to the wall, she tried to keep out of the busy nurse´s way.

„Me?! I haven´t seen him all day!" Cara replied impatientely as adding the leaves to her freshly brewed concoction, she picked up a huge wooden spoon to instantly start and stirr, stirr like a fool actually.

It took another few minutes before finally the purple haired female looked up from her task, the two women´s eyes meeting in what only could be described as a very awkward way.

„I haven´t seen him since yesterday." Etro´s fallen champion admitted in a somewhat tiny voice.

Her blue eyes still puffy, swollen and red, the fact that the pink haired female had been crying, it didn´t escape the nurse´s well trained gaze.

„Did you two fight again?" Cara asked almost instantly.

Knowingly raising one of her eyebrows at the warrior in front of her, the purple haired nurse had the nagging feeling she already knew exactly what had been going on between them.

Well... At least she hadn´t heard any shots this time...

„No..." the pink haired female answered somewhat insecurely.

They hadn´t fought.

Or had they?

„Don´t worry, he´s a grown man." Cara said.

„He´s probably just out roaming the Steppe as usual. I´m sure he will be back soon." she added somewhat reassuringly when she took in the warrior´s troubled stare.

„Wherever he is, he´ll manage."

„Sure..." was all that Lightning managed to get out.

There was that persistent feeling clawing at her insides, telling her that somehow Cara wasn´t right at all.

Where had Caius gone exactly?

He had never left without telling her before.

Without telling anybody.

Had he gone to leave for Paddra already?

Had that moment in the clearing really been that final straw?

Had she really lost him there?

Lost him there forever?

Maybe she had...

The thought of it, it was making her guts cramp up in pain, made her chest constrict uncomfortably.

„Hey what about those leaves now? Think you could get me some?!" Cara´s businesslike voice ripped her out of her dreary musings.

„Oh... Uhm... Sure."

And she was off again.

* * *

 _You never think the last time is the last time._

 _You think there will be more._

 _You think you have forever._

 _But you don´t._

\- Dr. Meredith Grey

* * *

It was late evening already.

The inhabitants of the hunter´s village huddling close around their fires, with the nightly autumn breeze carrying a chilly note, a herold of approaching winter, there was no languidly lounging in the grass a few meters aside anymore. All those people enjoying their dinner together, Lightning only watched from the shadows of some nearby trees, as Caine and the other hunters returned from the Steppe to join in around the fire.

His face still bruised and swollen in various places, walking with a tiny limp, the pink haired female knew the arrogant leader of the tribe had seen better days himself as well.

Hm... It definitely served him right.

The men gathering around him one by one, hopeful pale blue eyes scanning their faces for her companion´s handsome features in vain, it took Etro´s fallen champion only a few short seconds to confirm that indeed the guardian to be was not among them.

That Caius Ballad wasn´t there.

 _Oh where was he, where had he gone?_

Had he really left for Paddra?

Left without even telling her?

Without even saying good bye?!

Was he already on his way to becoming the guardian, the monster?

Maybe he was...

The thought of it alone, it sent a shudder down her spine, was enough to make her flinch.

 _Oh Caius... Where are you now?!_

* * *

 _One of the hardest things in life is letting go of what you thought was real._

\- Origin Unknown

* * *

„Ah... Caius Ballad... I have been waiting for you..."

The otherwordly voice of a certain young small blue haired girl was echoing from the ornamented ceiling, was bouncing off the high stone walls, to greet him, to reach out for him, the second the dark clad hunter had put foot behind that lightly woven veil guarding the seeress´ temple´s entrance.

It somehow made the tall man shiver, made his skin erupt in goosebumps.

Of course, the seeress had been awaiting his arrival...

Had known he would be there that day, had done so probably even before he had decided to leave the Archylte Steppe in the first place.

„Have you finally come to accept my offer?" Paddra Nsu-Yeul asked boldly, as turning around to face her most anticipated visit, she presented Caius Ballad with a kind coy smile.

The spiritual leader of the Farseeres, she didn´t waste much time with courtesy it seemed...

There was silence in the temple of the seeress.

The dark clad hunter nervously shifting his weight, it was only tentatively that he opened his mouth to speak to her.

„No... I... I´m afraid not..." The purple haired male stuttered somewhat shyly.

He had played the scenario through on his journey to Paddra, had played it through multiple times inside his head for the past 48 hours. And sure, he had already figured it wouldn´t be a pleasant thing to do, telling the seeress that he had decided against accepting her offer, but now...

Now that he was finally there, he found that it was almost impossible for him to pull through with it.

Now that finally he was there, he suddenly felt small and volnurable.

Weak.

Almost too weak to deny that child her single wish...

How could a small young girl like her could have such an effect on him?!

Caius Ballad couldn´t fathom.

Towering in front of her, his strong arms suddenly limp and useless, he slowly took a few deep calming breaths.

„It is a tempting offer... An honour actually... But yet, I must decline." He finally said, a lot more confident this time.

Because yes, he´d come to quit.

Had come to quit that ridiculous game of hide and seek.

That was why he had left for Paddra without telling _her_ in the first place.

 _Lightning..._

Yes.

He hadn´t told her.

Hadn´t filled her in on what he had been planning.

Because sure, he knew she wouldn´t like it.

Wouldn´t like what he had chosen to do.

Would probably have tried to persuade him, would have tried to stop him.

She had made him promise after all, hadn´t she?

He had promised her to become Yeul´s guardian...

A promise impossible for him to keep.

A promise he was going to break today.

Because this was so much more important.

So much more important that anything he could imagine.

Because yes.

He had chosen _her_ , the girl he loved, over the honour of becoming the seeress´ guardian.

And now that finally he was here to do it, he knew he was doing the right thing.

He really was.

It hadn´t exactly been a hard decision to make.

He knew he would have chosen the pink haired time traveller over anything else, would have gladly done so any day...

Still.

It had been bothering him a lot.

Had been causing him what suddenly felt like a hundred sleepless nights.

Had been constantly there at the back of his mind.

Gnawing at him.

The thought of it.

Of what he was going to do...

Whatever _it_ was exactly.

He knew, the thought of it, it made her sad, knew that him becoming the seeress´ guardian was important to her...

Still... Right from the beginning, he had felt he needed to quit.

Needed to get out of this as long as he still had a chance to.

Because coming here to stay at Paddra, to stay with Yeul, to become her guardian...

All of this...

It just felt wrong.

It wasn´t what he wanted.

No.

That woman whome he loved, who had so suddenly become the most important thing in this entire world...

He wanted to stay with her.

Wanted to be with her.

Wanted to start a family with her.

He was sure of it.

Never had he wanted anything as badly.

Never had anything felt so right.

No... He had no interest in leaving her, in dedicating his life to serve the will of the seeress no matter how noble a cause it might be.

No...

No way.

The male´s posture resolute, the way he squared his shoulders, determined, Paddra Nsu-Yeul could only stare at him with huge green perplexed eyes, surprise written all over her face for probably the first time ever in her short cursed life.

„But Caius..." she breathed his name as taking a few tentative steps forward she reached out to persuasively touch his arm.

The purple haired guardian to be pulling away instantly, those piercing sharp green eyes, the way they were staring up at him, probingbly, calculating even, they made the tall male cringe away.

„You can´t decline." the small girl said, gazing deep into his eyes. There was a small wicked smile beginning to tug there at her pinkish lips, or was there?

Retreating a few steps further ready to make towards the exit, it was without the desire of staying any second longer that the dark clad hunter shook his head.

Yes... He´d better make sure to get out of there.

„I´m sorry." he said, as turning around, he headed straight back towards the veil where he had entered only minutes before.

No reason to waste any more time in there.

This place, this girl, they were creeping him out to no end.

He´d better get his ass back on his Chocobo and over to the Archylte Steppe as fast as possible.

Back to his tribe.

Back to Lightning.

If she´d have him, that was...

He had almost reached the veil hung exit when it happened.

The thing, he had been dreading ever since he had entered that high stone building...

„You just don´t understand, do you?" he heard Yeul´s voice call after him.

And suddenly it didn´t sound kind and friendly anymore.

No.

It sounded hard, harsh and unforgiving.

Teasing almost.

The guardian to be taken by surprise, stopping right in front of the exit, he turned around to look down at the seeress in bewilderment.

The tiny girl somewhere on the other side of the room looking exactly the same as he remembered from their last encounters, no matter what he did, Caius Ballad couldn´t shake off the uncanny feeling that somehow she was playing him, was playing him like a fiddle, had done so ever since they had first met.

And that somehow she knew exactly what hard an impact those words had on him.

Because yes, she was right of course...

He didn´t understand.

He didn´t understand anything of the stuff that was going on around him.

Didn´t understand what Yeul wanted him to become her guardian for...

Didn´t understand what was going on between him and Lightning, how she had actually come to land here with him in the first place...

Didn´t understand why she wanted him to join the seeress...

Why she was still afraid of him so badly...

No.

It made no sense to him.

Anything.

Made no sense to him at all.

But one thing he knew.

Knew for certain.

That mysterious woman from the future, he loved her.

He really did.

Loved her more that anything else in this world.

And he wouldn´t leave her for the honour of becoming Yeul´s guardian.

Not in a million years.

No matter how much that small girl pleaded him to do so.

No matter how much she hated him for it.

He just wouldn´t.

No way.

That pink haired woman from the future, she was all that counted, all that mattered to him now.

And whatever it was the seeress had to tell him, whatever it was she´d throw at him to make him stay, she might as well go to hell, because he simply didn´t give a shit of what she had prepared to say.

His decision had been made.

There was no way the words of a single little girl could change that!

 _Ever!_

„Oh poor Caius... You don´t have any clue, do you?" Yeul suddenly spoke up from the other side of the room.

It only made the guardian to be dangerously narrow his eyes at her.

He had the nagging feeling she was messing with him again, was mocking him.

„Don´t tell me she didn´t even bother to tell you..." the girl added teasingly, her eyes twinkling with some strange kind of malicious joy as she took in his completely confused stare.

What was she playing at this time?

Was she trying to outface him?

„Tell me what...?" the hunter growled, feeling anger rising in his chest at the way the seeress treated him, the way she was talking to him, the way she was looking down at him.

And he knew she was probably trying to deceive him.

Was trying to get his resolve to crumble.

Was trying to trick him into changing his mind.

But her efforts, they would be useless...

No way was he going to let her toy with his feelings the way she had done with Lightning´s.

He had seen what Yeul could do.

Had seen how her words had broken his once tough pink haired companion.

And he knew, knew she was trying to do the same to him now.

Knew, her only purpose was to make him waver.

Knew, he had to somehow resist her, to resist the urge to listen to those words.

Knew, there was a reason Lightning wasn´t telling him some things.

A reason she didn´t want him to find out.

And if she thought it was better for him not to know, then maybe he´d do good to trust her judgement, to heed that wish of her´s... Right?

Still...

There was that tiny ugly feeling, that tiny nasty voice, sitting there at the back of his head, telling him that somehow Yeul was right...

That Lightning didn´t tell him anything.

Ever.

Was keeping things from him actually.

Had treated him like shit even, most of the time.

Or hadn´t she?

She had...

„The truth, Caius..." Yeul said, innocently staring up at him.

„Oh she didn´t tell you, did she?"

The blue haired girl offering a tiny smile, she knowingly tilted her head, carefully took a tiny step in his direction.

And the purple haired hunter felt he couldn´t move.

Felt those tiny shivers crawling up his spine again...

„After all you did for her, she didn´t even bother to fill you in..." Yeul´s girlish voice kept mocking him, kept teasing him, kept tickling that sleeping dragon waiting to awake inside of him.

The guardian to be, he only gave an irritated grunt.

He was loosing his patience with that small young girl.

But on the other hand...

Yes...

Yeul was right there.

Was right again.

Looking up at her future guardian with longing, the seeress´ pinkish lips curled upwards into a triumphant smirk.

Oh yes, she had hit his weak spot there.

Hadn´t she?

Trust...

No matter what he did for her...

 _Lightning..._

No matter how often he´d help her out, offer support, or save her life even, his actions, no matter how kind, how noble, they never seemed to be able to gain the pink haired warrior´s trust.

It had bothered him.

Had bothered him before.

Ever since she had arrived there at his feet, she had mistrusted him.

Was it something that he had done?

Was it something that he had missed to do?

Hadn´t he always treated her with kindness, with respect?

Hadn´t he always shown her just how much he cared?

Couldn´t she see he loved her, would do anything for her?

Maybe she couldn´t.

Or maybe it was just him...

Maybe he had been doing it all wrong from the beginning...

„I don´t know what you are talking about!" The determined hunter spat at the girl on front him angrily.

It was a lie of course.

And Yeul.

She knew it.

Saw right through it.

She was a seeress after all...

It had been a foolish act to even try.

The small blue haired girl in front of him, she only gave a tiny girlish giggle.

„Oh Caius... Please..." she said, beckoning him closer.

„Let me show you..."

His legs suddenly moving on their own accord there was nothing he could have done to make them stop and it was before he even knew what happened, that he was standing right infront of her.

Yeul...

What was she doing to him?

The small girl motioning for him to sit, his knees suddenly giving way beneath his body, the normally strong purple haired man sank down to the cool hard tiles of the floor, his new position allowing the girl to properly look into his eyes for the very first time since she had met him.

Those terrible green eyes...

Caius Ballad found an alian weird glint in them.

Something otherwordly reaching out for him through that tiny girl´s flashing cold green stare.

 _Yeul..._

Taking another tiny step closer, she lifted both of her tiny delicate hands, lifted them up to his face, trailing his jaw, his cheeks and upwards, to rest the palms of her hands against the dark clad hunter´s temples.

And suddenly, Caius Ballad saw everything.

Saw the entire timeline.

Saw it crystal clear.

Saw exactly what would happen, happened and had happend a gazillion times already.

Blurs.

Voices.

Pictures.

Flashing inside his head like a fast forewarded movie.

Everything.

Everything that would happen from him accepting Yeul´s offer to becoming a L´Cie and receiving the heart of Chaos, the War of Transgression even...

Everything that would happen to Lightning and Yeul and him and how everything ended in their endless fight up in Valhalla...

How everything was connected.

Was connected in an eternal circuit.

How they fought and how it ended.

And how it would start anew.

A thousand years back in the past.

Yes...

They were all there.

All the answers to all the questions he could have ever posed.

Answers.

But no solution.

And there was pain.

So much pain.

So much pain and grief and regret and fear.

The intesity of it, it paralized him, blinded him.

Made him crumble to the ground in a pittifull shaky mess the second the seeress released him from her prophecizing grip.

Made his eyes glass up in tears and made him burry his face inside his trembling hands.

Cause now, finally, he´d seen it.

Had seen how Lightning had come back to the past, back to the Archylte Steppe.

Had seen how he had killed her.

How he had unleashed the Chaos upon her, upon the whole word actually.

And the realisation of it, it pained him.

Pained him more than anything.

Because it was him.

Was him who´d break her.

Him who´d kill her.

Him who´d doom her.

He somehow already had...

„No... No... It can´t be..."

He couldn´t believe it.

Didn´t want to believe it, it just didn´t want to get inside his head.

The truth...

The cruel truth that had been reveiled right before his inner eye.

Somehow he wasn´t able to accept it, wasn´t able to grasp it yet.

„Caius..." the blue haired girl sounding suddenly concerned, she took another tiny step closer as slowly extending her small hand, she carefully reached out for him.

„No! Don´t touch me!" he almost yelled at her as panickingly he scrambled away from her.

The guardian to be removing his hands from his face in the process, the young tiny seeress, she found his features contorted in pain, his eyebrows furrowed in helpless disbelieve, found his dark haunted eyes glistening with tears. And it was drawing shallow ragged breaths that he shied away form her, that he retreated on all fours, retreated until he felt the hard surface of the stone wall bump into his back, where he just collapsed on the floor again to stare down at his shaking hands, wet now with his tears.

Those same hands that just seconds ago he had seen kill her, that had been leading the blade that had cut his beloved´s throat.

And he could still feel it.

Could still feel the hilt of that giant sword against the palm of his right hand.

Still felt the soft texture of her hair inside his left one, right where he had held her head in place.

Still felt the resistence of her broken body, as even then she had fought there to escape her fate.

And he knew that it was true.

That everything he had seen was true.

Was real.

And suddenly it all made sense.

The reason she had known him.

The reason she had feared him.

The reason she couldn´t trust him, couldn´t allow herself to love him.

The reason she had never told him.

It had been there...

Had been there all along.

Their fight...

The answer...

But he hadn´t seen it.

How was he supposed to guess?!

And Yeul...

What about Yeul?

All those Yeuls...

„Can you see it now Caius...? Can you?" the girl in question asked him carefully.

„The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die..."

Her voice, it was ringing in his ears, was bouncing around the walls of his head.

And he almost couldn´t bear it.

The way she talked to him.

The way she threw the truth at him.

As if it didn´t matter.

As if she didn´t even care.

As if she didn´t know, as if she couldn´t see how much it pained him, how much it tortured him.

Mercilessly.

Yes, Yeul was merciless.

And so was fate...

„I have seen it. Have seen you do it a million times..."

Her voice was low, dead and calculated, completely devoid of emotion, as slowly she made to set herself into motion again, as slowly she made to approach him.

One tiny step after the other.

„You killed her Caius..."

„You are going to kill her again..."

„You always kill her in the end."

The small girl crouching down in front of him, her piercing green eyes found his to capture them in a rather cruel stare.

„And do you know why?" she asked, giving a sinister small chuckle.

„Because you just can´t bear to loose her..."

The completely devastated male cowering with his back slumped against the high stone walls of the seeress´ temple, he could only continue to look up in confusion.

„Yes it´s true."

„If you don´t show up to fight her in Valhalla, you would have never met her in the first place..."

„No deaths. No Chaos. No timetravel..."

The purple haired man narrowing his eyes in disbelieve, Yeul could almost see the wheels of his brain working behind that handsome face of his.

„You see... In the end you are just too selfish to let her go..."

„No... I can´t believe it! It´s not true! I´d never do that!"

This time he really yelled at her.

The world around him slowly crumbling, he had no strenght left inside him to control his temper.

„And still she´s here..." the blue haired girl threw in instantly.

The guardian to be, he repeatedly shook his head in denial.

His limbs getting heavy and his vision strangely blurring, he couldn´t help but realise he felt light headed, felt the weight of what he had just learned begin to crush him, the truth of what he had just found out starting to close in on him.

And suddenly the air around him, it felt hard to breathe.

And suddenly the earth beneath him seemed to shake, to spin.

But it was actually just him, or was it?

And suddenly staying there and concscious and sane took some real effort, took almost more than he had actually left inside him, more than he was sure he was actually able to give.

And suddenly there was this hell sent wicked girl again, that face, those empty alien green eyes, only inches from himself.

And he had to get away from them, away from her, away, as fast as he could.

Yes, he needed to escape.

Trying to flee on his hands and knees, there was a desperate panicky sound escaping his throat, the second that he bumped straight into the stone wall again the moment that he beat retreat. And it was glasping his head in both of his hands that he collapsed back to the ground, that he curled up into a tiny ball, a pittyfull shaking heap of limbs right at the tiny seeress´ feet.

And it was flinching like electrocuted, that the poor defeated hunter shied away the second that she made to touch his arm, his shoulder.

That touch of her´s sending tiny aching shocks of pain, stabbing like a thousand knives, through every single cell of his body, through every single fibre of his entire being, it was a torture of it´s own as she leaned in to turn him over. To make him lie there on his back. To make him face her, forced to look into her eyes.

 _Yeul..._

„Oh Caius..." she whispered somewhat sadly. An almost pained sounding note creeping into her voice as she saw her future guardian squirming in front of her with torment.

„I am the one that lives in all the ages. I am the one that dies in all the ages. I am the one who suffers countless partings. Again and again..."

„I have seen it all..."

„I know it´s painful."

„I know it´s sad."

„I know it´s tough. But so are you? Aren´t you?"

Reaching out to touch his face, she brought her fingers up to his cheek to wipe away some of the dark clad hunter´s tears.

„You need to be tough Caius..."

„If you can´t be tough for anyone else. Be tough for her..."

The touch of those small cool hands there on his face, it instantly made the purple haired hunter snap out of his stupor.

 _Lightning..._

He needed to get back to her.

He needed to set things straight.

He needed to appologize...

How in Pulse´s name was he going to appologize?!

How could he even ask her to forgive him?!

He knew she couldn´t do it...

Nobody could possibly forgive something like what he had done...

 _Noone._

It was impossible...

It´d be foolish to even try.

Nevertheless...

He was back on his knees in a matter of seconds.

It wasn´t too late yet, or was it?

He could still do something.

Still change things, right?

RIGHT?!

„Caius... You still have a fate you must fulfill." the child just stated coolly.

„Become my guardian, Caius. Become my guardian and take the first step on the path that will lead her back to you. That will make you get to know her in the first place..."

The young seeress offering her hand for him, her open palm waiting somewhere at the hight of his face, his whole body trembling uncontrollably, Caius Ballad only shook his head.

„Please Caius... I need you there with me. I need you by my side. I have been waiting to find you, for us to be reunited, for such a long time."

„I have foreseen my own death countless times already... Have been dying for all my life... Just waiting to be reborn again. Just so I could live again... So one day, finally, I could be with you..."

The small young girl staring down at him, with her eyes so utterly empty just a few seconds before suddenly so full of sadness, full of longing, full of the desperate plea she coudn´t allow herself to voice, that he´d just accept her, that he´d just love her like he was supposed to do, that he´d become her guardian no matter what, Caius Ballad only shook his head again.

„No." he said.

His voice was steely and his tone was cool.

He had made up his mind.

He was not going to waver.

No matter what she did to him.

She couldn´t change his decision.

And it was without even glimpsing at the seeress´ open hand that he made to get back on his feet, his whobbly legs, not even sure they´d support his weight, he didn´t even care as using the wall behind him for support, he slowly made to stumble back towards the exit, back towards the light.

„This is our future Caius! Our fate! Our destiny! I can see it... I could always see it! And it never changes!" the seeress cried behind his back.

He just pretended not to hear her, as leaning against the wall heavily, he extended one of his hands to brush aside the blasted lightly woven veil to cast the darkest shadows of the temple into the autumn suns´ bright light.

The girl behind him giving a tiny shocked gasp, turning around to look at her one last time, Caius Ballad took in those pale delicate features for what he hoped would be the final time in his entire life.

„No matter what you do... No matter what will happen, or what you decide to do... You´ll become my guardian, regardless." she just yelled after him.

„You always do."

„ _You_ must bear the burden of the eternal paradox..."

* * *

 _There are moments which mark your life._

 _Moments, when you realise nothing will ever be the same again._

 _And time is divided into two parts:_

 _Before and after this._

\- John Hobbes, Fallen

* * *

Leaning against one of the high stone pillars supporting the ceiling of the temple of the seeress, Paddra Nsu-Yeul just gave a low frustrated sigh.

 _Caius..._

Talking to her future guardian, she knew her time was short.

But she also knew that no matter how much his affection for Lightning was blinding him right now, in the end, when finally the time would come for her to die again, he´d be back there by her side where he belonged.

Would be there to hold her hand.

He always was.

Yes...

Things did always differ a little with every fresh run of the cycle...

She had seen it before, hadn´t she?

Yes...

There once had been a Lightning who didn´t even bother to seek her out in Paddra and a Caius who hadn´t bothered to save the time traveller as he found her in that clearing in the first place.

There´d been in fact a lot of Caiuses who had found their way to her completely without the pink haired warriors aid.

There´d even been a Caius once who had come to her completely of his own accord. Who had chosen to become her guardian without her even asking...

The memory of it, it brought a small sad smile to the young girl´s pinkish lips.

Yes, she had to have met a million Caiuses already.

A Caius who liked to carry her around on his shoulders, a Caius who liked to whistle, a Caius who liked to braid her hair...

No matter their qualities, no matter their reasons for joining her, in the end they always fulfilled their fate.

There was no way a small stupid thing like love was going to make any difference here.

Nothing ever had.

But the Caius from this times...

He was especially hard to convince.

That much she had to admit.

Never had she met a Caius so stubborn, so determined.

 _Constants and variables..._

The cycle...

She had witnessed history unfold again and again a countless times. And although for the most part things always stayed the same, it were the small things, those small differences, unimportant in the bigger picture, that made every single one of them unique.

And just like with herself, like every newborn Yeul was slightly different, every Caius, every Lightning was unique as well...

 _Oh Caius..._

„The one who can control the timeline..."

„It is you..."

She whispered into the emptyness of her dark high temple, that cage that she was cursed to live in right until the fall of this proud and modern city.

„It has always been you..."

There was noone there to hear her.

The man supposed to be her guardian had left.

„Caius..."

It didn´t matter.

He´d come back.

„You are the pinacle of destiny..."

Time...

Time was going to kill everyone.

„You are the crux of history..."

Ultimately.

In the end.

„You _are_ the eternal paradox... Aren´t you?"

* * *

 _The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world._

 _We all make our choices._

 _But in the end,_

 _our choices make us._

\- G-Man (Half-Life 2) / Andrew Ryan (Bioshock)

* * *

 _ **Would you, kindly?**_

* * *

Caius Ballad, the tall strong hunter once so proud, so determined, he suddenly found himself drowning in a sea of selfhate, of selfloathing.

A sea without a shore.

A bottomless swump swallowing him whole, he could never possibly manage to escape from ever again.

And the truth, it was there, was killing him, was tearing at his insides and threatening to rip him apart as hurrying back through the maze of towering canyons and ravines of the Vallis Media, barely able to keep himself on his feet, stumbling and tripping, not even seeing where he was actually going, it wasn´t only once that he fell down to his knees, fighting hard to get up on his legs again.

He had left in a hurry.

Blinded by his panic, his pain, he hadn´t even bothered to retrieve his Chocobo.

Had actually completely forgotten that he had arrived on one.

And it was completely paralized, without a plan, without any supplies whatsoever, that he had made his way into one of the Yaschas Massif´s darkest nights.

A thick dark wall of clouds obscuring the usually bright nightsky once again, there was not even a tiny spark of light to guide him throught the darkness of this place, the darkness of his very heart, his soul, his being. No one there to guide him or to hold his hand as this time it was his turn to break down crying, sobbing uncontrollably, on the cold hard valley ground of those ancients mountain ridges.

And he still couldn´t believe it, couldn´t bring himself to wrap his head around that fact that he was merely a pawn.

A pawn being played by the giant hand of destiny.

For what?

For the amusement of some crazy twisted God´s, laughing down at him, gloating over his misfortune, his misery?

Was that why this was done to him?

The destruction of space and time, of all forms of life as some form of home entertainment for some cruel twisted superiour beings?

Maybe it was...

And he felt helpless and weak and guilty, and worthless, and bad... He felt like shit.

Because how could she even let him do this?!

How could she let him kiss her?

How could she let him become her friend, her companion?

How could she even look at him?

Him?!

The one who she knew was going to kill her.

The one who she knew was going to kill her beloved sister, her friends, everybody.

The one to tear down time and space and all forms of existence...

What for?!

Shit, looking at it from her perspective he had actually already done all that!

And he couldn´t bear it.

The thought of what he had done, of what he was going to do, again and again, until finally all things would end eventually in one big final implosion.

Seeing all those people die...

Lightning.

Serah.

The young man he had called Noel...

Seeing all those Yeuls.

Dying.

Over and over.

How he had sworn to protect them.

All of them.

How he had promised Lightning he would find a way.

That he would find a way to make things change...

And in the end...

He couldn´t...

He couldn´t protect anybody.

And he never would.

He was a monster...

The only thing he was created to do was destroy.

Destroy the whole world as people knew it...

Destroy...

And kill...

Kill the ones he loved.

No...

There certainly was no forgiveness, no redemption for the likes of him.

* * *

 _Pain is just a temporary process._

 _It infests you only for a limited duration._

 _It is giving up that turns it into something real._

 _Something eternal._

* * *

(Silent Hill 1 OST – Not tomorrow (again;))

* * *

It was night in the Archylte Steppe.

Midnight was already approaching with fast wide strides and eventhough the sky was dark and the breeze was cool already, there were still people gathered there around the hunter´s village blazing fires.

Eating, drinking, singing, dancing together, content with their primitive lives, it wasn´t something Etro´s fallen champion would ever be able to share with them.

That deep rooted almost unconditional happyness, that harmony with the world around them, with their very being.

It seemed to come from right within them.

Was somehow everywhere.

Evident in the way they talked, they walked, prepared their meals. The way they acted...

For some strange reason there was rarely seen a sad expression.

Lightning didn´t even care to watch them.

Didn´t even glimpse at them.

No.

She had better things to do.

Leaning against the ballustrade of the highest platform of the main building, all of her senses on high alert and her eyes squinted hard against the darkness of that dreary night, it was almost desperately that she scanned the Steppe around for movement, searched the tall high grass for _him,_ just like she had done those last four previous nights.

Waiting.

Hoping against all hope that he was going to return.

That he was going to come back to her...

Unable to stop worrying, to come down and relax, unable to give up hope yet, she hadn´t even bothered to return to her bed at Cara´s hut.

There was no usen in even trying.

She knew sleep would evade her anyway.

Would do so like it had done all those nights before.

Yes...

She hadn´t properly slept since the day that Caius Ballad had left her...

Or had it been her who had left him?

Suddenly she wasn´t so sure anymore...

Yes, maybe it had been her.

Her who´d driven him away with her cold and stupid behaviour.

Maybe he just didn´t want to see her anymore...

She understood.

The way she had treated him...

Now that she thought about it, it really wasn´t something to be proud of...

No way to treat a loved one, that much was for sure...

 _Shit..._

If she only had the chance to tell him...

To tell him she was sorry.

To tell him she had changed her mind.

Because she had.

Or had she?

 _Fuck..._

What was she to do?

Should she go after him?!

Should she try and find him, stop him?!

No...

There was no use in that.

It was too late now.

He had a four days headstart already.

There was no way she could possibly catch up with him.

He had most probably reached the temple of the seeres about two days ago now.

If he had really gone there in the first place...

The chance that he hadn´t accepted the seeress´ offer yet was only very slim, zero actually...

Could she have actually stopped him?

Should she have even tried?

No...

She already knew it would have done no good.

If fate wanted it...

There was nothing she could do to intervene.

Still...

There was still that tiny spark of hope inside her, telling her that maybe he would come back, that maybe he hadn´t gone there in the first place...

That maybe he had just taken a stroll to the woods, the valleys, that maybe he had somehow lost his way or gotten himself injured...

Yes...

What if he had gotten himself injured?!

What if he couldn´t make it back himself?

What if he needed her?

Yes...

Maybe he needed her help...

Badly...

And her?

She just wasn´t there for him...

That one time that he needed her, she wasn´t there...

Was sitting around on her stupid ass and gazing into the distance.

He could have gotten himself attacked by some beast, could have gotten sick, he could have gotten himself killed for Etro´s sake...

And it was her...

Her who had pushed him away in the first place.

And it was right there, worried sick about her companion´s well beeing, that Lightning almost missed it.

That subtle way the high grass parted.

That tiny glimpse of movement somewhere in the rightmost corner of her eye.

And it wasn´t until the huge wooden front gates of the steep high walls protecting the hunter´s village opened just a tiny crack, that her stomach doing a crazy backflip, she realised there was someone out there... Someone sneaking in again.

„Caius?!"

She was up on her legs and ready to dart down the stairs before the intruder had even had the time to close the gate behind them.

* * *

 _ **Constants.**_

 _ **And variables.**_

* * *

Caius Ballad returned to the small hunter´s village with a lump in his throat and a bad twisted feeling in his insides.

He was already dreading it.

The moment when he would come to look into her eyes.

 _Lightning..._

Somehow he wasn´t sure he was able to face it yet.

The pain he had somehow always seen there in those pretty pale blue eyes.

That pain now he knew had been caused by him.

Because yes.

It had been him, had been him all this time...

He had caused her all this sorrow, all this pain...

He had made the world around her crumble and had taken away those she loved.

He was a monster...

How the hell had he come up with the idea, that she could love him?!

That she could actually love him back?!

How could he expect her to accept him, to trust him, to be comfortable around him?!

No...

He had asked too much from her...

Far too much.

All that time...

And it was walking down the main road with a sad sinking feeling in his heart, approaching the main building with it´s big warm fires, that the purple haired man scanned the nearing crowd for the time traveller´s exotic pink hair.

She wasn´t among them.

Of course...

Where was she then?

He dearly hoped she hadn´t left yet.

Hoped she had returned to the village in the first place!

That she hadn´t gotten herself lost or killed there in the depts of those dark swamplike forrests.

That she hadn´t made for the city of Haerii or wherever she was headed like she had been there back when he had last seen her.

Completely without supplies.

Completely without anything.

Not even a blanket or some warm clothes.

No she had to still be around here somewhere.

 _Please..._

His heart giving a terrible painful twinge with every tiny step he took, slowly Caius Ballad turned to walk down towards Cara´s hut, past those few high growing bushes and darkened empty huts, the anxious feeling in his stomach, it was growing worse and worse the closer he got to his final destination.

She just had to be in there...

She would.

Right?

 _Please just let her be there..._

His hopes draining from his heart with every single meter, he felt his pulse speed up in terror.

What if she wasn´t there?

What if she had left without telling anyone where she was off to?

What if he wasn´t able to find her, to ever see her, talk to her again?!

He wasn´t sure whether he could bear it.

To loose her.

To loose her in that way.

To loose her without even the chance of explaining himself, without even the chance to appologize.

Would she even hear him out?

Would she even listen to him?

Would he even be able to bring out the words?

He wasn´t sure.

And he wasn´t even half down the path to Cara´s hut, that he almost stopped to turn around, that his courage almost left him.

Because he knew...

He somehow knew, she wouldn´t be happy to see him.

Why would she?!

He had killed her for Pulse´s sake!

And suddenly there was that rustle of leaves...

That cracking sound of snapping twigs...

And then.

That voice.

That sweet familiar voice.

„Caius..."

And suddenly she was there right behind him, grabbing his arm with both her hands and dragging him into a darkened alley right between two cabins.

 _Finally._

She was going to do him in.

He had wondered why she hadn´t actually done this earlier.

Why she hadn´t tried to kill him from the second she had layn eyes on him...

And he didn´t even care to defend himself.

Because yes, he deserved it.

He really did.

He just hoped that whatever it was she had planned for him, it would be quick, and relatively painless.

That she wouldn´t torture him, like he knew she should.

Those small delicate hands pushing him down the narrow alley it was only seconds later that she had him where she wanted.

Right there in the shadows of those cabins.

Where nobody would see them.

Where nobody would interfere.

The dark clad hunter, he didn´t put up a fight.

He had no will to defend himself.

If she wanted him dead, then so be it.

And then there were those eyes.

 _Her eyes..._

Her devastating beautyfully pale blue eyes.

Blazing at him.

And it was before he even knew it that he found himself with his back against a wall.

Found himself with a pair of arms passionately slung around his neck and a pair of soft pinkish lips pressing there against his own...

The completely unexpected gesture, it made the absolutely perplexed hunter´s heart stop beating all together, made his body freeze in silent shock, rendered him unable to respond at all, as for a few long seconds he just stood there rooted to the spot, uttterly spellbound, without a clue of what to do, of what was going on, of what had actually happened.

And it took him almost half a minute until he managed to recover, until he managed to put his hand´s to his companion´s hips to gently, ever so gently, try and push her away.

She let him do it without resistance.

Happy to feel his touch on her.

Happy to finally be able to look into his eyes again.

And she was relieved, so infinitely relieved that he was back again.

That he was back with her.

And alright.

Alive.

And breathing.

And she almost made to pull him close again, almost made to connect their lips once more, as suddenly her gaze trailed upwards to his eyes.

Their gazes locking instantly, Etro´s fallen champion immediately knew something was off.

„Caius?"

Disentangling her fingers from within his purple hair, she brought one hand up to touch his cheek.

Yes...

Something was off, terribly off.

That man standing there in front of her, the man she had just kissed, he wasn´t the Caius Ballad he was supposed to be.

No...

His expression...

His eyes...

The way he looked at her...

It was so different.

Was so wrong.

And then she saw it.

Saw it in those dark haunted amethyst eyes of his.

Saw the sadness, the pain, the longing, the despair.

And then suddenly she felt it.

Felt it hit her.

Hit her like a train.

 _He knew._

Caius Ballad _knew_.

„Caius... Where have you been?"

The happiness, the relief, the indescribably nice feeling she had gotten from finally seeing him again, from finally seeing him alive and well and unscathed slowly draining from her body, she instantly felt them replaced by fear, by horror, as looking up into his face, she saw it, the pain, the grief, the regret she had been staring at there in Valhalla.

It was there.

Was already there.

And she felt the blood in her veins run cold, turn to ice even, felt her heart sinking, sinking with the speed of a ten tons piece of cargo.

Felt it drown.

Drowning in a wave of despair.

And her voice was suddenly fragile, barely a whisper.

And the guardian...

The guardian to be...

He didn´t even bother to answer.

Because he didn´t.

Didn´t need to.

The pink haired warrior, she already knew.

Knew anyway.

Yes.

She could tell.

Could tell from the way he looked at her, from the way his eyes bore into her´s.

Pleadingly.

Desperate.

And Hurt.

The pain in his gaze, it pierced her heart and went straight to her very soul, the very core of her being, then back to stab her heart again.

Yes...

He had been with _her_.

And she had told him.

Had told him everything.

 _Yeul_...

„I´m sorry." He said and his voice was heavy, drenched with guilt and regret and pain, and his words were bitter with grief and sorrow, and she knew, just knew he wasn´t appologizing for leaving without telling, but for something else entirely and for a tiny second there she felt her heart stop beating, felt her breathing hitch and her blood stop circulating in her body.

And there was that moment where she didn´t even dare to breathe.

Where the world around her suddenly stopped turning and the birds around her suddenly just stopped to sing.

Where the breeze suddenly ceased to blow in her hair and her voice would simply fail her.

Fail her just like that.

And then suddenly there were his lips, crushing down on her´s, covering her´s in needy desperate kisses, as his hands finding her hips again, he pushed her backwards into the wodden wall of the other side of the alley, one of his hands coming up to cup her cheek, while the other sneaked around the small of her back to pull her closer, to hold her close there to his body.

And her hands they crawled up to his chest, his shoulders, wandering all the way up to the back of his neck again where they could pull him down to her.

And they were burning.

Were burning again.

Their hearts set on fire in the most pleasant way imaginable.

Their hands clawing at each others skin, their tongues engaged in mortal combat, it was nothing like the kiss from the night there in the clearing.

It was wild and untamed, savage almost.

Just like the Archylte Steppe, manifested in their hearts.

And it was gasping for air that finally the two of them broke apart again.

Looking up into Caius Ballad´s eyes, Etro´s fallen champion, she found confusion and surprise there, staring right back at her through those brilliant pools of purple only inches from her own now.

Yes.

To say he was „surprised" was actually the understatement of the century.

Because the guardian, he didn´t, didn´t understand a thing.

Didn´t understand what had happened or what was going on.

Didn´t, couldn´t, understand how she could actually allow him to kiss her, to hold her, to be anywhere near her.

He didn´t deserve it.

Any of it.

The things he was going to do...

The things he had already done...

Had alread done to her!

Unable to find the words to say, the completely startled male just continued to stare down at her, continued to hold her, to hold her close with shaky gentle hands.

„I lost you... The moment that I found you I had already lost you..." he finally choked out.

It wasn´t like he had been planning to say it.

His vocal cords were acting on their own accord.

The purple haired hunter´s eyes staring down at her, so infinitely sad, so pained, Lightning only shook her head.

She didn´t need to ask what he was talking about.

The way he looked at her, it told her more than any amount of words ever could, told her everything she needed to know.

„No Caius..." she whispered, her lips brushing against his with every tiny syllable they formed.

„The day I met you... I had already lost myself. You... You were the one who pieced me back together..."

The guardian to be opening his mouth to object, leaning up on her tiptoes, the pink haired female quickly silenced him in kisses again.

And she knew it was wrong.

Knew this was bad and definitely not the way it was supposed to be.

Knew this was nothing like the timeline she remembered.

But for once she didn´t care.

Didn´t give a shit.

The feeling of his arms around her, of his chest ontop her´s...

The feelings of his lips against her´s...

It was addictive.

Was amazing.

Absolutely breathtaking.

And she found she suddenly really didn´t care anymore.

Didn´t care about the future, or the timeline, or the world.

Didn´t care what all her actions might ensue.

Because for the very first time in her entire life, what she did felt right.

And it was holding on to her companion tightly, that she parted her lips, that she allowed him to taste her tongue again.

And that moment.

It was their´s.

Their´s only.

Nothing that could ever be taken away from them.

Something etched into both their memories forever.

Never to be erased again.

And it was right there in that dark small alley, that she just let go.

Let go from all those fears.

Those restraints.

Those responsibilities she had loaded on her back all those years into the future.

Completely losing herself in that kiss of their´s, she barely found the strenght to stop there, even for a tiny breath, and it was only a few minutes later that finally gasping for air again, the two of them had to pull apart once more, their foreheads resting against each other´s, to feel their lover´s laboured breaths puffing against their lips, their cheeks.

And Lightning knew she loved him, needed him the exact same way that he needed her.

Knew that she never wanted to let go...

And it was him.

Had always been him.

Only him.

„Caius..."

The guardian to be, he just loved the way she breathed his name.

Desperately.

Needy.

Like she never ever wanted him to stop.

And it occured to him right there, right then, that maybe they were both broken.

Broken beyond repair.

* * *

 _If Chaos is a work of art,_

 _then my heart,_

 _it is_ _a masterpiece._

\- D. Antionette Foy

* * *

 _ **By changing your mind, you can change everything.**_

* * *

(Several quotes used from FFXIII-2 and LR as well as Bioshock 1 and infinite.)

So finally, huh?

Who´d been anticipating this to happen, come on guys!

REVIEWS THIS TIME PLEASE.^^

I THINK I´VE EARNED THEM ;) ;) ;)

Also countdown for the end has started.

Only three more chaps to go.

Hope you like the direction things are going.;)

Don´t expect next chap to come that fast though.

It´s the last one I really have to put some more work into.

Please stay tuned!

* * *

 **Thanks for your support! You are awesome!**


	14. Chapter XIII: Shards of Time

Sorry guys for this awefully long wait but this chapter really was the hardest to write. It almost made me give up way through. Anyway. Thank you for all those reviews and your kind support.

I won´t keep you any longer.

Please enjoy.

* * *

 **Caution!** Serious romantic content ahead!

* * *

Gustavo Santaolalla – Pajaros

 **CHAPTER XIII: SHARDS OF TIME**

 _Time is very slow for those who wait._

 _Very fast for those who´re scared._

 _Very long for those who lament._

 _Very short for those who celebrate._

 _But for those who love,_

 _time is eternal._

\- William Shakespeare

* * *

Time...

Time rots everything.

And just like over the course of centuries it would rot Caius Ballad´s heart, leaving nothing but an emtpy shell, a phantom, it also crushed Lightning´s hard feelings towards him.

Her reluctance.

Her insecurities.

Her fears.

Made them crush and crumble and turned them into something else entirely.

The haunting memories of the old Caius gradually replaced by the new kind and caring one, the man whome she had thought her bitter enemy, he came to be the man she loved.

And although it was time that had caused her so much trouble, so much pain, it was also time that helped her mend her wounds.

Helped her settle in there in that long forgotten past.

Helped her forget and let go.

Accept her fate.

Her destiny.

Yes...

She would stay in the past, her new present, for as long as she lived.

There was nothing she could do about this.

But maybe that wasn´t the worst thing that could have happened allthogether, was it?

No... Now that finally she had found someone to share her time with, something like a family, the prospect of staying there, it suddenly didn´t seem so bad anymore at all.

Yes.

She wouldn´t return to Coccon, to Serah, to the future.

Not in this life.

It was true.

But that was okay.

As long as she would be with Caius Ballad, it would be okay.

She would stay here until the day she died and return to the Chaos she had been created from, just to be reborn over a thousand years into the future without an ounze of knowledge about everything that had once happened, that was going to happen, really.

And she would do it again.

Everything.

Would repeat all her mistakes, all her choices, all her wrong decisions.

She would see Serah again and her family and Caius...

Another Caius...

One she wouldn´t recognize even if she were able to remember her previous life.

No, she wouldn´t, because he´d be nothing like the Caius she once knew.

Time would have turned him into the fierce relentless warrior she had already met there in the timeless realms, that dark shadow, more a monster than a man, completely devoid of all the qualities that had once defined the Caius Ballad she had loved. All that kindness, that compassion, that affection, slowly smothered by the grief, the pain, the sorrow, the despair of centuries – a toxic mixture that would one day tear apart the axis of reality and embrace the Chaos.

The Chaos leaking from the void beyond and into the world of the living.

The Chaos around us, within us.

All of us.

But there was still time.

Still time until that very day.

So much time until she would stand there in that exact same place at that exact same time once more.

Time...

It would not wait...

No matter how hard she tried to hold on...

It´d escape her...

Yes...

She knew it couldn´t stay like this forever.

She knew he couldn´t stay with her forever.

She _knew_ that.

Knew, that soon he would have to leave her.

Knew he had to leave for Yeul.

She had known that.

Had known all along.

And sure it would be painful.

Sure it would be sad.

But in the end, she´d just have to let go.

She´d have to let him go.

This was just the way things were.

It was their path.

A path that had been laid out for them ever since the beginning of time itself, that they were destined to walk until the end of all eternity.

And it hurt...

But it was okay.

It was okay because although the idea of parting from him pained her, pained her a lot, there was always that thought at the back of her mind, that tiny spark of hope, that soft gentle voice that kept whispering at the back of her head, telling her that although she wouldn´t see him again, not in this lifetime at the least, in a thousand years from now, in another life, another universe, in some alternate reality, they´d meet again.

Yes...

She´d be born again and she´d be on her way.

On her way to meet him again.

And maybe, just maybe, something tiny, something small, something insignificant, would be different, granting them a few more days, a few more hours, a few more precious moments spent together.

Or at least that was what she hoped.

For she knew that time, it´d come too soon.

All too soon.

Of course it would.

There was no denying this.

There´d never been.

But now, for the time being...

All was well.

* * *

 _Time is a fickle thing,_

 _It passes fast in moments of bliss and joy,_

 _so there is never enough of it._

 _It stretches out endlessly_

 _in times of hardship, times of torment._

 _A moment without joy, is an eternity of sadness,_

 _and a tiny glimpse of happiness, no matter how short,_

 _has the power to erase aeons of pain, of suffering._

 _But be aware, however cruel,_

 _history is a lesson better not to be forgotten._

 _For those who cannot remember the past_

 _are condemmned to repeat it._

 _-_ George Santayana (Altered)

* * *

„I simply love that smile... You really gotta smile more often..." Caius Ballad´s voice was tickling the sensitive skin right under her left ear.

The pink haired warrior closing her eyes at the pleasant sensation, she couldn´t help but feel her lips twist upwards. Her facial muscles moving completely on their own, there would have been no way for her to stop them, not even if she wanted.

Well...

There was no need try to do so anyway.

„Yeah... Exactly like that..." the guardian whispered, before leaning in a little closer, he placed a gentle tiny kiss right on the corner of her mouth.

They were sitting in the waist high grass again, right up there in the spot beneath the single oak tree, that place they visited so often now, as hidden from the sight of prying eyes by the thick tall vegetation of the Archylte Steppe, they enjoyed the safety of their now shared sanctuary.

A few weeks had passed since their first shared kiss there in the clearing of the forest, a few short weeks since the purple haired hunter had returned from the temple of the seeress, a few short weeks passed with secret kisses, gentle touches and meaningful glances, with soft words and nights spent holding hands infront of those small warm crackling fires.

Those past few weeks, they had been bliss, had been soothing to their aching souls.

Like a peaceful evening after a long exhausting working day, like a relaxing bath after travelling through the raging gusts of a cold fierce storm.

And it was a warm summerly wheathered day, unusually warm for that time of the year. With the clouds parting to let the sun pass through and the gentle breeze carrying a whiff of those past few hotter months, those last few blissfull days, they were the death rattle of the summer.

Yes.

Winter would approach soon.

The autumn had turned the grass of the Archylte Steppe brown already.

Brown and withered and dry.

And it were the last rays of the dying sun, that were twinkling through those tall high culms that threw warm dancing shadows on their faces, on their skin, the last rays of the dying sun that painted the sky above them in a million brilliant colours again.

The dying sun...

They watched it sink behind the sea of mountains in the distance, watched it fade and drown until even the faintest golden glow was gone from the horizon, vanished, to embrace the darkness of another night.

They had spent the last few days running around the Steppe, the forests, the mountains even, eager to gather the very last supplies for winter, busy completing assignments from Cara, or helping the other villagers with preparing the livestock´s stables for the cooler season.

Yes, they had been rather busy.

With all those preparations going on around them, they hadn´t exactly had much time for themselves.

But now that finally most of their work was done, the two of them had decided to take the rest of the evening off, to just escape the hustle and bustle of the main road. At least for a few precious hours.

They did deserve a little break here and then, right?

Well... They could definitely need one.

Slightly stressed by the amount of things still needing to get done, they had almost forgotten how liberating it felt to just let go.

To just exist.

 _Just breathe._

Yes, it was nice to take a timeout.

Nice to have some time to relax.

Nice to spend some time together.

Just the two of them for once.

„If there´s one thing about Gran´ Pulse I´d miss, it´s the stars... I simply love the stars..." the pink haired warrior said out of nowhere. Her eyes trained upwards to admire the vastness of the universe spreading there above them, there were a million tiny stars reflecting in those pools of icy blue.

They had settled to just lie there in the grass together.

With their shoulders touching and their hands entwined, the world around them going off to sleep already and the Steppe veiled in peaceful silence, it was Caius Ballad´s thumb caressing the back of her hand once more that made her throat emit a content happy sigh.

The body contact once so foreign to her, scary even, after all this time, after everything they had been going through together, suddenly it made her feel save and protected there.

Suddenly it felt like home.

 _Home..._

Gazing up into the sky, Lightning was again struck by the beauty of the night, the darkness. Darker then smeared charcoal even. With small splashes of gold and silver twinkling from those pitchblack depths, as if an artist had brazenly attempted to light it without aim, the vast seemingly endless space, it was filled with trillions of glittering stars.

Sparkling and glistening there like diamonds.

Crystal, even.

Just like Cocoon...

Were there people up there on the other stars as well?

Maybe there were.

A million worlds, a million universes.

Infinite possibility...

„The stars..?" her purple haired companion repeated looking at her sceptically, a handsome smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he rolled onto his side.

 _Stars..._

Caius Ballad didn´t care about the stars at all.

His eyes, they weren´t trained skywards.

No.

They were set on her face.

„Yes... They are beautiful..." the woman from the future answered in a dreamy voice, her eyes clued to the sky above, she didn´t seem to notice how his fingers were playing with her hair, didn´t seem to notice the subtle ways he tried to catch her attention.

No.

He had no chance competing against the beauty of the nightsky it seemed.

„Just like you..." The guardian whispered.

His husky voice tickling the skin of her neck again, those words of his, they finally made the pink haired time traveller turn her head to look at him.

Their eyes meeting for a long meaningful moment, it was emitting a tiny giggle that the modest female prostestingly shook her head.

„Don´t be stupid, I´m not beautiful at all..." she argued as propping herself on her elbows, slowly she sat up to meet his gaze.

„You are to me..." was all the guardian could say, as watching his companion´s cheeks blush under the moonlike sheen of the planetoid above, he moved in to kiss her small pinkish lips once more.

He got shoved away before he even had the chance to touch them.

„You must be crazy then!" Lightning contered playfully as targetting her lover´s chest, she pushed him over all the way for him to land on his back.

The thick high grass cushioning his fall, Caius Ballad only gave a tiny huff.

He didn´t know what she was playing at this time but he could tell she was only teasing him, knew whatever it was, it wasn´t something serious this time.

Nothing to get worried about.

„Maybe I am..." he said as reaching up to gently grab her waist, he made to pull her down on top of him.

He knew she couldn´t deny him that kiss forever...

Their bellies flush against each other´s, the guardian´s handsome face only inches from her own, for a few seconds Etro´s fallen champion just lay there, continued to look down at him, loosing herself in those brilliant amethyst eyes of his.

They hadn´t been that close before.

Ever.

But now that finally they were, suddenly she couldn´t imagine being anywhere else.

That man she had so long fought to kill, suddenly under the pale shine of Cocoon, he was irresistable.

„I guess we both are." she whispered. Her voice suddenly hoarse and her throat running dry, she decided to just skip the talking and leaned down to kiss him.

The guardian to be, he didn´t complain.

Not for a second.

She could do with him whatever she wanted.

He was her´s.

All her´s.

There was nothing he wouldn´t do for her.

Absolutely nothing.

And she knew that.

Knew of course.

Knew how important she was to him.

The way he kissed her back, the way his arms were holding her, were holding her so close, the way one of his hands was sneaking to the small of her back and under her shirt to caress her skin, there was no way for that fact to escape her notice.

And they were one.

Knew that they belonged together.

Their lips moving together as if it had always been that way.

As if it were meant to be like this from the beginning.

And it was completely loosing herself in that kiss of theirs, that the pink haired warrior allowed herself to just let go, to give in to those raging tides of Chaos, to give in to _him_ completeley.

Her fingers roaming the hunter´s lean upper body through the soft fabric of his shirt, down from his collarbone over his chest they trailed up to his shoulder again, up to that spot where she had shot him, where a sharp intake of breath from his side told her it still hurt.

She regretted it almost instantly.

Oh how could she have done this to him in the first place?!

Suddenly she couldn´t fathom...

Couldn´t fathom anymore.

She immidiately pulled away to appologize.

„I´m sor -."

He didn´t even let her finish.

Just pulled her even closer.

Kissed her even harder.

And it was only a few moments later that she felt his hands under her shirt again, felt him push it upwards to expose her belly.

The guardian, he found she didn´t bother, didn´t mind, as shifting her weight so she could sit up, the once fierce ex soldier allowed him to push the tiny piece of thin dark cotton all the way up and over her head.

The pink haired female, she instantly felt the cool breeze of the Archylte Steppe on her body, felt it caress her naked alabaster skin, felt her body shiver in the cold of yet another one of Pulse´s autumn nights. But it was only for that tiny moment before her companion´s lips came down on her again. Trailing hot burning kisses all over her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, setting her on fire in the most exquisite way imaginable.

And it was completely loosing herself in the feeling, in that whirlwind of emotions, in that storm of Chaos really, that her hands came down to unbotton his shirt.

Her tiny delicate fingers slowly moving down his chest, exposing a little bit more of the hunter´s sun tanned skin with every tiny button that they found, Caius Ballad had his shirt added to the growing pile of clothes somewhere on the ground right next to them in seemingly no time at all.

And it was bliss, the way she felt his hands there on her sides, her back, her belly. The way she made to lay down on top of him again so she could feel his upper body press against her´s. To feel as much of his skin on her´s as possible. Until her lips found his again.

And then they kissed.

They kissed again.

Parting her lips she let him in to find her tongue.

Met him half way really as he moved to cup her cheek.

And her hands were tangled in his hair again while his were on her face, her back, her shoulders, desperate to hold her close.

Bliss.

Paradise.

And it was aeons before finally they broke apart to breathe.

Aeons before breathing heavily, their noses brushing gently, their gazes met once more.

„Lightning..." the dark haired hunter breathed his loved one´s name.

His voice, it failed him halfway through.

Caius Ballad, the man going to go down in history as the one who destroyed the world, rendered speechless by the beauty of that precious moment.

„Caius?" the pink haired female answered curiously.

There was a tiny note of concern leaking into her voice already as looking up into her companion´s eyes she was met with confusion, with bewilderment.

„Caius, what´s wrong?" she almost blurted, suddenly alarmed at her lover´s sad expression.

The purple haired hunter though, he only shook his head, as gently pushing her away a bit he gave one of his frustrated sighs.

The finger´s of his right hand pensively trailing down the long well healed scar on the pink haired females slender side, she had received from those pack of Gorgonopsid´s the second she had been born into his world, a thin silver line glittering under the shine of Cocoon, Caius Ballad briefly averted his gaze, before finally, his eyes came up to contemplatively meet her pale blue ones again.

„How come you can be with me like that?" he asked. His words suddenly grave and his voice suddenly so infinitely drenched with sadness.

„How can you even look at me?!"

The pink haired warrior, she only stared.

„How come you don´t hate me?!"

Stared helplessly at the man infront of her, as her brain worked hard to grasp the situation. To understand what suddenly was going on.

„You should hate me..."

Her companion´s voice suddenly full of pain and of regret, it where those last few words of his that finally made something inside her click in place.

That finally made her understand what he was actually talking about.

That made her bring up both her hands to gently cup his face.

„Caius, I love you..." she whispered in the darkness, her lips forming those words as if it was the most natural thing for her to say in the world, her voice it didn´t waver and her words, they were sincere.

The purple haired man so close to her, he only pulled away to shake his head.

„I don´t derserve your love." was all that he could say.

His eyes coming up to meet her gaze, those deep dark pools of purple, they were full of remorse, of regret.

„I took everything away from you. From everybody. It was me who put you through all of this in the first place. I mean I even... I even killed you..."

His voice breaking at the last part, Lightning realized she couldn´t watch much longer.

„Caius..."

Letting her voice trail off she straightened up to gently cup his face again.

„I´d rather die a hundred times than never having met you at all."

It was all that she was able to say.

It was everything he needed to hear.

His eyes a crazy mess of pain, regret, of confusion, of relieve, of affection, of awe, the purple haired guardian, he didn´t know what to say.

It didn´t matter.

The pink haired woman´s lips coming down to capture his once more, the two of them met in a passionate kiss instead.

The guardian´s hands sneaking around his companion´s back to pull her closer, the feeling of his body, his skin against her own making pleasant shivers running up and down her spine, the way his chest gently moved against her own with every breath he took...

The taste of his lips against her´s...

The way she felt her body melting away under his touch...

The way she felt his hands there on her belly, her chest, her sides...

She realised she wanted more.

Needed more.

Needed him.

Closer...

She needed to be closer to him.

Her slender feminine fingers wandering down to his abdomen and to the front of his trousers, ready to start working on the buckle of his belt, the sudden touch of her companion´s hand atop of her´s, it made the pink haired female stop to look up at him mid action.

„Lightning... Please... You know I´ll do anything you want me to... But... Are you sure you really want this?" the guardian to be inquired carefully.

He had no intention to actually push her away, to hurt her.

But he had no intention to let her do something she might regret later either.

„I´m sure."

Lightning´s answer came almost instantly.

And it was true.

She had never been surer of herself, her actions, ever before.

Never had she wanted anything as badly as she wanted him.

Never had she needed anything as badly as she needed him.

Never had anything ever felt that right before.

And it was looking up into those familiar amethyst eyes, dark deep pools of purple gazing straight into her soul, smothering her, drowning her, that suddenly the world around themselves stopped turning once again.

Trust...

She trusted him.

More than anything.

Trusted him not to hurt her.

Not to let her down.

Ever.

And she knew that it was wrong.

Was wrong in every possible way she could imagine.

Was wrong because of the timeline, because of the future, because of everything she knew was real...

Knew, that all those things she did, all those things she´d done already were going to doom her. Her and Serah, the future, the timeline...

But somehow it didn´t matter...

Didn´t matter anymore.

There was nothing she could do against it.

The damage was already done.

It was collateral.

 _Constants and variables._

The remainder of their clothes soon discarded to a heap on the ground somewhere next to them, there were only the stars above to witness both their lips, their hearts, their worlds collide, only the darkness of the sleeping steppe to listen to her soft small moans, to listen to his stifled gasps, those tiny words of affection, and the breathless whispers of their lover´s names.

The world around them standing still forever, slowly melting away into a smeary blur, a blur of emotions, and feelings and pleasant sensations, Etro´s fallen champion, she gently closed her eyes. Loosing herself in her lover´s touch.

The darkness.

The Chaos in her very heart.

For once embracing it, instead of trying to defy it.

To fight it.

To conquer it.

And suddenly.

Finally.

For the very first time ever in her life.

She felt complete.

* * *

 _ _Eternity: A moment standing still forever.__

James Montgomery

* * *

 _And in this moment, I swear we were infinite._

\- the Perks of being a Wallflower (altered)

* * *

 _( FFXIII-2 OST – Yeul´s Theme (Lala Version) )_

It was quiet in the Steppe now.

The hovering form of Cocoon immersing the world beneath it in it´s pale silver sheen, for a few long minutes there, Lightning half expected time to freeze and the world around them to crumble into Chaos.

But somehow nothing happened.

The enormous grasslands streching out as vast as ever and the stars still shining bright above, everything was still the same, was still like it was supposed to be.

 _Weird..._

She was lying half on top of him.

With their feet touching gently and her head resting on his chest to listen to his heartbeat, she was still lying in his arms there, ready to forget the world.

The way his chest moved up and down with every breath he took, the way he held her, the way his face was burried in her hair, the way their legs were still entangled, the way he was just there with her, she knew that she belonged to him.

To _him_.

And nobody else.

Listening to the soft autum breeze gently whispering in the dry high grass around them, that soothing sound interrupted only by the tender rustle of the nearby oak tree´s leaves, the pink haired warrior with her eyes shut tight, she let her body relax against her companion´s chest completely.

Finally letting go of her past, those strains, those horrors...

All those terrible things she had had to endure...

Suddenly they seemed so far away.

Didn´t even seem real.

Seemed like nothing but a bad dream, a nightmare she had had a very long time ago.

And it was for the first time there in what had to be half an eternity that she felt whole again.

That she felt at peace with the world.

With herself.

And suddenly she knew that allowing herself to love Caius Ballad, it had been the right decision.

Had been the right decision on so many levels.

Or was it?

Maybe there was no right and wrong at all...

Maybe there hadn´t been from the beginning.

Maybe she didn´t even care anymore...

Propping herself up on her ellbows, the pink haired female carefully made to look into her lover´s eyes.

Kind caring amethyst eyes.

The pale light of Cocoon reflecting in them, those pools of deep dark purple, they lovingly twinkled back at her, twinkled just like the stars above.

Her own set of very personal stars...

Dark obsidian jewels, smoldering in the sourrounding darkness of the Archylte Steppe.

They met her´s with a curious stare.

A soft smile ghosting over the corners of his lips, Lightning didn´t bother resisting the urge to kiss them again.

The feeling of her companion´s lips against her´s, somehow she didn´t seem to get enough of it.

Like ever.

Slowly drawing away again to study his face, his eyes, his nose, the handsome shape of his jaw, her gaze slowly trailing downwards to shamelessly roam the rest of his body, she found herself lingering at the set of prominent scars decorating the hunter´s thorso.

A few whitish streaks standing out against the darker shade of his sun tanned skin.

„What happened to you...?" the timetraveller started, carefully trailing one of those marks with her right hand´s index finger.

And for a few seconds it was quiet again.

The silence only broken by the rustling sound of the dry brown grass softly swaying in the autumn breeze, it took almost half a minute for the guardian to find his voice.

„Nothing... Just a little hunting accident." he said. One of his hands coming down to find her own, she felt the other tracing pleasant patterns somewhere on the small of her back.

The pink haired warrior, she only gave a tiny snort.

„You´re calling that `nothing´?" she said somewhat incredulously, as she continued piercing him with her inquisitive stare.

Caius Ballad sighed in defeat.

Okay...

If she had to insist...

„I´m not nearly as good a hunter as Caine is. And I never was." the guardian started somehow tentatively. The way his hand tightened around her significantly smaller one, she could tell it wasn´t exactly a pleasant memory.

„I was still in my teens when this happened. I was out in the western parts of the steppe with the others... Did some exploring, you know, crawling into crevices, raiding some caves. Kenji and the others, they made a game out of it, a dare..."

„Anyway... Made some stupid mistakes and got myself cornered by a Faeryl." the guardian revealed.

„Turned out teasing a sleeping dragon wasn´t the best of ideas..."

There was a small chuckle coming from his side followed by another tiny sigh.

Then silence.

„If it weren´t for Caine I wouldn´t be lying here with you, I guess." he added somewhat pensively.

„Anyway the damage was done... Faeryl´s fangs are poisonous. I almost didn´t make it. Took me ages to get back on my legs again."

The pink haired warrior, she only stared at him, her eyes huge as she took in the information.

Attacked and injured by a Faeryl...

No this definitely didn´t qualify as `nothing´.

„The worst injury I received in my entire life... Besides the one you gave me of course..." the guardian to be said carefully motioning at the still not completely healed wound sitting there right at his shoulder.

Although the wound had closed alright, the skin around was still bruised, slightly swollen, surely sensitive as hell.

Yes, she knew he could still feel it, knew that it still hurt.

She could clearly see it in the way he held himself, in the way he moved.

That blasted wound...

He´d probably feel it for the rest of his life.

The pink haired warrior flinching as if hit in the face, it was almost instantly that she averted her gaze, suddenly ashamed at her past self´s own behaviour.

„I´m sorry...I..." she started awkwardly.

The purple haired man in front of her, he just silenced her with his lips again.

„Stop excusing yourself... It´s in the past..." he whispered against her skin.

„I forgive you."

 _I forgive you..._

Those words, they weighted heavy on her heart.

Could she ever forgive him for what he had done in her past?

For what he was going to do in his future?

She wasn´t sure...

Maybe she already had.

Maybe she didn´t care anymore.

Maybe she hadn´t for quite some time now.

* * *

 _I want to believe that to love is a choice._

 _For when I glanced at you for the very first time, I had all the chance to look away._

 _But I chose to look a second longer._

 _And there, my world has alienated every single concept that I knew about choice._

 _You are my constant in an ever changing world._

 _You are my today and all of my tomorrows._

 _And I am yours._

 _I am yours as the stars belong to the sky._

 _And I am yours as the rivers belong to the sea._

 _I am yours as your tears belong to your eyes._

 _And I am yours as your lungs belong to the pattern in which you breathe._

\- Christopher Poindexter (altered)

* * *

Time continued onwards.

The pale silver moon called Coccoon looking down on the surface of Grand Pulse, immersing the world below in it´s cool whitish sheen, it was a clear cloudless sky that stretched out over the Archylte Steppe, a fresh autumn night covering those vast plain lands.

They still lay there together.

Hidden in the covers of their secret sanctuary.

The soft autumn breeze caressing the tall high grass of those endless fields as gently as ever, it was already carrying a note of winter, already felt cool against their naked skins.

It was long after midnight when finally the pink haired warrior shifted her weight to get up, her plans diverted instantly by two strong arms closing tightly around her upper body.

The purple haired guardian, he had no intention of letting her go anytime soon it seemed.

„Caius... It´s getting cold." the slender female argued, as tentatively trying to free herself from her companion´s tight embrace, she looked up at him appologetically.

The guardian to be breathing a sigh of relief, it was only reluctantly that he agreed to relax his muscles.

„Sorry... For a moment there I thought you were going to run away from me again." he explained, suddenly feeling foolish for expecting such a thing.

Lightning only stared into his eyes.

There was another rustle of dry leaves and the cry of an owl somewhere in the distance.

„No... I´m done running." she finally said.

Her voice was serious.

Her eyes sincere.

And the both of them knew that it was true.

She was done running.

Was he...?

„Okay. Then let´s go back to the village." the guardian encouraged as waiting for her to get up he searched the dark Steppe´s ground around them for their clothes.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t move an inch.

Looking back at his companion´s face, Caius Ballad found her pretty pale blue eyes fixed on his with a kind and loving smile sitting on her pink soft lips.

„Are you okay?" he asked somewhat confusedly.

It was only seconds before he felt her lips ontop of his once more.

„I don´t remember ever feeling any better." she whispered once she pulled away.

They shared another short meaningful glance before finally the pink haired woman moved to get up on her feet.

Coming to stand right next to her, for a few tiny minutes the purple haired hunter just watched.

Watched her slender female fingers combing through her pretty tresses as she tried to tame the pink mess that was her hair into something representable.

Tearing himself away, it took the guardian some time to locate all their clothes somewhere scattered in the grass around them.

„Here..." he said as carefully he handed her her shirt and undies before turning away again he silently made to dress himself.

„Caius... Thank you."

It was really all that she seemed fit to say.

* * *

The way back to the village had never been so short.

Her legs suddenly carrying her weight with no effort at all, it almost felt like flying the way they seemed to dance beneath her body.

Was this even real, or was it just a dream?

Breathing in the fresh clean air around her, she realized she felt released, felt free.

She had never felt so free before...

Reaching the tall wooden gates of the small hunter´s village in seemingly no time at all, Lightning wasn´t sure her feet had touched the ground at all.

Her legs moving completely on their own, it was without even thinking that she made to take down the path to Cara´s hut.

„Hey, what are you doing?" the guardian called after her almost instanly.

Watching her turn onto the path he knew led to his sister´s hut, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but reach out to catch his lover´s wrist.

Turning around to meet her companion´s baffled stare, the pink haired female wrinkled her eyebrows as if he had just said something incredibly stupid.

„I´m going to get some sleep." she replied incredulously.

„You... You don´t have to sleep at Cara´s..." The hunter offered carefully.

„You could stay with me... If you want to?!"

The way he had said this making it sound more like a question, Caius Ballad knew the woman sensed his insecurities, his apprehension.

Still...

He couldn´t help it.

He still couldn´t believe she was letting him in, was still waiting for her to push him away, for that hand of her´s to slap his cheek any second now.

But it never happened.

The pretty woman there in front of him, she simply blushed instead.

And her slightly confused smile just widened.

„Okay."

* * *

 _Time goes by so fast._

 _Faster most times than you´d like it._

 _It moves so swift when we´re together,_

 _Moves so slow when we´re apart._

 _Stops moving alltogether sometimes,_

 _when you turn to look into my eyes,_

 _when you reach out to touch my heart._

* * *

„Come on, hurry up!"

The sky was obscured behind a thick blanket of dark grey clouds and there was icy cold rain whipping against the skin of their cheeks.

The guardian to be tugging at his companion´s wrist to make her run faster it was taking a short distant sprint that they hurried down the pebbly path to safety.

They´d gotten caught in the rain the second they had entered the village´s wooden walls and it was with their bodies shivering and their clothes and hair soaked with water that finally they reached Caius Ballad´s hut.

It was Kaj´nja-Taa.

The last day of fading autumn, the day that marked the beginning of another winter.

All the preperations had been made already.

And the residents of the hunter´s village were ready for the colder season to come.

Soon the steppe would be covered in a blanket of crystal white snow and it´s numerous creeks trapped under a layer of ice. The tall high grass would wilt to dust to be spread with the chilly cold winds and the once proud trees would loose their leaves completely to one day sprout new ones.

Spring. Summer. Autum. Winter.

Seasons.

Another cylce of it´s own...

Just like those greens, their lives, they were the leaves growing on the giant tree of destiny.

Wilting, dying, fading, to someday be born anew, afresh.

Some day in the future.

Some day in the past.

„Puh that was close." The guardian huffed as he closed the wooden front door of his hut behind them with a final thud.

„You´re calling that close?!" the pink haired female motioned at her completely drenched clothes.

Caius Ballad only gave a tiny chuckle, moved over to her side, gently starting to undress her as he made to open the buckles of those leather straps that held her sword.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t move an inch, only questioningly raised an eyebrow at her companion´s actions.

„What?! You really should get rid of those clothes... They´re soaked." he justified them instantly. „You wouldn´t want to catch a cold before winter has even begun."

„Sure..." the pink haired female acknowledged somewhat sceptically as she let the guardian take off her shirt and pants to leave her standing in her underwear.

She was almost expecting him to undress her completely, already expected to feel his fingers on her skin again, was waiting for it actually, but the guardian to be, he simply turned away from her to cross the room instead.

The pink haired time traveller, she only watched in silence as the man she loved took over to the other side of the room to rummage through his cupboard until he produced another dark worn piece of fabric.

„Here..." he said encouraginly as coming back to her he handed her what she realised was one of his own shirts.

„You can wear this in the meantime..."

She accepted it with an appreciative nod before she pulled the `slightly´ oversized garment over her head.

On her slender female frame, the guardian´s shirt, it looked more like a dress.

Lightning found she didn´t care.

It was warm and soft and smelled like him...

 _Perfect._

„You think wheather will clear by the time of the feast?" she started as turning back to her stuff now scattered on the table she rummaged through her dark brown leather pouch to take a look at what they´d managed to gather earlier that day.

It wasn´t exactly as much as she had hoped for.

„I hope so." came the guardian´s response from the other side of the room.

„Well at least we have those berries Cara asked for." Lightning said, sounding somewhat disappointed at their meager yield.

They had spent almost all day in the forest looking for plants and roots and herbs for the busy purple haired nurse, but with winter waiting on the doorstep it wasn´t exactly easy to come by with a lot of supplies.

Retrieving said fruit from inside a little leather pouch, she gently let them roll into her open palm.

They were small. Red. Juicy.

Lightning had absolutely no idea for what kind of medication Cara would actually use these, but she knew they weren´t much. Weren´t as much as her companion´s sister had expected...

Finally putting the tiny plants back into their bag, the pink haired female let her eyes trail back to the guardian to be now busy disposing of his clothes, admiring his body as she watched a single raindrop fall from his hair and onto his shoulder, making it´s way over his chest and down to his perfect abs.

No... She still couldn´t believe all the things that had happened between them, all the things they had done.

Couldn´t believe she was his...

 _Caius..._

The subject of her musings catching her stare, he just gave her one of his loving smiles.

 _Caius Ballad..._

Watching as he put on a clean dry shirt, the pink haired warrior returned the gesture.

She simply loved it.

That smile of his...

A simple guesture...

That upwards curve of his lips...

The way it touched his eyes, lit up his entire face...

Somehow Lightnig couldn´t get enough of it.

Of _him._

The man with the handsome smile, adjusting his fresh shirt to appoach her, he shamelessly opened her bag to steal some of those precious berris they had gathered on their trip to he forest.

„Hey, they are for Cara!" Lightning barked, instantly slapping his hand away.

The insolent male only gave another chuckle.

„We´ll find new ones." he said, stuffing them into his mouth.

„There´re still plenty of them in the woods."

Lightning only gave him a scowl as she felt her temper rising.

That arrogant bastard.

What was he thinking?!

She hadn´t spent the whole day out there on her legs just for him to eat their harvest!

How could he...

The hunter´s hand reaching into her pouch again, the pink haired female had already opened her mouth in protest, ready to give him a piece of her mind when suddenly she felt one of the berries shoved onto her tongue.

Those words of protest getting lodged somewhere inside her throat, her pale blue eyes went huge the second she felt her tastebuds explode in a burst of the berry´s sweet exotic taste.

Omg... Now she understood...

„They´re good, huh?" the guardian asked looking at her expectantly.

Her answer was drowned out by a deafening growl of thunder and the bright blazing flash of her namesake tearing the darkness of the clouds above.

„We better stay inside for a while..." the guardian suggested carefully.

Lightning found she couldn´t help but agree.

Spending a rainy day inside, the two of them huddled together under their fluffy sheepskin blanket...

She couldn´t exactly imagine a better way to spend her freetime, could she?

* * *

 _Everyone says that love hurts._

 _But that´s not true._

 _Loneliness hurts._

 _Rejection hurts._

 _Losing someone hurts._

 _Envy hurts._

 _Everyone gets these tings confused with love._

 _But in reality,_

 _love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain_

 _and makes someone feel whole again._

 _Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt._

 _-_ Origin unknown

* * *

 _ **If everything´s a dream, don´t wake me.**_

\- Cloud Strife (FFVII)

* * *

Kaj´nja-Taa.

The end of season.

The beginning of winter...

It was one of those rare occasions that was celebrated with a feast.

The preperations for it had been going on for some days now.

Lightning and Caius had watched them passing on the main street on their way out into the Steppe.

Some of the men putting up makeshift benches and tables...

Women and children busily crafting decorations...

With all the preperations for winter done and the land around them going barren and dry, there wasn´t exactly much else the people of the Archylte Steppe had to look forward to.

The weather clearing in time for the celebrations to take their course, they probably could have been seen from Cocoon, those large blazing fires where the hunters burned the dry rotten leaves and those half withered branches. And it could be smelled from miles away, those crisp roasted game broiling over low sizzling flames.

Things were nothing like Lightning remembered from the first feast she had experienced there at the small hunter´s village.

Instead of fancy cute summer dresses and thin cotton shorts, people wore thick fur lined coats, wore long buckskin trousers and high Shaolong Gui leathered boots. The game roasting on it´s giant skewer was deer instead of Behemoth and decorative garlands that had been flashing with bioluminescent flowers of all colours back at Kenji and Imani´s wedding were now made of multicoloured broad dried leaves.

The pink haired warrior slowly making her way over the small market place, past one of those bright warming fires and a crowd of chatting elderly women, she glimpsed her companion up on the first platform of the main building, talking to an already tipsy looking Kenji.

Caius...

Her purple haired lover obviously deep in conversation with his follow hunter giving one of his trademark amused smirks, Lightning couldn´t help but crack a small but content smile.

Watching her companion interact with his friend so carefree, so lightheartedly, she realised she was happy.

Was happy with him.

Happier than she had ever been before.

And it was more and more often these days that she thought that maybe she belonged here after all.

That she belonged here with Caius in this long forgotten past.

This past...

A place she could be happy.

Content.

Safe.

A place where both of them were happy.

Because surely Caius had to be happy too...

He definitely looked like it.

She had never seen him this happy before, had she?

This past...

This place...

It was nothing but an illusion though, or was it?

A paradox...

Created by the gods themselves...

Her feet moving as if on their own, it was slowly that she made past the few market booths, letting her eyes glide over the goods on display.

She had seen Caine before.

Had caught him throwing her some nasty glances...

Yes... This place it wasn´t perfect after all.

But well... At least he hadn´t come over, hadn´t seemed eager to do her any harm.

And the rest of the tribe...

They didn´t pay her any attention either.

No curious glances, no hard stares, no scowls anymore...

It seemed people had gotten used to her as well.

Accepted her presence...

Somehow.

Reaching a booth cramped with an especially high amount of weird things she couldn´t really discern the use of, her eyes suddenly got caught by a tiny sparkling something burried underneath a heap of junk.

Reaching out with her hands to remove something that looked a lot like a small ancient hand mill it took only a few seconds before she had the thing exposed.

The sight of it, it made her hand pull away as if burned.

It was a tiny polished pendant in the shape of Cocoon...

Just like the one Snow had bought for Serah as an engagement present.

 _Serah..._

What was it doing here?!

„Beautiful pendant isn´t it?!" an old wrinkled woman, the vendor, suddenly said out of nowhere.

Lightning couldn´t helt but stare.

That old hag, where had she come from?

She could have sworn she had been alone a second ago...

„You can have it for that leather pouch of yours..." the woman offered carefully, motioning at Lightning´s bag she had taken from the hunter´s armoury what now seemed ages ago.

„It´s more than a fair trade, don´t you think?"

The pink haired warrior, she only shook her head.

„No... Thank you."

She had seen enough.

„I have no use for it."

Swallowing the lump that had suddenly started to form there in her throat, Lightning quickly turned her back on it.

This necklace...

Serah...

Snow...

They were in the past.

Weren´t there anymore.

Not part of her life anymore.

They wouldn´t even be born until a thousand years.

There was no use in thinking about them anymore.

No use mourning her loss.

She had finally come to terms with her past.

With the future.

This wasn´t the time to think about what was, what would, what could have been.

No...

It was time to focus on the present instead.

To just live.

To enjoy the pleasures of the moment as long as they would last.

Yes... It was finally way time to say good bye to her demon´s. To bury them...

Time to settle...

Time to let go...

„Hey, are you okay?"

The guardian to be approaching her with a slightly concerned expression on his face, looking up into his caring amethyst eyes, Lightning couldn´t help but smile.

Yes...

It was time to let go.

Let go forever...

Reaching out to gently take her lover´s hand she gave a tiny but determined nod.

„Yes." she said, giving his slightly bigger hand a tiny squeeze.

„I´m fine."

It wasn´t a pretense.

It was sincere.

She was fine.

More than fine.

For a second there she had felt it, the despair, the pain, the grief, that had been plaquing her for such a long time reaching out for her once more.

But it was gone and suddenly so far away the second she had seen his face.

The past, it was still there somewhere.

Would always be there.

Lurking somewhere in the shadows of her soul.

But it was okay.

It was over.

It wasn´t important anymore.

As long as he was with her it´d be alright.

As long as he was with her it´d be okay.

She´d be okay...

He was her family now.

He was where she belonged.

Yes...

She belonged with him...

Only him.

„Here... I´ve got something for you." the man she loved suddenly said, unexpectedly pulling out a small pink something from within one of his garment´s many pockets.

Taking a look closer Lightning realized it were some of the hunter´s trademark hand crafted tribal beads the inhabitants of that small village used to carry in their hair.

They were several shades of pink with tiny white ones in between and a small rosy feather at the end.

„I... I thougt it ´d match your hair." the guardian to be said somewhat tentatively.

„Thank you..." the pink haired warrior choked out, blushing as she let him put the token of affection into her pinkish strands.

She didn´t exactly know what to say.

„Do you like it?" the man infront of her asked carefully.

„It´s beautiful. I love it." she replied.

And it was true.

She loved it.

She loved everything about it.

Everything about him.

And it was bringing up her hands to rest them at his shoulders that she stood up on her tip toes to gently press her lips against his.

Just because she felt like it.

Just because she wanted to feel their touch on her´s.

And she just loved it.

The gentle way that he responded.

The gentle way she felt his breath tickling the skin of her cheek.

The gentle way he just wrapped his arms around her to just hold her close.

Loved the warmth of his embrace.

And it was slowly pulling away again that she remembered they were standing among a crowd of people, that she realised that somehow nobody was staring.

That somehow nobody seemed to mind.

Yes... Maybe people really had accepted her.

Had put up with her presence.

Had put up with the fact that she was with Caius now.

That she was one of them.

„Come on, let´s get ourselves something to eat." the guardian to be suggested, as releasing her upper body he made to take her hand instead.

„Okay." the pink haired female agreed.

That roasted deer...

She already felt her mouth water at the thought of it.

* * *

„Hey! There you are!" Cara Ballad´s voice greeted the two of them the second that they reached one of those warm crackling fires.

„I´ve been searching the crowd for you two for ages! Where have you been?!"

Grabbing her brother´s upper arm, the busty nurse instantly steered him away and closer to the fire, closer to the elderly man busily cutting down meat and handing it out on ancient wodden plates, away from the pink haired warrior´s tiny hand.

Her companion sending her an appologetic glance, Lightning only gave him a reassuring smile.

It was okay for her.

It was normal for his sister to want to spend some time with him.

She´d just wait there patiently for the two of them to come back, hoping for the guardian to get her something to eat as well.

Sure, she still felt a little uncomfortable in the crowd.

Still felt a little out of place.

But he was there only a few meter away.

Where she could still see him.

And she was glad too.

She still wasn´t sure what the other villager´s thought of her...

It was a pleasant high pitched femal voice, that made her snap out of her musings.

„Hey, you... Lightning, right?! Where did you get those?"

The pink haired time traveller looking up with a start, not sure whether those words had really been directed at her, or somebody else really, she suddenly found herself infront of a pretty fair haired woman, sceptically staring down at her.

It was Imani.

„Huh?!"

Not sure what it was that tall blond woman meant exactly, Lightning only creased her forehead.

„Those beads... Where did you get them..." Imani asked again, motining at the warrior´s new acquired present.

There was something hard, something stern there in her voice, something that suddenly melted away the second she found the pink haired timetraveller looked over at the guardian to be.

„I see..." the fair haired female whispered carefully, before finally she averted her gaze.

It was only for a second though, as she looked up again soon afterwards, a tiny friendly smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

„He chose you then..." she said somehow carefully.

Lightning only gave her one of her critical stares.

She really wasn´t sure what to make of this.

What to make of that woman, she knew was supposed to be her lover´s wife...

„It´s okay... It really is." Imani added pensively.

„Just... I don´t know... Take care of him."

She wasn´t sure but Lightning thought she saw a single tiny tear glittering in the corner of the woman´s eyes.

„I will." the pink haired female promised.

It was all Kenji´s spouse needed to hear.

And it was giving a tiny appreciative nod that she was off again. Vanishing among the pushing and shoving of the celebrating crowd.

The woman´s words...

They lingered though.

Caius had chosen her, she had said.

But had it really been a choice?

Had he really acted of his free will?

Or was it just fate that had been drawing the two of them together...

Suddenly she wasn´t sure anymore.

„Hey! Come on let´s sit over there!" Cara suddenly piped up from right behind her, making the pink haired female jump.

Turning around she found Cara and Taj and Caius waiting for her to join them at their table, the latter of them carrying two plates of food and throwing her a curious glance.

„Yes... Sure." the pink haired female answered, as walking over to the table, she let herself drop down onto the bench righ next to him.

Caius Ballad.

The man she loved.

* * *

(FFXIII-2 OST – Noel´s Theme: Lala Version)

It was several hours later and the fires once blazing high up in the sky were already burned down to cozy knee high flames, sure, they´d be reduced to embers soon.

The majority of the villagers, they didn´t seem to care.

Some of the younger residents dancing to a joyful tune provided by a band of elderly man playing on some weird foreign instruments, Lightning still hadn´t bothered to learn the name of, Cara and Taj busy making out on one of the makeshift benches propped around the fire, the pink haired warrior for once relaxing her tired joints and muscles, she just sat there in the grass, listening to the pleasant soothing sound of music.

The guardian to be, he sat there right behind her. With her back leaning against this chest and his arms tightly wrapped around her body to make sure to keep her warm, the once fierce ex soldier, she quietly enjoyed the magic of that peaceful moment.

Her eyes trailing over the crowd of happy people, they finally got caught on Caine.

The leader of the hunters, surrounded by a bunch of girls as usual, he was sitting on the opposite side of the fire his piercing stare set on the two of them, it made chilly shiver´s run down Lightning´s spine.

The guardian to be behind her, he only gave a tiny low growl as his arms tightening protectively around the pink haired female, he met his brothers gaze with a hostile scowl.

The older Ballad, he could only shake his head.

Averting his eyes for a few short moments to talk to one of his admirerers, it was turning back to contemplatively look at them for another few seconds before quietly he raised his cup to both of them.

Lightning could hardly believe it.

Was he giving his approval?

What was going on?

Caine Ballad´s attention wandering back to his no doubt charming company, the pink haired warrior breathed a sigh of relief.

Looking around in the crowd, she found Cara giving her a confirmative smile.

Could this be real?

Could Caine Ballad really approve of his brother being with somebody from Cocoon?

It was hard to believe...

Still it was true.

She wasn´t a Cocoon citizen anymore.

She was one of them.

A hunter...

And this small hunter´s village...

It was her home.

Strange how things work out sometimes...

Those memories she had been chasing so long...

The past she had been longing to return to...

Cocoon...

Her family...

Preoccupied with finding a way back, she had almost missed her chance of finding a new home, a new family here.

Life had went on.

And the past...

The future...

The world and the people she had left behind...

They were suddenly so far away.

Far away in those vast plains of the Archylte Steppe.

In the present.

And somehow she found she didn´t even miss them anymore.

Didn´t miss her family, her friends.

Didn´t miss her job, her life or any of the futuristic stuff she had been used to have around her.

No...

She didn´t miss any of it anymore.

She was happy here.

Was happy with that simple life she had with Caius.

Yes...

Although it wasn´t much they had, they still had everything they needed.

They had themselves.

They had each other.

Sure, winter would be tough, she knew that.

The weather would get bitter cold.

Food would be scarce and game hard to find.

But she knew that they´d manage.

Somehow they´d manage.

Caius and the rest of them, they´d managed for ages...

Sure she´d somehow manage too.

Her eyes roaming the crowd once more, her gaze landed on Cara Ballad once again, the kind and caring woman who had nursed her back to life once she had landed in this godforsaken place. Lingering at the scar on her cheek, a small witish line, barely visible now in the darkness of that night, Lightning couldn´t help but smile.

She had left her mark on this world, on these times.

Had left it on Cara, on Caius, on Caine even...

Surely her actions would leave a mark in the timeline as well, or would they?

There were so many people...

So many lives her presence had effected...

So many people...

She didn´t even know their names...

„Wanna dance?" she suddenly heard her companion´s voice, gently whisering into her ear.

Slightly tilting her head to the side, Lightning felt the pleasant sensation of Caius´ skin on her own where her cheek touched his jaw.

„Oh Noo... Not again. I still have goosebumps from that last time." she giggled as she felt his breath tickle the side of her face.

„Was I that bad a dancer?" the guardian chuckled.

The pink haired warrior, she only shook her haid, a small amused smile tugging at her lips.

„I wasn´t exactly referring to you..." she said informingly. Her eyes coming up to roam the crowd for Caine once more, she found him drinking from his cup again, a beautiful girl sitting in his lap and playing with his short lavender hair.

„So no dancing?" the guardian tried tentatively.

„No... No dancing." the timetraveller replied.

„I like the way we are now..." she added somewhat dreamily.

„Me too." the hunter whispered, pulling his slender lover closer. One of his hands coming to rest ontop of her´s, he quickly interlaced their fingers, giving her´s a gentle squeeze.

They both knew that soon they wouldn´t be able to sit outside like that anymore.

It was actually getting too cold already.

Soon they´d have to keep to the safety of their small cozy hut, relying on the heat of their fires and furs of their coats to keep them warm.

The days growing shorter and shorter with every rise and dawn of the sun, giving way to winter´s endless chilly nights...

Caius Ballad...

He wouldn´t have to spend them alone anymore.

He would have someone to keep him company this time.

Someone to keep him warm.

Someone to care for.

It was a nice feeling...

To have somebody to care for.

Somebody to love.

„Oh look who´s here again..." the guardian suddenly spoke up again.

Disentangling his hand from his lover´s fingers he used them to indicate a feeble old man staggering to the front of the crowd and taking a huge swig from an half empty bottle.

A very familiar feeble looking old man...

„Oh no..." the pink haired female groaned the second that her eyes landed on him.

„Please... Not him..."

The old doter positioning himself infront of the fire ready to preach his sermon, Lightning easily recognized him from that time he had told his story about the people from Cocoon...

Somehow she was already dreading his speach.

„Wanna leave?" the attentive male behind her suggested carefully.

Etro´s fallen champion, she simply loved the way he always seemed to know exactly what she wanted.

Exactly what she needed.

„Yeah... Let´s go. It´s getting cold anyway."

* * *

 _Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becaomes a memory._

\- Dr. Seuss

* * *

 _The trouble is you think you have time._

\- Buddha

* * *

The night was dark and there were only the faint light of the stars and the flicker of the distant fires to guide their way as the two of them made down the pebbly path to Caius´ hut, that hut that somehow had become Lightning´s too. The pink haired warrior holding on tightly to her lover´s hand, she almost felt a little tipsy, as trying hard not to stumble over any rocks or roots that grew in her way, she carefully made to keep up with him.

Passing by deserted huts, their windows dark, their bedrooms empty, those ancient high oak trees, their leafs now wilting, dying, sailing to the ground and swirling in the soft cool breeze, they walked down the well trodden track the guardian to be had used what had to be a million times already.

They walked it side by side.

„You still remember our first feast?!" the guardian suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Lightning only gave a tiny snort. Shivering in her meager borrowed clothes she had only the guardian´s protective hand around her´s to keep her warm.

She loved it.

They way the touch of his skin made still made her burn.

Made her burn for more.

„Yeah sure... How am I supposed to forget?!" she replied playfully.

„It was the first feast I ever attended not being on duty!"

„You almost didn´t come." Caius Ballad threw in carefully.

„I know... I was pretty tired." she admitted.

„You where pretty drunk..." the male corrected.

„I wasn´t!" the woman argued instantly.

„You were! You almost let me kiss you!" the hunter contered, a big silly grin forcing it´s way onto his features.

The pink haired warrior stopping dead in her tracks, she only turned to scowl at him.

„I didn´t!" she exclaimed, shoving the man reaching out to take hare hands away from her.

„You did!" he persited.

The man next to her giving her a stupid smirk, Lightning instantly slapped his arm in return.

It was nothing like the way she used to hit him.

Only playful banter.

They knew.

Both of them.

Still...

Caius wasn´t going to let it go that easily.

„Ouch! It hurts when you do that... You know?!" he complained giving her a mock pained look.

She only narrowed her eyes at him.

She knew she hadn´t hurt him.

No way.

Or had she...?

„I didn´t -"

She was cut off by his lips coming down on her´s, capturing her in one of his gentle kisses she´d come to enjoy so much.

It didn´t need more to get her convinced.

„Okay... I did." she lied, just to please him.

They both knew she would have never allowed him to kiss her there, did they?

„I knew it." the guardian said triumphantly.

She only giggled at his naitivity.

She probably would have killed him there and then, had he tried anything the likes back then.

Well...

It didn´t matter now...

They were together now...

His lips coming down to kiss her once again, her arms wandering up to sneak to the back of his neck she met him halfway, pulled him closer.

Closer to her body.

Yes...

He was her´s.

And she was his.

And she was thankful...

So infinitely thankful, that somehow, for some fucked up crazy cosmic coincident and against all odds the two of them had found together.

Had found together in that long forgotten past...

„Thank you for coming back for me, Caius." the pink haired female whispered.

Their foreheads touching and their noses brushing gently, the guardian to be felt the soft skin of her lips move against his own with every word she said.

He only gave a tiny snort.

„I couldn´t have left you here. Never." he replied in his low husky voice.

„How could I have left the woman of my dreams just to serve some crazy teenage girl...?!"

Lightning only gave a tiny giggle.

One of her hands coming up to cup his cheek, she silenced her companion with another kiss.

Gently running her thumb over his cheekbone and down to his jaw, she felt the man in front her shiver, felt her companion´s arms tightening their embrace around her body.

„And what now? Will you become my guardian now?" Lightning joked smiling gainst her lover´s lips.

She loved the way she felt his breath against her face, loved the way she felt his lashes brush her skin everytime he closed his eyes.

„I´ll be whatever you want me to be, but please don´t ask me to become your enemy..." the guardian to be replied somewhat tentatively.

„Because I can´t..."

The smile on the pink haired time traveller´s lips freezing instantly, it got replaced by something sad, something lost, something pensive in a matter of seconds.

„I just can´t..." the man repeated, his voice suddenly soft, fragile, his forehead creasing in concern, in confusion, the second he pulled away to take in his lover´s sad expression.

The pink haired warrior, she felt the hands that had been caressing her back, her sides, suddenly go limb around her body.

What was it they were talking about exactly?!

„Caius..." she started tentatively, then gave a small frustrated sigh as once again words failed her.

Saying nothing then, she only took a step away to look up into his eyes instead.

Caius Ballad only stood there, his dark armethyst gaze patiently studying her pretty features, every inch of her beautifully sculpted face.

She was staring again...

Maybe into the future.

Mabe into the past.

Somewhere he couldn´t quiet reach...

„It isn´t as if there´s any choice for us..." the pink haired femaly finally said.

The words, reluctant to get out, they tasted bitter on her tongue.

Still... She knew that they were true.

The guardian to be, he just chose to look away.

Choice...

If only this were about choice...

„You will become Yeul´s guardian... And you will... Live up to do all kind of things..." reaching up to touch his cheek again, she gently made to trace his jawline with her index finger, carefully made him look up again.

„What if I don´t want to anymore?!" the guardian asked carefully.

Their eyes met.

And the intensity of his gaze, it made her back away almost instantly.

His eyes...

Burning with a weird foreign glint she couldn´t quite place, with fear, with longing.

His words...

They weighted heavy on her heart, her soul.

Of course he didn´t want to...

He really didn´t...

She didn´t want to fight him either...

Felt she couldn´t.

Still.

She had.

Tearing herself away from the sight of him, Etro´s fallen champion, she simply turned away to stare into the sky above.

She couldn´t bear to meet that gaze of his. The pain. The sadness. Leaking from those deep dark pools of purple...

She somehow couldn´t.

And she wouldn´t...

„Caius... You have to... You will... You already did..." she told him carefully. Her voice barely more than a whisper as she forced the words out of her throat.

„I remember..."

„My memories... They haven´t changed even a tiny bit since I got here. They never did..."

The guardian giving a heavy sigh, not knowing what to do, he only chose to look at her.

His eyes never leaving her face as she continued to stare up to the stars.

Why... Why did she always have to say that...

„But I..." It was all he managed to choke out before as sudden as she´d turned away, the pink haired female turned back to look at him.

The sad expression in her eyes, her face, silencing him instantly.

All traces of the happiness, the joy, that had been sparkling in her eyes just minutes ago were gone now.

Instead of twinkling with affection, those eyes were swimming in tears.

„Caius... She told you didn´t she? When you were gone... You went to see her and she told you." the timetraveller said, looking straight into his eyes.

„What did she tell you?"

The purple haired hunter´s gaze cast downwards, he only shook his head.

He so wasn´t going to talk about this now.

He so wasn´t!

„Caius!" Lightning urged.

Looking up into her pretty pale blue eyes again, he only sighed in defeat.

„Everything..." He finally gave in.

„I know everything."

The man in front of her, he only gave a small pained nod before his eyes trailed back to the ground again.

Unable to meet her gaze.

Lightning only stared at him.

„Then you know what you´ve got to do." she finally said, her voice now drenched with sadness, with regret.

„But I don´t want to!" the guardian to be protested looking up and straight back into her eyes.

Yes... He didn´t want to.

He didn´t.

She saw that.

She knew that.

Felt it.

With every fibre of her being.

Still he would.

The fact that they were breathing the same air...

The fact that they were walking the same ground...

The fact that she was still here. Here in this long forgotten past in the Archylte Steppe...

It was proof enough that he would do it.

That he had in fact done it.

A million times already...

„Caius... Please... You have to do it..." the pink haired female started.

Her voice was small.

And there were tiny sobs threatening to sneak into her words.

„It´s the only way for us to be together... If you won´t do it... I won´t even show up here..."

„If you won´t do it, the world isn´t going to grumble into Chaos..."

„Nothing... Nothing of this would ever happen..."

Her hands reaching out to find his, she carefully made to interlace their fingers, carefully gave his a gentle little squeeze.

„We are living in a paradox right now... You know that..."

„If you won´t do it... Everything we have here... Everything we´ve done... Everything we´ve become... All our time here spent together... Everything will cease to exist... Will collapse into nothingness..."

„And I don´t want that..."

The purple haired hunter looking down´t at their hands entwined, his companion´s delicate feminine fingers, so much smaller than his own, he slowly brought up his thumb to caress the back of her hand.

„I don´t wanna loose you..." the woman in front of him concluded almost pleadingly.

His gaze wandering back to her face, he found a trail of salty tears making down the alabaster skin of both her cheeks.

If only he could erase her pain...

If only he could make her smile again...

Make her whole again...

Taking a tiny step closer he disentangled one of his hands from her fingers to bring it up and brush away some of her tears with his thumb.

There had to be another way...

There had to...

A way where all those terrible things would´t have to happen.

A way he wouldn´t have to be her killer.

A way she wouldn´t have to shed those tears.

A way she wouldn´t emerge broken and burned.

A way without Chaos...

„Things can change." the guardian tried.

His voice was soothing and calming.

His words selected carefully.

„They can´t. The future, it is set in stone..." his companion started instantly.

„It already happened... I was there."

„That´s what she told us right? I don´t pay it." the man insisted.

„Things can change!"

The pink haired female, she only shook her head.

„There´s no way. Once the Chaos is contained, there is no way for me to go back in time! If you change the future, you change the past! " she argued.

„Yeah exactly... If we change our future, we change your past! If time revolves in circles than it is as simple as that!" the guardian threw in.

„No it isn´t! One mistake here... Just one step in the wrong direction and I won´t even show up here don´t you get it?" Lightning said, almost shouting at him now.

Her lips trembling with another wave of stifled sobs, there were tears coming from her eyes again.

She was getting worked up again.

Caius could tell.

„If you don´t kill me... And the Chaos isn´t released from Valhalla... I´m not going to show up here and change things in the first place... Putting us right back to where we started from!"

„Back to Valhalla..."

Her hands reaching out to grab his coat somewhere at his shoulders, she had him at arms lenght in no time, her nostrils flaring wildly and her blue eyes blazing angrily as she started to push him away again.

„I mean who knows how often we have tried this already?! Probably infinite times... Sending us right back to where we started without having achieved anything... Anything at all! Infinite times!" she was screaming in his face now. Her fingernails digging deep into his shoulders as desperately she tried to shake him.

Her emotional outburst leaving him completely unimpressed, Caius Ballad only leaned forward to cup both her cheeks.

„Then I´ll just keep trying." he insisted looking deep into her eyes.

„What for?!" the woman there in front of him, she was really crying now, tears streaming down her face and into his waiting palms.

Caius Ballad...

He didn´t intend to let her go.

He´d never let her go.

 _Never._

„This timeline will collapse into nothingness the second you choose not to become Yeul´s guardian!" the woman cried, her voice a trembling mess, her word´s barely able to make out anymore.

„We´ll just be gone... Just like that. And nothing will be changed." she sobbed.

„Then let´s just make this time one of those..." the guardian whispered pleadingly staring into her wide blue eyes.

„What does it matter?!"

Lightning only stared at him. Her mouth slightly agape as she digested what he had just said.

„I´d rather have this timeline collapse into nothingness than fight you... Kill you... I cant! I couldn´t! Not in a million years! I can´t!"

It was his turn to break down in tears now.

Those tears...

They were starting to make their way onto his cheeks already.

There was nothing he could do to stop them.

There were no pale skinned female fingers coming up to brush them off.

No soft pinkish lips to kiss them away this time.

His chest constricting in pain, his breathing strangely hitched, the purple haired hunter noticed the hands holding her face were terribly shaking now.

„Caius..."

The pink haired female gave a painful sigh.

It was no use.

There was nothing she could do to change fate.

Nothing.

Nothing she could do to mend his pain.

No.

She had finally accepted it.

Her fate.

Her destiny.

And maybe it was for the better.

It was about time anyway...

Nothing she could do would actually influence that fact, could change her dear companion´s cruel fate.

It was a curse of course.

To know what would happen eventually without a chance to interfere.

But yes... The future, it was set in stone already.

And everything she had done here, everything she still would do, would eventually lead back to the future that she knew.

It would.

Yes.

 _It would._

Because it had already happened.

By the time that she had left there, it had already been done.

Caius had already killed her.

Had killed everybody.

Still the thought of it, it hurt.

Letting the man she loved take down the path that would inevitably lead to nothing but his suffering, his pain.

Knowing it, but not being able to do anyting about it...

It wasn´t nice.

No.

It was torture

She didn´t want it.

Not even for a second.

Because no.

He didn´t deserve it.

Any of it.

Not at all.

And she was going to loose him.

Was loosing him right now.

Had already lost him.

All that time ago.

And he...

He had already taken those first steps...

No.

 _She_ had made him take them.

Those first steps on his descend into madness...

Would she have to witness it?

Would she still be around once his time had come to receive the heart of Chaos?

Would she be with him the day he became a L´Cie?

Would she be there to hold his hand the day they burried his first Yeul, his protégé?

Or would she fight along him in the war of Transgression?

No...

She probably wouldn´t live long enough to do any of it.

Wouldn´t be able to be there for him.

Would grow old and fade and die while he´d be roaming this planet for the next thousand years to come, cursed to live forever, his body conserved with eternal youth.

Yes...

It would probably take centuries for him to become that man, the Caius she had encountered in Valhalla all those months ago, that ancient warrior, left with only very little of the Caius she had come to know... if anything at all.

The despair, the pain, he grief of centuries, crushing him, the person he´d once been.

Their parting... It would contribute to making him the man he would become, the man she had met in her past, the man she had met there a thousand times already.

Sure it, pained her, the fact that she couldn´t be there for him, couldn´t stay with him forever. But his fate was so much bigger than her´s, she knew that.

Accepted that.

Knew he´d have to leave her.

Leave her soon.

She couldn´t change that.

Couldn´t change that it hurt.

But there was no use in whining now...

No use in denying their fate...

„You´ve got to become Yeul´s guardian, Caius... Or I won´t even show up here! Please! I can´t afford to loose you! I can´t!"

And it was true.

She couldn´t afford to loose him.

Not now that finally the two of them had found together.

That finally she felt at home, felt at peace.

She couldn´t.

Couldn´t let him go.

She needed him.

Needed him like the air to breathe.

Needed him like she had never needed anything else.

Anyone else.

No way was she going to give it up.

No way was she going to give him up.

She couldn´t.

Couldn´t live without him.

Couldn´t let him take it.

Take it from her.

Take him from her.

Never.

No matter what the future held for her...

At least for those few short months...

A few precious moments in time...

She had been happy.

Happy in a way and under circumstances she could have never imagined possible.

Those memories...

She wasn´t going to give up on them.

Nobody could take them away form her.

Ever.

She wouldn´t allow it!

„Caius please!"

„I´d rather die a thousand times, then never having met you at all!" she pleaded desperately.

„Please you promised me..."

The guardian to be, he let his head hang in defeat and his hands dropped to uselessly dangle at his side.

„You promised me..." the pink haired female reminded him again.

And it pained him.

Pained him a lot.

The fact that she wanted him to leave her.

To leaver her and become Yeul´s guardian, a L´Cie, a madman, a monster.

A killer.

Her killer.

„Everbody has their own fate to fulfill..."

How could she possibly ask this from him?

How?!

How was he supposed to do that.

To do that to the one he loved?!

Why...

Why did she have to ask him to do this...

Taking a step forward he just reached out to wrap his arms around her.

Pulling her close, holding her tightly to his body, he burried his face deep into her soft pink hair.

Taking in her scent, the feeling of the skin of her cheeks, her tears against his neck...

He felt he couldn´t look at her.

Couldn´t look into her eyes.

„I can´t... I can´t abandon you... I can´t leave you behind... I... I just can´t..." he sobbed into her pinkish strands.

„Caius..." gently tearing herself away from him, Etro´s fallen champion looked up to touch his chin.

„Please..."

Her hands coming up to both his cheeks she held his head with both her hands, made him look up into her wet blue eyes.

Raging oceans.

Deep.

Pale.

Blue.

„We will meet again. You know that." she started carefully. Her eyes never leaving his. Not even for a second.

„I know it will be centuries... But we will meet again. I will be there, remember?"

Caius Ballad only closed his eyes.

More of those hot salty tears making down his cheeks, the pink haired warrior, she found his face contorted in pain at the thought of what she wanted him to do, at the prospect of having to part.

But it wouldn´t be forever, right?

Yes...

Her body might die and fade, their hearts might break, but they´d see each other again.

A thousand years into the future.

They would meet again.

Would meet again as enemies.

Where they´d make history repeat itself.

To keep the wheels of fate there turning.

So they could end up there in the past together in the first place.

Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter.

An endless cycle.

Constantly repeating itself.

The timeline...

Protecting it, was the burden destined for them both to carry.

Wasn´t it?

„You won´t know me! You won´t even recognize me!" the guardian sobbed. His eyes swimming, his face wet with tears, his and her´s alike, his voice shaking terribly, it finally broke there at the last few words.

The man she loved standing right in front of her, eyes puffy and red, lips trembling, hands shaking, he looked deep into her eyes.

Desperately.

Pleadingly.

Lightning couldn´t bear to look at him.

Couldn´t bear to face his pain.

Her eyes wandering up to the nightsky instead, for the first time since she´d had the pleasure of watching it she realised the stars above were dead.

Were barren and empty.

Lifeless.

It was only the light from the sun reflected on their smooth surface that carried towards them.

Just like with Cocoon.

An emty hollow shell.

That reflection...

It was the only thing that was left of them...

Caius Ballad helplessly watched her profile as his thoughts drifted away as well.

He knew Lightning didn´t believe there was a way to change things.

Knew she thought he had to do all those things in order for the two of them to be together.

In order for the two of them to be reunited.

In order for the two of them to be happy again.

But somehow he wasn´t so sure.

Surely there had to be a way...

There HAD to.

If only he could find it...

* * *

 _Sometimes I wish I could stop time._

 _To freeze it._

 _Perserve it._

 _To keep all the lovely things that are around me._

 _Moments._

 _Memories._

 _Contained forever in their eternal splendour._

 _But time keeps going and things keep getting lost._

 _And even the one moment that you thought was your eternity fades out and is forgotten and dies._

 _And there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that._

 _Nothing._

\- Jean Rhys (altered)

* * *

 **You can´t defy your fate, or can you?**

* * *

It was quiet outside. The fires from the feast had gone out hours ago and even the last of the attendants had found their way into their cozy beds.

There was no chirring of crickets and no chirping of birds. Only the eerie sound of the cool autumn wind, rattling at the tiny hut´s wooden boards and the soft tiny breaths of the woman lying next to him to listen to.

It was late and the silver light of Cocoon was shining through the cracked window illuminating his lover´s pretty face as he made to watch her sleeping form.

Sleep...

This night it seemed to successfully evade him.

Caius Ballad knew Lightning was right.

Knew...

Knew they had only very little time together.

Knew he needed to savour it.

Not waste it with mulling over things he couldn´t change.

He knew all that.

And he had tried.

Had tried so hard to just let it go. To just accept things as they were. And not think about them any longer.

Still.

No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, no matter how hard he tried to pretend. Deep inside him the truth still glinted.

Glinted like a razor.

How was he supposed to live with the knowledge of what he was going to do, all the suffering he was going to inflict?

Inflict in her. In everybody.

Had somehow already done.

He couldn´t...

Couldn´t just pretend, continue as if nothing had happened.

He didn´t want to.

Still...

She asked him too...

Right...?

Right...

Never in his life had he felt so helpless, felt so lost.

What was he to do?

He didn´t want to do any of the terrible things fate had in store for him.

But he didn´t want to loose her either.

Never...

She needed him.

He knew that.

He was her friend, her lover, her anchor.

Her only support.

And she was fragile...

Was broken, was hurt.

It was his duty to be there for her.

To keep the pieces of her broken heart, her soul, together...

But then...

Hadn´t it been him who´d broken her in the first place?

Hadn´t it been him who´d forced her through all those battles in Valhalla?

The one who´d taken her home, her family?

Had taken her hope, her fierce, her strenght...

Fuck, he had...

He would...

Exhaling a painful sigh, he shifted his weight to carefully inch closer to his lover´s body, closer even than before, until his chest bumped into her shoulderblades and his belly was flush again the small of her back.

His arm sneaking around her waist and to the hand she was resting on the sheets infront of her, searching for her fingers, it was burrying his face deep into her hair that he leaned in to kiss her ear.

The pink haired female next to him.

She only gave a tiny sleepy moan.

„Caius... It must be two in the morning..." she yawned sleepily. A soft content smile spreading on her pinkish lips as gently she made to push him away.

Whatever he had in mind right now, she definitely wasn´t in the mood for it.

She needed to catch up on some of her sleep...

„Would you marry me?" the hunter unexpectedly whispered against the soft skin of her neck.

He didn´t know what made him say it.

Those words, they´d forced themselves out of his throat completely on their own.

„WHAT?!"

The pink haired warrior, completely caught off guard, she instantly turned around to look into his eyes.

Sound asleep only a few moments ago, she suddenly felt wide awake. No trace there of the drowsiness that had engulfed her just seconds before.

That word, leaving her lips a little more forceful than she had intended, Caius Ballad flinched.

If only a tiny bit.

Her blue eyes simply stared at him, pierced his like an arrow´d pierce freshly healed skin...

He didn´t let it dissuade him.

Not even for a tiny second.

„If things weren´t like you know they are... If there weren´t all those things going to happen... If none of us would be forced to fulfil our fates..." Caius Ballad started carefully.

„If we were just normal people... Under normal circumstances... Would you want to become my wife?"

Claire Farron, Lightning, the woman destined to become a servant to the Goddess Etro,

she only gave him one of her completely baffled stares.

She didn´t know what to think.

But somehow she knew exactly what to say.

One of her hands coming up to touch her lover´s face, she leaned closer as she gazed into those waiting purple eyes.

 _Heart over mind..._

„Yes. I would." she breathed, her voice almost failing her as his lips came crushing down on her´s once more.

 _Constants and variables..._

This kiss...

It was different.

Different than the ones they´d shared before.

It was passionate. Yes. But more than that it was a promise.

A promise that none of this would be for naught.

That none of their pain, their strains, their sacrifices would be in vain.

Pulling apart for air again, it was with their noses slightly brushing, that their gazes met ones more.

„Please don´t forget me. Ever." the guardian to be whispered into the silence of the night, his arms tightening protectively around his lover´s slender form.

Lightning had no problem catching his words.

There was so much pain there in his voice.

A tear running down his cheek, she quickly kissed it away with her soft pinkish lips.

„I won´t... I promise." she said, staring deep into his eyes.

„I won´t ever."

Caius Ballad gave a small appreciative nod.

„Okay."

He loved her.

Loved her more than words could say.

And she loved him.

Loved him too.

No matter what would happen.

No matter what would come.

It still lay there in the future.

Far away.

No matter what had happened.

It was only in her past.

It wasn´t even real.

No...

Here in this timeline it hadn´t even happened yet, maybe wouldn´t even happen at all.

Or would it?

The guardian to be, of course he knew it was time for him to become Yeul´s guardian.

He had seen it.

The seeress had made sure of that.

He knew that it was what was supposed to happen... But what if he just didn´t do it?

What if he just didn´t show up?

What if he just chose to stay here.

Would this timeline really collapse into nothingness?

Would Lightning really cease to exist?

Somehow he wasn´t that sure...

Maybe there really was another way.

A way none of them could see yet.

There was still hope, or was there?

His eyes studying his companion´s features, taking in her rosy skin, the pale blue eyes, those pinkish lips, letting his fingers wander over her shoulders, down her spine and to the small of her back, feeling the touch of her soft pale skin beneath his fingertips, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but agree.

Yes...

There still was hope.

Maybe he just wouldn´t become Yeul´s guardian this time...

Maybe there was somebody else to care for in this timeline...

Maybe he just wouldn´t join the seeress, wouldn´t fight in the War of Transgression, wouldn´t become immortal and wouldn´t fight Lightning up there in Valhalla.

Wouldn´t kill her.

Wouldn´t release the Chaos...

Wouldn´t do any of those horrible things.

Yes...

Maybe he´d just be Caius.

Just Caius.

Maybe he´d just lead a normal life.

A normal life.

With her.

Lightning.

The woman he loved.

* * *

 **Constants and variables.**

* * *

 _I don´t ask you to love me always like this,_

 _but I ask you to remember._

 _Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person that I am tonight._

 _ _If you came to me with a face I have not seen,__

 _ _with a name I have never heard,__

 _ _I would still know you.__

 _ _Even if centuries seperated us,__

 _ _I would still feel you.__

 _ _Somewhere between the sand and the stardust,__

 __through every collapse and creation,__

 _ _there is a pulse that echoes of you and I.__

 _ _A puls that speaks your name.__

\- P. Scott Fitzgerald (altered)

* * *

 _ **Love is space and time measured by the heart.**_

\- Marcel Proust

* * *

Thank you guys for staying with me all this time. I really do hope you liked that chapter. If you want to let me know in a review. As always I´ll be pleased to get some feedback.

As for the next part. It shall follow pretty soon. It´s almost finished.

Please stay tuned for the next bit... We are almost there ;)

Only one small one and one major chap to go. + the Epilogue. For those who care to read it.


	15. INTERLUDE: Fragments of Infinity

Ohhhh what a fast update huh?

Yeah... Kinda couldn´t keep this from you any longer! ;)

Here´s the next part. Last update before the final chapter btw ^^

Thank´s for staying with me guys!

Thank you so much!

* * *

 **PLEASE ENJOY!**

* * *

Caius Ballad knew it was time for him to become Yeul´s guardian.

He had seen it.

The seeress had made sure of that.

He knew that it was what was supposed to happen... But what if he just wouldn´t do it?

What if he just wouldn´t show up?

What if he just chose to stay right where he was, in the Archylte Steppe...

Yes...

Maybe he just wouldn´t become Yeul´s guardian this time...

Maybe he just wouldn´t join the seeress, wouldn´t fight in the War of Transgression, wouldn´t become immortal and wouldn´t fight Lightning up there in Valhalla.

Maybe he´d just be Caius.

 _Just Caius_...

Maybe he´d just lead a normal life.

A normal life with her.

Lightning.

The woman he loved.

* * *

 **How very mistaken he was...**

* * *

(Foals - Spanish Sahara) → Great song btw. check it out!

* * *

 **INTERLUDE: FRAGMENTS OF INFINITY**

 _It is all a matter of perspective._

 _And maybe we thought we were living one story,_

 _when if we look at it a little different,_

 _we can reframe everything_

 _\- all our memories and attributes and experiences -_

 _and see_

 _that we´re actually living a different story._

\- Kiersten White

* * *

 **Academia, 500 AF**

„You fight bravely to protect your friends, like a true guardian!" Caius Ballad´s distinctive voice carried over the noise of the airship´s engines. Those words coming out derisive and taunting, they hurt all the way as he felt the air passing his vocal cords.

Noel didn´t deserve this.

Any of this.

He was a good boy.

Would have made a worthy guardian.

Some day.

Still, Caius knew he had no other choice but to fight him.

This was what it had to be like.

What it had always been like, would always be like.

He had promised her...

Had promised her all those centuries ago.

That when the time would come, he´d do it.

Do all those terrible things he knew he had to do.

He had already broken so many promises...

He wasn´t going to break this one.

Not while he was still breathing.

„What about you Caius? You swore the same oath to protect Yeul!" the brunette hunter retorted fiercly.

His voice was determined, accusing, the words he had chosen bitter.

The purple haired guardian, he knew they were meant to hurt.

 _Of course they didn´t..._

Noel had no idea.

Knew nothing of what he had experienced, had been going through all those centuries.

All those years spent alone.

Spent with the constantly reincarnating seeress as his sole companion.

Spent with the knowledge of what he was going to do.

Of what he had to do...

Of what was going to await him, ultimately, in the end.

Spent with those few fading memories he had of the woman that he loved, still loved after all this time.

That woman who had left him.

Had left him all those centuries back in the past.

Had left him with a promise...

That one day they were going to see each other again.

That one day if he did everything exactly as he had promised her to do, they would be together again.

 _No..._

Noel hadn´t even the faintest idea what he was talking about.

And he was certainly not going to fill him in.

If the boy wanted a motive, he could have some...

„Everything I do is for Yeul." Caius Ballad said calmy, bitterly.

It was a lie of course.

This wasn´t about Yeul.

This was about Lightning.

About time and fate and destiny.

And maybe a little bit about himself.

Yes.

Maybe he was also doing it for himself.

Maybe the thought of not meeting Lightning at all, of her not being with him all those centuries back in the past...

Maybe he just couldn´t bear it.

Maybe he just couldn´t bring himself to let her go.

To never have met her in the first place.

Maybe it was selfish...

Maybe it wasn´t fair...

But in the end those few short months spent with her in the Archylte Steppe, to him they were worth it.

Were worth anything.

And with the image of the pink haired warrior arriving back at his village more than a thousand years back in the past before his inner eye he charged forward.

Charged at the young brunette hunter to attack him in a brutal assault.

Noel barely managed to block him.

That young man whome he had tought so many things...

Whome he had shown how to hunt and to fight and to survive, who had sometimes even been like a son to him, he just stared at him with dread, with terror, as the guardian readied his sword for his next blow.

The attack was directed at Serah this time.

That pink haired girl...

 _Her_ sister...

That heart shaped face...

That pinkish hair...

Those pale blue eyes...

Although couple of years younger, she looked almost exactly like the woman he had once met in his dreams, had once met there in his past.

A thousand years back in the past...

Serah...

Bringing up his greatsword to attack her, Caius Ballad sensed the brunette hunter lunging forward, ready to interfere.

And it took only a few moments and a few swift blows before Caius Ballad found himself down on his knees.

Exactly like he had it planned.

Exactly as it was supposed to be.

His gaze carefully trailing upwards to the young man menacingly holding his double bladed sword in front of him, the purple haired guardian imploringly looked up into his eyes.

He knew it...

Had always known...

It was about time.

„Noel... Kill me."

Yes.

In the end it would be worth it...

Everything...

* * *

 _The timeline runs in circles._

 _A circle closed upon itself._

 _With each ending of the last,_

 _a new cycle is born._

 _Just like with a movie that doesn´t come all on one big reel._

 _The world drowning in a sea of Chaos,_

 _the cue for the changeover,_

 _the projector is switched the exact same moment that one reel ends and the next begins_

 _and the movie keeps right on going._

 _A whole universe collapsing into nothingness._

 _And the audience doesn´t notice a thing._

* * *

 **Timeless Realms, Somewhere on the shores of Chaos**

How often had this happened before?

How often had the purple haired guardian entered that battlefield in the timeless realms under the desolate skies of Valhalla to come and fight against his deadly enemy?

Ten times?

Hundred times?

I could be a billion times already for all he knew.

Caius Ballad wouldn´t remember.

Maybe this time would be the last time?

Maybe this time would be be the final straw, would finally make the timeline crumble, make the world collapse under the crushing weight of Chaos to condense into a single dark mass and for all of this to finally end to fade and crumble into nothingness.

Maybe it was...

And maybe it wasn´t...

Nobody could ever tell for sure.

His boots crushing the bones of some long decayed wild creature, Caius Ballad continued down the silent crystal beaches and over to Valhalla´s empty streets.

Those streets he knew so well.

Those dark twisted alleys...

Those dark tall stone walls...

All those once proud buildings...

Long abandoned...

With every step he took he felt his once injured shoulder throb uncomfortly.

That stupid wound...

Although closed and healed ages ago, he could still feel it sometimes.

A tiny unpleasant twinge.

A constant reminder of the woman he once knew.

An excrutiating searing pain rippling through his body, through is soul, everytime he landed a hit on her, everytime he blocked one of her blows.

He had sworn to find a way.

Had sworn to protect her.

To protect the timeline...

If only he could protect her form himself...

Deeply lost in thought the purple haired guardian, he let his eyes trail upwards to the city´s palace highest turrets.

The temple of the Goddess.

That place he knew he had to go.

The place he knew he´d find her.

He´d always find her...

 _It wouldn´t be long now..._

Following the path he knew he had to take, he made his way further into the maze of the deserted city´s cobbled streets, dread rising in his stomach when he thought about what he knew he had to do.

Yes...

He had promised her to find a way to change things.

To somehow find a way to defy their fate.

But the more he saw, the longer he lived, the more he understood that there was just no way to do so.

If he didn´t live to do all those things he had to do, he would have never known her, would have never had the chance to meet her in the first place.

Yes...

There was just no chance to do so without the power of Chaos.

And it was time.

Was time anyway.

Time he ended this once more.

He was tired.

Was so tired of it.

This life...

This torment.

His destiny.

Having lived for all those centuries with Yeul the only person he had left, having fought so many battles, having had his heart ripped out and replaced by the heart of Chaos, Caius Ballad had grown bitter, had grown tired, and resentful and sad.

Hopeless.

Desperate.

Sure...

He knew he was going to see her again.

Knew he was going to meet her again.

Had always known.

But he also knew the Lightning he´d encounter in Valhalla wouldn´t remember any of the things that had happened.

That had happened between them all those years ago.

Hell... For her they hadn´t even happened yet.

And it was cursed, was futile...

Because no matter how he´d try and solve this, whenever they met in Valhalla she would never know about their last encounter in the past, and whenever they met in the past he himself wouldn´t know about their encounter in the future.

No matter how he´d put it, one of them would always stay behind.

Bruised.

Burned.

And broken.

There was just no way to change this.

There was just no way...

No...

To make sure he´d see her again he had to kill her.

Had to kill her and release the Chaos.

Make sure the world would keep on turning.

Make sure fate would take it´s course.

He had spared her long enough...

How long had it taken him this time?

Thousand times?

Ten thousand times?

He had lost count of how often he had faced her there already, never being able to actually do her in.

It was hard.

Was so incredibly hard.

Although she couldn´t remember him at all...

Allthought this version of Lightning hated him, loathed him so much, was intend on ripping his heart out and crushing it into a thousand tiny peaces, the guardian found that it was almost impossible for him to do it.

How often had he had her there already?

Had had her at the tip of his blade?

Had had her crushed against a wall without a chance of escpae?

Had had her cornered and trembling and down on her knees.

And how often had he let her go...

Because he couldn´t bring himself to actually do it...

Reaching the vast huge plaza infront of the city palace´s towering turrets, Caius Ballad looked up at the woman of his dreams, the woman of his past, standing on the Goddess´ balcony.

The woman with the wild pink hair, and the fierce blue eyes.

The woman whome he loved...

She looked down at him with hate, with vengeance.

And it hurt.

It hurt so badly.

And he realized there was a part in him that hated her as well.

Hated her just as much as she hated him.

Hated her for putting him through all of this.

For doing this to him.

For landing in his past and making him fall in love with her and abandoning him.

Abandoning him there, leaving him to do all kind of things.

Yes.

There was a part of him that hated her.

A part of him that loved her.

Still loved her after all this time...

His once mortal heart aching terribly inside his chest, Caius Ballad drew his greatsword.

It was huge, long, heavy in his well trained hands.

Yes... He´d been unable to do it.

Had spared her all those times.

But this time would be different.

This time he´d go through with it.

He had spared her long enough...

It was time he´d end this once again.

It was.

His eyes trailing upwards to the warrior in the shiny armour up there on the balcony once more, the purple haired hunter took a tiny step forward, took a deep calming breath.

His mind was set.

This time he´d do it.

This time he´d do her in.

 _Please..._

 _Forgive me..._

„Warrior goddess!" he heard his own voice echoe from the walls of Valhalla´s empty streets.

Hard.

Fierce.

Determined.

„NOW WE CROSS SWORDS!"

* * *

 _Everytime we repeat the same mistake the price goes up._

\- Paulo Coelho

* * *

 **I shall remember your pain.**

 **It will be carved in my heart.**

* * *

Some quotes taken from FFXIII-2 and Fight Club.

So guys... There we are. Only one chapter left ^^ And the Epilogue of course... ;)

I´m so excited

Soooo... What will happen, huh?

Any guesses?

Let me know!

Looking forward to posting the last chap already. It´s almost done. Won´t take long now. Promise;)

* * *

 **HOPE YOU ENJOYED!**


	16. Chapter XIII-2: The Eternal Guardian

So here we are, last chapter of the eternal paradox. There is however an **Epilogue** for this story I uploaded right afterwards, so if you still want to read it after you finish this chapter you can check it out as well. ;)

I´m so exited to give you that final chapter and I really don´t want to keep it from you any longer. Just know that story means a lot to me. I´ve been writing on this for almost exactlly 1 year now^^And finally it´s finished.

I know it´s far from perfect, but I really put a lot of work into it and I gave this story to you for free. So. All I´m asking for is for every single one of you to write one final review after completing this story.

Just one review.

No matter if you have an account or just review as a guest.

No matter if you hated it or loved it. Please just let me know.

Just drop a few words for me to know it was worth the effort.

It´s all I´m asking from you. Please. It´d mean a lot to me.

No matter if you read this story now or in two years.

I´ll always be glad to read from you.

You can praise me or you can flame me.

I´m all yours...

And now... The ending...

* * *

„ _Each time you fulfill one of your heart´s desires, someone else´s dream is shattered."_

\- Caius Ballad

* * *

(Exitmusic – The Cold)

* * *

 **CHAPTER XIII-2: THE ETERNAL GUARDIAN**

 _History repeats itself._

 _First as tragedy,_

 _second as a farce._

\- Karl Marx

* * *

 **The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die.**

 **They must bear the burden of the Eternal Paradox.**

* * *

Caius Ballad woke with a start.

He had seen it.

Everything.

In his dreams, those tiny moments right before you wake up from your REM sleep he had seen everything...

How Lightning had insisted on him becoming Yeul´s guardian.

How they had parted ways.

How he had left for Paddra, while she ventured off to lead her own life, somewhere else, insignificant and small, her path uncertain, not to show up in any records whatsoever, the woman he had come to love vanishing from the pages of history forever...

How he had led his life to one day become the man he was destined to become...

The madman.

The monster.

How Lightning was born again a thousand years into the future...

How she was sucked into Valhalla and how they had fought.

How although he could have sworn he wouldn´t be able to fight her, would straight out refuse to do so, in the end he did.

How although he thought he couldn´t kill her, in the end he did.

How in the end he had to.

Knowing it was the only way...

The only way to bring her back to him.

And how in the end, although having been so sure in the beginning, he didn´t change anything.

No.

In the end their love wasn´t strong enough to save them.

In the end _he_ wasn´t strong enough.

Strong enough to let her go...

No...

After spending multiple lifetimes, waiting, griefing, hoping, he found that he just couldn´t do it...

Couldn´t let her go.

And it hurt.

And he hated himself.

Loathed himself, really.

Because he had promised her.

Had promised her all those times.

Had promised her to find a way...

A way to turn their fate around...

But he hadn´t.

He had failed.

And he would...

Would fail again.

How often had this happened already?

Ten times?

Thousand times?

He didn´t know.

It could have been countless times.

And maybe there were.

He could never tell...

 _Lightning..._

He had promised her two things.

Becoming a guardian.

And changing their future.

One of those he had to break.

One of those he had broken already.

Countless times...

 _Constants and variables..._

It was still dark outside.

The pale shine of Cocoon tinging the room in it´s otherwordly glow, looking down to his left, Caius Ballad´s gaze fell onto his lover´s sleeping form, nestled safely in his arms.

She was lying half on top of him.

Her head resting on his chest to listen to his heart beat and their legs entangled, his eyes were on her hands.

Her beautiful delicate hands. So much smaller than his own.

Slowly reaching out, he carefully made to touch them.

Just to make sure that she was real.

That she was in fact still there.

She was...

Was sleeping soundly in his arms.

Her face relaxed, the corners of her mouth curved upwards ever so slightly, she looked content there, happy almost...

Happy with him...

And he understood...

Suddenly he understood, for the first time there he really understood that he would do it, that he would really do it again in a thousand years to come, that despite everything he felt for her, had promised her to do and not to do, in the end, finally, after all that time, he´d still be there to cut her throat.

Yes, he knew he´d do it.

Had already done.

Or she wouldn´t even be here.

Wouldn´t be here in the first place.

He wouldn´t even have met her.

Yes... He understood.

Understood that if he didn´t walk that path, he´d never have been there to kill her in the first place...

That she´d just fade from his presence.

Fade and just be gone forever.

Would simply cease to exist in this place he called his home.

As if she´d never been there...

Damn, he wouldn´t even notice.

Wouldn´t even realize that she was gone.

He wouldn´t even know she once existed...

Because she´d have never been there to begin with...

But she _was_ there...

Was there with him _now_...

And that was what really counted, right?

Yes, it was true...

He would do it again...

Again and again...

A countless times...

Until one day, the cycle would end.

And would inevitably take the world with it...

And she was okay.

Was okay with this.

For reasons he couldn´t fully comprehend, she really was okay with this.

Had said so multiple times.

Had told him how she just wanted to be happy, just wanted to enjoy those few short precious days they still had left together.

And he had tried.

Had tried to heed that wish.

Had tried to pretend, had tried to forget everything he had seen, had given his best, but no matter how much he seeked to ignore it, no matter how hard he tried to look away, deep in his heart he knew it.

Knew that whatever he did, he couldn´t escape it.

His fate.

The painful truth that had been clawing at the back of his mind, was doing so at all times.

Because yes, it was him...

Had always been him...

He was to blame for this doom.

He was the key, the trigger for all the horrible things that had happened in Lightning´s life.

The one guilty for her travel to the past, for her appearing in Valhalla, forcing her to lead her armies against his in eternal battle...

For Serah´s death and the release of the Chaos...

The destruction of all mankind...

Of the world...

Of space and time.

He was the one, the key.

He _was_ the Eternal Paradox.

 _ **The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die...**_

 _ **They must bear the burden of the Eternal Paradox...**_

Yeul´s words...

Yeul´s words kept haunting him.

They had been there, present at the back of his head, waiting to be triggered, biding their time, just to resurface whenever he was left to think, whenever he would start brooding again.

They were relentless.

Permanently there.

Teasing him.

Choking him.

Crushing him.

No matter how often he kept repeating them inside his head they wouldn´t cease, their effect on him wouldn´t soften...

They were torturing him.

Felt like a dozend of knives stabbing his heart over and over and over again.

And no matter what he did he couldn´t help it...

Couldn´t make them disappear.

 _ **The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die...**_

 _ **They must bear the burden of the eternal paradox...**_

Those words...

Yeul´s words...

What did they mean exactly?

They meant that surely time _could_ be changed.

Could be changed by the one who could.

One person.

Only one.

He had always figured it was Lightning.

Now he understood that of course she wasn´t.

She couldn´t be.

She wasn´t the one who had set all of this into motion.

Wasn´t the one who kept the wheel turning.

It was him.

Had always been him.

Him and nobody else.

 _ **The one with the power to change the timeline...**_

Yes.

It definitely meant that time could be changed.

It had to.

But it also meant somebody had to die...

Right?

It did...

 _Constants and variables..._

No matter how hard he tried, Caius Ballad couldn´t stop thinking about it.

Obsessing about it, really.

Mulling it over and over in his head.

Angain and again.

He thought it through a countless times.

Every waking hour...

In his dreams at night...

There was no way out of it.

No way to deny.

Because no matter how he put it.

Somebody had to die.

Yes...

In the end always somebody had to die...

There was no way out of it.

Around it.

There simply wasn´t.

Somebody had to die.

And somehow he knew exactly who it had to be...

„If nothing of this ever happened... If the timeline was reversed and put right again..." Caius Ballad´s low and calming voice tore the silence of the small cozy hunter´s hut, making the pink haired female stirr slightly in her sleep.

He didn´t know what made him say it.

Those words, they had been waiting to be spoken on the tip of his tongue for quite some time now.

Suddenly he couldn´t keep them from slipping from his lips any longer.

His face buried in his lover´s hair, taking in her familiar scent, his fingers were in her cute pinkish strands again, gently combing through them, feeling their silky texture.

She had been dozing off in his arms again.

He could tell.

He loved it whenever she did that.

It meant she felt safe, felt comfortable around him. Meant that despite having been deadly enemies for such a long time, she trusted him enought to drop her guard around him.

It was a nice feeling.

A feeling he didn´t want to miss anymore.

He certainly didn´t deserve it...

Using the arm that had been resting somewhere on her companion´s upper body to support her body´s weight, the pink haired woman slowly made to lift her head, turned it to dreamily look up at him. The puzzled expression on her sleepy face telling him she was wondering what he was actually talking about, the woman of his dreams, she only gave him a quizzical stare.

Pain...

Caius Ballad gave a tiny sigh.

There was always that underlying pain there in those pretty pale blue eyes.

And there would always be.

Becauses something inside of her was broken.

Broken beyond repair.

Had been broken ever since he had first seen her.

Had been broken all this time ago.

All this time into the future.

Had been broken by his future self.

Yes... It had been him...

And he knew, just knew no matter how much he wished to mend it, to put it back together and alright again...

There was just no way to make her whole again.

Not in this life.

Was there?

„Caius... What are you talking about...?" The woman from his dreams whispered sleepily.

Her soft pinkish lips...

Still... After all those times he´d seen them do it, he still loved the way they formed his name...

„You being sucked into Valhalla. Our fighting. The unleashing of the Chaos. Serah dying..." the guardian clarified in a pensive voice, his words trailing off at the last part.

Her coming here. Them meeting. Them falling in love...

He left that part of his thoughts unvoiced.

Watching the pictures passing bye his inner eye, all those memories inside his head, all those moments spent together, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but smile.

Life had been one hell of a ride for both of them.

Looking back at it he couldn´t even believe everything that had happened.

Would happen in all those years to come.

Couldn´t believe the solution had been so close.

Had been there all this time...

Looking down into his lover´s eyes, Caius Ballad found confusion cloud those icy pools of blue.

„Caius...?"

His name again.

Her voice, soft.

Barely a whisper.

He caught the sound anyway.

Studying the guardian´s face carefully, the pink haired warrior searched those familiar features for a clue of what he might be thinking...

She came up empty.

No...

She didn´t understand.

Didn´t understand a tiny bit of what was going on inside her lover´s head.

All she understood was that there was so much affection there in those dark amethyst eyes.

So much love.

And she knew...

She just knew that for once in her life she had made the right decision, the right choice.

She had chosen Caius Ballad.

Be it fate or not.

Lying there so close to him, feeling the warmth of his body against her skin and the beat of his heart under her palm, for once in her lifetime it felt right.

Even if it was only for a tiny single moment.

Just a short moment in time, infinitely insignificant and small in face of the endless nature of the timeline, to be crushed some indefinite point in the future when he´d leave her to become Yeul´s guardian and take down the path that would lead him to immortality...

That would lead to the destruction of the world...

That would lead to them being mortal enemies...

That would make him the man who´d kill her...

Who had done so a countless times in a countless timelines.

In every version of reality.

It didn´t matter.

Knowing that every time he´d kill here would get her straight back to him, it didn´t matter.

She´d take the blade of his greatsword with pleasure any day.

It didn´t matter as long as she´d be here with him again.

As long as they could be together again.

If only for a short time...

„Would you be happy?" The guardian´s voice brought her back from her musings.

The words leaving his lips heavy, Caius Ballad barely managed to bring up the courage to ask them.

Somehow he already dreaded the answer...

For a few moments she only stared at him.

The woman he loved...

There was a dreamy smile playing at the corner of her lips and she gave a soft pensive sound as slowly she inclined her head.

Those pale blue eyes mysteriously twinkling in the darkness of his room, the guardian to be, he guessed he already knew the answer.

„Yes Caius, I guess I would." she said before stifling a yawn she snuggled up to him again, ready to drift back to sleep.

Off into another world.

A complete different reality.

A place were everything could happen, were nothing was certain and the future wasn´t set in stone...

He watched her form for another few minutes.

Watched her breathing even, listened to her throat emit those tiny cute sleeping sounds.

 _Yes Caius, I guess I would..._

Those had been her words...

Suddenly it was all he needed to hear.

* * *

 _Eternity eludes us, even as a thought._

\- Mason Cooley

* * *

That night sleep didn´t find him.

Caius didn´t care.

He wasn´t going to need to be rested for what he was going to do anyway.

Thinking it all through once more, his resolution only strenghtened as carefully disentangling his body from his lover´s arms and legs he made towards the edge of the bed.

She looked so peaceful when she slept...

So carefree.

Happy almost.

The sight of her content relaxed features, he tried to memorize it, every tiny inch of it.

A mental photograph, to carry in his heart forever.

Yes...

Finally, he knew exactly what he had to do...

Planting a kiss on her cheek and breathing in her scent for the very last time he got up from his bed to quickly put on some of his hunter´s clothes, before pausing only at the table to pick up one of Lightning´s most priced posessions, he exited the battered front door, swiftly making his way outside into the cool morning air.

He didn´t wake her.

No farewell, no last kiss.

No good bye...

She hated good byes.

Had told him so weeks, no months ago.

There was no reason to make this complicated...

She wouldn´t let him go through with this, would only try and stop him.

There was no need to say good bye anyway...

If things turned out as he had planned there would be no reason to say good bye.

Then nothing of all of this would ever happen.

Then Claire Farron would never even meet him, wouldn´t even know his name...

It was the crack of dawn outside.

The sun only starting to rise from behind the giant plains of the Archylte Steppe, it was silent, the air was brisk and there was a fresh autumn breeze tousling his long purple hair the second that he stepped outside the village´s wooden gates.

It was the best time of the day to hunt down some game.

Although it was completely beside the point he couldn´t help but notice this, his mind trained to become the one of a hunter ever since he´d been born, just like his father´s before him, it was in his blood, was part of him, of who he was.

Listening to the steppe around him waking up, the grass rustling with all kinds of small harmless creatures and the birds in the sky above and on the few broad leaved trees greeting the morning by chirping their songs, the experienced hunter left the path that would lead him to the forrest and the mountains and ventured off into the dry high grass, those vast wide plains he had called his home for all his life.

Although he wasn´t following the trodden path he knew his way, knew it perfectly well, didn´t even have to watch were he was going, as he made up the gentle slope of the familiar small grassy hill.

The feeling of the dry earthy ground beneath his boots...

One foot after the other...

The feeling of the cool morning air, filling his lungs...

One breath after the other...

There was a single huge oak tree towerig at the top of the hill.

His special place.

 _Their_ special place.

Yes...

He had climbed that slope a countless times already.

Even in this timeline.

And he couldn´t help but remember...

Remember how they had first come here...

The very first time he had brought her here...

Right after Imani´s wedding.

How he had put a flower into her hair and how he had nearly, almost kissed her.

How they had talked there, and argued and watched the stars and endless sunsets and so much more...

Yes...

This place definitely was his favourite.

His haven.

His sanctuary.

He had always come here whenever he needed time to think, time to be alone.

It was the place they had spent their first night together.

The place they´d visited a countless times afterwards.

It was a good place he guessed.

The only place to get this done.

And letting his body fall to his knees, he took out the item that he had taken from Lightning´s personal belongings.

That gun.

The one she had shot him with back in the forrests all those weeks ago.

Weighting it in his hands it is heavy and cold. A weapon created for the sole purpose to kill, every bullet in it´s chamber designed to take a life.

There was only one bullet left inside...

He knew that.

This bullet...

It was meant for him.

Turning the revolver over in his hands to inspect it from every angle, he felt a peaceful calm there settling over him.

A calm coming from the knowledge that he was doing the right thing.

Yes.

This was the right thing to do.

It had been all along and he had known.

Somehow he had known.

There was no denying it anymore.

There was no use in delaying it any longer.

The truth had been there all the time.

Had been with him.

Always with him.

And so had the solution.

 _ **The one with the power to change the timeline must choose betwen those who live and those who die...**_

 _ **You must bear the burden of the final paradox...**_

Yeul´s words, they kept repeating themselves over and over in his head.

They had been since he had first heard them.

He had understood their meaning instantly.

He had understood but hadn´t found the courage to admit it to himself.

It was easy, really...

 _ **If you change the future, you change the past...**_

 _ **The effects would ripple up and down the timeline...**_

To set the timeline right, Caius Ballad had to die.

Staring at the horizon, some apparent line seperating the earth from the sky, the dark haired hunter lifted the gun up to his temple.

That tiny line...

Always visible.

But never tangible.

No matter how long you walked you´d never reach it.

Just like the future...

The slowly rising sun reflecting off Cocoon, it painted the sky in million different colours.

Reds and oranges.

Blues.

Pinks and purples...

Yes... Without him becoming a guardian he wouldn´t fight agaist Cocoon, against the Fal´Cie.

Without falling in the War of Transgression, he wouldn´t receive the Heart of Chaos. Without the Hearth of Chaos no immortality, without immortality no reason for Yeul to keep reincarnating to keep him company, without Yeul no Chaos.

And without Chaos nothing in Lightning´s future would have happened... None of it.

No…

None of her friends and family dying.

No Lightning getting sucked to Valhalla...

Without him...

No eternal paradox.

Yeul and Lightning.

This way, maybe he could save them both...

He knew it was the right thing to do.

There was not a single grain of doubt in him.

Closing his eyes there was the image of that woman...

His enemy.

The woman he had come to love.

The woman he was ready to give everything up for.

The woman he wanted nothing more than to be happy.

Yes.

He wanted her to be happy.

More than anything.

And for her to be happy he needed to let her go.

She would be happy in the future she belonged to.

A future where she could be with her friends, be with her family.

A future without Chaos.

A future without him.

A future where there was no place, space, room for Caius Ballad.

„ _It is easy really, the cartridge´s are already in there. So it´s just grasp that thing tightly, cock the hammer all the way back, take aim, pull the trigger and kill."_

She had told him how to do it...

Had told him all those months back when he had first brought her out to the Archylte Steppe.

And she was right.

It wasn´t hard.

He could do it.

He could do it easily.

He would.

No running away anymoe.

No guilt.

No regrets.

No empty promises.

No pain.

Taking a long deep calming breath, one of the last few breaths for him to draw, the dark clad hunter pressed the cool hard muzzle of the acient six shooter tightly to his scull, let the tip of his right hand´s thumb caress the smooth cold metal of the ancient six shooter´s surface as he brought the hammer to full cock.

It was about time...

Time he let go.

And resolving the final paradox, smoothly almost gently, Caius Ballad pulled the trigger.

* * *

 **Life is an eternity, death is just a moment.**

* * *

 _Forever is composed of nows._

 _The sound of a bird flying low across the Steppe._

 _Then nothing._

 _A cloud passing._

 _Nothing again._

 _Light falling through the leaves of a nearby tree,_

 _falling onto me,_

 _into me._

 _Moments..._

 _All gathering towards this one._

* * *

 **THE END**

* * *

 _And throughout all eternity_

 _I forgive you, you forgive me._

 _\- William Blake_

* * *

Quotes stolen from Mikhail Lermontov, Emily Dickson and Jenny Downham, and altered accordingly.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading, enjoying, reviewing and supporting.**

* * *

 **You are awesome.**

* * *

 **THANKS.**


	17. Epilogue

So guys. After reading that devastating ending, here´s the Epilogue for you...

After this one it´s good bye.

I hope you enjoyed the story.

Please let me know. I´m so looking forward to your reviews!

Anyway. This is the very last bit...

I´ve spent a year on writing this story. And it was a great experience. A lot of shit happened in this year. Good things and a lot of bad things, sadly. But although I sometimes had a hard time writing on this I am glad you guys believed in me and kept me going. I grew on this story and I took a lot from writing it. And now that I´m finally done (I still can´t believe it!) I think it is time for me to start something new. To start a new chapter of my life. To move on.

Anyway I´m glad you took this journey with me.

There´s nothing left to do but thank you for sticking with me until the very end.

I´m so happy there are so many people who read this story and who were touched by this story.

So... This story is my gift to you.

I really love you guys.

You are awesome.

So with this I say good bye.

I wish you all the best.

For your present and your future.

And whatever you do, please take care out there.

Love, Your´s Amber.

* * *

(Ryuichi Sakamoto & Jaques Morelenbaum - Bibo No Aozora)

* * *

 **THE ETERNAL PARADOX**

 **EPILOGUE**

 _One song can spark a moment,_

 _One flower can wake the dream,_

 _One tree can start a forest,_

 _One bird can harold spring._

 _One smile begins a friendship,_

 _One handclasp lifts a soul,_

 _One star can guide a ship at sea,_

 _One word can frame the goal._

 _One vote can change a nation,_

 _One sunbeam lights a room,_

 _One candle wipes out darkness,_

 _One laugh will conquer gloom._

 _One step must start each journey,_

 _One word must start each prayer,_

 _One hope will raise our spirits,_

 _One touch can show you care._

 _One voice can speak with wisdom,_

 _One heart can know what´s true,_

 _One life can make the difference,_

 _you see..._

 _It´s up to you._

-The power of one (Author unknown)

* * *

 _What are a couple of moments in the raging oceans of eternity?_

 _Bittersweet they are._

* * *

 **Grand Pulse, 0 AF**

 **Ground Zero**

 _Wake up..._

Opening her eyes to the blinding brightness of the evening sun reflected in indestructable crystal, Claire Farron fell to her knees.

Looking at her hands and down at her body in amazement, she moved every single one of her fingers to check whether indeed they were working alright.

Her guardian corps uniform hanging loosely around her body, it was ripped and torn in places but beneath the dirty blood soaked fabric, she was still breathing, was unscathed.

What was going on?

Was this really happening?

Was this a dream?

Slowly lifting her head she let her gaze trail upwards, her pretty pale blue eyes landing on the crystallized structure of Cocoon, her home, looming in the sky above like a single giant diamond, sparkling and glistening in a million brilliant colours, as the sun went down spectacularily in a sea of pink and purple.

Lightning almost couldn´t believe it.

They´d done it.

They had saved the world.

They had managed to defeat Barthandelus.

They had managed to defy the Fal´Cie, the Gods even.

Had managed to defeat their _destiny._

Squiting her eyes at the intensity of the reflected light, Lightning found the planetoid´s weight supported by a huge towering pillar of unbreakable crystal.

What the fuck was going on?

What had happened there exactly?!

Carefully getting back up to her feet and picking up Blaze Edge from were it was lying on the ground right next to her, the pink haired woman slowly found her memories flood back to her.

How they had defeated Barthandelus...

How they had all completed their focus...

How they had all turned into crystal...

Yes, she had been turned into crystal!

And still...

Here she was.

Heart still beating.

Lungs still breathing, her body still intact.

Alive.

Yes... It was over. And she was still alive!

She still couldn´t believe it...

How they had defeated Orphan and doomed Cocoon to smash into Grand Puls and how Fang and Vanille had turned into that giant beast and stopped her home from falling...

Fang and Vanille...

Where were they exactly?

What had happened to them?

Staring at the spectacle of light in front of her, she realized that of course they weren´t there.

They had sacrificed their lives to become that crystal pillar.

„Lightning?" the pink haired soldier suddenly heard Hope pipe up from somewhere next to her.

The young tough boy...

He was looking at her hopefully, before catching her grave expression, he hung his head defeatedly.

„They´re gone, aren´t they?" he said, sadness creeping into his boyish voice as realisation hit him.

It wasn´t really a question.

„Hey..." Lightnig tried tentatively, as putting a hand on his shoulder in what was meant in a comforting way, she made to look deep into his eyes.

„They saved the world..."

„No, they gave us a new one!" Snow Villiers´ strong deep voice interrupted from somewhere right behind them.

Looking up to meet his gaze, Lightning found the brawny blonde smiling down at them from only a few meters away, Sazh hot on his heels.

„That´s one gift I´ll forgive ´em for not wrapping!" The cheerful man with the Chocobo chick living in his wild black hair threw in.

Looking up at his companions, Hope only gave a tiny nod, before his huge green eyes wandered back to the giant crystal pillar.

„Does this mean we completed our focus?" The boy asked carefully.

Following his quizzical stare, Lightning briefly locked eyes with Snow, before quickly looking away again.

Their focus...

Serah...

„Cocoon´s seen better days, that´s for sure!" the bear of a man said, his throat emitting a tiny chuckle.

„Yeah and I´d say that qualifies as demolition!" Sazh agreed, motioning at the crystal moon above.

„Focus complete."

Her attention following Sazh´s gesture to the foot of the giant crystal pillar, Lightning found the air buzzing with aircraft as she saw manned ariships of all sizes and shapes land down on the grassy plains, people of all origins and all ages opening their main deck´s hatches to breathe in Gran Pulse´s air for the very first time in their lives.

A breath of freedom...

„Look! My brand is gone!" Hope suddenly cried out, his eyes wide and his mouth agape as completely overwhelmed by his unexpected discovery he kept staring at his left wrist in wonder.

No... It couldn´t be...

Her gaze trailing down to her own chest, a tiny surprised gasp escaped the pink haired soldier´s throat.

Bringing up a shaky hand, her fingers, they touched only naked plain pale skin, not a trace of those dark inky marks where her L´Cie brand had been sitting what seemed only seconds ago.

Breathing a sigh of relief, the woman sent her silent thanks up to the heavens.

Up to the gods.

If ever there were any...

What they had experienced there, it was beyond what she deemed possible, beyond anything she could explain...

The others looking around surprisedly, it was Snow who started laughing first.

It began as a low rumble somewhere deep inside his throat, a low rumble that grew into something bigger, something bright and cheerful as the air passed by his vocal cords and before anybody knew what happened it had turned into a full-blown hearty laughter.

It was contagious...

Sazh and Hope joining in almost immediately, the woman with the loose wild pinkish hair, she felt her lips twist upwards into a sincere and relieved smile.

They had made it.

They had saved the world.

Catching her sister´s lover checking and rechecking his forearm just to make sure his L´Cie brand wasn´t going just pop up again anytime soon, Lightning let her eyes wander back up to the skies.

The deep red orb that was the sun, sinking behind a golden glimmering horizon...

The glittering form of Cocoon...

To the soothing play of colours...

The light slowly fading to ever so slightly blend into a pitch black night the further she let her gaze trail east, she found a handful tiny twinkling stars already shining in the distance.

Sunset on Gran Pulse...

She hadn´t yet had time to watch one.

It would be the first of many more to come...

Suddenly without the constant pressure of their focus, and their constant fear of their impeding doom gnawing at the back of her mind, Lightning couldn´t help but admit Pulse was a beautiful and peaceful place.

Beautiful, but dangerous the same.

It would be her new place to stay.

Her new home, someday.

She knew it was the place that she belonged.

The place they all belonged to...

Her peaceful musings, they were quickly interrupted though, by a high piched cry coming from right next her, tearing her from her dreamy state and throwing her right back to the hard ground of reality.

Her hand shooting to her gunblade´s hilt in barely any time at all, she had her weapon ready in fighting stance just to watch in bewilderment as Sazh tiny Chocobo suddenly took off from the kind man´s messy hair, chirping and wailing at the top of it´s voice as it soared up and down excitedly.

„Hey calm down Bro! What´s gotten into you?!" Sazh started as he tried to catch the tiny golden bird to force it back into it´s nest on his head.

But the wicked thing, it wouldn´t listen, as not caring for his master´s protests, it rose up higher in the air before, floating a good 3 meters from the ground it suddenly soared away and toward the crystal pillar at amazing speed.

„Hey! ´you crazy?!" The dark skinned man yelled after it.

But the bird was already off, determined to take to the skies, it seemed.

Their eyes following the disbehaving animal, a tiny golden spot zooming through the air, Lightning´s eyes caught on something moving in the distance..

There was something...

Some strange distortion...

A moving shadow...

A flicker in the distance...

Was there something approching?!

There was...

Or rather someone?!

With the light reflected off Cocoon blinding her eyes, it wasn´t exactly easy to tell.

„What the -" Lightning started before suddenly words failed her.

From beneath the glowing crystal sphere there were two forms approaching.

A small dark dot and a slightly taller light one...

No...

It couldn´t be...

„An´ there was this whole big bunch of Chocobos there!" the pink haired soldier heard a high pitched young boy´s voice, soft and tiny, from the distance.

The two dots coming nearer, she could make out the form of two people...

A small dark skinned boy with a shock of big meesy dark hair in a small purple overall and a woman...

A woman with a heart shaped face and long pinkish strands reaching down to her waist...

Lightning only stared.

„There was, was there?"

A cheerful female voice...

So strangely familiar...

She had heard it before...

A countless times...

She´d recognize it anywhere...

But no...

It couldn´t be...

Or could it?!

 _Serah...?!_

„Look there!" the pink haired dot said excitedly, as touching the small boy´s shoulder she pointed at the group of people infront.

The sight of them, it made the small boy´s eyes grow huge. Made him forget all he wanted to tell her about Chocobos...

„SERAH!" The younger Farron heard her fiancé shout out for her from the top of the small hill in front.

„SNOW!" The answer came immediatedly, as breaking into a small run, the two dots suddenly sped toward them.

The big blond man running up to meet her somewhere in the middle the two lovers met there in a tight embrace.

„Oh Serah! You are here! You are safe!" Lightning heard Snow´s voice as she watched Sazh lift his son up high into the air, making the tiny boy emit a cheerful giggle.

Not wanting to disturb their happy reunion she just stayed back a bit. A little aside together with Hope...

This was were she belonged now.

Her sister had grown up.

Serah was not a child any more...

She didn´t want to interfere...

This was none of her business...

Right?

„Lightning!" Her sister suddenly called her name.

And looking up she saw the younger girl run up to her, her fiancé following close behind.

Stopping right in fron of her, for a few moments the two sisters only stared at each other.

That heart shaped face...

That same pinkish hair...

Those brilliant blue eyes...

Somehow she hadn´t thought she´d see them again...

„I missed you." Serah suddenly said and it was only a moment later that Lightning found her sister´s arms around her, found herself pulled into a tight hug.

„I missed you too..." the pink haired soldier said. Her hands coming up to hold her sister, to pull her closer, to never let her go, there was a tiny silver tear to be glimpsed sliding down her pale smooth cheek.

„Serah... I´m sorry... I´m so sorry!" The older Farron began tentatively.

Slowly pulling away, her little sister only gave her a forgiving smile.

„It´s okay..." she whispered, a few tiny tears rolling down her cheek as well.

„Hey! Come on, the appologies can wait!" Snow suddenly interrupted, pulling the two women apart.

„We´ve got a wedding to plan!"

There was the sound of the pulsian summer breeze whoshing past their ears and an excited whistle coming from the dark skinned man a few meters away.

„You´re gonna allow it- right?" The brawny blonde asked carefully, his eyes meeting the pink haired soldier´s chilly blue ones with respect, his request sincere.

Lightning only chuckled, before shaking her haid playfully she looked away.

Of course she would!

Snow could be such a jerk sometimes.

„Wow... You don´t waste any time do you." Hope threw in amusedly.

„Noooo... I dont." the blonde man answered.

„That´s right! Just charge in, guns blazing!" Sazh commented cheerfully.

It caused the small group to erupt in giggles.

„I swear to you, I´ll make her happy." Snow promised tentatively.

„I believe you." The pink haired soldier said.

And it was true.

She did believe him.

The tall blonde man turning around to capture his fiancé in another no doubt bone crushing embrace, Lightning took a few steps away, gave the couple some space, some privacy.

Her gaze wandering those vast plain lands around her, she stayed behind for a little while longer as she watched her friends, her family make towards the crystal pillar, towards the people coming down to land there from Cocoon.

Barthandelus was defeated.

The Fal´Cie who had been enslaving them for centuries, they were no more.

Danger was banned after all.

Disaster had been averted.

And the world, it had been spared once more.

Taking a few steps towards where Cocoon was looming in the distance, silently she watched as more and more people emerged from their ships and stepped into the last rays of Gran Pulse´s warm and soothing evening sun.

The ground beneath the crystal pillar... It was crawling with people already.

From her distance they were merely tiny spots.

Like ants.

But she knew that they were busy.

Busy settling down already.

Ready for a their new feture.

Ready for a new dawn.

Maybe they´d start a whole new civilsiation now...

Free from the Fal´Cie...

All by themselves.

It was possible, right?

Yes, it was.

She had seen so many things.

So many things she´d never thought possible, happen in front of her very eyes...

The giant shiny sphere of Cocoon hanging there in the distance, the sun finally vanishing behind a dark golden horizon, Lightning almost couldn´t grasp it.

Everything that had happened...

Yes...

More than one miracle took place that day.

Coccon was saved by Fang and Vanille´s sacrifice...

And the rest of them had awoken from their crystal sleep...

Serah was back and their brands were gone...

They were free...

It was Etro´s blessing that had been their salvation.

A gate had opened into the unseen realm and through it the Goddess had gifted them with her mercy.

The pink haired warrior there, she felt a whirlwind of emotions...

A large part of it was happiness.

And relief was there too.

But somewhere inside she still felt uneasy, felt on edge.

Vanille and Fang were gone...

And the world hung there in silence...

Their fight had just ended.

But somehow she couldn´t bring herself to relax.

Was it really over?

Had they really just succeeded?

Were they really safe..?

A soft rustle of tall dry grass behind her...

A cool gentle breeze tugging at her left hand shoulder...

 _Constants and variables..._

 _Givens and possibilities..._

What would she find there once she turned around?

Would there be a lurking shadow, a darkness reaching out for her, ready to grab her and throw her into a different world, into another dimension really, the raging tides of Chaos there to drag here down once more?

Maybe...

Or maybe there´d be nothing.

Just the vast grassy plains of the Archylte Steppe, endlessly stretching out in front of her.

Infinite. Just like the universe. The Stars. Above.

* * *

 _We are all time travellers in a sense._

 _We enter a new timeline with every choice we make,_

 _or refuse to make._

 _We alter the timeline with every movement, every breath, every emotion._

 _Every single action,_ _every step you take,_ _every word you speak,_

 _is irreversibly burned into the all pervading fabric of time forever._

 _They are all ripples in the cosmic sea of energy._

 _A single thought has the power to tear down worlds, to create universes,_

 _And a single word can change the course of fate._

 _Moving through a world of opportunities, a world of wonders,_

 _We all travel to the future._

 _One second at a time._

* * *

The future is moldable material.

It can be shaped, formed, sculpted, twisted to your will.

There is a beginning and there is an end.

There is birth and there is death.

But what is inbetween...

The journey...

It is what you make it.

It can be easy and straight forward, or stony and full of bends and rifts.

Can be tough sometimes, unbearable almost.

Or bright and full of bliss.

But whatever you do...

Don´t let yourself get chained down by past sins, by negative experiences, by fears.

Don´t waste your days with longing for what was yesterday, what could have been.

It´s time to leave your past behind...

The future, it can change with every dawning day, every starting minute, every breath and every second.

Every single moment is a new opportunity to change your life.

Nobody can tell you what lies out there waiting for you.

Nobody can show you the way.

Noone.

You can only find it by yourself.

But I´m sure there´s a lot of awesome things for you to do, tons of brilliant people there to meet and thousands of beautiful experiences just waiting out there to be made.

Don´t you wanna do them?

Don´t you wanna find them?

Don´t you wanna make them?

Do you want to look back at your life once you are old and think that you´ve done everything you ever wanted, archieved everything you ever thought of and experienced everything you ever dreamed of to one day die with a smile on your face and a mind full of brilliant memories?

Or do you want to end up sobbing and denying, regretting how you never even tried?

It´s up to you.

Now get up from your couch and shape your own future!

* * *

 _In the end we´ll all become stories._

 _Make sure your´s is a good one._

-Margaret Atwood (altered)

* * *

 **THE ETERNAL PARADOX**

* * *

A story by Amber T.

* * *

 **Love. Peace. Joy.**

 **To Everyone.**

* * *

Amber T.

Over.

And Out.


	18. Chapter XIII-3: Lightning Returns

So... For all those of you who didn´t enjoy the original ending, here´s a teaser for my short story sequel / alternate ending "Parallel Lines". I´m going to post this story as a seperate story, so go and check it out;)

* * *

 **THE ETERNAL PARADOX**

 **CHAPTER XIII-3: LIGHTNING RETURNS**

* * *

PARALLEL LINES

* * *

 _Imagine you have a destiny._

 _But you don´t fulfil it._

 _Imagine you know your path._

 _But you don´t walk it._

 _Imagine you know exactly what you´ve got to do,_

 _But you just decide against it._

 _What will happen when you simply choose to defy your fate?_

 _Will the timeline collapse into itself_

 _and everything you ever knew just cease to exist?_

 _What does it matter if reality is torn asunder,_

 _If time and space it drowned in a gigantic wave of Chaos_

 _And the world you knew is dying in a burst of flame._

 _It doesn´t matter one bit._

 _Nothing really matters._

 _Never will._

 _As long as we can be together._

* * *

„The one with the power to change the timeline must choose between those who live and those who die. They must bear the burden of the eternal paradox." the pale enigmatic woman stated somewhat pensively, looking down at her chosen champions through a gap between the stars as carefully she weighted the meaning of those words.

Yes. She had chosen a good pair of candidates this time. She really had.

Rewarding that comment of her´s with one of his curious stares, Bhunivelze only arched his eyebrows.

He wasn´t exactly fond of her choice, she knew.

But she didn´t really care for his opinion anyway.

Never had. Never would.

The almighty god of light, he had a terrible taste when it came to human beings...

„Who is he, the one with the power?" Bhunivelze asked confusedly, shaking his head in annoyance as it seemed he couldn´t grasp the answer.

The Goddess Etro, Goddess of the afterlife, she only gave one of her secretive little smiles.

„Everyone."

* * *

 **ENJOY.**


End file.
